You Complete Me
by Luthien Calmcacils
Summary: Thank you to all of my loyal readers, I know that posting is taking longer than usual but I now have a job and still in school. So please be patient with me and I will try my best to update soon and thank you again for reading.
1. Chapter 1

You Complete Me 

HALDIR

SHASHUWAN

WRITTEN BY  
LUTHIEN CALCMAMCILS 

~PROLOGUE~

Someone once told me if you experience something that has a profound impact in your life. You should tell the world. Well, this is my story.

I lived an ordinary life. A pediatrician by profession, I owned a ranch with two lovely horses. I was engaged but found out he was not faithful to me at all, so I canceled the wedding. But I have also felt that something was missing from my life like there was a part of me that was missing; there should be more to me but could not figure it out. Sometimes it was very frustrating and other times it would not bother me but I have always had that feeling like I was meant to do more.

Something happened six months ago that made me wish more than ever that I was somewhere else. It's one of those events that you always think would never happen to you. My best friend's brother raped me. I have not told his sister, my best friend for life, Katara. I felt like I couldn't. The three of us were like family, until that horrible day. Only one other person knows about that night, that is my colleague and friend, Dr. Julia Kane.

I thought I could handle it in my own way like I have always done with other situations. But unfortunately I was not handling this well at all. Usually when something happens in my life that I cannot deal with I would talk with my parents but I have not had that luxury since they have been dead for over twenty years now. You think I would be over their death by now but I am not, I miss my parents' everyday. It started to affect my work and my personal life, so I decided that I needed sometime to myself. Katara thought that I just needed some downtime to hang out at my cabin in the woods. That was the night that my life changed and everything that I had grown up thinking was the truth was not. I am not the person that I thought I was…. 

**~Chapter 1~**

After the rape, even though it was six months ago, I still can't get a decent night sleep. No matter what pills I take or meditations I try, nothing seems to help. Now it has even started to affect my work. In my heart I know that I need to make a change or lose everything.

Since the rape I have felt that strangers have been invading my dreams. Well I don't want to say strangers but sometimes they seem familiar, but I can't figure it out. I know this seems crazy but they seem so real. When I awake I expect to see them in my room but in there is no one there except for me and my foolish dreams. I don't feel like I could take another night of this insanity. 

Katara is like a sister to me. She works as my Office Manager and Administrative Assistant and has been there whenever I needed someone or something. We grew up together and very rarely would you see us apart; we even went to the same college. Katara and I could almost past for sisters our height is the same but she is a shade darker than I, her hair is long and straight while mine is long and naturally curly. (I hated it) She has a beautiful smile but when it comes to our eyes she always thought mine were a bit odd. Hers were brown and mine were almost yellow in color even I found it to be uneasy at times. Sometimes I would where contacts that were brown while I was at work or when I went out. Every now and then she would jokingly call me "Countess Vampira" only she could get away with that.

While we are close as sisters, she doesn't know anything about what happened between her brother and I'm afraid that if I did tell her I would lose her friendship forever. I feel increasingly tormented by the memories of that horrible night and by my dreams.

In desperation, I called Katara and left a message that I needed to talk with her right away.

"Shashuwan, what's going on?" Katara asked. "Your message sounded very troubled. Are you ok or are you still having those dreams?"

I thought I would lie my way out of it, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. "I really don't want to be alone. Could you come out here please?"

Katara was alarmed because she knows me as a strong-minded person. She promised she would be right over. We had an uneventful dinner and sipped our wine afterwards. Once we were both a bit more relaxed, Katara wasted no time asking me what was going on. She could see that something was bothering me. I opened up and told her of the feeling that I have had about something or a part of me is missing like I should be somewhere else and the images of people watching me in my dreams. I hesitated not knowing if I should tell her more of these people.

"Are you sure you're not working too many hours?" Katara asked.

"No," I said. "Katara the strangest part is I feel like I am a part of them or I should know them." 

"Shash, please are you serious?"

I sat there looking at her.

"You are serious aren't you? Shash, that is more than a little off beat even for you."

"Katara, maybe your right I've just been working way to many hours."

She looked at me a little shocked. "Shash you have been working eight hours at the office and sometime eight hours in the ER at the Hospital. It was bound to catch up with you sooner than later. You're not super woman you know!" 

I smiled at her and shook my head. "Katara you are going to make a wonderful mother one day and I hope to be here to see it. And you are right I have been putting in way too many hours lately."

"Hmm…Maybe you should take some time off for yourself, getaway, relax your mind, get a new perspective on life and love."

A new perspective on life, what I needed was to find peace within myself. And, I always had the hopes and dreams of finding what I am missing in my life, but love is the furthest from my mind right now. How can I love any man now? I can't even stand to have a man touch me. This is hopeless.

"Shashuwan, maybe you should think about entering the dating scene again. You could meet someone new and start to enjoy yourself."

I turned and looked at her with anger in my eyes. "A man, meet a man? Oh no! That is not going to happen, not now!"

I could tell Katara was starting to get frustrated with me when she asked, "What do you mean it's not going to happen? What is going on with you? How can I help you if you don't tell me what is wrong?"

"You can't help. It's my problem. I have to deal with it alone, in my own way. You can't help me. I don't think anyone can."

Katara walked over and held me. "Maybe one day you will tell me, maybe one day."

We sat on the deck looking up at the evening stars, not talking just sipping our wine. Katara finally broke the silence.

"Shashuwan, you should go and take some time off. I'm not being funny or anything like that, but you have not taken a vacation in over a year. Please, take the two weeks, ok?

"You think I should?"

"Yes. You have no surgeries coming up. I could move some appointments around on your calendar. Plus Dr. Landon head of ER is concerned that you are not taking care of yourself and wants you to take sometime off. So you have no excuses, how about it?"

"I'll take it. Maybe I need to get away for a while, think and try to clear my mind"

We turned in for the night. I imagine Katara slept well, but for me it was another restless night, full of foggy images and voices. 

Sunday morning we started packing for my two-week vacation and hike up to the cabin. I gathered a week's worth of clothing, personal items and a sleeping bag. My cell phone was charged, CD player and flashlight. For food I carried bottled water, granola bars and fruit. And of course I was determined to take my laptop and a couple files to work on while I was gone and two extra batteries for the laptop.

"Shash, you're not taking your tent?"

"No, I think I will let the stars be my tent tonight."

Katara finally finished. She helped me with the backpack. "Is it too heavy?"

"No not at all, you know better than to ask that." 

Katara started to leave but turned to impart some encouraging words, "Shash, I hope you can find some peace of mind and then maybe you can tell me what is going on inside of you, ok?"

"Yes, maybe I will find peace and the strength to tell you what I need to. Thank you Katara for being my sister."

We locked up the house, hugged and said our goodbyes.

Katara stood, watching me leave. I left hiking off into the woods hoping and wishing I could find some peace within my soul.

After I had been walking for a while, I started feeling a little better. I started singing along with the Alicia Keys' song that was playing on my CD player stopping often to just enjoy the scenery and relax.

When I am out here alone I often think of my parents especially my Father, when we went camping I was a child he knew everything about being in the woods. He knew how to read the stars, the different smells in the air, building fires and how to track animals, he was amazing at everything he did, I miss my father we had a bond like no other. He was always pushing me to do more and to learn everything. My father started teaching me to ride horses when I was 6 years old. when I was 10 he taught me archery. That I could never figure out at all, well if you think about it a lot of things my Father taught me made no sense to me but I did not mind because I loved spending time with him, he was my protector I was never afraid when he was around. I miss my father, don't get me wrong I love my mother and missed her just as much but my father there is was something about our relationship that was just special.

Before I knew it I had lost all track of time it was getting late. I decided to stop for the evening and get some rest. I came upon a clearing set up my camp before I went to sleep I called Katara to let her know I was ok and would be at that cabin by noon. As my eyes were getting tired I prayed for peace in my dreams. The voices were stronger tonight as if they were with me at my campsite the wind began to pick up. There was lighting and clashes of thunder. A voice was speaking to me in my sleep.

_"Wake up it is time."_

I sat up and screamed, "WHO ARE YOU! I don't know who you are but you need to leave me the hell alone!" I stood up trying to focus to see if anyone was out there after awhile I noticed the air smelled different. Even the lightening was different it seemed brighter.

"Where are you? I know you're out here show yourself now or…."

Lightening struck a near-by tree branch, it fell and hit me in the head. Just before I passed into unconsciousness, I could have sworn I saw someone reaching for me.

When I came to, I was laying on my sleeping bag. The last thing I remembered was lightening. There was a cloth on my forehead I heard voices. I had no idea how long I laid there, unconscious. I blinked a few times to clear my mind and my sight. I slowly sat up. I felt a little dizzy after standing, but I was all right. I had to find out who was talking or if anyone was really there. I could not believe my eyes they had pointed ears and…..

They were walking towards me. I stepped back trying to get away from them. I began to shake with fear as everything started spinning and going black around the edges.

One of them caught me right before I hit the ground. I let out a groan. I reached up and touched my head blood was streaming down my face. The one with the long silver-blonde hair and blue eyes seemed very concerned and gently cleaned the cut. He told the other two to pack my things.

"We must get her to Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn now."

I faded in and out of consciousness and heard bits and pieces of their conversation. I felt him staring at me. From the foggy glimpse of these men that I remember, I know I looked very different to them because I have never seen anyone like them before. I could tell from the almost soothing rocking motion that we were riding on a horse. The one with the beautiful blue eyes cradled me in his arms while we rode. I managed to open my eyes just to see him and ask;

"Who are you?" And I was out again. 

While I was riding with him I managed to open eyes but everything seemed blurry, I looked up at him and asked, "May I have some water please?"

He looked down at me. "Orophin, Rumil stop, bring me water quickly."

They brought him what looked like a flask. He put it up to my lips and I drank. "Drink slowly, just sip." I did as he asked the water felt cool and refreshing.

"How do you feel, my lady?"

"My head hurts horribly. Can't you give me something to help with the pain?"

"I am sorry. I am not a healer, but I can help you rest. Close your eyes and concentrate on my voice. Be at peace and rest. I promise no one will harm you, sleep peacefully my lady."

Then he said something that I did not understand and I felt a veil of warmth surround me. I laid my head upon his chest and had a peaceful, undisturbed sleep for the first time in 6 months. It was wonderful! I thought it was all a dream but I was very wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

~Chapter 2~

As I drifted in and out of consciousness all I could remember was the woman who took care of me. I had heard her voice before, but I couldn't remember if she was part of my dream like before or if she was truly real this time. I noticed two men on the other side of my bed I could not see them clearly one of the men looked tall and slender with broad shoulders and long golden beautiful hair, like the woman. The other one stood tall with dark**er** features, long black hair and his features were firm but gentle. Somehow I felt as if I should have known him, could he be the one that was haunting my dreams**. **His voice seems so familiar to me. They were very kind to me, and for that I will always be in their debt. I lost all sense of time.

When I finally woke up, I had a splitting headache. I gingerly sat up in bed and tried to focus, but the constant throbbing in my head made it difficult. The light seemed so much brighter than usual**.** I had to cover my eyes until they could adjust. When I was able to see more clearly I slowly took in the details of the room around me. Everything looked beautiful, but for some reason it also seemed strange, almost other worldly. The room looked exquisite. There were long archways that opened on to outdoor balconies to the left and right of me.

The birds were chirping outside and I felt the warmth of the sun upon my face. The calmness that surrounded me in this room revived my spirit some. I thought that I must be in heaven. I slowly pushed back the softly woven covers and noticed that I was not in my clothes**;** but a beautiful long, white nightgown. I scooted over towards the side of the bed, slowly swung my legs around and sat there on the edge of the bed.

I tried to figure out where I could possible be, but nothing made any sense. That's when my eyes fell upon "him" again. He sat there quietly, legs stretched out with a book resting on his lap. It surprised me when I realized that someone actually looked familiar! He was the one that cared for me that day on the trail. When I saw him I tried to stand up, but I felt a little dizzy. He came to my side as if to offer some sort of support. In shock I turned to him, I hated to admit it, but my voice trembled a bit. "Who are you? What happened? Where am I?"

"Please, sit down, milady," he requested. "You are not well yet." I complied with his request and sat on the side of the bed. I quietly asked, "May I please have some water?"

He gave me the water and asked me to please sip it. I did as he asked while I sipped my water I could not help but notice his strange attire. Some of his hair had fallen back and he had pointed ears! What is he? WHERE THE HELL AM I? Again I asked him, "Where am I and who are you?" I then continued and said, "Forget who, what are you?"

I hated to admit it, even though this man had been nice to me earlier, a slight sense of fear rippled through my body. I closed my eyes as my headache came back in full force. I rested my elbows on my knees as I massaged my temples with my fingertips. Surprisingly unfazed by my confusion, he simply answered, "My name is Haldir and I am an elf. The Lady Galadriel requested that I stay with you until you awakened. She thought you might be more comfortable with a familiar face. What is your name, milady?"

My eyes snapped back open! "Are you seriously an elf? Elves aren't real. This must all be some bizarre hallucination or dream," I told him as I warily backed away from him onto the bed. To my chagrin, tears started to well up in the corners of my eyes.

"Please, my lady," he said, as he held out his opened hand towards me in a gesture of peace. "I mean you no harm."

I looked deeply into his blue eyes and saw only sincerity. He meant me no harm. Besides, he did save my life! But, I can't believe he just said he was an elf! This is crazy…maybe it's a dream. This can't be real! Still, I answered him.

"My name is Shashuwan, Shashuwan Shane. So you are an… elf?" I asked as I tried to piece this all together in my brain. "There's no way you work for Santa!"

"I know of no Santa," he replied.

"Then where am I? There aren't any real elves on Earth. Does that mean I am no longer…no longer…" I stopped in mid-sentence and rested my head in my hands, unable to comprehend what was going on in my mind? My dreams? My imagination? My reality?

"Please just send me home. I want to go home!" I looked up at him with tear filled eyes and pleaded with him to send me back.

.

He looked at me with concern and did not know what to say, "I am sorry but I have no control over things like that."

I closed my eyes tightly and winced at the pain, cascaded through my brain. A slight moan escaped my lips as my palms flew to my temples to try and control the pain.

"What is wrong? Are you in pain?"

"Yes, my head is pounding again. It feels as if it will split open."

"Please lay back down. I will get Lady Galadriel." He left immediately.

As I lay there, I learned the true meaning of the phrase, "The spirit may be willing, but the flesh is weak." I made up my mind that I was going to leave. I couldn't stay in this place, wherever it was located. My head spun as I sat up, but I was determined nothing was going to stop me. But the pain, it was too great. I almost fell over, but I managed to catch myself and lay back down. I shivered from the effort. I dragged the comforter up over my body and prayed the pain would subside. It seemed like a few seconds later and strangers entered my room!

"Well it seems that our guest is awake." Galadriel said.

As they entered the room, I looked at them with utter disbelief. I must be dreaming. But, I wasn't dreaming. Something inside of me knew this was really happening.

"The wound on your head was quite deep, but was deftly stitched by Lord Elrond. Head injuries can bleed extensively, so we were quite concerned about the amount of blood you lost."

I knew of what she spoke of and I trusted her, but it all still felt unreal.

"This cannot be happening to me, I must be delusional or something. You really are elves?" The woman stepped forward and sat in the chair that was next to my bed and introduced herself and her two companions.

"Hello, my dear, I'm Lady Galadriel of Lothlorien. This is my husband, Lord Celeborn. She continued as she pointed to the dark haired man or elf or whatever**…** "This is Lord Elrond of Rivendell."

They bowed and all I could say was, "No, this…this is not happening. I'm in my bed at the cabin having a really bad dream right?" I tried to sit up again and the room swam around me.

"Ohhhh, my head hurts so badly, can you please give me something? Please! I can't stand this pain in my head."

"Of course we want to help you," Galadriel said in a soothing voice, "Just lie back and rest. There will be time to explain everything to you later."

I lay there holding my head the pain was more than I can bear. The Lady in White gently touched the bandage and a small portion of the pain receded. Still, tears came to my eyes when I realized my injury was worse than what I had originally thought. Not only was I suffering from a concussion, but severe blood loss as well.

At that moment, I started to tremble and I could not seem to focus clearly. I finally realized that I was not in my cabin and I was not having a bad dream. Even with all the bizarre things and people that surrounded m, I somehow knew this was real. "I want to go home now please may I go home! Please let me go?"

Lord Elrond slowly approached me; "You must not get upset."

"**No! Stop! Please don't come any closer!**" I cried, almost hysterically, as I jerked away from his touch. The dark haired man took a step backwards and raised his hands calmly, as if to say, "I will honor your request and will not touch you."

"They are only here to help you, to heal you," she calmly said.

"I don't know any of you! Just let me go home?" I pleaded.

Galadriel expression clearly told me she knew that something else was going on and I was too upset to continue any discussion.

Lord Celeborn tried to assure me, "If it makes you feel better we will leave." With a sincere look of compassion in his eyes he told me, "We mean you no harm, Lady Shashuwan."

After Lord Celeborn and Lord Elrond left I took some deep breathes and felt a little better. But I was having problems with the fact that I was no longer in the woods just off my backyard.

"Lady Galadriel, I want to go home, please?"

"I bought you here for a reason Lady Shashuwan which I will tell you when you are better and here in Lothlorien we are all elves."

"You brought me here? This isn't some bizarre cosmic accident? I don't understand any of this?"

"This can't be happening!" I muttered to myself. "I must have a more serious head injury than what I thought. Maybe if I were to get some more rest I won't be so confused. I looked up to the Lady and said, " I don't understand why I am here, why couldn't you leave me where I was?"

"We will answer your questions tomorrow, but right now you need to rest."

"I guess I have no choice in much of anything seeing that you have decided to not only interrupt my life but take me from it." I said without very much grace.

"Is there something that you need?" Galadriel asked kindly, when she saw how I looked around the room.

"Could you tell me how long I have been here? And there was a man, I mean, elf that was here when I awoke. He saved my life and I would like to thank him for his help. I think he said his name was Haldir."

"Yes, you have been here four days now. I will send for Haldir. Is there anything else that you need?"

"Lady Galadriel, do you have anything for my headache please?"

"Of course, Lyndia is preparing a stronger herbal tea it will help with the pain and allow you to rest."

"Lady Galadriel, I don't want you to think that I seem ungrateful, please realize, I just don't understand what is going on…"

"I know you are frightened and all of this is very strange but believe me when I say we are here to help you and nothing more. I will send for Haldir, I know he has not left for the Northern Borders and Lyndia will also bring your tea."

After she left, I took several deep breaths and managed to get out of bed again. I leaned on the furniture around the room for support. I wanted to see this place, this Lothlorien. I slowly walked to the balcony and what I saw was simply breathtaking. The skies were blue as the waters of the Bahamas. The trees were simply enormous, but more than that, they were sliver colored! In some of the trees there were houses, and elevated walkways between the trees and homes. I was astonished, when I saw all of this! I could have stood there for hours, but I was fatigued and returned to bed. I thought I might of had one of my migraines, but this seemed to be the after affects of a fairly severe concussion.  
As soon as I sat down there was a knock on my door. "Who is it?"

"It is Haldir, you asked for me?"

I got in bed, pulling the covers over me. "Come in."

Haldir walked over to my bed. "Is there anything that you need Lady Shashuwan? Lady Galadriel said that you requested to see me?"

"Yes, I wanted to thank you for rescuing me."

"You do not have to thank me."

"Yes I do!" I replied with certainty. "If you hadn't come found me, I don't know what would have happened."

"Were you headed back there this evening?" I asked him, not quite sure what to converse about now.

"I planned to return to my outpost at the Northern Borders tonight or tomorrow. I await word from Lady Galadriel," he informed me.

"Well…I..I wanted to ask a favor of you?"

"You are a guest of The Lady of the Woods. All you need do is ask."

He was so attentive and sincere he had an unexpected, almost hidden warmth about him. You could tell by the he moved that he had all the confidence in the world.

"I know that this might sound strange or silly, but… will you please stay with me till I fall asleep?"

Just then there was a knock at my door. "Who is it?"

"It is I Lyndia with your tea."

I started to get up but Haldir motioned for me to stay and got the door for me.

"Marchwarden, excuse me I did not know you were here."

"Thank you, I will take it to her." He said, taking the pro-offered cup. He quietly closed the door as Lyndia turned and headed away.

"Yes, Lady Shashuwan, I will stay as you requested." He smiled as he sat down in the chair next my bed.

"But please drink your tea before it gets cold." He handed me the delicate teacup and I drank from it. He sat there watching me.

"Well Haldir," I questioned as I tried to start a conversation,. "Are you a guard or servant or do you hold some other position here?"

He looked at me as if I had offended him. Immediately I apologized. "Please forgive me, I did not mean to upset you."

"Apology accepted," he replied somewhat tersely. "I am the Marchwarden of Lothlorien and the Captain of Lady Galadriel's Guard."

He was obviously very proud of his position. "What is a Marchwarden?"

"I am protector of Lothlorien. No one enters the Realm of Lothlorien unless I allow them to cross our borders. I serve my Lord and The Lady of Light."

"That is quite a responsibility for one person and Captain of the Lady Galadriel's Guard. Please forgive my earlier ignorance, Marchwarden Haldir."

_I don't know why, but I feel very safe with him. I have not felt this way with any man since I was raped, but he is not a man, he is an elf. Why do I feel this way towards him maybe it simply has to do with it was him who found me, took care of me? "Damn, Shashuwan," I told myself, "he is not even your own kind, he is an elf. So forget it."_

The tea made me very sleepy that I almost dropped the cup, but Haldir caught it before it hit the floor. "I don't know what is in that tea," I told Haldir groggily, "but my head is spinning. Is that normal?"

"Don't worry, my lady, it will help you relax and when you wake up you will feel much better, I promise."

I laid down on my side facing him. "Thank you for staying with me."

He looked into my eyes and said, "You don't have to thank me Lady Shashuwan."

And those were the last words I heard.

For the first time in months, I had a peaceful night. As I slept, my dreams were restful and clear. No black images haunted my dreams, no beatings and no crying. What a joy to have a restful night's sleep!

"_I do not understand why I am so drawn to her. She is so beautiful in her own way. I will have to think more on this," _he thought as he stretched in his chair by my bedside before he drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I expected to be in my cabin but I was not. When I opened my eyes I knew I was still in Lothlorien. I didn't expect to see Haldir, but he was here in the chair. I sat up in bed and looked over at him a bit more intently. His eyes were open and for a minute I thought there was something wrong with him; but then he took calm breaths in and out. I could not believe he was actually sleeping like that! His eyes seemed to be glazed over. But he was still incredibly handsome with long silver blonde hair, strong facial features and lovely pronounced nose. This was a first for me. I had not been this close to a man since my ordeal with James. I was nervous, but I was very curious about him too.

I sat there looking at him while he slept and I could not resist, I had to touch his hands. I lightly traced my fingertips over his relaxed hands. They felt so strong, yet felt gentle when he brought me here. I looked at him again, even closer this time. I must admit that I was most interested in his delicately curved shell-like ears. I eased my way out of bed to get a closer look at his ears. I felt like I couldn't help myself. I ever so gently ran my finger along the tip of one of his ears and he gave out a slight moan. It was a sexy moan and at that moment he turned and closed his eyes and opened them. They were no longer dull but very beautiful and full of life. He asked me in a slightly husky voice

"Lady Sha..shu..wan Shane, do I fascinate you that much?"

He startled me and I jumped back and almost fell. But he caught my arm just in time. He held me in his arms, which made me very uncomfortable. "Please, let me go. I'm fine," I told him, taking a small step backwards.

He said, "Do I make you uncomfortable? I did not want you to fall that is all."

"No, you do not make me uncomfortable. I was just curious about you. I've never seen an elf before."

He smiled and took my breath away. "Are you pleased with what you see?" Now that was arrogant. He protectively placed a steadying arm around my waist.

I slowly stepped back from him. "Yes Haldir. You are pleasing to look at, but I think you already know that. "

"Would you like your robe?"

"Yes, thank you." He grasped it from the end of the bed and helped me slip it on. As soon as I had it on, I pulled it tightly closed and tied it firmly with the belt. He gently placed his arm around my waist and led me over to a beautiful light colored square table with two high back chairs that sat against a wall close to the balcony doors.

"Please sit down and take your ease," Haldir said, as he tried to help me settle my mind and my nerves. He moved his chair closer to mine so we could talk considering it was just the two of use.

"Thank you Haldir. I'm a doctor. I know the symptoms of someone who has had a concussion."

"Your handmaiden emptied your bags. I hope you don't mind and a doctor, what is a doctor?" he asked

As I sat, he asked me again, "What is a doctor?"

"Don't you have doctors here, or maybe you would call them healers?"

"Yes, we have healers. Is that the same as a doctor?"

"Yes, with some slight differences, I'm sure. But I mostly work with children and I have my own practice."

Now he gave me a very strange look, "Your own practice? What is that?"

"It is where I see my patients or where the children and their parents come and see me."

"It sounds very interesting I would like to hear more."

"I would be more than happy to tell you more on one condition."

"And what would that be Lady Sha…shu…wan Shane?" He gave me that broad smile that made me feel like a schoolgirl.

"First call me Shash and later could you please tell me more about the elves and being a Marchwarden." "Shash, I would like to know more of your life as a doctor and your homeland."

Just then there was a knock at the door and he went to answer it. There was a lovely woman at the door. He introduced us.

"Shash this is your handmaiden Lyndia. Lyndia, this is Lady Shashuwan."

"Good morning, Lady Shashuwan. I trust you found everything that was in your bags stored away safely?" I hadn't checked anything out yet, but I nodded my head and smiled to thank her for her efforts.

She had our breakfast with her. She set the tray in the middle of the table in front of us? "If you should ever need anything, please just send for me and I will come right away."

"Yes," I said, "and thank you for everything."

Haldir told her to let the Lady Galadriel know that I was awake.

"Yes, Marchwarden," she nodded and left.

I glanced over at the tray of food she brought and realized how hungry I was! There were two plates of eggs, sausage I think, bread, and a pot of tea. Haldir sat down beside me and ate also. The whole time he ate he did not take his eyes off me. I tried not to notice but it was hard to ignore him. So finally I asked him.

"Is there something wrong Haldir?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You keep staring is there something wrong with me?"

"You are beautiful for a mortal and your eyes…I've never seen eyes such as yours?"

"For a mortal? Wow that makes me feel really good Haldir, but thank you anyway. You are quite handsome yourself."

"Well thank you Shash. Please forgive me for staring, but you are so different from any woman I have seen before - mortal or elf."

"What do you mean like me? I'm sure there are plenty of elf woman around here, Haldir and they are probably all much better looking than I am. Just look at Lyndia. She is truly beautiful."

"Yes, she is a beautiful elleth but, you are different, especially how your eyes reflect the color of the sun. They are truly unique."

He touched my hand, but I gently pulled it away. He seemed confused and I could see it on his face. Haldir looked at me strangely and said, "Shashuwan, are you all right? I can feel something is bothering you."

"No, I … I mean there is but it is personal."

He stood and said, "I'm sorry if my touch offended you, it won't happen again."

He turned to leave I jumped up out of my chair to stop him but realized I had moved to quickly and was very dizzy. "Haldir! Stop, please?"

He stopped and turned and came to my side to help me he gently placed his arm around me and helped me to my chair.

"Haldir no, that is not it. Please don't be upset! You just caught me off guard, so don't ever think that your touch offends me. Your touch is a comfort to me."

He gave me a brief nod and smiled, "Thank you."

"Will you please stay and finish your tea with me please?" He gently took my hand and kissed it, he looked at me and said, "Anything for you Shash." He returned to his seat and poured more tea in his cup to warm it up.

We finished our tea in companionable silence expect for every now and then he caught me staring at him as he was doing the same, sometimes our eyes meet and we just smiled at each other.

He finished his tea and stood, "Shash, I am sorry but I must leave I have some duties that I must attend to but I will return if I can to sit by your side if you don't mind?"

I started to stand but he motioned for me not to, "I would welcome that thank you."

He gave me that beautiful broad smile gave me a slight bow and left my room. I don't know why but I was missing him already, soon after he had left, Galadriel walked in and Lyndia followed she removed our dishes and left. Galadriel sat across from me.

"What happened between you and Haldir?" She asked with concern.

"Nothing happened. Why? Did he say something?"

"No, he seemed worried about you."

I sighed, and looked at her. "It was nothing."

"The same way you were with Lord Celeborn and Lord Elrond was that nothing?"

"Yes, there is a big difference. He rescued me, I trust him. Lady Galadriel, believe me when I say trust does not come easily for me with anyone."

I stood at the breakfast table and walked over to the bed. I sank down onto the edge of it. That is when I felt a strange sensation inside my head. My brow furrowed as I looked up at The Lady. "_Is she seriously trying to read my thoughts_?"

I sharply pushed her out. She looked surprised when I did it. I looked at her in disbelief and said, "Please don't ever do that again!"

Surprised that I as able to keep her from reading my thoughts, she asked, "Shashuwan please forgive my intrusion. I was only trying to get a sense of your feelings and concerns."

"This is a rare and special gift, Shashuwan. You have a talent that only elves possess. Have you ever wondered how or why you possess this gift?"

I looked at her and said, "I don't know how I have this so called gift. I first noticed it when I was about 7 years old. When it started, I thought I was crazy. I never told anyone but my parents and my best friend. Besides, whenever I tried to use it I would get terrible headaches, and the medicine the doctor gave me for the pain was strong enough to block it sometimes. It's not something I choose to share with others or use at all!"

"I can help you develop what you have so that you no longer have this pain. You should not waste what you have. You can learn from it, be proud of it."

"I will think about it," I replied with a slight amount of concern.

Then I turned my mind to what was really concerning me. "Lady Galadriel, tell me why am I here? I understand that you took care of me when I was brought here and I will always be thankful for that, you saved my life. But I need to know why I am here?"

"Yes, I brought you here to help you learn about what is missing in your life Shashuwan Shane it is time for you to learn the truth about your past. If we had left you alone in your world, you would have died a few nights ago. That would have been a great loss to both of our worlds. "

Standing up I looked at her with anger in my eyes, "What do you mean I would have died and what do you know of my past! Either you tell me or you can return me to my own time!"

She smiled and said, "I possess a long memory, Shashuwan, I remember the past of my people and I also have the gift of foresight of looking into the future. But, not all of what I see comes to pass. What you would learn depends on you and what your desires are."

"My desires, that's rich." I scoffed. "I haven't had any desires for a quite awhile now. All I know is my work. I don't think I know the true meaning of love and desire anymore."

"Why would you say that, my child?"

"Something happened to me that changed my life forever. I believed in love at one time, but I don't anymore. Someone whom was close to me at one time ripped all that away from me and scarred me for the rest of my life." Galadriel sat there in thought.

I asked, "Lady Galadriel what is this part of me that I know nothing about?"

"I will save it for another time, Shashuwan."

I got up and walked out on to the balcony, a bit frustrated. I do not like intrigue or mysteries! I paused a moment, then looked at her and said, "Why were you haunting my dreams and who was the man that was with you? I know it was you."

Galadriel looked at me funny this time. "What do you mean?"

"I know that you've not only been trying to get into my head, but you've been watching me also, haven't you?"

She was not totally surprised having discovered my other abilities earlier; but was taken a little back by what I had said.

"Who else has been watching me?"

"It was Lord Elrond and I? No ? HERE, but rather a period. We have only done so out of deep concern and care for you. We did not mean to make you uncomfortable and if you were thinking it was Haldir, he has no idea why you are here. All he knows is what he was told to get you and bring you here. He is concerned about you."

I smiled and said, "I could tell. But you have to understand Lady Galadriel, I'm going through some serious personal problems and right now I can't even think about anyone right now until I can confront my own personal demons".

This time I invited her into my thoughts. "Shashuwan, you seem to think that you are not good enough for anyone, why is that? Why would you think that?"

I closed my eyes thinking of the rape and took a deep breath as I looked out over Lothlorien. "Lady Galadriel what I went through in the past six months was life changing and I don't know how to begin to tell anyone about it but when I'm ready I will tell you I promise."

"_You have so much to give. In your own time you will discover this," _Galadriel thought.

I turned and looked at her. "Why don't you know what is going on inside of me? Since you can read peoples thoughts, why can't you read mine?"

Galadriel walked over to me and looked in to my eyes. "Because whatever it was that happened to you has devastated your life is working against you for some time now. You have managed to block me out and that is a rare talent. And until you deal with it, you will never be able to accept what I have to tell you."

She kissed me tenderly on the forehead. "Please believe Shashuwan, that there is nothing you can not tell me. You can find peace here. All you have to do is be honest with yourself and let yourself heal on the inside."

I turned and walked over to the railing and saw Haldir talking to Lord Celeborn. Haldir looked so handsome, so strong. Even though I hardly knew him, I felt a great sadness with in him.

"Lady Galadriel, why is he so sad?"

"Don't you know?"  
"I sense it, but no I have not been inside of his head. I don't do that to other people and only if he'll allow me. You know. Please tell me."

"I think that is something the two of you will need to tell each other, if you will let it get that far." She turned to leave. "I thought you would like to take a hot bath."

"Yes, I would. Thank you."

"I will send Lyndia in to prepare it for you."

I watched her as she left my room. I had to admit as I talked to her, she reminded me of my father. Maybe that was a good sign, I don't know, but something good had to come out of this mess that I now call my life. But most importantly she can help me with what is missing or at least help me to realize what it is. Right now it all seems to be a jumble of confusion.

I walked back out to the balcony to take another look at Lothlorien and I say Haldir but this time he was talking with two other elves that looked very familiar to me. I was very curious about what they were talking about, it seemed as if they were teasing him I did the unthinkable and listened.

The two elves followed Haldir around. As they spoke, I overheard part of the conversation.

"So dear brother it seems you are spending a lot of time with the mortal woman we found in the woods? Over four days ago…"

"You know I do what the Lady Galadriel asks of me always. So why question now?"

The two elves looked at each other then Haldir, "Really? You never miss breaking in the new recruits and giving that long boring speech of yours."

The other elf who stood next to the first cut right in on the conversation, "Haldir, what is with this mortal woman that has you sitting by her side? It is not like you to do something like this, especially for a mortal_. _So tell us dear brother why must you be at this woman side every day, besides I am tired of doing your duties."

Haldir seemed a little more than upset with them, "You know that I owe you no explanations of what I do when I am doing what the Lady Galadriel ask of me and as for Shashuwan, that is clearly none of your concern." He turned to leave them but they were not giving up so easily and ran to catch up with him blocking his way.

"Oh no, you are not getting away that easily Haldir, we are your brothers please tell us what is going on?"

I could not help myself but smiled that they were so persistent. I could tell that the three of them were very close, so eventually he did give in to them. "Yes, she is beautiful for a mortal. And yes there is something that holds me to her, makes me want to protect her and keep her safe. I do not understand any of this but I must be there for her. That is all I will say."

They both looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders, "Brother we will respect your wishes but please be careful, we are just concerned about you as always."

He smiled, "Thank you Orophin, Rumil as always I will guard my heart."

They clasped arms and his brothers left. Haldir sat down to go over some papers that they had given him. I felt very guilt for listening the way I did and I will probably regret it. But it was nice to know that there was someone whom felt very protective of me. That gave me the greatest feeling in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3~

My conversation with Lady Galadriel left me feeling uneasy. I didn't know what to think about being in a "magical" land meeting such noble people and how she could help me.

All I knew was that I wanted to go home more than anything yet something deep inside of me wanted to believe that she could help. I didn't know what was really going on, but, I was still on my vacation, so I would try to make the best of it. As for the conversation that I heard between Haldir and his brothers, it was sweet but I felt very guilty that I listened in the way I did.

While Lyndia was preparing my bath, I found my things in a dresser all neatly put away. I don't know why, but I picked up my cell phone hoping by some weird chance it would work, but there was nothing there. But, my CD player with the little speakers did work and I was very happy for that, at least I could listen to some music. For once I was glad for my slight obsession about always having spare batteries for all my electronics! I know it might seem strange that I thought so fondly of my little CD player, but I thought it might in some way help anchor my sanity in all this craziness.

Lyndia stepped out of the bathroom, "Lady Shashuwan your bath is ready."

It was a beautiful bathroom with a white marble vanity and a beautiful clawfoot tub. It was so deep you had to use a step stool to get in it; there was even a long mirror of sorts**.** I never expected anything like this and Katara would have loved it.

Lyndia asked, "Is there something wrong with the room?"

"No, it's breathtaking."

"Would you like for me to stay?"

"No, that's alright I need some time to myself but thank you for asking."

"As you wish, if you need anything please just send for me there is a guard right outside of your door." She left the bathroom and closed the door behind her**.** I took my robe and gown off and turned so I could see my back in the mirror. The scars were so ugly as they criss-crossed my lower back. Then it hit me that Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn and Lord Elrond had seen the scars. My heart dropped, but I appreciated the fact that they were all polite enough not to press the issue.

I gingerly stepped into the perfectly warmed tub and I felt so relaxed. I descended further into the water and allowed it to cover me completely. The warmth of the water soothed my mind and body. Just then there was a knock at my door.

"Yes who is it?"

"It is Lyndia I have oils and herbs for your hair." She came in and put them on the low table near the tub.

"I thought you might like this for your hair."

"Thank you. It smells beautiful."

"Again if you need anything…."

"I know just send for you," I said with a smile. I figured I should be a little warmer towards Lyndia, after all she doing her best to make me comfortable. "Lyndia, please forgive meif I have seemed rude at all. Thank you again for everything."

_I did not know how old she was, but from the way she carried herself she seemed more like a mother figure, than a sister. She had long silver blond hair, a little darker than Haldir's, and her eyes are gray. And like all the elves I have seen here, she was beautiful. I was happy to finally be alone to enjoy some quiet time. I washed my hair with what she had given me and when I was finished I just laid back enjoyed the heat from the bath and the peace. _

_Well, Katara will never believe where I am, I can just imagine our conversation; "And by the way Katara I was never at the cabin in the woods I was in Lothlorien". She would think I was nuts and have me committed without a second thought. The bath was so soothing that I fell asleep and dreamed of Haldir. That is what woke me up. Just as I was getting out of tub there was a knock at the door. I wrapped the towel around me and went to answer the door. "Who could this be now? Do these elves ever believe in alone time around here?" I thought, as I made my way to the door._

"Who is it?"

"It is I Haldir."

"Humm... Can you give me one minute, please?"

"As you wish Shash."

He didn't sound very pleased about the wait. I ran into the bathroom dried off quickly and put my robe on and let him in.

"Hello, Haldir I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but I had just gotten out of the tub."

"If you had told me I would have come back later**." **He arched an eyebrow and smiled. He reached over and gently pulled a couple of strands of wet hair out of my face.

"Haldir what is wrong? Is there something on me?" Just as I said that I looked down and realized my robe was wet from my hair and clung to my skin, leaving little to the imagination.

"Geez, please wait here while I change?"

With a slightly raised eyebrow, he nodded. I quickly grabbed my night gown and a clean robe from the bed. I went into the bathroom to change and wrapped a towel around my head.

"I hope I wasn't too long? Did you need something? I thought I would not see you until this evening, has something changed?"

"No, you were not long at all and nothing has changed. While I was out taking care of my duties I realized that you have been in this bedroom for four days and I thought you might like a tour of Lothlorien - that is if you feel up to it."

"Well…" I stammered. Just then Lady Galadriel's voice popped in my head and gently requested, _"Please don't reject him, just give it a chance." _

_I responded, "I will, but I'm not ready for this at all."_

Unaware of The Lady's silent communication to me, Haldir simply asked,"Just a tour and maybe lunch."

"Ok, I accept the invitation Haldir. Thank you."

"I will return in one hour, is that enough time?"

"Maybe two, I need to give my hair time to dry and I promise to be ready."

He was headed for the door when he stopped. "As you wish can you ride a horse, Shash?"

"Yes, I have been riding since I was a child. It's one of my greatest joys."

"I will return in two hours." He bowed and quickly left my room.

I have to admit he is a very handsome elf and his brothers are handsome also but there is something about Haldir that makes you stop whatever you are doing and just watch him. He is definitely pleasing to the eye! My mind flitted on to more pressing things; like what do I wear when I am out with elf? I couldn't decide what to wear so I applied lotion to my arms, face and neck and went with my black jeans, red tee and my tennis shoes.

My hair was not dry so I opened my bedroom door so the breeze could come through the room. The air smelled wonderful! I put on Alicia Keys CD, slipped on my headphones, grabbed the towel and walked out on the balcony where I sat so the breeze could dry my hair. My hair smelled wonderful, the music was soothing and sun was warm.

I was trying to relax myself before Haldir returned but it just wasn't happening, not even Alicia could relax me. I started to sing along to the CD in a low voice just to myself wishing so many things had not happened in my life, wishing I had never left home. God how I wanted to go home! The more I thought about not being home the more upset I became. I tried to fight back the tears but I couldn't, I had to let them go. I have to admit the crying helped. I felt relaxed and just laid there with my eyes closed enjoying the music. I had no idea that Haldir had walked in, I didn't even know how long he was there, but I was startled when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Shashuwan, I did not mean to startle you. I did knock but there was no answer so I let myself in. Please forgive me. I enjoyed listening to you sing, you have a lovely voice, but you seem upset, why?" He was truly concerned about me. I could tell it from the soft tone in his voice. I was trying to wipe the tears from my face and force a smile.

"Haldir, I am just overwhelmed by everything. From what I have seen, Lorien is beautiful, but I miss being home." Quickly changing topics, I thanked him for the compliment regarding my singing. But, I thought I was singing quietly to myself. Elves must have super-sensitive hearing!

I went over to the table and sat down. I put the towel down and started to brush my hair. He sat down at the table and just stared at me. I stopped with the brush in mid-stroke and stared back. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," he said, I could tell he was worried about me. "Nothing, if you're not feeling well we can do this another time if you would like?"

I could not help but smile back and say "No, I need to get out and get some fresh air and sunshine." I stood up with resolve and said, "Okay! Show me Lothlorien."

He encircled me inspecting what I had on which made me a little uncomfortable. "Your clothing is very strange. I've never seen anything like it before."

"Well, this is all I have to wear for now. If you're not happy with it, I'll ask Lyndia if she has something more appropriate."

"No, will you be comfortable while riding?"

I looked a little strange at him, "Why do you ask?"

"Your clothing seems tight I did not want you to be uncomfortable."

"No, they are very comfortable but thank you for being concerned, Haldir. Did you still want me to change?"

"No, I like what you have chosen; it is pleasing to the eye." His smile was different this time one of more than just an interest in my clothing.

"Well, thank you for your approval, Marchwarden."

We left the room and walked down the hall, and he was telling me about the many pictures that lined the hall, about Lorien and its history. I had a hard time keeping up because he was so tall, he must have been at least 6 `3, and I was only 5'6.

"Haldir, excuse me, could you slow down just a little?"

"I'm sorry.**" **he replied, slowing his pace.

"Thank you."

We passed through huge double doors that led to a long winding staircase down to a beautiful courtyard. I was so busy looking around and did not pay any attention to my footing and I almost fell, but as usual Haldir was right there to help me.

"May I hold your hand till we are off the staircase?" he asked.

"Yes**?** Thank you."

When we reached the landing Lady Galadriel was waiting in the courtyard. "Lady Galadriel, we were just on our way out."

She smiled and said, "Enjoy, I took the liberty of having a lunch packed for you." She motioned for the elleth to hand me the basket and we said thank you.

She looked at me and said, "Enjoy the afternoon tour, Shashuwan, and remember what I said."

I looked at her and said, "Please don't pop in my head, ok?"

"I will respect your wishes."

She smiled at me as she turned and went up the staircase.

Outside, a horse was waiting. I looked up at Haldir. "I thought there would be two horses, Haldir?"

"The plans changed at the last minute. Several of the horses were needed at the border. I hope you don't mind?"

I looked at him a bit warily, "Um, ok."

An elf rode in on horseback to report to him of some news from the south border. I walked away so I could not hear since it was business. While he was talking, I kept thinking to myself, I'm not ready for this; he's just going to show you around and have a picnic lunch alone. Then it hit me - ALONE! Oh my God, I can't do this. I started to tremble and could not catch my breath. I had not noticed that he was watching me and he saw that I looked worried.

"Shashuwan, is there anything wrong?"

"No, I'm fine." I lied unconvincingly**.**

"But, you are trembling. Please, tell me what is wrong?"

I took a deep breath, shook off my nervousness. "It…It's nothing. I'm fine let's go." I thought to myself. _Just going on a tour of Lothlorien and a picnic lunch nothing more so calm down Shash no need to be a nervous wreck._ But, I have not been alone with any man since I was raped.

He mounted the horse, and then helped me up. I sat sideways on the horse in front of Haldir so that we could talk without either of us needing to turn around all the time. At first I thought I was going to be sick, but then the strangest thing happened.

"Shashuwan, you are trembling. I want to help you. Will you let me?"

"O…Ok."

"Close your eyes and concentrate on the sound of my voice."

He lightly brought his fingertips to my temples and said something in his language, that I didn't understand, but I felt more relaxed. When he was finished I felt so much better. "Thank you, Haldir."

As we rode through Lothlorien, he showed me everything, who was who, who did what. "Haldir, your people keep staring at me. Why is that**?" ****  
**  
"Very few humans ever pass the borders of Lothlorien." he said.

"Why is that?"

"Some humans are thought to bring evil with them and if they are permitted in they have to be blind folded."

"Blind folded is that to conceal Lothlorien so they will not remember the path?"

"Yes it is, to protect all that is good in Lothlorien."

I was a little taken back by what he said because I could not figure out why I was allowed to enter such a place as Lothlorien? Why me, what made me so special I thought of asking Haldir but he would not know I remember saying he does what "Lady Galadriel ask of him without question. So I decided to save that question for her.

"Where are the children?"

"They have lessons every day. Why do you ask?"

"I love children of all age that is my field. I'm a Pediatrician."

"Yes, I remember that you had told me that before. What if I got injured and needed your help, could you help me?"

I nodded my head, "Of course I could and would help you. It is just my profession to help children. But, believe me I would personally take care of you if you were hurt Haldir, because I'm a doctor that is what I do."

He gave me that smile again. And this time I noticed for the first time that his crystal blue eyes sparkled.

"Did you know that when you smile your eyes sparkle?"

"No, I did not. Maybe it is because of you, Shashuwan?"

This time I blushed and I felt my cheeks and my ears get red. In my embarrassment, I glanced away from Haldir to take in more of the amazing surroundings. Everything was so beautiful in Lothlorien; the architecture was nothing like I have ever seen, the talans that are built in the silver mallorn trees are magnificent. I would not mind living in the trees here. While we were riding I felt his hand gently caressing my back. It gave me chills just to have him that close to me,but for some reason I wasn't afraid of Haldir, like I had been of other men, since what had happened?

When we finally reached our destination, I saw a beautiful lake with a waterfall. It was breathtaking. I had no idea that a place this lovely ever existed. He dismounted and took the basket and placed it on the ground, then helped me off the horse. He held me around the waist so that I was face-to-face with him I was scared and excited all at the same time. I asked him. "Please. Put me down, please?"

He just didn't put me down. He let me slide down the front of him very slowly, his hands still around my waist. He was so confident and sure of himself. I wish I were like that again.

When my feet touched the ground, I pulled at the bottom of my shirt to fix it and managed to stutter, "Thank you." I turned and looked. I just stood there in awe; it brought me to tears. I walked closer to the lake and the water was so clear you could see the bottom. The lake looked as if it were maybe 30 feet deep the bottom was rocky with little pebbles on the bottom. The fish were like nothing that I have ever seen some were orange, red and gold. The longest was maybe a foot and a half. This spot was breathtaking!

He approached me from behind and said, "Do you like what you see?"

"Yes, Haldir this is simply beautiful thank you for bringing me here."

"Please, come let us eat lunch." He had spread the blanket out under a huge beautiful silver tree and we sat down to have lunch.

"Haldir, whose idea was it to bring me out here?"

"Lady Galadriel. She thought that it would make you more relaxed."

"Oh really, and you had nothing to do with it?"

"I offered to take you on the tour of Lothlorien, the lunch was her idea and this particular place, is where I come to think and be alone."

I cocked one eyebrow and tilted my head and said, "And you have never brought anyone here before?"

"Shashuwan, you are the only person that has ever been out here with me."

"Haldir, please just call me Shash and thank you for sharing your private spot with me."

"Shash, now you have seen my home could you please tell me more about yours?"

Oh man, I'm not ready for this yet! "I will, but first tell me about being an elf. Please?"_**  
**_

He gave me that warm smile which makes me think about how attractive he is.

"What is it that you wish to know, Shash?"

"Well everything start with how old are you?"

"Hummm my age, I am over 4,000 years old."

I sat there in shock, "You are what? You can't be that old? Are you trying to make a joke or foolof me, Haldir?"

"Elves are immortal."

"Immortal? You don't age at all? This is unheard of please explain."

"We age but very slowly but we can past on, if we are hurt and cannot heal ourselves or be healed by a healer."

"What do you mean heal yourself?"

"If we are hurt for whatever reason we would only need our wounds to be cleaned, stitched and bandaged, then we would put ourselves in to a deep sleep so we can heal our wounds."

"Are you serious that is amazing? How long does this take?"

"Sometimes one night of uninterrupted sleep, but if it is a serious wound, it would take longer and we would need the warmth of another to keep us warm."

"Because you are concentrating all of your energy on healing yourself, correct?"

"Yes, that is right Shash."

"And the healers help with the more serious injuries, such as resetting broken bones, internal injuries or serious poisons?"

He looked at me, "You must be a great Doctor Shashuwan."

"I would not say great, let us say that I know what I am doing. What else makes elves so different from mere mortals such as me?"

"We can see better in the dark and our sense of hearing is very sensitive."

"So while I slept you were actually watching over me weren't you?

"Yes, my eyes never left sight of you."

"Okay Haldir," I said with a smile, "Do you mean to tell me that if I were to walk over towards the noisy part of the waterfall you would hear what I was saying?"

"Yes," he responded with an amused grin, "I would hear everything you would say."

I looked at him raising my own eyebrow and gave him a small smile. I stood up and walked over towards the falls where it was at its loudest it was about 40 feet away from him and I stopped. And in my softest voice I said, "I am so fortunate to have met you Haldir, I am happy that it was you whom found me in the woods. And thank you for making me feel safe."

I walked back over towards him and sat across from him, "So Haldir what did I say?"

"I am fortunate to have met you, Shash and I would have had no one else find you but me, it warms my heart that I make you feel safe, Shashuwan." He gently reached for my hand and kissed my palm and his eyes never left mine. After he kissed my palm I closed my hand as if to keep his kiss from leaving and held it against my chest.

"I don't know what to say Haldir, thank you.

After a quiet moment or two, I again questioned him, "Is there any other difference between you and mortals that I should know?"

"Our strength is different from mortal men."

"And how is that, my Marchwarden?"

He stood and without little effort gracefully leaped onto the tree limb closest to us, I stood up watching him leap from limb to limb till I lost sight of him.

"Haldir, Haldir! Where are you please come down?" I felt a soft touch up on my shoulder which startled me.

"That is amazing I didn't even hear you, elves are simply amazing. I have never seen such virility and athleticism in my life. But I have one more question, well two."

"Yes Shash, please ask."

"Why do you sleep with your eyes open?"

"Elves do not require a lot of sleep, the only time we would close our eyes is for healing ourselves or from extreme exhaustion, but other than that, our eyes rarely close."

"That is so strange

"It seemed so strange when I woke and you were sitting there like that. I thought something was wrong with you. Now I realize that it will just take some time getting use to seeing you and others do that."

"And your other question, Shash?"

I looked at him and smiled a little bashful smile, "When I gently traced your ear with my finger you seemed to like that?"

"Yes, I did," He turned his head away from me and smiled, "Our ears are very sensitive to any kind of touch, Shash."

He kept his head averted, never really looked at me when he said that. I smiled, "So it is very enticing like foreplay? Kissing, hugging and touching?"

He returned his gaze to me and gave a little chuckle. "Yes, it is very much like that Shash. Now that you know about elves please tell me about you?"

"Well," I thought to myself, "turnabout is fair play. I can't put this off any longer."

"Me, well I assure that my life is nothing compared to yours, I think it's safe to say you are older than I am!" Then I took a small swallow. "My parents died when I was 14 and my Aunt Cloie,moved into my parents' house and raised me." I smiled. "I'm an only child, but I had two good friends that I played with all the time. They were like brother and sister, Katara and James. But so much has happened to me…to me…he was like a…brother to me…and he he hurt me."

I don't know what happened but when I said his name it was too much for me, my head started spinning and I kept saying "**He did this to me, why did he do this to me, why!"**

Haldir ran over towards me trying to get me to calm down, **"Shashuwan, please what is wrong what did he do to you, tell me!"**

"**No, no don't hurt me please NO STOP PLEASE!"**

Haldir was beside himself worry he was trying to get through to me, "Shashuwan it is me Haldir, tell me what did he do to you?" Finally he took me his arms and just held me, I was beside myself with fear and anger then he gently tilted my face to his until I looked into his clear blue eyes I recognized him and relaxed in his arms and cried without ceasing. My legs slowly gave way beneath me, Haldir lifted me in his arms went over to the blanket and sat down with me never letting go of me.

"Shash, please tell me what happened please I want to help you, protect you, please tell me," His voice was soft soothing to my ears and full of concern.

I slowly lifted my head from his shoulder trying to pull myself together, he gently wiped the tears from my face, he was so worried about me, and Icould tell by the way he was so gentle with me.

"Haldir, I..I am sorry, please forgive me." I tried to hold it together but my voice trembled so much.

"Forgive you for what? What did this James do to you?"

I turned my face from him, "He raped me! The man that I grew up with and thought of as a brother raped and beat me. He scared me for life and to this day I still don't understand why, Haldir why would he do that, why?"

My eyes filled up with tears again. I stood up and walked over to the lake and tried to pull myself together.

"Shashuwan, I don't know why he would do such a thing to you?" I felt his hands on my arms as he gently turned me around to face him. "You're trembling." he said, as he pulled me closer to himself. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

I hated that my voice trembled so. I didn't want to ask, but I needed it so bad, "Will you please just hold me, and make me feel safe?"

He smiled, gently held my hand and led me back over to the blanket. He sat and leaned back against the tree. I sat down next to him and he gently pulled me close to him, he held me for what seemed an eternity. After I had lain there in his arms my trembling stopped my breathing was under control, I sat up and looked at him and smiled. I said, "Thank you."

"Thank you for what, Shash?"

"For holding me, for being there for me, it has been awhile since I, have felt safe...since I have been close to anyone."

"Shashuwan you do not have to thank me, I am here with you because I want to be."

I smiled at him, "Then you are my "Guardian Angel"?

"I will be your Guardian Angel always." he answered as he smiled down at me. We sat there for a while longer. Then as I came back to myself I thought, Haldir probably has something more important to do that sit here listening to me crying…"

"Do you have to return now, Haldir?"

"No, I have a little more time, why do you ask?"

"I don't want to leave this place, I understand why you come here to be alone it is peaceful. How often do you come here?"

"As often as I can."

"Haldir, I want to apologize for what happened…."

"Shash, you don't have to do that."

"Haldir please let me finish."

"As you wish, continue."

"I never meant for you to find out what happened to me this way! I was going to tell you but it just poured out of me," I smiled at him sheepishly. "I feel so much better being here with you, I believe in my heart that I can trust you."

I laid my head on his shoulder and kissed him on his check. He smiled and chuckled a little.

I sat up and asked, "What is so funny, Haldir?"

"It has been a long time since I have had a kiss on the cheek, thank you it was very sweet, Shashuwan." I leaned over and got an orange and starting peeling it. "Would you like some?"

"Yes, thank you," he replied with an incline of his head and a small smile.

I finished peeling the fruit and pulled it apart and gave him some. The whole time he ate he never took his eyes off me. I tried to act like I didn't notice, but I could not stop blushing the whole time.

"Why are you blushing?"

"I'm not used to having a man, I mean elf stare at me that's all."

"Well, you should get use to it; you are pleasing to the eyes."

I looked at him in disbelief. "I am? Why would you say that? You are surrounded by beautiful elleths every day."

"Well, for one the color of your skin , your lips and your skin is soft to the touch." He gently ran his hand down my arm which gave me chills.

"The color of my skin, what do you mean Haldir?"

He laughed and shook his head. "If you have noticed the elleths here are pale skinned and your skin is beautiful as the color of leaves falling from the trees as sign of fall, everything about you is pleasing to my eyes. Your lips... I have never seen such full lips before...

He was so close to kissing me. I wanted to but I could not. I looked away from him and said, "Well maybe we should return."

"I thought you were not ready to return?"

"After all that has happened I am a little tired now, if you don't mind?"

He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on my brow. I stood up and so did he, deep inside I knew I was feeling something for him, but it was just not the right time and he knew it. After all, we had really only just met a few days ago…

"Haldir, I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the tour and the picnic lunch, I have just revealed to you what happened to me and I need to be alone, do you understand?"

"Whatever it takes, I cannot imagine the toll it has taken on your mind and soul but I will be here waiting for you."

"You will be waiting for me? I like the sound of that."

"We should return now. I have responsibilities I must see to before dinner this evening."

We gathered up the basket and blanket. I mounted the horse first then he sat behind me. He gave the reins to me, my back was to his front and he moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could not tell you why I let him get as close as he did, but being with him was different from being with a man. Everything was different, the way he talked to me, and the way he touched me, even the way he held me. To my own amazement I was letting him elf hold me, touch me but he was no man, he is an elf.

I gave the horse a little kick, and we were on our way. It was a lovely ride back. Everything seemed so different now, I even felt different. It seemed like we were back at the Lord and Lady's talan in a very short time, but it must have been much longer. We had just cleared the path into the courtyard; he dismounted and helped me off the horse.

"Haldir, I want to thank you again for a lovely afternoon. I really enjoyed it, and I hope that we can do it again."

"It was the best afternoon I have had in awhile, thank you Shash." He walked closer to me, took my hand in his and kissed it. I gently touched the side of his face with the edge of my hand. While it was a slight touch, I almost felt like I would pass out!

Just then two elves rode up "We have urgent news Marchwarden, It…"

At a wave of his hand they stopped at once, never taking his eye off me. "I must go now. Maybe I will see you later?"

"Maybe, Haldir maybe you will."

He turned back to the elves.

I felt like a little schoolgirl with a crush on the best looking guy in class, I sang all the way to my room not caring who heard me. I could not tell you of their conversation but by the look on his face it was serious.

When I entered my room I went to the balcony that faced the garden and saw something that was odd, Lady Galadriel was kissed Haldir on the forehead. I did the unthinkable; I listened in on their conversation.

"Haldir how was your afternoon with Shashuwan?"

"Mother, it was lovely. I have never been with a woman such as Shash."

"What makes her so different, my little soldier?"

I gasped. I had had no idea that he was her son. They didn't act like it, but I guess they are very private elves. I didn't listen to any more of their conversation. I figured Haldir would tell me what was on his mind and in his heart soon enough. He did not seem to be one to hold back.

But, little did I know that I would be forced to prove to myself that I am capable of loving and caring for someone else sooner than I thought.


	4. Chapter 4

~Chapter 4 ~

I left them to their conversation, besides it was between a mother and her son. I was a bit tired and my head was pounding. I tried to ignore it but it was not getting any better. I called for Lydia's help. "Shashuwan did you need something? Is there something wrong you don't look well?"

"My head, I think I may have done too much today. Is it possible I could have the herbal tea and I think I will lie down?"

"Of course, you have time before dinner."

"Dinner with whom may I ask?"

"With Lord Celeborn, Lady Galadriel, their sons and Lord Elrond."

"I don't think I am ready," I replied, hesitantly. "Will you be there? Plus I have nothing to wear."

"Shashuwan, you have to attend, Lady Galadriel came to me personally and requested for you to be there."

I closed my eyes the pain in my head was getting worse. "Shashuwan, change your clothes and lie down for I will return with your tea."

She left the room and I did as she asked, I lay there thinking of my afternoon with the Marchwarden and why I am so drawn the feeling is so strong it I is overwhelming but it excites me at the same time, she shortly returned with my tea.

"Here now be careful; it's hot." She closed the balcony doors so I could have some privacy. I finished my tea and handed the cup back to her.

"Now sleep you will feel better when you wake, I promise."

"Thank you Lyndia" I was just about to close my eyes when she asked me a question.

"Shashuwan how was your afternoon with our Marchwarden?"

I looked at her and smiled, "It was lovely Lyndia, just lovely. Thank you for asking."

She smiled and left the room and I closed my eyes and got some much needed rest. As I slept I dreamed of my afternoon with Haldir, but as usual my dreams turned dark and always back to that horrible day reliving everything again. But miraculously this time it was different. I heard Haldir; _"Shashuwan I am always here for you__. __ Just think of me now. Please calm yourself."_ I was not alone and peacefully went to sleep.

When I awoke I was a little troubled by what happened but I did not wake up in a cold sweat this time or in a fog but clearer than usual. I got out of bed and I was a little dizzy but I think that was just from the tea. I went to the basin and washed my face.

I opened the balcony doors to let the sunshine in and enjoyed the sweet breeze in Lothlorien. It is just exquisite here and so serene I could have stayed there for the rest of my life. I felt safe here like nothing or no one could harm me. Lyndia had not yet returned so I decided to work on my part of the grant for my colleague. I put my robe on and sat on the balcony with my laptop and worked on my paper, after about an hour into my work there was a knock at my door, I went to answer it.

"Who is it?

"It is Lady Galadriel."

"I am sorry it took me so long I was working. Please come in my Lady."

I admire Lady Galadriel she is so beautiful, graceful and soft spoken. She followed me to the balcony where I was working, I knew why she was there I didn't even have to ask. As I sat across from her I picked up my laptop saved my work, closed it down and set it aside. She was very intrigued with what I was doing.

"Shashuwan may I ask, what is that you were working on?"

I smiled; "It is a laptop computer and I was working on my part of a grant for a colleague back home."

"A..laptop? What is that?" I explained to her the workings of a computer and what I was working on she seemed interested in everything.

"That is fascinating. And you do all of this from your laptop?"

"Yes, I do it saves a lot of time so things don't have to be handwritten over and over again. But, I know your not here to ask about my work. I imagine you want to know about what happened between Haldir and I this afternoon."

"Yes, I do Shashuwan."

"Well it was beautiful, why?" Smiling at her I knew she was digging for information.

"Hummm, is that all you have to say it was beautiful?"

"Yes, he showed me around Lothlorien and then took me to his private retreat where he goes to relax and think. Like I said it was beautiful."

"He took you there?"

"Yes he did, you have never been?"

"Of course I know where it is, but no, I have not been there. I do know he has always gone there and spent many a days and nights by himself, Haldir is a very private elf. He tends to keep to himself. So when you mentioned that, I was just surprised because he does not share it with anyone – not even his brothers." This time she was smiling.

"Is there anything else that you needed to know Lady Galadriel?"

"Did Lyndia tell you that you are to join us for dinner tonight?"

"Yes and I will be there, I tried to make up an excuse but Lyndia quickly told me there was no getting out of it. So yes I am looking forward to it. Thank you for the invitation."

She nodded and got up to leave; "I will leave you to your work and yes Haldir will be there. Goodbye until dinnertime, Shashuwan."

She left my room and I could not help but wonder what it would be like to have Lady Galadriel as a mother-in-law, I know that she would really test your patience. And, she is very protective of Haldir. I went back and lost myself in the work. I was determined to get it done.

"Shashuwan, did you not hear me knocking?"

"I am sorry Lyndia, I was working."

"I have come to help you get ready for dinner."

"Is it possible you can come a little later I am trying to finish this and I am almost done, please this is very important."

She hesitated for a minute. "I understand that this is important to you, I shall return later, I will also inform the Lord and Lady that you will be a little late."

"If I want to enjoy the rest of my time here I need to get this done. Thank you for understanding." I imagine it must seem strange for me to work on things from home, but in some unknown way, working on it helps me reconcile this world and my own.

I have not had a lot of alone time since I have been here and I guess that is for my own safety. I turned my attention back to my work at hand. I did not realize that the time was getting late when there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?"

"It is time for you to get dressed now."

"Ok, I have just finished."

"Good now hurry along; it's almost time for dinner."

I went to the bathroom to freshen up and put my hair up.

"Lyndia, what am I to wear tonight? I have nothing appropriate at all?"

"Don't worry I have the perfect gown for you, I'll be right back."

She returned with the most beautiful gown that I had ever seen. It was layers of sheer baby blue material, long sleeves and throughout the gown are tears of silver that twinkled in the light of Lothlorien; the gown just took my breath away.

"Lyndia, I can't wear that, it's too beautiful for me. Where did you get it?"

"I made this gown but I never wore it. My husband died in battle before I ever got to finish it."

"Well you should give it to your daughter, not me a stranger."

"Shash, I want you to wear it, I have no daughter. I was hoping you would, I have already started making more gowns for you. Please, for me."

"Yes, I would be honored to wear your gown."

"Thank you, Shash."

"We must hurry; they have been waiting."

I finished prepping my hair and putting the lotion she gave me it smelled like a sweet musk, very light. I put on my bra and panties, happy that they were off white; anything else would not have looked right. She helped me put on the gown. It was cut low in the front, more than what I was use to.

She stepped back. "You are truly beautiful and your hair is perfect."

I put on a little lip-gloss and my mothers diamond earrings and bracelet that I always wear. It's a way of having her close to me. I put on a pair of slippers that matched the color of the dress and I was finally ready.

"Well, how do I look?"

"Wonderful, that gown is perfect for you. I must make you one in yellow to match your eyes. Now we must go, come."

We walked down the hall and up two flights of stairs to get to the private dining room. The doors were shut, but I heard them talking and laughing.

I turned to Lyndia and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "Thank you for everything."

She smiled. "No need to thank me, now please go, I'm sure everyone is almost ready to sit down to dinner."

The doors opened and I stepped inside. The room was beautiful, so open. There were candles lit throughout and fragrant flowers everywhere. To my left, on a small stage an intimate group of musicians were performing. To my right on the balcony I saw two elves talking. They reminded me of Haldir a little, very tall and strong facial features. I couldn't help but stare because I felt I had seen them before. By the table were Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. And there also on the balcony was the tall dark haired elf with two other elves that I think were twins.

Lord Celeborn was the first to greet me. "Shashuwan, so nice to see you please come and join us, we have been looking forward to seeing you again."

I bowed to him. "Please forgive me for almost being late. I was busy working on something that I had to get done before I returned home."

Lord Celeborn was very forgiving. "I appreciate the apology but I understand. Let me introduce my sons Orophin and Rumil."

"I remember them they were with Haldir when he found me." I turned to them. "I'm so happy to finally meet you. Thank you for everything you did for me."

The one closest to me said, "Lady Shashuwan, I am Rumil it is nice to see you well. We did nothing, Shashuwan. Our brother is the one who took care of you and we only assisted him."

"Well, thank you for your help."

"And you recall my son-in-law Elrond from earlier. These other two rascals are our grandsons, Elladan and Elohir." All three raven haired elves nodded and gave a slight bow in my direction.

I in turn bowed to them, "Lord Celeborn and Lord Elrond I want to apologize for my behavior towards you, please forgive me."

Lord Celeborn gently took my hand in his, "You have nothing to apologize for you were frightened and confused perfectly natural so please do not worry about it."

I turned to Lord Elrond, "Thank you Lord Elrond for all that you did."

He placed his hand on his heart, "There is no need to thank me."

"Hummm, Elladan and Elohir I had no idea that Lord Elrond had such handsome sons I am pleased to meet both of you."

As I turned to leave I heard the comment that Elohir made to his brother, "Now I see why Haldir has spent so much time with her. I have to admit she is quite beautiful for a mortal and her eyes are amazing."

Lady Galadriel came to my side, "You look most beautiful in your gown."

"Thank you. Lyndia gave it to me. I have never worn anything so elegant."

"Please come to the balcony with me, Shashuwan, so we can talk."

We walked out onto the balcony and sat on some beautiful cushioned benches, the base was made of marble with red velvet cushions they were exquisite. It was a lovely evening and the music was enchanting.

I knew why she wanted to see me. It had to do with the conversation she had with her son. We sat across from each other and she gave me that warm smile

"Shashuwan, I did not want you to think that I was trying to get in between you and Haldir, it's just that…."

"You can't help it all mothers do it."

She smiled. "Were you eavesdropping?"

"Only for a couple of minutes I saw you kiss him on his forehead which I thought very odd, and that is when I heard you say my little soldier."

"Your skills are improving, good. When I'm with him my full attention is on him always."

"I can understand that he has a presence about him. I found that out today, what did he tell you?"

"He told me that he enjoyed himself this afternoon, and that he wished it did not have to end. But, he was disturbed by what happened when you mentioned a man by the name of James. He said that you revealed something to him and he did not think it was his place to tell me. Will you tell me?"

I walked over to the railing on the balcony and just stood there for a minute. "Lady Galadriel have you ever had something happen to you that almost destroyed your life and no matter what you did to get past it nothing helped at all?"

"Yes, I have Shashuwan."

"What happened changed me and it was not for the good, that is all I can say right now, but I will talk more about it later, I promise." She walked towards me and took my hands in hers. "I know you will, but until then I want you to relax and enjoy yourself tonight." She paused briefly and added, "Do you think that the way you feel towards Haldir has changed?"

"The more time I spend with Haldir the safer I feel, like nothing can harm me. And the more time I spend with him, the more I learn from him. It's been a long time since I have been close with a man, but he's not like any man that I know. He's an elf he warms my soul and fills my heart with joy."

"Then he knows how you feel?"

"Well I am sure he does but I promised him we will talk more about it once you and I have had a chance to talk." Just as I said that he walked on to the balcony.

"Good evening Nana and Shashuwan."

"Haldir you are late again. What am I going to do with you?" she kidded with him.

"I am sorry Nanneth, please forgive me."

He gave his mother a hug and turned and took me in his arms and just held me. He whispered in my ear, "I missed you, Shash."

I whispered back, "I missed you too."

Stepping back he said, "Are you two ladies ready for dinner?"

We each took an arm and walked to the dinner table and he helped us with our chairs.

While we were being served our food, Lord Celeborn started asking me questions, what I did and some of my interests.

After sipping my wine, Haldir took my hand and said, "Shash, please tell of your family. We never got to finish our earlier conversation."

I smiled. "Well, where do I start? I have no brothers or sisters, my parents passed away right before I entered high school."

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" Galadriel asked, I noticed how she looked at Lord Celeborn before I started talking.

"They were in a car accident, a drunk driver hit them head-on, killed them instantly. I never had the chance to say good-bye. I was only 14 years old, just entering high school it was suppose to be the happiest time of my life, dating, boys, high school dances, prom, graduation and then college. I know that everyone doesn't understand much of what I'm talking about, but I will explain."

They all nodded.

"After my parents passed away, my Aunt Cleo came to live with me at my parent's house. I got through high school with her support and love. After that I went to college at Ohio State University, where I was in school for 13 years and graduated with a Bachelor's, PH.D and MD in Pediatrics Medicine. From there I opened my own clinic for children with six other colleagues. I'm very proud of what I have done with my life and I owe it all to my parents love and dedication even in death. But out of everything that I have accomplished I have this feeling that there is a part of me that is missing, like there is more to me."

"So you are a scholar," Celeborn said. I nodded.

Rumil asked, "Shash, what is Pediatrics Medicine?"

"I care for children who are sick. I'm a doctor and I also perform surgery when needed."

"You have healers correct? They help your people when they are injured or sick? When your men are in battle and they come back injured, you heal them, you do what is needed to save their lives."

"How long have you felt this way about apart of you missing?" asked Lord Celeborn.

"I….I have been feeling this way for the past 10 to 15 years and I can't figure it out."

During my conversation, Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel were talking amongst themselves.

"Well, that is what I do for children. With all of the knowledge that I have learned and the research that I have done, I do my best to save them and heal them. Their families trust me with the lives of their children. And if I can't find an answer I consult with my colleagues and we find an answer together."

Lord Celeborn asked, "You only help children not adults?"

"That is correct. That is what I specialized in my profession."

"So, what is so different from the way you treat your patients and the way we do?" Lord Elrond asked.

"Well, for one I'm sure you don't use a lot of the medicine that we do. You might use a lot of herbs and maybe self-healing methods I don't know for sure but I'm guessing. We have advanced in ways that you don't know. For instance, we can exam bones on the inside without cutting the body open to see them. We even perform surgery on the brain and the heart. Some, not I, have performed surgery on a baby that is still in the mother's womb."

"Now that is amazing," said Lord Elrond

"I love saving lives and helping people and children when I can. It fills me with joy and satisfaction."

I sipped some more wine, while Haldir just stared at me and gave me that wonderful smile that made his eyes twinkle.

"My life is pretty full with my work at the hospital and the practice. Unfortunately, I'm not able to be home as much as I might like during the week. But, I do enjoy being busy and challenged."

Elrond nodded in understanding. "I also enjoy helping others, healing and teaching the younger ones to become healers too."

"What do you do when you are not at work, Shashuwan, if you don't mind me asking?" Elladan asked.

"Well, I have a four-bedroom home and a small studio. I own three lovely horses and two beautiful dogs. When I'm home, I enjoy playing my violin and the piano."

"And you live there all alone?" Orophin asked.

"Well, at one time I was engaged to a man that I had dated for about two and half years, but things did not work out and I ended our relationship. So now I live in this house alone except for Katara who stays with me from time to time. Besides, after the business of the week, being around patients and colleagues all the time, it is nice to relax in the quiet of my home."

"That is one of the many wonders of the Golden Woods," Haldir commented. Though many elves live here, there is still a sense of peace provided by The Lady."

I smiled in understanding. I nodded towards the small musical group that was still playing in the hall, "They play beautifully. I do love music. I have a small singing group that I get together with every now and then, and that is what I really enjoy because at the end of my week, or when I have the time. It helps to relax me. When I sing everything that I'm feeling comes out in the song."

Lady Galadriel said, "I would truly enjoy listening to you sing."

"Of course, I would be happy to sing for all of you." I said, looking around the table.

"So, from what you have said, you don't spend that much time at home?" asked Lord Celeborn

"No, I don't. Sometimes I work at my practice during the day and work at the hospital at night."

"So, you have time for nothing else in your life?" Haldir asked. "You would probably find life here rather boring here wouldn't you?"

I smiled at him. "I don't know about that. It would certainly be different and a challenge I am sure. Sometimes my life is so busy that I can lose sight of what is truly important."

"That can easily happen when you are so busy. You do not have time to rest or reflect on life, or even enjoy it sometimes," Elrond observed. "Often I despair of all the paperwork. My seneschal Glorfindel often complains of the same thing."

Shash nodded in agreement. "Not to say that I don't like what I do, because I love my profession, but the paperwork can be burdensome," she said with a small smile.

"Sometimes though, I just get tired of being alone. When I go shopping and I see couples out, or families out together and think that one-day I would love to have that."

"Are you sure?" Haldir asked. "It seems you have no room for anything else in your life."

"I would love to be married to the right man for me and have children of my own one day. I would not mind being at home taking care of my husband, cooking for him and taking care of our children. The man I would marry would have to understand the demands of me being a doctor, too."

"Shashuwan, Lord Celeborn and I would like the chance to speak with you privately some time tonight," Lady Galadriel asked.

"Lady Galadriel you said that you needed to talk with me tonight?"

"Yes, it is very important it is not a problem is it?'

"No, it is fine."

Just as she finished her question, there was a knock at the door and two guards walked in and bowed. "Please My Lord and Lady forgive us but we need to talk with the Marchwarden."

Haldir excused himself from the table and talked with his men. He motioned for his brothers to come with him. The twins also joined them after briefly conferring with their father. The warriors spoke with hushed voices for a few minutes. Finally Haldir came back and told us what was wrong.

"Please accept my apologies for leaving dinner so soon. But I'm needed at the North Border there seems to be some trouble, my Lord and Lady."

Haldir walked over to me. "May I speak with you privately? Please excuse us." He took my hand and led me out onto the balcony.

"Shash, I won't be by your side tonight."

"I understand your doing what you're supposed to do. You will return, won't you?"

"Yes, I will return to you, Shash. I promise."

He turned to leave. I placed my hand on his arm and gently pulled him back to me and held him. "Please come back to me."

And then I kissed him for the first time. He didn't reject me he just held me tighter and kissed me back. He pulled back and said. "Your kiss will remain on my lips until I return to place them up on yours again, Shash." He turned, leaving me on the balcony and three of the most powerful elves in Middle Earth left the room.

I felt a sense of great loneliness I have not felt this since my parents died, but I knew deep in my heart he would return to me.

_My sweet Haldir please return to me soon._

I went back to the table and sat next to his empty chair wishing he were back with me. Lord Celeborn got up from where he sat and walked over and sat next to me. He took my hands in his and gave me that fatherly concerned look.

"Shashuwan, don't worry about Haldir. He protects Lothlorien and all of her people. He is our Marchwarden and the Captain of our Guard."

"I understand, Haldir has his job to do here, the same as I would as a healer in my world." I paused. "Could you tell me what did you need to talk to me about?"

Just then there was another knock at the door. "My Lord and Lady please excuse me for the intrusion but there is fighting along the north border more elves have been sent to help. They are trying to set fire to the trees!" He bowed and left immediately. The Lord and Lady looked troubled by this news.

Lady Galadriel apologized. "Shashuwan, I am sorry but we will have to have this conversation at another time."

Then Lord Celeborn approached me saying, "Shashuwan I am hoping that you would come and assist our healers in our healing room when the wounded return but for now please return to your room."

"Of course Lord Celeborn I would be more than happy to help, just send for me and I will be there. I would be happy to assist you, Lord Elrond," she added, looking toward the dark haired elf, "in setting up or in any other way I can be of assistance."

"My Lord and Lady, I am sorry that this evening has taken such a harsh turn, but I did want to thank you for this evening and all of your generosity."

I returned to my room where I needed to be alone to think. When I arrived there were two guards outside my door. "Who requested the second guard?" I asked.

"My lady, our Marchwarden Haldir did just till he returns."

I smiled he cares for me even when he is off fighting - amazing. "Well, thank you."

The guard opened the door and I went into my room, I don't know why I had such strong feelings towards Haldir it just didn't make any since at all, I couldn't understand this all. I went over everything about him in my mind. I mean this would never work... He is over 4,000 years old and he's not even human, he is an elf. But then he is strong, handsome, very caring and let's not forget he is a wonderful kisser.

_But how do you have feelings for someone that you have only just met, how does that happen? If Katara where here she would say, "don't question it, go with what you are feeling, don't run away, take a chance Shashuwan be happy." But she has no idea what I have been through at all. I have no idea what to do now._


	5. Chapter 5

~ Chapter 5 ~

The night was long it seemed like time stood still. It was so quiet, even the eternal light of Lothlorien seemed dim with so many of the elves gone to defend their home. And with each passing hour, my heart ached for Haldir more and more. I changed my clothes and put on my jeans and a shirt, grabbed the book that I had in my backpack and laid on the bed to read. From the time on my watch it was just past midnight when Lyndia knocked on my door.

"Come in?"

"How are you doing?"

"Better than I have been, I was just thinking of Haldir."

"Do not worry he has been our Marchwarden for some time now. You have to be ready for him when he returns from fighting**. **The Lady strongly feels that he will need you. He will come here to see you and no one else."

I smiled, "I doubt that, I don't think he would trust his well-being to a mortal just yet," I said uncertainly. "Lyndia is it wrong to have strong feelings for someone so quickly?"

"What do you mean wrong?"

"Where I come from some may say it is impossible and others would say it is simply infatuation or just physical attraction that might draw people together so rapidly."

"It is never wrong to have feelings towards someone, Shashuwan, especially if the feelings are from the heart."

"It's just that I have only been here a short time and I can't seem to stop thinking about him and I don't understand this. I have never had feelings like this before; usually I'm very careful about everything I do. And now I can't seem to think about anyone but him, this is not normal especially for me."

She smiled, "My dear child, love does not have a time or age limit on it. Love is a mystery. It happens when it is supposed to. You do not know when it will strike, but remember when love happens you do not sit by and wonder "Is it the right time? Is he right for me?" What you do is you believe in that person. You believe in your feelings for that person and you follow your heart!"

"But Lyndia I never said I was in love with him. Besides we are different in so many ways. He is an elf and I am not, oh and let's not discuss the age difference. He is over 4,000 years old and immortal…. Oh yes, and he lives in Lothlorien, a magical kingdom in Middle Earth and I live in the USA, in plain old Earth. I must be crazy, right?"

She smiled, "No, you did not say you were in love but the way you look at him says something completely different. Shashuwan, Haldir does not enter into anything lightly, he is very protective of his feelings and his heart, so trust your heart. Trust in him. He has feelings for you and everything you mentioned does not matter to him. Maybe they matter to you or are they just an excuse? I want you to think and search your feelings. Please will you do this?"

"I will Lyndia, I will," I replied, almost grateful that the conversation was over, but I appreciated her listening ear. "Thank you for talking to me. By the way did you come up because you wanted or needed something, Lyndia?"

"Lord Celeborn sent me to let you know that you are needed in the healing room, some of our wounded have returned and your assistance is needed."

I put on my shoes, pulled my hair back and followed Lyndia down the hall and to the healing room.

"Lyndia, do you think that Haldir and I….No never mind."

"Shashuwan, I have seen him when he looks at you and you are not aware of it. I can see that he has feelings for you, just search within yourself and your will find what you are looking for."

I smiled at her as we descended the steps from my talan, "I won't worry about it."

"Good for you, just believe in what I said."

"I will thank you." I gave her a hug.

The Healing Room was located closer to ground level when we arrived the room was half full, not too bad for an ER. The room was much bigger than what I expected. There were 14 beds in the room; 7 lined each side of the room. It was much like an ER, in the center of the room was a very long table there was a huge pot of water that was being kept fairly hot but not boiling also there were bandages, herbs and medicine. The instruments that they used were not what I was use to using but I would do my best. There were other healers in the room also. Lord Celeborn approached me.

"Shashuwan, I am happy you came are you feeling better?" he said.

"Yes, thank you for asking."

He has such a beautiful smile and he also has a presence about him, "I have told them of your abilities and that it might seem much different from theirs, but I have asked them to let you assist. That way you can learn how we do things and then they could observe you. Will that be alright with you? Lord Elrond will also be here to oversee everything and everyone. We are fortunate to have the foremost healer in Middle Earth here to help us."

"Of course that will be fine I am always open to learning Lord Celeborn."

He introduced me to two of the healers in the room the first was a male; tall and slender. His hair was black with the darker features like Lord Elrond, but his face seemed softer.

"Shashuwan, this is Saelanu, the Chief of our Healers. You will be assisting him."

He bowed, "Lady Shashuwan, I am pleased to meet you. Lord Celeborn has told me about you and I hope you are pleased with Lothlorien."

"I am more than pleased, thank you Saelanu."

The next was a woman she also was tall and slender, with long auburn hair and her eyes were brown. "Shashuwan this is Maeninu she is as skilled as Saelanu."

I inclined my head, "Maeninu, I am pleased to meet you."

At the time I did not know that she did not speak my tongue so Lord Celeborn translated for me.

Lord Celeborn led me to a small table so we could talk in private. "Shashuwan, if you are not comfortable with this, you only have to let me know."

"Lord Celeborn, I am fine, I always welcome the opportunity to learn different customs."

"Saelanu, I leave Shashuwan with you please give her every courtesy as you would one of our own healers."

He inclined his head, "Yes Lord Celeborn, I will."

Before leaving, Lord Celeborn assured me that Elrond would be joining us shortly. There was some concern regarding his sons' involvement in the fighting. Celeborn then left me in the healing room with Saelanu. I did not know how all of this was going to pan out due to the fact that I am mortal, but I have been in emergency medical situations like this before, so it should be no different. I hoped.

Saelanu motioned for me to follow him, "Shashuwan, Lord Celeborn has told me that you are a Doctor where you come from?"

"Yes I am a pediatric doctor by profession."

"Pediatric? Please explain."

"I am a children's doctor."

He stopped and turned to me, "Why would you limit yourself to just children?"

"That is what I went to school for, I prefer helping children. They seem to find a special calm and comfort in my presence as their doctor." I told him with a slight shrug of my shoulders, but I don't think he really understood.

"Lord Celeborn is very confident in your skills, I will see for myself."

"Tonight I am here to learn from you and assist you in any way you deem necessary." Although he seemed a bit arrogant, I think he was pleased with my response.

I followed him on his rounds watching as he examined each and every elf that came for whatever reason. He was so attentive and diligent in his work, I have noticed that the elves here share a connection, I can't figure it out but it is amazing. It was very quiet in their healing room there was no beeping of machines or no loud voices calling for assistance. It was very calm. I assisted him for maybe four hours and during that time he showed me how to prepare a tea that is used to put their patients in a deep sleep.

"Shashuwan, I want to show you how to prepare the herbal tea that is used for putting our patients in to a deep sleep. Because this tea is very potent to you humans once you have poured the hot water into the cup please place a cloth over it, I cannot have you passing out. Lord Celeborn would be very upset with me. Place three leaves in the cup take a spoon and crumple up the leaves, pour hot water in the cup place a white cloth over the cup and let it stand till you are ready for it."

"Saelanu, how long does it take before your patient sleep?"

"Not long, usually two or three minutes."

I followed him to the bedside of one of the wounded that had a cut on his head and a cut under his rib cage right side. "Shashuwan this is your patient I will be observing you now."

If I wasn't nervous before, I sure was now, as Lord Elrond also came to observe. I sat next to him and examined his wounds. "He has a superficial cut on his forehead just below the hair line. The laceration on his right side below his rib cage is maybe one or two inches long and an inch deep, I see some bone fragments in the wound, some muscle has been cut and there was heavy bleeding. I must get started right away."

My patient regained conciseness, "Who are you?"

"My name is Shashuwan; I am your healer."

"My name is Finrod I answer to our Marchwarden, Haldir."

I nodded at his words, yet I urged him, "Please you must not talk. You will need to conserve all your energy for healing.

I prepared the tea as he had shown me, waited three minutes and gave it to Finrod. I made sure he finished all of the tea and waited for him to go to sleep; I started removing fragments of bones with an instrument quite similar to tweezers. Then I cleaned out the wound. I stitched up muscle and made sure there were no bleeders left un-sutured. It took about an hour and a half, but I was very pleased with the results. I stitched the outer skin closed and placed herbs and a sterile bandage on the area.

Elrond seemed to watch for a short time and then went to help others around the room. I barely noticed that Saelanu had been watching me the whole time. It did not bother me. "Saelanu, did I do everything correct?"

"Yes, you did Lady Shashuwan I've never seen anyone work so fast."

"That comes from working in the ER at the hospital, when there are only two maybe three doctors on duty at night you have to be on top of your game or know what you are doing."

"What is this ER?" Elrond asked her.

"It's the Emergency Room, where people come to receive important medical care if they can't get to their doctor…healer in time. People have all sorts of accidents, then there's gang violence, abusive situations. That really gets to me, when people harm their own children," I said, almost to myself.

I left him and attended the others and did what I could. I stitched up some, cleaned some wounds. I went back to check on Finrod and he was doing fine. I looked down at my watch it was nearly 4:30 in the morning. I was starting to get tired; I drank some water and continued. But my thoughts were on one person, Haldir. I just wanted him to return. Quite some time had passed when Lord Celeborn returned to the healing room.

"Shashuwan, Saelanu has told me that he was most impressed with your work."

"Yes, I was," he said in a much warmer tone than before. "Lady Shashuwan, thank you for helping us."

"I didn't mind helping at all Saelanu, I was glad I could be of some service here."

He bowed and returned to his patients.

I turned back to Lord Celeborn. "Have you heard from Haldir?"

"No I have not. Usually he is one of the last to come in. Do not worry, he has seen many battles and lived to tell the tale." Elrond flashed a look of concern towards Celeborn, but no one really seemed to notice.

Elrond approached me and softly said, "I can tell that you are very tired. It would be best for you to take some rest now, before the last group returns."

"You may return to your room, if you desire," Celeborn added, aware of my all too human frailty. I smiled, "Thank you my Lords for giving me the opportunity to work with your Chief Healer."

I checked on Finrod again just to make sure he was resting well. I washed my hands and left for my room. When I left the healing room it was full. The healers certainly had everything under control. I wished I could have stayed longer, but my head was hurting a little. And Elrond was right, I was fatigued. When I returned to my room Lyndia had already been there and left me a glass of wine. I sat at the table took off my shoes and sipped my wine. I must have been more tired than I realized. I lay down to sleep and didn't even bother to get undressed.

I don't know how long I slept, but I felt a hand on my shoulder and it startled me. I sat up and saw it was Rumil. "Rumil, why are you here, where is Haldir?"

"Oro's bringing him. I ran ahead so you would be prepared."

"What's wrong Rumil is he hurt?" A curt nod from Rumil struck my heart.  
"How badly is he injured?"

"He's lost a lot of blood he has an injury to his right shoulder and left leg."

"Elohir was also seriously injured. His brother and father are tending him in his room."

"Oh my! I hope he is all right. Thank you Rumil I will make preparations for Haldir now." Rumil left to help his brother Orophin bring Haldir up the long steps to my talan. With some fear, but a large amount of conviction I called for Lyndia, I looked down at my watch and it was nearly 10:00am.

"Lyndia, Haldir is returning and he is injured. Could you please go to the healing room and get all the instruments and teas you think we might need."

"Of course right away, I will have a basin of water and towels sent to you immediately!"

She wasted no time and left. I pulled back the blankets on my bed, there was a knock at my door and it was a couple of elvish maidens who bought me the two basins of both warm and cool water along with several towels and bandages. I quickly rushed into the bathroom, grabbed the soap and then headed over to the basin of warm water, and scrubbed my hands and arms. No surgical gloves here!

Lyndia returned, her arms filled with the items I might need. She was followed by another maiden who had more blankets. We spread two of the heavy towels on the bed and Lyndia started setting up everything that we might need. Not too long after that they entered the room with Haldir.

They were both struggling under the weight of their brother but they would never complain. When he was bought in he was somewhat coherent but it seems as though he was slipping in and out of consciousness. He insisted on sitting at the chair next to the table, I did not oppose that. I let him do as he wished. However, I insisted that he elevate the leg immediately to help slow the blood loss. His right thigh was soaked with blood and they had wrapped his cloak around his shoulder and underneath his arm. Haldir seemed to clinch his teeth with every small movement, but he did not cry out. I reached for the scissors Lyndia had brought me and made short work of cutting off his leggings and gently eased his boots off. At first glance it looked like he had suffered a sword slash, or something similar to his leg. I quickly wrapped his thigh with one of the many towels on the table. "Orophin", I directed his brother, "I need you to keep constant pressure on the wound. If it bleeds through, add another towel on top of it. Don't remove the old one." Orophin simply nodded him agreement, glad to have a small hand that would help his older brother.

"Now let's see to the shoulder," I said. Mostly to myself, as I began to rise from my crouched position at his side,

He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me. I smiled and knelt back in front of him, his eyes followed me. "Haldir," I said warmly, but firmly. I placed my hand on his. "I know you insist on doing things your way but this is what I went to school for, this is what I do on a daily basis. Will you trust me to be your healer?

His eyes were little more than slits, as he looked at me. He gave me a small smile, "I….trust you Shashuwan." I couldn't resist my own small urge for intimacy and gently kissed his forehead. Haldir's eyes drifted closed.

I turned to his brothers, "I can figure out what happened to this thigh and it was a blade or sword of some kind, but what happened to his shoulder?"

Rumil stepped forward, "We think that in the midst of battle, a dagger was thrown from a distance. Haldir must have deflected it some, but it still slammed with a powerful force into his shoulder. He may have wrenched it out himself or it was knocked out when he stumbled. Orophin and I rushed to his side and discovered that the dagger had already fallen to the ground."

I busily removed the cloth from around Haldir's shoulder and examined his wound. It appeared as if the dagger had fallen away cleanly and didn't leave any shards behind. The wound was already terribly inflamed. "Was there any sign of poison that you could see? I need to know, did you?"

"Here is the dagger that was lying next to him." Rumil, carefully un-wrapped the weapon from the heavy cloth, where he had placed it for safekeeping, he handed the dagger to me there was a black sticky substance on it. With a small swallow Rumil confessed, "We believe it to be poison."

"Lyndia, do you also believe this is true? If this is poison what is the best way to deal with it?

She examined the dagger. "I also believe itto be poisoned. Note the sticky dark covering on the blade, but the foul odor and dark feel that pulsates from it even now. I have not seen this since…I must get Lord Elrond at once." She quickly left with the carefully wrapped blade to seek out the Master Healer.

I had his brothers move him over to the bed so I could work on him. I gently stuffed pillowed behind his back so he was able to sit up some and I could still reach his shoulder area. Orophin returned to put pressure back on his brother's leg wound. It started bleeding again when he was moved.

I felt Haldir's forehead and he had already spiked a fever. Fortunately, for him, he had slipped under again, so he wouldn't feel all the pain of my poking and prodding that I had to do to him. I carefully started to wipe away the blood and dirt caked around the wound, and made sure to not touch the surface of the injury or poisoned area. After it was fairly clean, I placed a bandage around his shoulder to cover the wound. I easily recalled the ABC's of triage – bleeding, breathing and poisoning.

I moved down to his thigh. The towel was already caked with blood and stuck to his thigh. I carefully irrigated the area with the warm clean water to help the towel come away from the wound. Thankfully it looked like it had finally stopped bleeding. I was prepared to remove the covering entirely when I heard Elrond open the door to the room and called out,

"Shashuwan, STOP!"

"What is wrong? What did I do?" I asked more than a little frightened, afraid that I might do something that could hurt Haldir.

"You are fine, Shashuwan. I didn't mean to frighten you. The poison on the dagger is very dangerous to The Marchwarden and we need to start the process of removing the poison from him immediately!"

I stood up and looked at my love and then back at Lord Elrond, "How dangerous is it? Are you telling me he could die?"

"Yes, it could be deadly, but we can save him if we work quickly. Does he have a fever?" He quickly checked Haldir while asking me questions.

"Yes, he does have a fever," I informed Elrond. "It seemed too high, to me, for the wounds that he has sustained. What should I do, please tell me the best way to deal with this?"

Lord Elrond slowly turned Haldir on his side to examine the wound on the back of his shoulder. "Is the tea ready? We must put him completely to sleep now to do what needs to be done. Get the tea**.** I will hold him while you give it to him." I quickly grasped the cup from Lyndia's outstretched hands.

I brought the cup to his lips so he could drink it**. **He tried to turn his head**,** but I pleaded with him to drink it. Sternly but gently I urged him, "Haldir! Drink this please**. **Lord Elrond is here with me. We are trying to save your life, do as I say now!" He opened his eyes a crack and saw Lord Elrond, his brothers and myself all around his bed. He raised an eyebrow in my direction, and began to sip the tea slowly. In a short time he passed into a deep sleep. Lord Elrond quickly went over to the table and showed me how to prepare the herbs for removing the infection.

"Shashuwan, I would stay and help but I must return to my son whom was also injured." "I understand Lord Elrond please continue with the preparation and I promise I will do my best for Haldir."

He smiled, "I know you will, I trust you completely." He turned his attention to the table and instructed me, "You will combine these three herbs and place them in this very thin cloth. Be careful not let this cloth touch anything for you place this inside his wound." He arranged the herbs on the cloth and tied it in a knot and dipped it, just for a second, in a mysterious looking liquid**. **He rested it on top of a clean bandage and took it over to wear Haldir slept. He handed it to me. "Now I will cut the wound on either side so I can place the sack inside**,** wrap a bandage around his shoulder and under his arm and make sure it is secure."

"This procedure will be very uncomfortable for him**,** so he must have the tea before you remove it**. **Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do. Will he be healed by this process, my Lord?"

"Not entirely. It will draw the poison from the wound. Right now the poison is attacking his ability to will take longer, so this must be changed every two hours**. **You will know**,** for the herbs will turn black**. **Have Lyndia dispose of it right away, she knows how. Do everything exactly as I told you and most important do not leave him at all**. **You will know when his body is free of the poison in two ways. His fever will decrease and when you remove the poultice it will be clearer. Now you can treat his thigh**. **Do you have any questions?"

"No, I understand everything you have said Lord Elrond**.** Thank you and I pray that your son recovers soon."

"I must leave, but I will return when I can." He quickly left the room and closed the door behind him." Lyndia and I proceeded to work on his leg**. **It was a major concern to both of us that he couldn't heal on his own right now**. **I cleaned the wound and examined it carefully. Even though the room seemed bright enough ordinarily, Rumil brought over the lanterns and candles from the table to help me see more clearly. I looked for anything that might have been left behind. Even the smallest shard could bring about infection and death, especially without the benefit of antibiotics! I stitched up the torn muscle and closed the wounds with small delicate stitches. Remarkably, the elves use their own hair for the stitches. As I sewed the delicate sides of flesh back together, the "thread" held firm and proved to be a valuable resource. When that was finally done, I placed the healing herbs all along the length of the wound; then Lyndia helped me bandage his injury.

I scrubbed my hands and went to his side Lyndia placed a basin of cold water with a clean cloth. She started gathering up the items I would not need. I noticed that his brothers were still in the room. "Rumil and Orophin you should go and get some rest, if there is any change I promise I will send for you."

They looked at each other then back to me, "You will send for us won't you Shashuwan?"

I smiled, "I will, on my word as your brothers' healer." They said their goodbyes to their brother and left.

"Shash, I will return with more of the supplies that you will need are you in need of anything?"

I looked at my watch and it was almost 5:00pm, "If you don't mind could I have a little dinner and tea?"

She smiled, "Yes, right away." She left the room and I turned my attention to Haldir. He was very feverish. I placed the cloth in the basin of water squeezed it out and gently dabbed the cool liquid on his face, neck and chest**.** I have to admit that I was momentarily swept up by his physique which reminded me of a roman statue from the museum**.** While he was quite pleasant to look at, I chastised myself for my lack of professionalism towards my patient.

I kept a close eye on my watch so I would not pass the two hour limit**. **I promised Lord Elrond that I would do my best and that was what I intend to do.

Lyndia returned shortly with fresh basins of hot water**.** Together we cleaned the sweat, dirt and blood from his body. We gently looked for any other wounds we might have missed**,** but there were none. When we were through, Lyndia emptied the basins in the sink and left the talan for a short while.

I looked up and saw that the Lady was in the room. "Lady Galadriel, I didn't even know you were here. When did you arrive?"

"I have been here for a while watching you**. **Don't be concerned. I could see that you were very busy.I appreciate the tender care you are both giving to my son. I understand from Elrond that this is a new poison, one we have not encountered before. Do you think he will be all right?"

**"I believe he will heal, it is my fervent hope and prayer! His pulse is weak and he has lost a fair amount of blood. The real danger is from the fever and the infection from the poison. I have little experience with poisons, but **Lord Elrond showed me what I needed to do to care for him. He assured me that as long as I did what he said he should pull through. Even now he drifts in and out of consciousness. Not even Lord Elrond's tea can keep him down for long!" I said with a touch or humor.

I knew Lady Galadriel wanted to talk with me privately. I leaned over and kissed Haldir on his cheek and whispered in his ear, "Haldir, Lady Galadriel is here. She wants to speak with me for a moment on the balcony. Know that I am still here with you, and I will stay until you are fully recovered." I squeezed his hand and then stood up and walked out to the balcony where she waited.

While I had the utmost respect for The Lady, I didn't understand why she felt we had to talk right now, while Haldir was still in danger. "Is there something that you needed My Lady, because I really need to return to Haldir**?"**

"You and Haldir, the feelings that the two of you have for each other grow stronger every minute. I can feel him reaching out to you now."

"I know I can feel him even now as we are talking. Can we talk later, please?" The whole time she was talking to me, I thought I could hear Haldir mind speaking to me asking me to return to him, he needed to feel me next to him.

She smiled and said, "When Haldir is better we will talk it is very important."

"Well of course we will."

I left the balcony and wondered why she needed to talk with me, so urgently. Haldir was still unconscious. I took his hand in mine and he felt cold.

"Lady Galadriel? Why does he feel cold now, when he was so warm not too long ago?"

"When an elf is seriously injured, it takes all of his energy to heal himself but in my son's case he is trying to battle this infection too and it can make healing more difficult. If you stay close to him and let him absorb your body heat it will help him."

"That is right he explained that to me earlier, but I don't know that I can."

I went to the table where she now sat, "I am listening, Shashuwan."

I sat there wringing my hands as I tried to gather my nerves. "What I am about to tell you is one of the worst moments in my life," I said in a low, tense voice. "I never thought it would happen to me but it did and what makes it so bad is the person that did it. I am not going to tell you the details of that day or anything just what happened, is that alright?"

"That is fine Shashuwan, please continue. I only want to help you so you can reach out to Haldir successfully."

I took a deep breath and told her. "Six months ago I was raped and beaten by the man that I considered a brother to me."

"Shashuwan, you don't have to say whom it was I know that it was James."

"What how did you know that? Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

"It was not for me to let you know, you had to tell me yourself Shashuwan."

I didn't know what to think of what she had told me but she is the Lady of Light and I trust what she says.

"So you know what you are asking me to do is something I can't do now."

"I understand why you feel this way, Shashuwan. But I know how you feel about Haldir and that you will do what is best for my son."

"I will try but I can't promise you anything."

"I understand I leave the care of my son in your hands."

"Can you tell me anything about what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"No, not right now, we will talk another time and please try to get your rest Shashuwan, that will be good for Haldir too, as he will feel your own healing and rest through the bond you already have."

When she left I realized that it was just under an hour before I had to change his dressing so I prepared his tea and the sack of herbs for his wound. I went to the bathroom and when I returned he was waking up I quickly went to his side.

I gently placed his hand in mind and said his name so he would know I was still with him. "Haldir, Haldir I am here." He slowly opened his eyes blinking to clear his vision till he could see clearly.

"Sha…shuwan my neck and shoulder…."

"I know, I know you are in pain would you like some water?"

He nodded slightly. The movement obviously caused him discomfort. I quickly gave him some cool water, "Now please drink slowly," I told him, as I held the glass to his full lips.

He did as I asked, then he wanted to know. "Did the dagger have poison on it?"

"Yes, I am afraid it did but Lord Elrond showed me what I needed to do and it's not quite time to change the dressing, so please just rest, ok?"

In a hush voice he spoke, "I trust you completely with my healing I will do whatever you ask of me, but that tea is awful."

I smiled, "I know**,** but you have no choice**.** I don't want you to be in anymore pain than what you already are, but this is my battlefield, Marchwarden and I need you to follow medical orders." I softened my words as I gently rubbed my hand over his forearm.

He took a deep breath, "Yes, I will." He drank all the tea and before long he was in a deep sleep**. **Just then Lyndia entered the room with my dinner and placed it on the table.

"You have perfect timing."

She smiled, "I too was keeping track of the time. I know what it is like to take care of a Marchwarden."

I looked up from preparing the herbs for Haldir and just stared at her, "What did you say?"

"We will talk later after we take care of Haldir."

I gently removed the bandage from around his shoulder and we turned him over, she assisted me as I removed the small poultice from his wound**. **Like Lord Elrond had it was black and it smelled horribly. The wound radiated heat and looked quite painful. I was glad Haldir was asleep. I had never seen a poison like this before in all of my years of practicing medicine. (But then, we had bullets that could pierce vital organs and deal death in seconds!) I carefully wrapped the medicine sack in the old bandages and handed the entire thing to Lyndia. I cleaned the wound and placed a fresh one in the wound and rewrapped his shoulder**. **We turned him over to help make him as comfortable as possible. The streaks that looked like stripes out from his wound did not move any further. I was very thankful for that! Lyndia left to deal with the remnants of the bandages.

I scrubbed my hands and arms as instructed. I checked on him one more time then sat down to eat my dinner, Lyndia returned shortly and sat with me**. **She poured us both a bracing cup of tea.

"Is he faring better than before?"

"Yes he seems better than before. Thank you for all your help! Lyndia," I asked with a bit of apprehension, "Could you explain your comment from earlier?"

She sat back and sipped her tea. "You see," she started awkwardly, "my husband was the Marchwarden before Haldir and that is how I knew you were the one for Haldir."

"The one for Haldir, what are you talking about?"

"When I first met you I knew who you were."

"What? I don't understand Lyndia."

She took a deep breath, "I knew that you and Haldir were destined to be."

I looked at her very strangely now, "Elves are a very strange race of people and how do you know this?"

"Shashuwan, Haldir trained under my husband. My husband would brag, only to me, that Haldir is the best student he had ever trained**. **Asa matter of fact**,** Haldir was the Captain of his unit. Just when he made Captain he met someone**.** They fell in love with each other, they trained together. They mirrored each other."

I felt my tattered heart start to shatter into tiny pieces, but I forged ahead. "But what happened to her, why is she not here with him now?"

"There was fighting along the east border and she was killed**.** I did not think Haldir would ever be the same. My husband and I gave him time to mourn her and after that he was consumed with his training**,** patrolling the borders; whenever something needed to be done he was always the first to volunteer. It seemed he was consumed with nothing but 'duty. We even tried to fix him up with other elleths, but nothing ever came from that. Then there was the tragic, heartbreaking death of my dear husband**. **I was devastated with grief, but Haldir helped me through it."

I placed my hand on hers; "I'm happy that he was there for you, but what does this have to do with me Lyndia? How do I tie into all this?"

"Well afterwards the council was meeting to appoint a new Marchwarden of Lothlorien, I knew what my husband wanted and as unusual as it was**,** I went to council and voiced what my husband wanted. They listened and they appointed Haldir**.** I was so proud of him. From then on I took care of his house for him and his brothers. As much as they were part of the Lord and Lady's family, they also became family to me."

"I started having dreams about a woman, a mortal woman and I only had these dreams when I stayed at his talan. You see, I have long been Haldir's confidant**.** Even before my husband died, Haldir and I had developed a special friendship. Over time, he told me everything**;** his wants, dreams and his prayers for a wife. He longed for someone who he could share his life. Sometimes after he would be returning home from the fences, after 6 months at a time or longer, after he had bathed and eaten, we would sit together. He would often try to relax in chair next by the fire and just stare**.** I knew what he was thinking about and I always assured him that one day she would come. And that was when the dreams started**.** I kept having dreams of you and Haldir together. It bothered me at first that it was a mortal woman**,** but I never told Lady Galadriel about any of this I kept it to myself."

"So you knew of me before hand?"

"I did but I did not know who you were**. **I only saw you in my dreams, I wasn't sure it was real or not. Maybe, I thought, I dreamed it out of my desire for my friend to truly be happy and know peace."

I stood up, walked over to the rail and all I could think about was my privacy that was invaded**. **I know that I should not have thoughts like this**,** but it was only natural. "I knew about Lady Galadriel watching me, but I had no idea that you were dreaming about me**. **Do you elves always spy on people that you say you love. How do I know that Haldir has not been watching me all this time or was this some great plan to get him a wife?"

Lyndia sat up very straight and got very stern with me. "Shashuwan Shane, I find that I already love you like a daughter. I had no control of the dreams that the Valar sent to me, yes maybe the Lady did spy but it was out of concern for you and nothing more."

She relaxed in her chair, "I still do not know why you are here**,** but the Lord and Lady are the only ones that know the reason why. I am sorry I cannot tell you more. But I do know that what is happening or whatever has happened between you and Haldir only has to do with the two of you. Do you understand?"

"Lyndia, I am sorry for everything I have said, but it all makes no sense to me at all, I just want to know why?"

"Shashuwan you are tired why don't you lie down and I will wake you when it is time for Haldir to be tended to."

I admitted to myself that I was very tired and I needed to close my eyes for just a little while, "Yes that would be nice thank you, Lyndia."

She walked towards me and gave me a hug**. **It reminded me of my mother in so many ways. She then went to the table**,** removed the dinner tray and left. I checked on Haldir before I lie down to get my rest. He was sound asleep and he looked so handsome I could not resist a small kiss on the lips to let him know I was here.

I lay on the chaise and closed my eyes but I did not sleep long**.** I kept hearing Haldir in my head**.** I awoke up to check on and was happy to find him at least semi-conscious. I lit a candle and sat next to him, "Haldir what is wrong, why are you awake?" I touched his hand**. **He felt so cold! "You are freezing**,** I am so sorry," I told him, tracing my hand across his brow. "I think I know what I have to do. You explained it to me one before."

I changed into my gown and returned to Haldir where he lied shivering. I removed the pillows that helped support him and gently got in bed behind him**. **He relaxed against me; I covered us with the blankets and put my arm around his waist.

He went back to sleep and his shivering ceased. As for me I could not sleep**.** I lay there awake**,** thinking about him and how laying this close to him feeling his body next to mine. You would think I would be shaken or have some kind of reaction but I wasn't**. **I was at peace being with him; like it was meant to be.

There was a knock at my door**.** I gently placed the pillows between myself and Haldir and pulled the blankets over his shoulder. I answered the door and quickly saw it was Lyndia. . "Is it time already?" I asked, as I stifled a yawn.

"Yes it is**.** Did you not sleep well?"

I let her in, "Not long enough**,** but you are here so let's get started**. **Can you prepare the herbal medicine pouch and the tea? I need to put my robe on and scrub my hands**.**" She gave me a nod and started.

I put my robe on, pulled back my hair and scrubbed my hands and arms**. **By thetime I returned**,** Lord Elrond was there.

"Lord Elrond, good evening andhow is your son? I hope he is doing well**.**"

"Yes, he is and how is Haldir fairing?"

"We are ready to change the herbal poultice for the third time**.** The second time when we changed it was still covered in the poison I am hoping that there will be an improvement. He has not awakened so I was going to try and change it right away would you like to…"

"No, you continue I am sure he is expecting your touch and not anyone else."

Lyndia had prepared everything and Haldir still had not awakened we started**. **We followed the same process again only this time I let Lord Elrond examine theused dressing. As he did that I continued what I was doing**.** Haldir never woke. Lord Elrond seemed very pleased. "Shashuwan you are doing a wonderful job, the poison is just above the half way mark, you can wait an extra hour before you change it again. Was he chilled at all?"

"At one point he was chilled and shivered badly," I told Lord Elrond. "I recalled him telling me how elves needed to keep warm while healing. I did what I could for him and he seems to be resting more comfortably now".

"Shashuwan, I am here to offer my assistance I know you are tired and you have had very little rest, I can watch over him while you sleep."

I smiled, "Lord Elrond thank you but I can do this. I did rest for some time with Haldir and I am honestly used to going hours**,** sometimes days without sleep. I will be fine, but thank you for the offer."

"Not at all Shashuwan, I will not worry about the Haldir since he has the best care." He bowed slightly and I said thank you and he left.

Lyndia was about to leave too when I asked her to please awake me for the changing, she nodded yes. I was very tired and I needed a complete three hour sleep. I returned to the bed, removed the pillows and he relaxed against me and this time I wasted no time as I joined him in sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

~Chapter 6~

As I slept beside Haldir I had no nightmares, just a peaceful sleep with the elf that I was falling in love with. I could no longer deny it. I did not sleep very long as my concern for him was more than over whelming. Every sound of discomfort that I heard from him told me he was in pain and that was something that I had no control over. I woke with the cool, early morning breeze. I put my robe on, went to the bathroom, washed my face and headed out to the balcony.

The air in Lothlorien always smelled so fresh and clean it was like being reborn every morning. A few little blue birds kept me company while I sat on the balcony and listened to them sing their lovely melody. I sat there and thought about how nice it would be to wake up to this every morning, clear blue skies, clean air and that beautiful sun. The only thing I regretted here was the lack of coffee; OMG how I missed my coffee. I sat there in wonderment watching the elves as they leapt from limb to limb. They never missed a branch. They had no fear of falling. It amazed me as I sat and watched them they are truly a noble people, full of confidence and grace.

While I sat there for a few short minutes and enjoyed the view I heard "that" beautiful voice.

"Shashuwan, where are you?"

"Haldir, I am coming!" I went to his side immediately and gingerly sat on the bed next to him as I made sure to not shift the mattress and cause him undo pain. "Haldir, what do you need?"

He looked at me and managed a wane smile. But I could tell, as I looked at him that he was still in significant pain. My heart ached for him. He spoke in a whisper and asked, "_May I have some water please_?"

"Of course, you can but first let's prop you up a little, ok?" I helped him sit up and adjusted his pillows. I immediately got the cup of water and put it to his lips. He slowly drank about half of the water then let his head recline against the pillows. After I set the cup aside I gently brushed his hair back by his forehead with my fingers and kissed his lips. I pulled back and he smiled, "So you have kissed me again?"

I smiled, "Should I not have kissed you?"

"No, I hoped you would."

He placed his hand in mine and I gently stroked his forearm trying to offer some kind of comfort. He felt a little warm so I put a cloth in the water basin, squeezed it out and gently caressed his face attempting to cool his temperature. Unfortunately, it did not work.

"Haldir I must send for Lyndia and Lord Elrond."

He gently squeezed my arm "Please don't leave me."

My heart skipped a beat when he asked me that but I had to send for them, "Haldir, I am just going to the door I will be right back, I promise." I went to the door and asked the guard to please get Lyndia and Lord Elrond. I returned to Haldir as I promised. I sat next to him and he felt even warmer. "Haldir, I wish there was more that I could do for you? Is there anything else I can get for you?"

He gave me a beautiful smile that warmed my heart, "You are doing it right now just you being here is all that I need."

"I would have it no other way, my Haldir." He shifted too quickly in the bed. I saw the pain register on his face. I never heard his pain but I saw it and sometimes felt it.

"Haldir, please try not to move around. I know you are tired but I hope that this will be the last time. Don't ask how I know this but I have a very strong feeling. You do believe me don't you?"

"If ….you….say …I will….believe you, Shashuwan." Just then the door opened it was Lord Elrond and Lyndia. I stood as he entered the room.

"Shashuwan, what is wrong, your message sounded urgent."

"Lord Elrond, he has not been resting well at all, after I finished the last procedure an hour later he was awake again and now he has a little bit of a fever." Lord Elrond listened to me and then examined Haldir himself.

"My friend, tell me how do you feel and I need the truth. It seems your healer is very concerned about you."

"She…tells you the truth I have not been resting or sleeping well, I…cannot control the pain anymore." When he finished he closed eyes and reached for me with his mind, I went to him quickly. I gently placed my hand on his brow and he was still very warm.

I looked at Lord Elrond, "Please tell me this will be the last time. Can you tell me that?

I know it causes him pain," I said with a quiet, saddened voice.

"Shashuwan, you are his healer you tell me, place your hand over his shoulder tell me what do you feel? Close your eyes and tell me." I placed my hand on his shoulder and concentrated on his wound the poison everything.

I opened my eyes, "I believe that he is free of the poison and that he will be able to heal himself after I remove it. This is what I feel, Lord Elrond."

He looked at me at smiled, "I believe this to be true, prepare him for the last procedure."

I prepared his tea as I have done before, carried it over to where he laid, "Haldir, please drink this tea so that it will be your last time." He looked up to me, "The last time?"

I smiled, "Yes, the last time, will you for me please?"

"Yes, for you." He drank the tea without a fuss.

"Thank you, after this you will not be awakened for anything. You will be able to heal yourself and rest for as long as you need."

He was slowly drifting off to sleep as we mind spoke to each other, _"Shashuwan you will be here when I awake?" _

"_Of course I will be here, besides I can't wait to go to your private spot again." He smiled, "Yes, that would be nice and it will happen."_

"_I know it will, shhhhh stop talking and go to sleep my sweet Haldir." _I gently leaned forward and kissed him on his forehead.

We did the same procedure for the final time I cut the two small incisions on either side, gently spread open the wound and gently pulled out the sachet. To my relief, as I had thought, it was completely clear of the poison. I handed it over to Lyndia and she gave it to Lord Elrond.

"Shashuwan, you are an amazing healer for a mortal. Please finish what you are doing so our Marchwarden can heal and I need for you to get your rest."

I inclined my head towards Lord Elrond and went on with my work cleaning and stitching all that needed to be, I brought the sides of the incision together and stitched it up. I placed the herbs on his incision and a clean bandage. Lyndia and I gently rolled him on his back I pulled the blankets up around him making sure he was warm. Lyndia was busy gathering some of the things that I would no longer need.

"Shashuwan, would you need anything?"

"Yes, lunch would be nice and I would appreciate your company also."

She smiled, "Of course I will return."

I checked on Haldir once more before going out to the balcony briefly to enjoy the sights and sounds of Lothlorien, I was hoping that my two little singing birds would be out here to keep me company but there were none so I sat on the balcony enjoying the scenery. I found a remarkable peace of mind from this small balcony; my window on the world of Lorien.

I watched as a mother chased her two sons until their father stopped them with one word. I could not tell you what he said, but they stopped instantly. He stepped in front of them and in a very stern voice spoke to them in elvish. I have no idea what he said but he got his point across to them and the pair went to their mother and gave her a big hug. I was happy to see that the elves are very much like parents where I come from in some ways; but I know for a fact that they don't beat their children, they don't burn their children and nor do they kill their children.

I don't understand why we as a people are so cruel to our children when they look to us to protect and care for them. That is the only thing I will never understand for as long as I live.

"Shashuwan, Shashuwan?"

"What? Lyndia, I am so sorry I didn't hear you, come join me on the balcony, please?"

She came out to the balcony and set my lunch tray on the table next to where I sat, "You seemed to have a lot on your mind?"

"Well yes and no, I guess." Shaking my head and smiling.

"We could talk about it if you would like?"

"Be careful what you ask for Lyndia because I can be a very complicated person."

She smiled, "I don't think you are complicated, you are in love."

I slowly swallowed my food and just looked at her and smiled. I took a sip of my wine, "Ok, I admit it I am in love with Haldir but what I don't understand is this bond that we have. It scares me Lyndia!"

I put my fork down and pushed my plate of half eaten food away from me. I gently whipped my mouth with my napkin and poured more wine in my glass; I took a long sip and just stared into my glass.

"Lyndia, I have to tell you something about what happened to me, I have told Haldir and Lady Galadriel but I feel quite close to you and think that you should know too."

She placed her hand on mine and caressed it like my mother would, "I know what happened Lady Galadriel has already told me."

"She did? I didn't think she would."

"She had told me, so I could be here for Haldir if you could not help him heal but I knew you would be able to do it."

I smiled, "Lyndia, you said you have no daughters, do you have any sons?"

She sat back in her chair and took a long sip of her wine, "My son was killed while out scouting, so no I had no other children."

"I am sorry to hear that so you lost your husband and your son. It must be very lonely for you sometimes?"

"No, Haldir and his brothers keep me very busy and I do think of them as my sons."

I smiled, "I could only imagine how busy you are with the three of them. Please tell me about them growing up?"

She took a sip of her wine and relaxed, "Rumil and Orophin were two of a kind they love to play and did not care too much for studying unlike Haldir whom always had a book and sat alone reading all the time."

"I can see him doing that, did he ever go and play with his brothers?"

She smiled, "Sometimes I would have to tell him and other times he would when they would tease him. He tried to ignore them but they were younger and did not give up so easily. But Haldir has always been a private elf but he took good care of his brothers. They are very close when one hurts they all do but I am sure you have seen that already."

"Yes, I have noticed they are very close and they do love their brother. I think it is precious. Lyndia, if things continue between Haldir and I do you think his brothers would accept me?"

"Hmm, I will tell you something as long as you continue to love their brother the way you do now, they will accept you with open hearts and arms. You will be their little sister."

That made me feel really good inside but my lack of rest was slowly catching up with me.

"Forgive me, my friend," I said as I started to yawn, "Wow, I am very sleepy I think I need to turn in for a nap for the rest of the afternoon."

She smiled, "As you should, you have had little sleep since Haldir's was injured. I will check in on you around dinnertime. If you are not awake I will not bother you."

"Thank you, I would appreciate it."

I shut the balcony doors and walked Lyndia to the door, she kissed me on my cheek and left. I closed the door behind her and checked on Haldir, he had no fever at all. He was still sleeping very peaceful. I kissed him on his lips and laid down for some much needed rest.

I quickly fell into a deep sleep. It was not long before I was dreaming of living in Lothlorien in a talan just Haldir and I, it was a beautiful dream full of love and laughter. When I woke up it was very late out but as usual Lyndia was always looking out for me. She had left a tray of vegetables, cheese and bread with a glass of wine. I lit a candle, retrieved my book from my bag and sat at the table reading and savoring my meal. I enjoyed this time alone with my thoughts and feelings about Haldir. I had read two chapters in my book just as I finished my meal, I gently picked up my glass of wine went over to where he laid sleeping. I sat at the foot of the bed, drank my wine and watched him. There was no denying it I am in love with him.

I could not fight it or ignore it. I got up, went to his side of the bed and gently sat down. I finished my wine and set the glass on the table next to the bed. I gently placed his hand in mine, lifted it to my lips and kissed it and I said aloud, "Haldir, I know you can hear me. I want to tell you something my sweet elf I love you with all my heart. What I tell you is the truth." I gently moved forward and kissed his lips. I leaned back and it looked as if he had a little smile on his face. It made me chuckle to myself. I gently got off the bed so I would not disturb him, I blew out the candle and returned to bed and sleep again came quickly.

I was awakened by the gentle breeze of Lothlorien and the afternoon sunlight. I had no idea that I had slept as long as I did. Haldir still slept deeply so I got up and went to my own small retreat, the balcony. I enjoyed theever gently breeze, sights and sounds of Lothlorien. I sat there and idly watched the elves in the trees as they traveled from branch to branch, listened to their laughter and watched them go about their daily affairs. I may not understand their language but some conversations are easy to figure out. I see an ellon and elleth pass each other without saying a word but they give each other that smile. I saw a group of elves and I am sure they were talking about their latest training exercise or what had happened along the north boarder the night before. I had often thought of going for a walk by myself but I am not sure of how they would react when I am alone so I guess I would wait until Haldir was better.

Just as I was about to think about what the other elves were saying there was a knock at my Talan door? "Come in"

"Hi Lyndia, I am on the balcony come join me." She came out to the balcony and sat my tray on the little table next to wear I sat.

"Lyndia, thank you for my dinner I enjoyed it.

"You are welcome, how is Haldir?"

"He seems to have slept peacefully all night."

"Good I am happy to hear that! Come eat your lunch before it gets cold. Saelanu and Lord Elrond will be here to see about Haldir later this afternoon."

I was just sitting at the table when she told me about Saelanu, "Hmm? That is strange I wonder why, considering Lord Elrond consulted with me?"

"He knows that you have done an excellent job, but he is our Chief Healer and the care of our Marchwarden is very important to him and Lothlorien. Let us not forget that he is the eldest son of our Lord and Lady."

"I understand. If it were me I would do the same thing. Thank you."

"I will prepare your bath and return with a dress for you."

"Lyndia, I know you won't be alone when you return, but could you please ask them to be as quiet as possible? I don't want him to be disturbed at all."

"I will let them know."

She left the room and I was left to reflect on my feelings about Haldir whom I have fallen in love with and I had told him_. _

"_I hope I have done the right thing by telling him, but who am I kidding?" I asked myself harshly. "This will never work between us! It's not like we live in two different states or countries? We live in two different universes, times or whatever you want to call it but I just don't see it happening! How I can be in love with such a man… uh….elf as him? But I do love him and I am not taking it back! Damn I wish Katara was here..."_

"Lady Shashuwan, excuse me?" a young elf maiden said.

"Yes, I am sorry I did not hear you."

"Your bath is ready, Lyndia will be here soon and may I take your tray?"

"Yes, thank you. Could you please have Lyndia bring me a pot of tea a little later?"

She left and I checked on Haldir one more time before my bath. His color was better and there was no fever, I was very thankful for that. I sat there and lightly stroked his face.

"_My dearest Haldir__, __you now know my true feelings for you__. __What am I to do_?" I asked silently. I kissed his cheek and went to take my bath before Lyndia returned. The water felt so soothing, I don't know what they put in their baths but it was wonderful. I lay back in the tub and dreamed of Haldir but this was different. I saw the fight from last night and how he was injured. He so fought bravely but still I did not like seeing this.

"Shashuwan, Shashuwan?"

"Lyndia, you scared me!"

"What is wrong did you have a bad dream?"

"I..I'd rather not say till I talk with Lady Galadriel."

"As you wish but you must hurry Saelanu and Lord Elrond will be here soon."

"Thank you, I will be ready."

She left and I quickly got out of the tub, dried off, wrapped my hair in a towel, applied the oils that she had left for me and got dressed. It was a very beautiful dress the long bottom part of the dress was blue and the top part looked a like blue vest with a white long sleeve tee underneath the blue vest that tied in the front. It was cut too low in the front for my taste, but still it was beautiful. I stepped out on the balcony to dry my hair.

_Well Shash you have been here now 7 days and you have managed to fall in love with an elf, now what? I don't know this is all so fast. Now Shashuwan Shane, you know what Katara would say; "Take a chance Vampira, just give love a chance for once stop being so cautions"._

"Shashuwan, Saelanu is here to see the Marchwarden."

"Yes, please let him in."

"Saelanu, I am so happy to see you please come in. Where is Lord Elrond?"

"Lady Shashuwan," he said with a slight bow, "Lord Elrond is with his son and he saw no need to be here. He told me you have been doing a wonderful job as Haldir's healer."

"Thank you, Saelanu."

"How is Haldir fairing today?"

"He is much better today but you may check him for yourself if you would like."

Saelanu, started to examine Haldir paying careful attention to his shoulder, he unwrapped his shoulder to check the wound, he examined the incision and rewrapped it. From there he checked his thigh doing the same I sat in a chair on the other side of the bed as I watched his every move over what was mine. You may say strange or you may think being territorial?

He walked out to the balcony and motioned for me to follow him.

"Yes Saelanu, is there something wrong?"

"No there is nothing wrong you did a remarkable job like I said before, it would be an honor to have you working by my side. That is if the Marchwarden would not mind."

I was taken back by what he said, "Why would you even think that would happen Saelanu?"

"I felt how protective you are of our Marchwarden and the other feelings you have for him"

A smile appeared on his face. Trying to bring no attention to what he said, "Saelanu, may I ask a favor of you?"

"Yes anything Lady Shashuwan."

"I have to go see Lady Galadriel. It's very important. Could you stay with Haldir till I return? I promise I won't be long."

He inclined his head, "Of course I will stay. Please go and see Lady Galadriel."

"Thank you, I will return soon." I was about to leave the room when I returned to Haldir and softly kissed him on the check and whispered in his ear. "Haldir, I will return as soon as possible."

I went to The Lady's study and just before I knocked she called out to me. "Shashuwan, please come in. I was expecting you."

I shook my head, "So you know why I am here, you know what I saw?"

"Yes, I do. Your connection with my son is growing stronger every day, it is amazing."

"Amazing why would you say that? I see nothing amazing about what I saw, I don't like seeing him harmed any way!"

"I know you don't but you and Haldir have s special affinity one that I have not seen in quite some time."

"But why am I seeing this, seeing him in battle?"

She smiled, "You love him Shashuwan?"

I stood there not believing what I had just heard her say. "I….I can't lie especially to you considering you already know that answer. Yes I am in love with Haldir."

She smiled, "I expected it, I can feel it."

Right before I started to talk I softly heard Haldir in my head. "_Shash, where are you?"_

"I must go but I have one question, does he feel the same about me?"

"Patience, Shashuwan. Everything will come to light tomorrow."

I bowed and left her study, _I will never understand the elves in Lothlorien they are a very patient people they never seem to be in a rush, I guess that is what happens when you are immortal._ When I returned he was still sleep.

"Lady Shashuwan, he called out for you but he has not awakened."

"Thank you Saelanu."

Just as Saelanu had left Lyndia return with my pot of hot tea, "Thank you, Lyndia is it possible I could get a vial of the healing rubbing oil Saelanu mentioned? And could you warm it a little and also bring some towels?"

She left the room to get the things I had requested. I sat in the chair next to the bed, just watching his chest rise and fall; I gently swept his hair from his face. _He so perfect, so handsome how can I let my insecurities get in the way of being with him? He is what I have been looking for all my life. When I am with him I don't have that feeling of missing something or that fear. It's as if we belong together. So what if he is over 4,000 years old, immortal and an elf? He has feelings and needs just like me. _

"Oh, Shash, stop it you are being an idiot and you are acting like a school girl with a crush and that you are not, so get over it, but I love him and that is not foolish."

"Shashuwan, Excuse me Shashuwan?"

"Yes? Lyndia, I am sorry."

"Do you always talk to yourself like that? I thought there was someone else in the room with you besides Haldir."

"No, it's just me talking through some things on my mind, I do that a lot so when you hear me just ignore me, ok?"

She looked a little uneasy with it, "As you wish Shashuwan but I have never heard anyone hold a conversation with themselves like you do?"

"Well again if you know I am alone and you hear me, just ignore me."

She smiled, "As you would say, not a problem. I have the vial of oil that you wanted and the towels."

"Thank you, is there anything else, Lyndia?"

"Nothing, I will check in on you later."

She left and I uncovered Haldir legs, poured the oil on my hands and rubbed them together and started with his feet gently massaged his toes then his feet and up his legs as far as I would let myself go. I wiped my oily hands off on the near-by towel. I un wrapped the bandage around his thigh and to my surprise it was almost completely healed. I had never seen anything like that before! The men and woman on the medical board would be astonished with this, but then this was something that they never needed to know about and never will.

I then massaged his left arm and started with his fingers and went up his strong arms that once held me so tight. From there I gently massaged his neck and chest. I poured a little more oil in my hand and rubbed them together and gently rubbed his chest, sides and stomach. I can't tell you what went through my mind while I touched him but it was almost like exploring him. But I did this to help his healing not for my enjoyment. Although I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that I was pleased to be able to bring some comfort to him. I removed the bandage his left shoulder. As gently as I could I rubbed the healing oil on his fingers from there to his elbow as I painstakingly massaged each muscle group thoroughly. When I finished I had to admit I was a little tired. I drank two cups of tea and laid on the chaise lounge for a nap.

I awoke to knocking on my door, I went to answer it, "Lyndia what can I do for you?"

"You were asleep? I did not know please forgive me."

"No I am fine. What did you need?"

"Lady Galadriel would like for you to join her for dinner just the two of you. I will stay with Haldir.

"Well thank you but I did not know I had slept that long."

"Yes, it is close to dinner."

"I must have been exhausted, thank you for waking me and for staying with Haldir. If he should wake please come and get me.'

"Of course I will and she is waiting in the garden for you. She thought it would be more relaxing for you." I left the room to have dinner with Lady Galadriel. It was a beautiful evening for a dinner in the garden."

"Shashuwan, I am happy you are able to join me for dinner this evening."

"Well thank you for the invitation. It was very sweet of you."

We sat at the table and she motioned for them to serve us. Dinner consisted of a salad, fish and wine.

"Lady Galadriel, I tend to doubt you invited me out here just to have dinner or did you?"

"There is nothing wrong with a mother having dinner with a woman who is in love with her son is there?"

"No, there isn't but what is the other reason?"

"I wanted you to tell me about your father?"

"Why my father I have already told you about him? That just seems like an odd request even for you?"

"I know but I need to know what you remember about him?

"Ok, if you insist he was very tall, with long beautiful black hair and black piercing eyes. His facial features were warm and very inviting, but if you ever crossed him it was nothing nice at all. My father worked as "Head of Security" for a very well to do company and he was very good and what he did."

"Is that what you wanted to know or did you want to know something other than that?"

"Did he ever tell you of any family or were he hailed from?

"No he did not talk about his family at all. I always presumed they were dead."

She seemed a little taken back by what I said but I could not figure out why she was so bothered by it. "You said that your parents died when you were 14 years of age?"

"Yes it was very sudden. It literally torn my world apart I have never felt so alone as I did when it happened. But I thank God for my Aunt Chloe if it had not been for her I don't think I would have made it."

"So you and your Aunt are very close?"

"Yes, we are very close indeed she always knew what I was thinking or what was going on inside of me." It was getting late and I started yawning.

"I know you must be tired but I want to say you thank you for taking such good care of my son and I understand how difficult it was for you to be that close to him the way you were. Again thank you."

"You don't have to thank me but I do have a question for you."

"I know what you are going to ask and yes you can go back when you are ready."

"Thank you, not that I want to ever leave, but I do have responsibilities. Well thank you for the dinner."

I returned to my room still thinking about my conversation with the Lady and relieved to know that I can return home when it was time. "Lyndia thank you for sitting with him did he wake?

"No. He did call for you, but did not wake and his brothers came by to visit with him also."

"Well thank you for staying with him and I also know that the visit with his brothers made him feel even better also. I think I will change and go to bed now."

"Would you like for me to close the balcony doors for you on my way out?"

"No, I can take care of that, but do you think you might be able to bring me something to help me sleep or just relax me, please?"

"Of course, I will be back in a few minutes."

_I really love Lyndia she has been so sweet and kind to me in every way. I will miss her when I leave, but not more than I will my love Haldir. _I closed the balcony doors sat at the table waiting for my tea and wishing Haldir would come back to me.

"Shashuwan, I have your tea."

I smiled, "Thank you Lyndia."

"Shashuwan may I sit and talk with you?"

"Lyndia nothing would make me happier, please sit."

"I have noticed that you seem stressed, more tired, than usual is there anything I can help you with or need?"

"Lyndia, sometimes I feel like I must always prove myself to others and if it was not just that Lady Galadriel asked me questions about my father; I don't understand why she needed to know?"

Oh and then there is her response as to why, "All your questions will be answered tomorrow. Why is it I can never get a straight answer? And then there is Haldir I have been so worried about him I just want him to come back to me."

"You are under a lot of stress right now and I wish I had answers for you but I don't. Maybe the tea can help you relax."

"That would be great considering I am supposed to be on vacation and relaxing. Lyndia, I would really appreciate that."

I finished my tea handed Lyndia my cup and she kissed me on my forehead, "I am here for you always.

She left and I changed into my gown blew out the candles and went to bed. I thought about the conversation with Lady Galadriel_. _

_Why did she want to know so much about my father? Why did everything have to seem so mysterious? I am used to hard facts; illnesses, treatments and cures. I don't do well with mysteries. Perhaps if I did I would be able to figure out why so many things have happened to me in the last year that has totally altered my life. I sighed. __Maybe after tomorrow I will understand. I laid there awake for some time as I thought about all that has happened since I arrived here and still not knowing why_.

I kissed Haldir on his cheek and softly whispered in his ear, "Haldir please come back to me, I need you."

I curled up next to him and fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**~Chapter 7~**

That next morning when I woke Haldir was sitting up on the side of the bed. I gently caressed his back and said his name, "Haldir?" No answer**, **so I slowly got out of bed and knelt in front of him**.** I placed my hand on his cheek and called his name again. "Haldir answer me please?"

He looked at me and said, "He was trying to hurt you and I had to protect you." His face was so serious, "Hurt me? Who? Haldir it was just a dream I swear that is all it was**.** Look at me, I am fine."

I placed his hand on my cheek it was like he was in a trance he blinked his eyes twice and looked at me**. **He gently pulled my face to his and over emotionally kissed me**,** then he just held me.

"Shashuwan, it felt so real, I saw him!"

"You saw who? Who was it?"

"It was James, I saw James trying to hurt you and I had to protect you!"

"My Guardian Angel, it was only a dream I am fine, I need for you to calm down, and lie back**. **You are not completely healed."

"May I get some fresh air then I will go back to bed?"

"Of course you can." I got a robe for him and placed it around his shoulders. "Put your arm around my shoulder and I will place my arm around your waist. Whatever happens do not move your right arm. If you get dizzy lean on me and I will get you back to bed. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand." He took a deep breath and stood up. We stood there for a couple minutes just so he could steady himself. Together we walked over to the balcony he braced his self against one of the pillars while I opened the doors. When I did he took a deep cleansing breath and let it out slowly. He took a couple more and relaxed.

"Shashuwan, I am sorry for what I said earlier it just seemed so real."

I turned and looked at him, "No need to apologize. It makes me feel good that you want to protect me, thank you. But I would feel much better if you were back in bed, ok?"

He smiled, "Yes, you are in charge I am ready to go back to bed but I need to go to the bathroom first." I closed the balcony door helped him to the bathroom and waited for him to return.

He opened the door but he did not look to good, "What is wrong?" I quickly went to his side. He shook his head as if he was trying to compose his self. "Are you dizzy?" I knew he would not admit it so I helped him over to bed. He gently sat down on the bed, he looked very tired. I fluffed his pillows and helped him lay down, he gently pulled me to lie next to him and I pulled the blankets up around us. It felt so good to be in his arms again**,** but I immediately went right into doctor mood.

"Tell me what you were feeling outside the bathroom, Haldir." I suggested to him, wondering if there might be some macho elf stuff.

"It was nothing Shash, just a moment but it has passed now."

"I must look at your leg**.** I noticed you were limping just a little."

"Shash, it is fine you do not have to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I would rather just lie here with you, if that is all right?"

I smiled, "I can look at it later for you. How does your shoulder feel?"

"Better, I can move it a little but not what I am use to. Shash, I am still a little tired."

"Yes, I am tired myself we can talk later. Haldir, I missed you."

He kissed my forehead, "I missed you also my Shash."

Before I could say another word he was sound asleep. I didn't mind because I was happy to hear his voice again.

Some time later, there was a knocking at my door woke me up**.** I looked to my right and Haldir was still sleeping, I got up and answered it.

"Lyndia, Good Morning what do you need?"

"Lady Galadriel would like for you to be in the garden at noon and what would you like for breakfast?"

"So, I guess today is the day."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing Lyndia, could you just bring a pot of tea and biscuits for Haldir and I?"

"Our Marchwarden is awake? Wonderful I will let them know**! **Did you need anything else?"

"No, just tell Lady Galadriel that I will be there at noon."

She left and I went to the bathroom washed my face**,** got dressed and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. I went back to the room and Haldir was just waking up.

"Good Morning again, how do you feel?"

"I am doing much better thank you."

I went and sat on the left side of the bed so I could exam his leg, as I was removing the bandage my fingers lightly touched his inner thigh and he let a soft chuckle. Just to make sure of what I heard I lightly tickled his inner thigh again and he let out the same soft chuckle.

"So, the great Marchwarden is ticklish, is this common knowledge?" I smiled.

He arched an eyebrow, "No, it is not so please tell no one that is between you and I."

I smiled, "Sooo, if I were to put my fingers on your inner thigh, say maybe inch above your scar and tickle right here would that be wrong of me?" I moved my fingers closer to his thigh and lightly tickled him with my fingernails, it was so funny but I should not have done it. He let out roar of laughter and a wince of pain.

I laughed right along with him, "Haldir I am sorry but I could not resist. That was not very professional of me but when you are better you will experience the "Tickle Monster."

I becameserious again andexamined his thigh. It was completely healed on the outside. His leg did not need to be re bandaged so I put a pillow under his leg to keep it from swelling. I put the used bandages on the table and went to the other side to un-bandage his shoulder. I tried not to notice how he watched every move I made.

"Shash what is a "Tickle Monster" is it something dangerous?"

I removed the bandage from his shoulder, "Haldir, could you please sit up just a little?" He did so immediately**.** "Thank you, I will tell you about that bit of silliness at another time I promise."

His shoulder had healed quite nicely, there was just a scar**.** I did not need to bandage his shoulder up either. The whole time I was talking to him he had this look on his face that was just … sexy, "Did I do or say something wrong Haldir?"

"No, not at all, I just enjoy watching and listening to you. Everything you do interests me. Does it bother you?"

"No I can get use to it, so don't stop." Every time Haldir and I are in that moments right before that kiss we both long to share, it seems that someone is always knocking at the door.

"Lyndia, breakfast thank you, I will take it."

"Is there something wrong Shashuwan?"

"Well, I need a favor from you. Could you please ask that we not be disturbed till I have to leave?"

She smiled, "Of course I will inform the guard."

"Oh and can you be here before I leave? And one other thing, please let his brothers know that they can come see him. Thank you"

"Of course, I will be here."

She gave me the tray and shut the door behind her, I sat the tray on the bed took off my slippers sat on the bed facing him.

"Well sir what would you like on your biscuit, honey or strawberries?"

"I think I will have honey for right now, thank you." I opened his biscuit spread honey on it and gave it to him and I ate the other half of his. After he finished his biscuit I gave him a cup of tea.

"Shash, finish telling me about this tickle monster, please?"

I was smiling, "You remember that?"

"I will only if you eat another biscuit for me, ok?"

He smiled, "Anything for you, Shash." I gave him a whole biscuit with honey and he ate but slowly. I made myself comfortable and told my story.

"Ok, when I was little I never liked going to bed when I was told to, I always wanted to stay up so I would always be very upset. To get me in a better mood my parents would come upstairs and open the door slowly and say "Shashuwan, the tickle monster is coming" and run in my room and start tickling me till I begged them to stop or I almost peed on myself sometimes."

And to my surprise he was laughing out loud it was beautiful before long he had me laughing.

"Shash that was a funny story I will have to remember that for my own one day."

"I promise one day the tickle monster will get you."

He looked at me with an arched eyebrow, "I do not think that will ever happen**,** but you may try."

"What? Is that a challenge Haldir because if it is like they say where I come from "It's on and poppin"

"It's on and poppin, what is that Shash?"

"It's like accepting a challenge and I have gladly accepted yours."

"Shash, your world is so different from mine, even just the expressions you use."

"I know and it would take me a life time to explain them all to you so I will just explain them to you as they come up, ok?"

"That sounds wonderful but could you tell me another story, Shash?"

"Only if you drink all your of tea, please." He gently took the cup from me and drank all of it never taking his eyes off me. He handed me the cup, "Thank you, Marchwarden."

"Well let me think….Ok, got one. My father loved to go camping a lot and when ever we did it was more like a class on survival in the woods. So this particular time that we went he had asked Katara's family to join us and they did, of course. We went to a different camp ground spot all the time. While our families were setting up camp**,** Katara and I would always go off and explore. But this particular time did not go so well for the two of us."

Haldir was hanging on every word I said, which I thought was just adorable.

"While we were exploring we ran across two skunks, we tried not to startle them but it was to late both skunks sprayed us. We ran off screaming back to the camp site and our mothers and fathers were so upset with us we had to set up our tents down wind from everyone. Then, they had to go a little store and buy a huge metal tub and all the tomato juice that the little store sold so they could to get rid of the smell, we bathed in tomato juice for two days."

Haldir sat there and laughed so hard I think all of Lothlorien heard him, "I could only imagine the stench! Maybe I should call you stinky now! You have to let me tell Rumil and Orophin your story, please can I?"

"Haldir! That is not very nice and don't you ever tell anyone!"

He would not stop laughing and in between his laughter he said, "Stinky, I mean Shash, I am sorry but it is a great story."

I sat there and started laughing myself, I have to admit I enjoyed that uninterrupted time with him**. **It was great! I laughed so hard I fell back on the bed and could not stop laughing. "I now know not to take you with me in the woods you may attract skunks."

I stopped laughing sat up and looked at him, "Oh really? I will attract them? Oh it's on Haldir!'

I straddled him and started to tickle him; not a lot but just enough to let him know I meant what I said. He let out a hardy laugh and quickly turned over and was on top of me. He caught me off guard with what he did.

"Haldir, I thought your shoulder was not fully healed?"

He smiled, "Just a little lie, Shash."

"Oh so you lied to me?"

"No, I would not call it a lie, call it a little deception?"

I wanted to dispute with him but I could not. It was one of those awkward moments where we were staring into each other's eyes, he slowly stroked my face, kissed my neck and he kissed my waiting lips. He pulled back for just a second and kissed me again, but longer. It was not rushed but a beautiful and tender kiss. I could barely breathe I knew there was a knock at the door and I knew it was Lyndia but I could not move from him, I didn't want to.

"Haldir….I" I tried not to give in to him but the feel of him this close to me was more than overwhelming.

"Haldir I must get the door."

"Stay with me?"

"Haldir, I can't I have to meet with Lady Galadriel."

He pushed himself up, lay back on the pillow and gently ran his hand over his head to pull the hair off his face**.** I went and answered the door.

"She is waiting."

"Thank you for coming, Lyndia. One thing I am sure Haldir would love is a bath and please could you change the bedding?"

"Yes, I will take care of everything."

I went over to the bed and sat down next to Haldir and whispered in his ear, "Perhaps, we can pick up where we left off?" He took a deep breath and let out a low soft moan. He gently whispered in my ear, "I will be waiting for you, Shash."

As I was going to the garden I was thinking about Haldir and our conversation but most of all, that kiss I lightly touched lips unable to think of nothing else.

I will never forget that kiss for as long as I live. I arrived in the garden and she was there waiting for me.

"Good Afternoon Lady Galadriel, please forgive me for being late."

"Nothing to be forgiven for my child, I heard the laughter of my son I knew it was because of you, so I should be thanking you."

"Thanking me for what, what did I do?"

"For my son's laughter, I have not heard that for a long while and it is nice, thank you."

"Please follow me I need to speak with you privately." I followed her without asking any questions we must have walked for at about 15 or 20 minutes before we came to a set of stone steps that led down to a stone basin in the middle of a clearing. She stopped at the stone basin of water and asked me to stand on the opposite side of it.

"Lady Galadriel, why am I here and what did you have to talk to me about?"

"I bought you here to tell you about your father, to tell you whom he was and what you are a part of."

I looked at her like she was crazy or something. "What do you mean whom he was and what I am a part of, what are you talking about?"

"First I need for you to see something, this is a way you can see the past, present and future, I cannot tell you what you see will happen in the future because so much can change but I am hoping that this will help in what you are about to hear."

I looked at her with some reservation and I uneasily chuckled. "Ok, you want me to look into this basin of water and I will see the past, present and future, really? I don't believe that."

She waved her hand over the water and speaking in elvish. "Please look and tell me did this just happen?"

I gazed into the water basin and I saw Haldir and me in the bedroom talking and laughing then the kiss, I stepped back not wanting to believe what I had just seen. She waved her hand over the basin of water again and asked me to look again. I did as she asked and what I saw I could not believe. My father in leggings, tunic and a cloak, with a bow and quiver full of arrows, what was even more shocking I saw Haldir with him. I could not believe what I was seeing. They both were standing there talking, I did not know about what but it seemed a little heated. My father features resembled "Lord Elrond's" nothing like Haldir's but they were about the same height and stature.

I stuttered trying to speak. "Are…are you trying to tell me, no that can't be true….no it can't be true?"

"It is true Shashuwan; your father was an elf from Rivendell."

I was furious with her bringing me here to tell me something like this I stepped back from the basin of water and pointed my finger accusing her of lying to me. "This is a lie, that is not my father, you are lying to me **tell** **me you are!**"

"I am sorry but it is the truth you know it is search within yourself and you will know it is."

I could barely breathe everything was spinning out of control then I realized she was telling the truth, I couldn't believe this was happening to me, she reached for me and I backed away. "NO…NO don't touch me why are you telling me this why now! **IS THIS WHY YOU HAVE BEEN WATCHING ME, DRIVING ME CRAZY, INVADING MY LIFE!"**

My head felt as if it was going to split open, I turned to run and she tried to stop me, I jerked away from her, "**NO** don't touch me leave me alone**, WHY COULDN'T YOU HAD JUST LEFT ME ALONE!"**

I ran I had no idea where I was going but I had to get away from her, away from the truth whatever the truth was. I ran. Was I running away from myself away from what I am? I was not aware that it started raining but it was a blinding rain so bad that I tripped and fell in the mud I got up and started running again. I don't know how long I fled but I stopped along the bank of a stream and was panting trying to catch my breath. The rainwater coursed down my hair, fell into my eyes and made me feel even more miserable. I sat down to rest, my head was pounding so hard I could barely see, I cried, I screamed.

"**Dad, is it true why didn't you tell me?" **

As if he would answer me, I got up and started running again the storm was getting stronger, ahead was a hollowed out tree I hid for shelter. I was tired and cold my light weight elvish clothing did little to protect me from the elements. My now dirty clothes clung to me like so many rags. My head was splitting; I clutched my pounding head between my hands. I rocked back and forth thinking it would give me some kind of relief. In my dazed state I tried everything I could think of to make sense of all this. The storm was so strong that the tree was creaking in the wind, the lighting was intense and the thunder was frightening, I have never been afraid of a storm before in my life but I was very much afraid of this one.

After about an hour the worst of the storm had passed over and the rain slowed to a relaxing drizzle. I am happy it did the ground in my hallow tree had standing water in it along with other little creepy creatures.

The soft sound of the falling rain was very relaxing, I laid my head against the wall of the tree to relax and slowly drifted to sleep and in my dream I saw my father he reached out for me and I took his hand, he held me in his arms, it felt so real.

_"Dad, is it true"?_

_"Yes my angel it is true."_

_"But why didn't you tell me, why did you let me go on thinking I had no other family? Dad, I have been feeling like there was more to me, another part of me that I knew nothing about, why?"_

He held me tighter and kissed the top of my head. _"I was going to tell you when you were older about ev_erything _but our untimely death prevented me. I was going to tell you were I was born, what I did, about everything but I never got that chance and I am sorry for that believe me. But I am so proud of everything you have accomplished and done with your life, as you would say this is the second part of your life and it is up to you to figure out what you want to do now, when you return home go to your Aunt Cloie she has something there for you from me."_

_"I will, I promise Dad. Before you leave I have a couple questions please?"_

He smiled, _"Of course anything."_

_"Was Mom an elf and how did the two of you meet?"_

_"I can answer only one question because I have to leave, your mother was not an elf. She was mortal. Your Aunt Cloie has the answer to your other questions."_

He gently tilted my head to see his face and he gave me that broad smile that I had missed so much. _"Shashuwan, your mother and I love you so much we never stopped watching over you, we never stopped loving you. We want you to be happy in whatever your decision is, ok?"_

I stepped back to look at him from head to toe, his hair was long and braided back he had on his leggings, boots, tunic and cloak. He looked so handsome; he kissed me on my forehead and started to leave then stopped and looked back.

_"Daddy, don't leave me again please?"_ I reached for him but I could not touch him, tears started to fill my eyes again and ran down my face.

_"My angel, please don't cry, I must, I have been waiting in this place for you and now I must go your mother waits for me."_

_"Tell mother that I love her and I miss her, please?_

_"Of course I will and Shashuwan."_

_"Yes Daddy?"_

_"Haldir go to him, he is worried about you."_

_"Yes Daddy I will."_

And in a blink of an eye he was gone when I woke I thought it was real but it was not, I sat there thinking about seeing my father and the conversation. But then it hit me that I was sitting in mud and water. "_Shash, you have to return or you will be sick."_

I finally crawled outside and it was dusk, the stormed had passed and there was a sweet smell in the air. I caught a chill and could not shake it, I looked around trying to figure out where I was and I could not so I just started walking. I miss my parents so much that I could think of no one else. While walking I paid little attention to anything around me, all I could think about was my parents and talking with Aunt Cloie. While walking I literally stumbled into Rumil and Orophin.

Rumil approached me and gently placed his cloak around my shoulders and held me. "Shashuwan, where have you been, are you all right?" he asked, peering into my face, looking for a clue as to why I had run away. "We have been searching everywhere for you."

"I am sorry, please forgive me, I was told some things and I, I needed to be alone."

"Shashuwan you have been missing since noon it is late evening now."

"I..I am sorry. I just…" I shook my head. "I don't know. I just don't know." Then as if a light bulb went on in my head, pulling me back into reality, I asked, "How is Haldir?"

Rumil looked at Orophin then me, "Oro you tell her."

Oro took a deep breath, "He has been ordering everyone to look for you all afternoon. Ada was the only who could stop him from leaving to look for you, so we must hurry back now." Another chill went through me Orophin placed his cloak around my shoulders. I placed my hands on either side of my head and massaged my temples. Rumil looked at my very concerned, "Shashuwan, are you not well?"

"My head is splitting and I am freezing." Rumil did the unexpected and gently picked me up in his arms which startled me. "Rumil! You don't have to carry me."

He smiled, "Yes, I do now please lay your head on my shoulder and rest."

I was very grateful for the compassion that they both showed me. When we returned Rumil gently said my name so he would not startle me. "Shashuwan, we are here." He gently put me down, "Are you sure you are able to walk?"

"Yes Rumil, thank you."

They escorted me to my Talan where Haldir waited, I stopped before I went in. "Is he really that upset?" Just then I heard him barking orders at some of his men.

"**HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND ONE MORTAL WOMAN IN LORIEN! SHE IS OUT THERE ALONE NOW FIND HER**!"

When he said that, I opened the door and entered the room. "Haldir that won't be necessary I am here now." His men left the room quickly and shut the door behind them.

Haldir's facial expression and body language went from tense and angry to relief and gratefulness. He quickly ran to me and held me. "My Shash, where have you been? I have been so worried about you!"

I said nothing, he looked at me and called for the guards and sent for Lyndia. "Shash, please sit. Where have you been?" He pulled up a chair and sat across from me.

Lyndia entered the room, "Yes Marchwarden?"

"Lyndia, please prepare a bath for Shashuwan she's been out in the storm. Please hurry!"

She nodded and left immediately, Haldir was so worried about me he poured me a glass of wine to warm me. "Shash, please drink this it will help warm you**. **I can't have you getting sick."

I did as he asked and before I knew it Lyndia had returned along with other maidens to prepare my bath.

I handed Haldir the glass of wine and another chill went through me, "Haldir, please hold me?" He did so immediately

Before long, Lyndia returned when my bath was ready.

"Shashuwan, please come with me, I will get you cleaned up and you can return to Haldir as soon as we finish."

Haldir did not want to let me go and I did not want him to either. "Shash, go with Lyndia, I promise I will be here waiting for you."

I looked up at Haldir like a lost child does to the police, "You promise you will be here? You won't leave me?"

He looked at me and gently stroked my face, "I promise."

With that I left with Lyndia to take my bath. While she was helping me get undressed she was humming the most beautiful song, it actually helped me relax but with that came more tears. She held me in her arms and gently rocked me, "It's alright, we're here for you. Come let's get you cleaned you up."

Lyndia bathed me, washed my hair smoothed the oils on me and dressed me. I don't know what I would have done without her. I just sat there and I don't know why, "Shashuwan? We are finished, you may return to Haldir."

"I will**, **just give me a minute, ok?"

"I will let him know, did you need anything to eat or drink?"

"No Lyndia, I am just very tired but thank you for asking. And Lyndia thank you for everything."

She left and I just sat there thinking about everything I should tell Haldir but I can't not right now, tomorrow I will tell him. When I returned to the room I walked towards the balcony where he stood looking out over Lothlorien**.** I was very nervous I had no idea what he might say**.** I took a deep breath while trying not to sound nervous.

"Hal….Haldir, I…I am very sorry about…" He turned so quickly he frightened me making me stumble backwards.

He was not upset**,** just very concerned about me**.** "Shash, do you have any idea how worried I was about you?"

"Haldir, I…"

"Lady Galadriel told me of what she revealed to you, why didn't you come to me**? **I am here for you always! Why would you not let me help you through this?"

The tears started running down my face I don't know why**, **maybe because he knew or because I was just simply exhausted, "Haldir, I am so sorry for running off and having you worry about me. I…I would have come back to you but what she revealed to me was just too much for me to comprehend. It's unbelievable; I can't wrap my mind around everything she told me."

He placed his arm around my shoulder and led me over to the table were we sat.

"Shash," he asked as he pulled his chair directly across from me. He gently took my hands in his own larger ones. How are you?" he asked, gazing into my face, looking for the answers to his questions.

"I don't know, Haldir. I feel numb. This can't be true. My entire life has been turned upside, what am I some kind of freak? Half elf and half human! What does that mean for me?"

I dropped to my knees and laid my head in his lap begging for him to help me. He tenderly stroked my hair trying to offer me some comfort. "I don't know what to think of all this, I have no idea what to do now**.**"

He gently tilted my head up wiping the tears from my face and giving me that soft smile. "Shashuwan, you belong where ever you heart leads you and I don't want to hear any talk of you being a freak**.** You are the best part of both worlds besides it does not matter to me, I will always love you."

I looked up at him and I remembered what Lady Galadriel had said about our connection and I believed her. "You do? How can you love me knowing that I am half elf and half human? Why would you want to love me?"

He gently wiped the tears from my face with his finger and smiled, "Why you? Why not you? I felt something for you the day I found you in the woods and when you looked up at me with those beautiful eyes, I knew I had to know everything about you. I will never leave your side."

Haldir helped me up so I could sit across from him and I just sat there thinking about me seeing him fighting those god awful creatures.

"Shash what is wrong, are you not well?"

I looked at him, "Haldir I saw you fighting those things**!** I saw how you were injured both times and your mother told me that our connection grows stronger and will continue to grow even stronger."

He gently took my hand as he stood and pulled me close to him, "I know this is difficult for you, I can feel how confused and hurt you are but all I ask is that you trust your heart to me, can you do that?"

He held me so tight, I felt safe**.** I felt loved. "Haldir what did I do to have you in my life? I certainly don't deserve you."

"No, what did I do to deserve you, Shashuwan?" Although his hands were calloused from long hours with the bow, his touch was gentle and sweet. He cradled my face in his hands.

I will tell you for an elf that is over 4,000 years old his kisses are never the same, he takes my breath away every time. I returned the kiss to his surprise but we both pulled away before it went any further.

"Haldir, I am exhausted can we just go to bed now?"

I went to bed and Haldir closed the balcony door and blew out the candles, he got in bed and spooned me keeping me safe and warm even in his sleep. I lay in his arms and my mind was going in a dozen different directions, I could not slow it down until Haldir reached me with his mind.

"_My love please rest your mind and trust in me."_

I gave into the warmth of my love and slipped off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next morning when I woke Haldir was up and getting dressed for the day, which really did not surprise me. I could tell he was healing nicely from the way he was moving.

"Haldir, where are you going? Why are you leaving? You promised."

I sat up in bed, he came and sat on the bed facing me. "Shash, I know I promised that I would not leave you but I must talk with Lady Galadriel."

"But why, what's done is done there is no need to go over it. Please don't."

He gently took my hand in his, "I do not agree on the way she handled this situation concerning you. I do not like what it has done to you. There must have been a better way, I am one that has never questioned her on anything but I have to this time!"

I knew he was upset and there was nothing I could do to stop him, "Haldir, can you do it later? Please? Could we just go to your private spot and spend the day?" I tilted my head giving him that look when we want something from our man. I was not sure it would work on the Marchwarden at the time though.

He smiled, "Is that what you want to do, spend the day there? "

"Yes please, can we? But if you have other duties I would understand."

"Of course we can, I have some things to do before we leave, but I will be back in a few hours, I promise." He leaned forward and gently kissed me on my forehead.

"I promise I'll be ready by the way how is your shoulder?"

"My shoulder is doing much better and the same for my leg all because of you. Lyndia is coming to see you so please do not get dressed just yet."

I looked at him a little awkwardly, "What have you done, Haldir?" He was getting up to leave when he stopped at the door, "Just a little something for you that is all, I hope you like it." He smiled and left.

_I hated that he left but I needed some time to myself to sort through what had just happened to me, I had hoped that it was all just a dream but it wasn't, my father was an elf! What the hell am I supposed to do with that? All I know is that my entire life has been a lie and that is just more mess on my plate, I feel like I am at my breaking point! I have so much to deal with when I get back home, where do I start?_ I shook my head in frustration. I knew it was all real and I was going go have to deal with the mess and things here too. I got out of bed put my robe on and sat on the balcony to listen to my blue birds that visit me every morning_. _

_They were pleasant to hear, but my mind went right back to my "messy plate" of problems. I have to tell Katara about my father and myself. I wonder how she will react to hearing that will she even believe me. Then I have to rip her world apart by telling her that James beat, raped and threatened me? How do I do this? How do I tell my best friend, my sister about what her brother did to me? But then I run the risk of putting_ _my own life in danger. I remember that day so vividly and what he said as he painfully twisted my hair around his hands and yanked me up to look at him__**, "You tell my sister, I will find you and finish what I started!"**_ _Just that thought alone still sends chills up my spine and I haven't told Haldir about this threat to my life, I want to tell him but I can't because I know he would never let me leave without him and I need to do this on my own_. _But knowing Haldir he would be upset with me for even blocking this from him in my thoughts._ I was so deep in thought I did not hear Lyndia come in to the room.

"Shashuwan, did you not hear me knocking?"

She startled me, "Lyndia, I am sorry I heard nothing, I have so much on my mind right now. Please forgive me." She sat on the chaise facing me and gently took my hands in hers. The look on her face was so sincere and heart felt.

"That does not matter. How are you?" she asked with a worried look on her face.

I managed a small smile, "I have seen better days in my life. Second to my rape, this has been the worse. I feel numb all over."

"I will not say that I understand because I can not. We do not know of such violence among our own people. It may happen outside Lothlorien, but few of us venture outside this realm. All I know is that I care for you like a daughter and Haldir loves you more than you will ever know."

I smiled, "That is the brightest part of my day, thank you."

"I have something for you that he wanted you to wear and I am to pack you a few things."

"Really, what is it?"

She left the balcony and came back with a beautiful yellow gown it was exquisite, "For me? He had you make this for me, why?"

"He wanted see you in a gown that mirrors the depth of color in your eyes. He hoped that you would wear this today, will you?"

"I will but it seems that this would be worn for a very special event wouldn't you think that Lyndia?"

"I do not know the Marchwardens thoughts he keeps them to himself."

"Well, I had better get dressed I don't want him to have to wait when he arrives."

Lyndia was packing my satchel while I was getting dressed and I decided to where my hair up because it was so warm. Sometime I don't know how the elven women wear the long gowns all the time if I were home I would have on shorts and a tank top. But then it doesn't matter, I tell myself with a shrug, because sometimes the heat bothers me and then there are times it does not faze me at all. Well I guess I know why now don't we dad.

I left the bathroom and asked Lyndia to lace up the back of this beautiful gown when I turned to let her see me, she said nothing.

"What is wrong Lyndia did I mess up the gown already?"

"No, it is perfect he will love it. Now put your slippers on and this." I went out to the balcony to keep myself from sweating and put my slippers on.

"What is this?"

"It's a small bottle of the sweet musk like the fragrance you bath in, only it is an oil just put a small amount where ever you want." I applied it to the back of my neck, a little down my cleavage.

I tried to return it to her but she said, "No that is for you to keep a present from me for you to take back with you. While I was talking with Lyndia there was someone at the door I went to answer it and found Rumil, his brother.

"Well, hello Rumil what can I do for you?"

"My brother asked me to give this to you hoping that you would wear it this afternoon."

He handed me a beautiful white pouch, I opened it and looked inside. What I found took my breath away. I pulled it out and held it in my palm.

"It's beautiful, Rumil. Where did he get it? I have never seen anything so exquisite."

"He said he would explain when he sees you and that he is waiting for you in the courtyard."

"Thank you, Rumil." I slipped the necklace over my head Rumil smiled and left.

"Shash, what did Rumil need?"

"He gave me a gift from Haldir."

"Well what is it?"

"It's a necklace. I have never seen anything like it in my life."

It was a small silver round locket and, on the inside, was another necklace that looked like it had a diamond on the end of it. It was breathtaking. Lyndia just stared at it.

"Lyndia, Lyndia, what's wrong? Do you know what it is?"

"Yes, but he will explain it to you. Come let us check and make sure you have everything you need."

I rested my hand on the necklace round my neck, sat down and cleared my head. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my love.

"_Haldir thank you it's lovely."_

"_I'm happy you like it."_

"_Like it? I love it, it's beautiful and I will cherish it always."_

_I felt his smile surround me. "Oh how I love this elf"._

For a brief moment I felt his lips on mine. It was like a tingling sensation and when I opened my eyes I was sitting alone on the balcony, Lyndia had just joined me and sat down.

"Shashuwan, everything is ready the question is, are you?" She said with a gentle smile.

"Yes, I am, I will be leaving soon and I need to spend all the time I can with him, I don't know if I am coming back or even if he wants me to, the two of us have a lot to work through today."

She smiled, "Yes, both of you need to talk. But please, listen with your heart and a clear mind. Promise me that you will do this?

"I promise I will do as you ask." There was a knock at the door, Lyndia answered it.

"Shashuwan, the guard says that Haldir is waiting for you."

"I am on my way." He left immediately.

I got up to leave and Lyndia stopped me, "Relax and enjoy, Shashuwan."

"I will try," I promised as I quickly hugged her good bye. "Thank you for everything."

I left my talan and went to the courtyard where Haldir was talking with Celeborn and his brother Orophin. His father saw me, but Haldir had his back to me. I was just about to speak when Orophin said, "Brother, she is here."

He turned and nothing needed to be said. He approached me took my hand and kissed it all so gently. Our eyes never loss contact until he kissed me gently at first but them with a bit more insistence. His full, soft lips caressing my own he didn't care who was there. It was all so magical. When he stopped kissing me, he gazed into my eyes. He didn't say anything; he just smiled. He took me by the hand and led me over to the horse and helped me up, then he mounted behind me.

Haldir said nothing till we were out of sight of the courtyard. "You took my breath away when I looked upon you, Shash."

"Did I? I wondered for a minute, but when you kissed me I knew you liked what you saw. I must say you look most delicious this afternoon yourself."

He smiled, "Delicious, I've never been called delicious."

"Well, that you are in more ways than one."

"I'm curious to find out in what ways you mean?"

I smiled at him. "You called my bluff didn't you?"

He laughed a very deep, warm laugh. "Of course I can not always let you have the upper hand, now can I?"

I just smiled not wanting to really give him an answer.

"Haldir, I know that you have other duties that you could be attending to instead of spending time with me but I wanted to say thank you. For all that you have done for me."

"You have nothing to thank me for my love there's no other place I would rather want to be."

"But you're the Marchwarden of Lothlorien. It would seem you would not have time for such romantic interludes."

He smiled at me, "What is that smile for? I'm serious."

"Do you think I am not capable of being romantic?"

"No, that is not what I meant. You always seem like you are on duty, always aware of what is going on around you."

"I can concentrate on many things at one time Shash, but when something or someone needs my total attention they have all of me, that I promise."

As we were riding, I was very warm from sitting this close to him. My senses were tingling and I felt alive. During our ride, he tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. He gently kissed me under my right ear. I could not help myself and slowly laid my head back on his shoulder as he kissed the side of my neck.

He stopped the horse and held me closer. My breathing quickened and I leaned closer into him. Turning me to face him, he slowly made his way to my lips. He kissed me passionately, his tongue searching for mine. I slipped my arm around his waist and up his back. I caressed his face. Nothing compared to this moment for me, nothing. If I ever had any doubts, everything fell into place at that moment. I knew I was meant to be with him. He pulled back and placed little kisses on my face and smiled.

"If we keep this up we will never get there," he whispered, his voice husky and soft.

I looked at him and could not seem to focus on what he was saying. "Get where?"

He smiled and lightly kissed me again. "My private spot as you would call it."

"I'm sorry, I was thinking about something else."

Haldir nudged the horse and we resumed our journey on the path towards our destination. I laid my head on his chest while we were riding and for the first time in my life I was at peace with myself. I knew I had found my soul mate. Right before we arrived, he asked me to close my eyes. We rode a little longer then I felt the horse stop moving and Haldir dismounted.

"May I open my eyes?"

"No, just lean forward, I have you." I did as he asked me.

"Ok, now may I open my eyes, please?"

"No. Will you please stop asking and just wait?"

He took my right hand in his and his left arm went around my waist. We walked about 12 feet and stopped.

"Now you may open your eyes."

What I saw was breath taking. There was a white tent with two torches outside of the tent, also a beautiful table that was set for two and a lovely meal lay before us. We sat down to eat.

"Haldir, this is beautiful, when did you do all of this?"

"This morning as soon as I left you, I asked my brothers to help me."

As I sat my eyes got all misty and teary. I didn't know that Orophin had snuck away when my eyes were closed.

He looked across the table at me in total disagreement, "I will have no tears today my love, I bought you out here to bring you peace of mind, not tears." The soft expression on his face totally transformed him from the powerful Marchwarden and son of Galadriel, to the man...no elf that I had so quickly grown to love.

"It's just that no one has ever done anything like this for me. I can't believe that you did all this for me. Why?"

He stood and walked over to where I sat and knelt down next to me. He looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "Because I love you. I can not imagine my life without you in it."

All I could do is rap my arms around him and hold him. No one has ever said anything like that to me.

"Haldir, I love you also," I tearfully whispered in his shoulder.

"No more tears my love, no more. You will never hurt again, not as long as I'm here to protect you."

He wiped my tears away and hugged me again. I felt like the luckiest woman in both worlds. I kept thinking this must be a dream and if it is I don't ever want to wake up. He sat down opposite of me. He looked so strong, but gentle at the same time. I felt overly warm so I unfastened the brooch on my cloak and let it fall back on my chair. He did the same. He sat there just looking at me.

He started serving lunch, which smelled delicious and looked wonderful. "May I ask who cooked our lovely meal this afternoon?"

He smiled, "I did of course. Oro and Rumil helped me set up the tent and Oro watched over the meal till we arrived."

"You did? I'm impressed I had no idea that you could cook."

"There are many things that I can do that you do not know about, yet."

He sat down across from me and waited for me to try what he had made. The meat was very tender and the sauce looked wonderful. I cut a piece and tried it. To my surprise it was quite delicious.

"Haldir, this is fantastic!" Next I tried the salad and the warm bread and fresh butter. "Haldir, you have out done yourself. What is the name of this dish?" I asked as I continued to enjoy the meal.

"It does not have a name. I made it myself, no one showed me."

"Well, I must applaud the chef." I stood up and clapped.

He smiled and shook his head. "I have never met a woman like you Shash, but thank you. I am pleased that the meal is to your liking."

We enjoyed our lunch and lovely conversation. It was truly an afternoon to remember. He asked me many questions about my life

"Shash, tell me about yourself growing up?"

"Well my mother and father had different views of what I should learn. My mother wanted me to learn to sing and play the piano. Meanwhile, my father wanted me to be the best in horseback riding, archery and have not only a working knowledge of the woods, but an understanding."

He sipped his wine and put the glass down, "That is good which did you enjoy most?"

"I liked everything but I enjoyed my horseback riding lessons the most. I never told my mother that, but my father knew."

"So you enjoyed it from the beginning?" He leaned forward in his seat getting more interested in our conversation.

"Well I was like most children at the age of 6 I didn't want to do it at first, but the more I participated in my lessons the more I started to enjoy it. I entered competitions and horse shows. I enjoyed showing my skills as a rider and the confidence that I gained in myself helped me a lot in other areas of my life."

He arched his eyebrow and chuckled.

"And what was that little laugh for?" I asked.

"I was trying to imagine you lacking confidence."

"Well, lately I have not felt a lot of confidence in myself, but the more I open up to you the more I feel it coming back. We can't all be like you Haldir full of confidence and arrogance, can we?"

"No, you can't." And he didn't bat an eye when he said that.

"Where I come from, some call that being full of yourself or being a jerk."

He frowned. "I don't think I would appreciate being called a…jerk, Shash."

I laughed. "No, Haldir they would never call you that, it's just that is how some people would perceive you. But once they got to know you, they will see you as I do, almost."

His expression changed completely, he almost had that little elf look in his eyes. "Shash, exactly how do you see me?"

I was a little puzzled why he would ask me such a question. "Have you not asked the question before of others?

"Yes, but I wanted to hear what you would say, please?"

I sipped the last of my wine, leaned forward reached across the table and took his large hand in to mine. I softly caressed the side of his hand with my thumb.

"Haldir, I see you as someone who has the great responsibility being the Marchwarden of Lothlorien. You are very confident in yourself and you take great pride in what you do. I am sure your days can be very long and often your work takes you away from home. You are a strong elf. You are a protector, but you can be complicated sometimes. But before me right now, I see an elf who wants to be loved, who is tired of coming home to an empty talan, who would love to have his aching muscles soothed and the warmth of his love in bed beside him. Although you hide your hurt and your pain, I can feel it. I can see it in your eyes. But I love you and I would never turn your love away."

He smiled sitting back in his chair, "You see much, my love"

"But I would never tell anyone the depth of what I see and feel. That is for only us to know."

"Thank you, Shash." He filled his glass with wine and drank it a little longer than usual. "Shashuwan, there is something that I need to ask you, I am not sure how you would respond but I have to ask."

He led me over to the lake and laid a blanket on a boulder where he had me sit, "The necklace that you are wearing, Lyndia gave it to me when her sons passed away." She said, 'That I should give it to the woman that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with and have my little ones.'

I sat there in shock, I could not believe what he was about to ask me, he knelt in front of me and gently grasped my hands in to his own and softly kissing them, then bowed his touching my hands.

"My love what is wrong?" He looked up at me and the softest look in his eyes.

"I know you may be thinking that we have not known each other long to be asking this but, will you marry me? I will love you for an eternity. All I ask is for you to be my wife."

I looked at him in total disbelief, "Me? You are asking me? Haldir are you sure, I mean…I don't know what to say?"

He did not move, "I know that you have been through a lot since yesterday and I was not sure if it was the right time but like you said, you will be leaving soon and I had to ask you."

"I…I… would normally need more time to think…"

"Hmm, so you need more time to think about it?" He dropped my hands, immediately got up and walked over towards the lake.

"Haldir, no that is…."

"No let me finish, please." I sat there not saying a word. He stood and was looking out over the lake with his hands behind his back. He looked so sexy and vulnerable at the same time.

"Shash, I know that asking you to be my wife is a big decision for you and it would mean a lot of changes for you. You are wondering if you would have to leave your work and everyone you love," he rushed on in his explanation. "I want you to know that if you decided not to stay that I will understand and that I love you enough to let you go. I do not want to but I would never force you to stay. However, I want you to know I would leave Lothlorien to be with you…"

"Haldir, will you please listen to what I have to say?"

He hesitated for a minute looking over his should at me, he gave that look as if to say 'please don't hurt me,' "All right, what do you have to say?"

I got up, walked over and stood before him taking his hands in mine. There was a slight breeze in the afternoon air and the light of Lothlorien filtered through the trees and made lovely diamonds that cascaded upon the water.

"Haldir, you are correct in saying that a decision of this magnitude requires a lot of me. Leaving everything that I have worked for and yes leaving everyone that I love and hold so dear. But, you have not said one thing about what I would gain being here with you. Haldir, I want to be your wife. I want to have all the little elflings that you want! I cannot bear the thought of being apart from you." I told him with determination and conviction.

"So if you'll still have me, it would bring me great joy to be your wife."

Without saying a word he pulled me in his arms and held me. "You have made me so happy, Shashuwan Shane."

"No Haldir, it is you who have made me happier than you will ever know for letting me in your life."

We stood there and just held each other for the longest time. It felt so delightful being held in his arms. I was content just standing there while we held each other; I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

He was gently stroking my face, "My, wife."

"Yes, my husband?"

"Come sit next to me."

We returned to where we were sat before and pulled my chair close to him. He removed the necklace from around my neck. He opened the little locket and removed a necklace that was more beautiful than the first. It was a beautiful stone that was clear and when he put it on me and it lay on my chest it sparkled. I was amazed by it.

"Haldir, it's beautiful, no one has ever given me anything so magnificent."

He sat back in his chair, "My wife come sit with me."

I sat on his lap leaned in to him and started kissing his neck, he gave into me resting his head on the back of the chair. I slowly made my way to his left ear kissing and lightly kissing him. He let out a deep soft moan of pleasure not wanting me to stop.

"We have to return to inform the Lord and Lady."

I stopped and he looked at him, "Why now, why not tomorrow Haldir?"

He had called for his horse, stood up lifting me with him and gently sat me on the horse and mounted behind me.

"Shash you leave in two days we have to have the betrothing ceremony tomorrow."

We rode with the great speed back to the court yard where his brother Rumil was chatting with other elves. "Brother, you are back soon did she get bored with you?" Jokingly he said.

He helped me down off the horse and led me by the hand looking back he said "No, just follow me, where is ORO?"

Rumil replied, "He is in the study with Nana and Ada why?" Haldir, myself and Oro rushed pass the guards up the stairs to the study.

"Nana, Ada? I have great news for you." Haldir said with growing excitement in his voice.

They were both a little taken back by their Marchwarden's emotional state. A look of concern passed over their faces.

"What is wrong my son, please tell us now!" Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn, Oro and Rumil were all waiting.

We both stood there with the biggest smiles on our face and eyes sparkled. "Shashuwan has accepted my proposal to be my wife!" Haldir explained.

Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn came right over and congratulated us with warm hugs and laughter.

Lady Galadriel tentatively approached me. I had not seen her since yesterday when she devastated my life, "Haldir, would you mind if I talked with Shashuwan?"

I thought the request to Haldir was a little strange, "Why not just ask me Lady Galadriel?"

She smiled, "You have agreed to be my sons' wife, I have to give him that respect now and you."

Haldir came to my side, "Nana, I do not want her upset at all. Do you understand?"

She nodded, "I do my son."

We went to the balcony so we could talk, "Lady Shashuwan, First let me say I am happy that you will be my daughter and I want to welcome you to my family. Second I want to tell you that it was never my intention to hurt you in anyway, I thought that your father would have told you something about him, his family. I honestly believed t you knew something of his life but I was wrong."

"Even I can make mistakes and I am sorry that you found out the way you did. My knowledge of things is vast and I try to be considerate of everyone's feelings that is when I can read their thoughts. You have the ability to hide your deepest thoughts from me and it troubled me that you did this. I only hope that you will open your thoughts to me so we can grow closer and forgive me."

I stood there looking at her not sure of what to say but I knew what my husband-to-be would have wanted, "I accept your apology, Lady Galadriel. Did Haldir talk to you about it?"

She closed her eyes for a minute then looked at me, "He was more than upset with me. I have never seen him so upset before. I told him the same thing that I told you, but he was not receptive to it. At that point I knew how much he loved you and would go to great lengths to protect you and defend you against anyone. I give you my blessing to marry."

I wasted no time giving her a hug, "I am happy the two of you are close again." Haldir said as he walked on to the balcony, followed by his brothers and Lord Celeborn.

Rumil placed his arm around my shoulder, "Well little sister, Orophin and I can not believe that you said yes to him!" he said with a wink. Are you sure you want to do this?"

I looked at them in a slight surprise, "You should not joke like that Rumil about your brother! I admonished with a grin. "I am even happier to have the two of you for my brothers." They both smiled and gave me big hugs.

Lady Galadriel spoke up, "Orophin and Rumil, I need to speak with Haldir and Shashuwan so please excuse us." They both bowed and left immediately.

We all sat at the table in her study, "Shashuwan and Haldir, I am very happy that the two of you have decided to be wed. There are a few things that would be helpful for you to know, dear." Shashuwan, here in Lothlorien our tradition is that a couple has a betrothal ceremony."

"Lady Galadriel, both you and Haldir about a betrothal ceremony, please explain?"

"You would stand before our priest, you have vows to repeat and each of you will be given silver rings. This ceremony is an engagement where in your case you will vow to return in six months' time. Upon your return, we will have your wedding ceremony. At that time, you will commit to each other. This commitment is a lifelong bonding that extends beyond death. But you will not be allowed to physically bond until after your wedding. Do you both understand what I have said?"

"Yes, Lady Galadriel, I understand I would have to return home without my love and I must be away from him for a full six months." While I understood that the waiting was part of their customs, I felt physically ill at the thought of being away from Haldir for so long. I looked at him, and the mere thought of being separated for so long felt like a knife was jabbed through my heart; I knew he could feel it and I did not care.

I heard his voice in my head, "_My love we will talk when we are alone. I know you are strong, Shash. We can do this!"_

With that said, I turned to Lady Galadriel, "So when will we have our ceremony?"

"Your betrothing ceremony will be tomorrow at noon, Lyndia will be there to translate for you and tell you of other details.

"Thank you, Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn for everything."

Haldir said goodbye for both of us. We left the study together; I was very quiet when we left his parents even on the ride back. When we arrived I still said nothing. I just went and sat on the boulder where I had been before.

"Shashuwan, I can feel how upset you are. Please, talk to me!."

"Haldir, I am sorry my feelings are completely in turmoil. On one hand, I am delighted about the ceremony tomorrow. Anything that brings you and I closer together makes me happy. But, it's just that I had hoped that you would go back with me, I don't want to be anywhere without you but if I have to I will."

"My love, I feel the same way. I have this uneasiness about you going back alone."

I smiled, "My love I will be fine, I promise." I needed to convince both Haldir and myself of that fact.

I got up and walked over to the lake to look at its beauty, believe me when I say it was just breathtaking. Haldir walked over towards me and slipped his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.

"Shash, may I ask you something?"

"Of course my love anything, just ask."

"May I see your back?"

Every muscle in my body tensed up and I turned to look up at him, "Why Haldir? Why would you want to see that...ugliness? I try not to even look at them myself."

"I want to see them I want to see what he did to you? Please let me!"

"Haldir you have to understand that this is something I show no one, it's ugly and I hate it...them… the horrible reminder of what he did to me. But you are right; you should see them."

I stepped back and took off my cloak turned around so he could undo my gown in the back. He carefully started unlacing my gown which was made me feel very nervous and uneasy. I know he could feel everything that was going on inside of me! There was no more hiding any part of myself. He stopped and just held me gently in his arms.

He tried to reassure me saying, "Shash, I am not him. You know I would never hurt you. It is my place to protect you, but if you want me to stop I will."

Feeling his arms around me and hearing his voice made me relax. "My love, please continue."

He continued unlacing my gown till he saw the scars, I felt him tense up and then I felt such a hatred raised up in him that it scared me. He softly laid his large hand on my scars that crisscrossed my back, "I don't understand how he could do this to you! He is not a man but an animal, nothing more and I will make sure he pays for each one of these marks to your precious skin," he said, as the tips of his fingers ghosted across my back.

Holding my gown up in front of me, I turned around and looked up at him, "Haldir, I hope that this will be resolved before you get there. They frown on murder in my country too," I said, trying to interject a little lightness into a horrible situation. And it felt so strange, because in the passage of a moment, I went from feeling tenderly loved, to being ashamed. I was marked with hideous scars. Who would ever love someone like me?

"I did not mean to make you upset my love," I added, now in a fearful timid voice.

His tender voice soothed my bruised ego and body. "You did nothing wrong my love, my anger is directed at him and him alone. Believe me, he will never touch you again, this I swear. My love, "he murmured as he caressed me, up and down my arms" you are still beautiful to me and you always will be."

He started to lace up my gown but not before he gently placed little kisses up the middle of my back which made me very weak. My nerves, emotions and hormones made me feel like I was on a Merry-Go-Round inside. "Haldir…please…please stop we can't."

He kissed me on the back of my neck and let out a soft deep moan, "I know, forgive my actions, my love. Please be aware of how desirable you are to me, now and always."

He laced up the back of my gown and held me very tight, "Haldir, can we just sit for a while?" I practically begged, trying to get a grip on myself.

"Are you feeling ill, Shash?"

"No, my love just still tired from yesterday and it is not every day that a mortal woman, well half mortal, meets her soul mate all in two weeks and betrothed to him." I shook my head in mock disbelief. "It's a lot to take in, but I have no regrets at all, I have never been more 100% about anything in my life, I love you and that will never change."

He looked at me and smiled, "So you are 100%, no regrets. Are you sure that you can handle my arrogance, my moods? I can be very moody at times. If you listen to my brothers they would say I am moody all the time."

"Hmm, all the time, Haldir? Well, you might be a bit surprised to learn that I have often been accused of being moody myself!"

We sat down on the boulder together, "Shash, I can't believe that you are moody?"

"Well, yes I am matter of fact to hear Katara tell it when I am absorbed in my work, I am moody and I don't like to be disturbed,."

He chuckled, "I would be the judge of that my love."

He started to get up and staggered slightly, "Haldir, what is wrong!"

"I….I am not sure, just feeling a little," He stammered ever so slightly as he turned away from me,"… nothing is wrong my love, I will be fine." He straightened and pronounced with a nonsense tone of voice, "rain is coming. We must bring the dishes in and I need to secure the tent."

Even though he was about already trying to be about his business, I help on to his arm, felt his forehead as I checked for a fever but there was none, "You have done too much my love, you should rest, I can bring them in, ok?"

He smiled, "We will do this together, as we will do things now and always."

Together we moved what we could into the tent. When I entered the tent it was as beautiful as the outside. To the left was a low table that we set our things on with a couple candles and to the right was a couch/bed that sat low to the ground, with throw blankets, many pillows on it and beautiful white fur blanket. He bought the last of our things in I started to go back out but he stopped me.

"Shash that was the last, I will be right back I am just checking to make sure the tent is secure."

He left the tent quickly, I poured wine for both of us and then I heard the rain, I worried because he seemed tired, I stood there waiting for him, he returned wet and a little chilled.

"The tent is fine. Are you alright?"

"Yes, now that you have returned. Before anything else is done, you must get out of those wet clothes."

He started to get undress, I felt a shiver pass through his body and I didn't even have to see it. I knew he was tired and had done too much. I removed a blanket from the bed and went to his side where he sat and placed the blanket around his shoulders. I knelt beside him, "My love can I get you anything?"

He said very little, "May I have some wine please?"

I immediately got his wine and handed it to him; he took a couple sips then finished his glass and returned it to me. I pulled the blankets back on the bed, "Haldir come to bed and let me warm you, please?"

He looked up at me and arched an eyebrow, "Warm me?"

"I cannot have you getting sick, I need you to be well and strong when we say our vows tomorrow afternoon."

"True, but what I need is to be close to you," I stood there listening to the storm and chill went through me and for a minute I felt as I did when I was alone in the hollowed out tree in the woods. All of the past hurt and pain came flooding back and I forgot where I was, "Shashuwan, Shashuwan?" I did not hear my love call my name but when I felt his arms around me I came back.

"Shashuwan, what is wrong?"

I stood there trying to figure out what happened, "Haldir, I … I thought I was back in the woods experiencing all that had happened yesterday again."

He was so worried about me, "Shash, it is just the storm nothing more my love."

"Just a storm, but it feels just like it did yesterday."

"No, you are here are with me now. Nothing shall harm you not like before."

I looked up at him and I knew what he said was true, "I believe you."

I changed in to my night gown and he got in bed and pulled the blanket up around him, "Shash, I thought you were going to warm me?" He said with a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his lips.

I pulled back the blankets and slid in bed and lain in my elf's arms. We cuddled and fooled around. I teased him with temping temptations. I have to admit that I can't wait to have his warm body joined to mine, in love. As we played things started to get out of hand a little, I was teasing him and he playfully pinned me to the bed like before. I slowly gyrated beneath him and he pushed himself against me so I could feel him, my gown was in the way he reached back and placed his left hand on my bare knee and slowly pushed my gown up to my waist so we could feel the pleasure of each other. He slowly kissed my neck and down my cleavage, I gave in to my love and begged him to kiss me and he did, I slowly stroked his back wanting him to enter me but we both stopped at the same time and groaned with no small bit of frustration. Breathing heavily Haldir apologized, "Shash… I am sorry, I lost myself, I should not have let it get this far."

I reached up and tucked his hair behind his beautiful ears, "My love, no need to be sorry. We were both at fault but it was certainly beautiful and I can't wait for our wedding night."

He looked down at me and kissed my lips, "And I can't wait to have you, my love."

He slowly got up and kissed the inner part of my thigh sending a chill up my spine, giving me a scorching, "I desire you look". The storm had stopped and we just laid there breathing deeply and listening to the sounds after the rain and we both went to sleep.

I awoke to the sweet sounds of the night, I put my slippers and robe on to step outside for a little while and I thought Haldir was resting. When I last looked his eyes had that sort of glazed over look.

"Shash, where are you going?"

"Haldir, I thought you were sleep I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to watch the sun set."

He sat up in bed, "May I join you?"

I smiled, "Of course, I will be outside waiting for you."

I went outside and it was beautiful, the grass looked as if it were glistening under the moonlight. My love slipped his arms around my waist and I relaxed against him. We stood there and watched the moon together.

"Haldir, do you think we could always end our days like this, just the two of us gazing at the moon or watching the sunset together?"

"If you wish then it shall be."

We stood there together gazing at the moon and I enjoying the warmth of my elf, my love, my Haldir.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When I awoke the next morning my love was still sleep which I was hoping for, so he could rest. I'm so glad Haldir has recovered from all his injuries so quickly. But I must admit that waking up next to him with his eyes open still unnerves me. I don't think I will ever get use to that part of him. I put my gown on that I had on yesterday, grabbed my satchel and went outside. The sun was rising slowly as I walked to the lake and to my surprise my little blue birds showed up. I pulled out a band for my hair so I could pull it back and clean up a little so I could look presentable for Haldir. When I finished I sat on the boulder and listened to my two little friends and thought about our ceremony.

"_I can't believe that I am to be betrothed to Haldir today! I wish Katara were to share it with me but I will tell her every little detail when I return. I must be dreaming am I? _I felt a kiss on my neck then I knew I was not.

"Good Morning, Shashuwan, why did I wake up alone?"

"I am sorry, my dear I just wanted to see the sunrise. How do you feel this morning?"

I turned to face him. Sometimes I just can't believe that he is in my life and that this is actually real! Whenever I think about it, I just know that I am very grateful.

"What is that look for my love?"

I smiled and gently kissed his lips and hugged him, "I am just so thankful that we found each other and that we will soon be one."

Haldir gave me a warm hug in return. He gently let me go and walked over to the lake and stared out across it; he seemed a little preoccupied or deep in thought.

"Haldir, is there something wrong?"

"No, just thinking about as you would say, 'our private spot'" He looked over his shoulder and smiled at me.

"And what exactly are you thinking?" I walked over and stood next to him as we looked out over the lake.

"Well, I share a talan with my brothers."

"Yes, I remember you had mentioned that once before. What of it?"

"What would you think if we lived here in our own talan built in the middle of our tree?"

I stood there in shock, "Our own talan something just for the two of us, Haldir that would be perfect!" I walked over to the tree and just stared up at it, "Haldir, are you sure you want to do that considering this where you come to be alone?"

He walked over to where I stood and placed his arms around my waist, "You are correct, it is where I come to think and meditate but it would bring me more joy knowing I was coming home to you."

I turned in his arms and looked up to him, "I will be here waiting for you every night, I will have your dinner prepared for you, your bath and warm oils for you aching muscles."

"I have asked Lyndia to come and assist you until you are familiar with the way things done here in Lothlorien and when I am away she will stay with you until I return, I will have a room built for her downstairs. Is that to your liking?"

"Yes, that is fine with me, Haldir."

"Come sit with me Shash, I have a question for you."

"Of course what is it?" We sat at the table and he moved his chair closer to mine.

"My question for you is, would you really want to live here in my time?"

"I had thought about that and the reason for me wanting to stay here with you is because I knew nothing of my father, I had no idea that he was a part of something so beautiful. I want our children to know everything about their Ada, how bravely he fights to protect them and their homeland. But my main reason for staying is because you are the best part of my life now and all else pales in significance."

He smiled, "That is very kind of you to say but I am concerned for you. It will not be easy for you things are so different here from what you said…"

I placed my finger on his lips to silence him, "Haldir, I will be find, I can learn, I can adapt to new things and Lyndia will be there for me so please don't worry, ok?"

He smiled and kissed me until he was aware we were not alone. He raised his head with a look of minor annoyance. "Yes my brothers, I know you are there I have been expecting you."

"My brother, we have Finrod with us also."

Haldir took my hand and led me over to Finrod whom was standing next to his horse, "Yes, Marchwarden."

"Finrod, please escort Lady Shashuwan back to her talan."

"Yes Marchwarden."

He led me to the horse where he helped me up on the back of it and looked up at me, "Shash, I will be there to escort you to the celebration."

"I will be ready."

Finrod and I returned to the courtyard and he escorted me back to my talan. I went inside put my things on the table and laid across the bed thinking about my evening with Haldir. I thought about our talk and his proposal. It was just beautiful; my only wish is that Katara was here to share in my engagement to my Haldir. I jumped up off the bed and went to the balcony I had to talk to my father, I was not sure they would hear me but I had to try. I sat down and concentrated on my father.

"_Father, can you hear me?"_ Nothing, I sat there for a half hour and nothing. I was so disappointed. Later after the ceremony I will ask Lady Galadriel to help me. While I sat there waiting on Lyndia, I thought about all that I have been through, all that I have accomplished in my life. I am thankful for all that I have done and all that I have overcome but like my father said, this is the second part of my life. This is the greatest part of my life because I did not end my life; instead I met and fell in love with my soul mate-the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. I got up and walked over towards the balcony. I know what I was about to do may seem childish to some or beneath me to others but I did not care, I love Haldir and I wanted everyone to know.

"**I LOVE HALDIR!"**

Of course Lyndia picked that time to walk in my talan and laughed at me, "Shash, I know that all of Lorain heard your confession of love to the Marchwarden."

"Lyndia, I meant for them to hear. Besides why should I keep it to myself? I have nothing to be ashamed of."

"You are right if I were you I would do the same. Many elleths have tried to win the heart of the Marchwarden and failed. But you have done so with little effort."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I have no idea what I did to gain his love."

She smiled, "Shash, you are your own person and I understand why Haldir fell in love with you, you complement each other. Watching the two of you grow in your marriage will be a treat."

"Lyndia, I have to tell you this but please tell no one, ok?"

"I promise now tell me."

"Haldir is going to build our talan where he goes to spend his time, in the most beautiful wait a minute I'll remember what their called…. Mallorn Tree! Please tell no one."

"Well that is quite a surprise, I am happy for you."

"You will stay with us, won't you?" With a pleading look on my face hoping she would say yes.

"I will come and stay with when the Haldir is on duty or away for the Lord and Lady, I can not have you staying there by yourself, I have so much to teach you about our traditions. But when he returns I will have to leave."

I gave her a hug and said, "Thank you."

She took my hand in hers and led me over to the table so I could eat breakfast, she also informed me of what was going to happen this afternoon.

"You eat and I will talk. First you will bathe and I have already picked out your gown for you. After you have dressed you will have visitors the Priest whom will be conducting the ceremony and the Lady Galadriel. The ceremony will begin when Haldir deems it so, he will come to you and lead you to the highest point in the city so everyone can observe. The priest will then follow. He will speak the vows and you would repeat what he says. I will translate for you, then Haldir will say his vows. The priest will then hand both of you silver rings, he will turn to you speak the vows and you will recite just as you did before and then place the ring on his finger and he will do the same. The priest will then tell everyone that, "Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien and Shashuwan are now betrothed and will be married in six months' time."

I stopped eating and swallowed, "Hmm, no kiss, Lyndia?"

She laughed, "That will be Haldir decision, but do not worry I know he will."

There was a knock at the door and it was the maidens to prepare my bath.

"Shashuwan, the gown that I picked out for you is the one that you wore when you had dinner with the Lord and Lady, is that to your liking?'

I smiled, 'That would be perfect. Out of all the gowns that I have worn, Lyndia, that is my favorite."

She sat there thinking of anything else to tell me, "I have told you all that you need to know, one more thing wear your hair down not up."

"Down, why is that?"

"You will have a head piece to wear."

"Is there anything else I should know, I have something that I need to do."

"No, I can not think of anything else but your bath will be ready soon and you know how Haldir hates to wait."

"I promise to be ready; I will bathe now and work on what I have to, that way I will be ready when you return. I promise"

One of the maidens spoke with her in a soft voice and then left, "Shashuwan, your bath is ready and everything you need is in there also."

"Thank you Lyndia and I don't worry I will be ready to get dressed when you return."

She got up to leave but stopped and kissed on my forehead, "Since you have been here I have learned so much from you and I truly think of you as my daughter. I know that you will be the daughter-in-law to the Lord and Lady but I hope what we have will never change."

I stood up and gave the biggest hug, "Lyndia, where I come from we have godmothers and godfathers, I would be honored if you would be my godmother and I would be your goddaughter. Will you, please?"

A tear rolled down her face, "Shashuwan, it would be an honor to be your godmother, thank you." By time we finished we were both crying. Being with Lyndia was like having my mother back almost and I think what made it so easy is that we both love Haldir.

"I must go and you need to bathe. I will be back in an hour or two?'

"Great and Lyndia, I can't thank you enough for everything you have done."

She smiled, "You do not have to thank me. Just love and care for Haldir that is all I ask."

She opened the door and left.

I got undressed and took my bath. The water was just right and instead of the sweet usual musk fragrance, it was more lavender, it was a heavenly scent- very pleasing to the senses. As I promised Lyndia, I did not take a long soak in the tub. I washed my hair, wrapped a towel around it and bathed. As soon as I finished I dried off and applied the lavender oil she had left me, put my robe on and left the bathroom.

I grabbed my laptop, went out the balcony and sat on the chair there. I removed the towel from my hair and let it dry. The sky was beautiful that morning and as always my little birds were there to serenade me. There was a light breeze and not a cloud in the sky. Everything seemed to have a beautiful gold tone to it that is the only way I can explain it. It struck me again how simply beautiful Lorien was, without the noise, pollution and just plain evil that corrupted my other world.

"_Ok, Shashuwan, just start making your list of things to do once you get back starting with: 1) Talk with Aunt Cloie about my father_

_ 2) Talking with Katara about everything that happened here and Haldir._

_ 3) Call Dr. Kilroy and let him know that I can not participate on this Grant_

_ 4)_ _Removing myself from future grants_

_ 5) Seeing all of my patients_

_ 6) Consult with my staff about my patients_

_ 7) Resigning from the Hospital where I work in the ER_

_ 8) Contact your Attorney and your accountant_

_ 9) Contact Detective Wilder about my case_

_ 10) Talk with Theresa about running my clinic_

_ 11) Sign the deed to my house to Katara_

_ Well Shash, that is not everything but it is a good start, the rest I will think of when I get home. _Just as I finished my list Lyndia had let herself in my talan.

She came out to the balcony where I sat, "You are ready as you promised. Wonderful Lady Galadriel and Priest Arnatuilë will be here soon, so please hurry. I got dressed and the gown was just as beautiful as the first time when I wore it. She laced me up in the back and started to ask me something then stopped.

"Lyndia were you going to ask me something, what is wrong?"

"I did not want to pry, but the scars on your back…. our Chief Healer can remove those scars, if you would like him to do so?"

I stopped and looked at her, "Can…he? Can…he do that?"

"Yes, he can if you would want him to, he would be willing to do that for you."

I was speechless, I sat down, "Lyndia, you don't know how much I have wanted these scars removed they are just a constant reminder of what happened to me. If he could do that for me it would be my wedding gift to Haldir! He asked to see them and I let him. I don't want Haldir to ever see them again. Can you please talk with Lady Galadriel and Saelanu for me?"

She sat across from me and gently held my hands, "I will talk to him myself and I will talk to Lady Galadriel about getting you here a little earlier so he could start. I will let you know before you leave."

"Lyndia, that would be wonderful, thank you!"

I was so touched my Lyndia's offer it bought me to tears, "I never thought that I would be free of them, thank you." She gave me a hug to calm my tears.

There was a knock at the door, "Shashuwan, it is Lady Galadriel and the priest go and clean your face. I will get the door."

I went to the bathroom to freshen up my face, when I returned Lady Galadriel and the priest was sitting at the table waiting for me.

I walked over towards the table where Lyndia introduced me, "Priest Arnatuilë, this is Shashuwan." I inclined me head and he did the same. I sat down at the table with them.

"Shashuwan, Priest Arnatuilë wanted to meet you before the ceremony, he was curious about you, the woman from another time who is half elvish." Lady Galadriel explained "I told him that you do not know our tongue so Lyndia will translate for you."

The priest began talking and Lyndia translated.

"He has many questions for you but will only ask a few. He is most concerned about your feelings for Haldir and your feelings regarding your discovery that you are half elvish?"

I smiled, "I know why you have questioned my feelings about Haldir, considering they developed so quickly. But I want you to know is that it was so easy for me to fall in love with him. There is no other way to put it expect to say that we have a very strong connection. Sometimes I don't even have to be thinking about him and he is there in my thoughts, my spirit and my soul. I tried to fight it, honestly I did, I kept weighing the good and the bad but the good always outweighed any bad. I would do anything for him. If I had to give my life, for Haldir to live, I would do it. My heart and my thoughts are open for you to read. I have nothing to hide, sir."

Lady Galadriel translated everything I was saying to him, I noticed that he had this look on his face and I could somehow tell that he believed everything I said. When they finished talking she turned to me and spoke, "Shashuwan, he would like for you to know that he already knew your response and that Haldir told him the exact same thing. He said, that there is no doubt that what he feels between the two of you is love. He will be more than honored to solemnize your ceremony."

I immediately knelt in front of him, placed his hands in mine looked up and said, "Thank you, My Lord."

He helped me up when he stood, inclined his head and left the room. Lady Galadriel stayed behind with me to talk.

She turned to me with a smile on her face, "Shashuwan, I have never heard such a devotion of love from two people who are so different from each other and have only know each other for a short time. It moved me and the priest, he is looking forward to your wedding and my son has picked out the ceremony that he would like for the two of you; we will discuss that with you before you leave. But now I will leave you to yourself, Haldir will be here soon." She gently kissed me on my forehead and said, "My daughter you have made me so happy. Enjoy your day."

When Lady Galadriel left I was somewhat relieved and stepped out on to the balcony to get some air, I have never spoken to an elven priest before and all I could think of before time was please don't let me say or do the anything wrong. But I guess when you are talking about your feelings for the one you love it is easy and you can say no wrong. I was happy for the time alone because I needed time to reflect and to take everything in that has happened to me. It has been one crazy ride so far!

I guess it is true what they say, _"The best feeling in the world, is finally knowing you took a step in the right direction, a step towards the future where everything that you never thought was possible, is possible." _I don't remember who said this but it is true. I never thought I would be capable of being close to any man like this again, I never thought I would fine the man for me but he is not a man is he? He is an elf, he is a warrior, he is a protector, he is my soul mate, he is my one true love. I sat on the balcony watching all the festivities down below and thinking they are all celebrating their Marchwarden's engagement. Then I thought about how much they must love him. I just hope that they accept me. As I was sitting there thinking all of this I heard his voice.

"My dearest Shash, they will accept you. Why do you worry?"

As I turned to greet Haldir, he was leaning against one of the pillars, looking very sensual as always. I walked towards him and I felt as if I were in a trance I was drawn to him, I could hear nothing or seeing anything but him. He held out his hand and I placed my hand in his. He gently pulled me in to his embrace and kissed me, I felt my legs wanting to give way but he held me up not letting me fall.

I pulled back just for a second to catch my breath. "Haldir you keep kissing me like that and I will follow you anywhere."

He smiled. "I know you will."

"I missed you also, my love." He kissed me one more time before he reluctantly released me from his arms.

With my knees still feeling a bit wobbly, I sat on the chaise. He followed me and asked, "How was your visit with the priest?"

I smiled, "My visit went well my love and yours?"

"Mine went well also."

"You mother was moved by devotion of love to you and also remarked on how quickly we fell in love with each other."

He smiled, "Is that so hard to understand?"

"Truthfully, yes it is for me."

He had a concerned look on his face, "What is so hard to understand? Are you having doubts?"

I tilted my head and looked at him in shock, "Doubts! No, no doubts Haldir. I love you more than you will ever know. It's just that where I am from someone would say our love needs to grow and be nurtured, not rushed into."

"Would you feel better if we waited a little longer?'

I was looking into his blue eyes and his demur seemed to change, "No, I don't want to wait longer. Our love is real, there is nothing wrong with the way we feel about each other. We are just meant to be with each other." I moved closer to him and kissed him on the side of his neck right under his ear and then I moved to his welcoming lips.

He let out a deep moan and returned the kiss when he pulled back he shook his head,

"I know now that it will be difficult to leave you for long periods of time. This parting for six months will not be easy, Shash."

He took my hand and we stood together, I smiled up at him, "Well just think about what it will be like when I return to you."

He closed eyes, "Like you would say Shash, no problem."

I shook my head and laughed, "You are picking up on my slang now?"

He looked at me oddly, "Your slang? What does that mean?"

We had just left the balcony when I trying to explain what I meant, "Well you are learning my language. There are many parts to my language and I will explain them to you when you return with me after our wedding, ok?"

He smiled, "Ok, Shash." I laughed because it is so funny to hear him using my words on me, I thought it's cute.

Just as we were about leave Lyndia entered the room, "Lyndia, we were just leaving what is it?"

She was a little out of breath and I noticed she was carrying something that was wrapped in a very fine white cloth. "I am sorry it took so long but this is for you, it is my headpiece that I wore for my betrothing ceremony and I would like for you to wear it."

I didn't know what to say, she handed it to me. I placed it on the table and unwrapped what she had given me. "It's… its beautiful Lyndia! Are you sure?"

She pulled out the chair so I could sit down and positioned the headpiece in my hair, it was beautifully crafted from braided silver, with five silver flowers and in the middle of each one was a small pearl. I went to the mirror to look at the headpiece upon my head, I was speechless.

I turned and looked at her, "Lyndia, I don't know what to say, I will return it as soon as I change."

"No, need to Shashuwan it is yours now."

"Mine? You are giving it to me to keep?"

"Yes. Today I give it to my new goddaughter, then one day you can give it to your daughter on her special day." I went over to her gave her the biggest hug. I started to cry, but immediately Lyndia said, "Stop or you will have me crying too! Now go to your celebration before they start wondering where you are. I will be right behind you."

When we left my talan the guard that stood outside my door stopped Haldir and spoke with him for a moment. When they were finished Haldir was grinning. "Shash, your guard would like to give you a gift."

"Really, if it is alright with you, he may."

The guard approached me, bowed and started talking while Haldir translated for me. "His name is Lenwë and would like to give the Marchwarden's wife to be a gift." He reached inside his vest and pulled out a beautiful light blue flower, it looked just like a Lilly but it was light blue.

I looked at him, "Thank you, Lenwë forgive me if I did not pronounce it right."

He smiled, he placed his hand on his heart and said, "You did well and it is an honor to be your guard."

Haldir said thank you and reminded him to come to the celebration and we left for the hall. On our way to the hall I realized I did not know any elvish at all, "Haldir, how do you say "Good Afternoon in your tongue?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, please just a couple phrases."

"Good Afternoon is 'Quel andune' and Pleasure Meeting you is 'Saesa omentien lle'."

I repeated what he said, 'Quel andune' and Saesa omentien lle." I kept repeating so when I attempted it, it would be as close to perfect as possible.

We stopped at the door, he put out his hand palm down and I placed mine on top of his, the guards opened the doors and we entered. It looked as if all of Lothlorien was at the celebration, I was so nervous, my hands starting shaking, Haldir quickly picked up on it, "Shashuwan, why so nervous? You are shaking."

"I don't know Haldir, I just am."

He laughed, "Shash, do not be nervous. You will be just fine."

Still holding my hand he then introduced me to many of his men in the guard and their wives.

"Shash, you remember Finrod?"

"Yes, "`Quel andune, Finrod."

Finrod smiled, "So you are learning our tongue? I know that with everyone's help it will easy for you to learn."

"I hope so Finrod. Thank you."

"Let me introduce my wife Tári, my daughter Enelya and my son Nerwen."

His wife was very beautiful, she was tall, slender with blonde hair and she had beautiful light grey eyes. I said "Quel andune, Tári."

She spoke in her tongue and Finrod translated for her, She said, "She is happy to meet you and if you need help with anything to let her know."

I smiled and inclined my head, "Thank you, Tári"

I then knelt down to speak to the small girl. She was a little shy at first, but then she placed her little hand on my face, then she touched hers and back to mine. She smiled, turned to her parents and asked them something.

Finrod smiled and told me what she said, "My daughter asked me why is her skin brown, Ada?"

I smiled, "Where I come from everyone is a different shades of color, some are you color, some are darker than I am but we are still all the same in many ways. But one thing is different your ears are more beautiful than mine." Finrod translated for me and she responded.

He told me her response, "She said that she is very pretty and she would like to give you a hug, I told her yes."

She wrapped her little arms around my neck and gave me the biggest hug. She did not let go, I stood up with this little elleth in my arms. Finrod had to talk to her, when he finished she kissed me on my cheek and went back to her Ada and whispered in his ear.

"It seems you have made a little friend. She would like for you to come and play with her Lady Shashuwan."

I was speechless, "Please let her know that I have to leave tomorrow but when I return I will come and visit her, I promise."

He told her and her little face just lit up. Lord Elrond approached us, "Well you do have a way with children don't you Lady Shashuwan."

"Lord Elrond, it is so nice to see you. How is your son Elohir?"

"My son is much better, thank you for asking."

"I am sorry that I was not able to see about him but I have been busy with some personal business."

"No need to apologize but there is someone I would like for you to meet, my daughter Arwen. Arwen this is Shashuwan, Haldir's wife to be."

I inclined my head and she did the same, "Arwen, pleased to meet you, I had no idea that Lord Elrond has such a beautiful daughter."

"Shashuwan, I have heard so much about you, I even heard that you are half elf. But what I am really shocked about it that you have managed to capture my Uncle's heart."

I smiled and looked over to Haldir, "I don't know what I did but I love him and he loves me."

"Maybe we can talk just the two of us sometime?"

I inclined my head, "I would enjoy that very much maybe we can talk tomorrow before noon in my talan?"

She inclined her heard, "Of course Lady Shashuwan I look forward to it." She left to mingle with the other guest.

"Haldir, may I please talk with Lady Shashuwan I believe that she and I have a lot in common."

Haldir gently took my hand in his and kissed my palm, "Yes, you may Lord Elrond."

"We will be on the balcony, Haldir."

"That will be fine." He inclined his head and I followed Lord Elrond to the balcony.

He motioned for me to sit, "Lady Shashuwan, I was told what Lady Galadriel revealed to you. I hope that you are faring better?"

"Yes, I am with Haldir's love and support I am doing better, sometimes I still find it hard to believe. It is a lot to understand."

"I would like to offer you my council if you need it?"

"Your council, my Lord, why would you think I would need to talk with you?" I looked at him a little strange and confused.

"I too am half elf the same as you."

I was in shock, "You are half elf?"

"Yes, my mother and my father were both mixed blood."

"But, but you seem more elf that anything else, my Lord."

He smiled, "I had a brother we were twins we had the choice of being mortal like men or elven. My brother chose to be mortal and I elven."

"So, you got to choose between the two? I never had the chance to choose but Lord Elrond, I don't understand how I have the ability to read people thoughts and why are my ears so different from yours?"

"I can not tell you why you have this gift or why your ears are so different, my dear. But it is almost incidental. What is more important about being elfkind is having a loving, giving heart, that matters much more than any outside manifestation. Please do not put too much stock in appearances. I am sure you know they can often lead us astray."

He gave me a warm smile, "Lord Elrond, I would like to come to you for counseling on this matter, I do have a lot of questions."

"I would be more than happy to counsel you. Be well Shashuwan," he told me as he took my hand in his. "And know, dear child that I rejoice with you for finding your love. Now let me return you to Haldir."

We left the balcony and I followed Lord Elrond to where the Lord and Lady sat talking with their sons. "Haldir, I return Lady Shashuwan to you with my thanks for our time of brief conversation."

"My Lady Galadriel, may I speak with you in private?"

She stood and led Lord Elrond back to the balcony.

When I returned to the room, Haldir turned to me and saw my concern, "My love, what is wrong?"

"I just found out that Lord Elrond is half elf and I had no ideal."

He smiled, "Shash, yes he is but what bothers you so?"

"I know it's going to sound silly to you, but… it's my ears? Why don't they look like his or yours? Why are mine so different?" I said as I shook my head. "It's just another thing that sets me apart as an outsider."

He pulled me in his embrace to calm me, "Shashuwan, I can not answer your questions about that, but I will not have you upset today. Let us go and greet Rumil.

"I believe he is sharing some of his love poetry." He chuckled softly to himself. "Or perhaps it would be better to head in the other direction." I smiled. Between his levity and arms securely around my shoulder, I felt better.

"I have a lot of questions but Lord Elrond said that he would be more than happy to council me."

"Lord Elrond is a very wise elf and he offering to council you is a good sign."

"I know and I do appreciate all of his help."

"Come let us meet our guests."

We mingled a little a longer and we were informed that our lunch was ready on the balcony. We followed the elleth to the balcony. When she opened the doors we saw that it was table for two with a lovely view. She left us alone to our private lunch. Haldir assisted me with my chair and he sat across from. He poured the wine for both of us and sat down.

"I am going to have a talk with Lord Elrond and Lady Galadriel this evening."

I was eating and stopped, "What? Are you really going to do that? Why?"

He finished his mouth full of food and sipped his wine to wash it down, "I am growing very weary of them upsetting you all the time. For now on if they wish to speak with you they will have to let me know why. Then I will decide if they should or not."

"What? Are you really going to do that and why?"

"Shash, you will be my wife and I can not have you upset every time you talk with them, your welfare is my concern now."

I could tell that he was in the "protecting what is mine" mood, "Haldir if you must I will honor your decision as always." He sat back in his chair looking incredibly hot, I got up and sauntered over to wear he sat, removed in his napkin from his lap and sat on his lap, "My love, you are my protector and soon my husband to be, I will respect your decisions and never question what you are doing when it comes to our family." He gently drew me close to him and tenderly caressed my face, kissing me lightly also.

He pulled back and softly said, "It is time, my love."

I got up and he led me up some stairs to the highest balcony and we were followed by the priest, the Lord and Lady, and Lyndia. Everyone was very quiet below waiting for us to begin.

The priest stood before us and began. The Lord and Lady stood to the right of Haldir and Lyndia stood to the left of me translating everything he said.

"We are here to celebrating the betrothing ceremony of Haldir, son to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel to Shashuwan Shane. My Lord and Lady may we begin?"

They both nodded in approval.

"Haldir repeat after me, 'Shashuwan, I give you this silver ring as a symbol of my love and devotion with my promise and commitment to marry you in six months' time'" Haldir repeated what he said and he placed the silver ring on my finger.

"Shashuwan repeat after me, 'Haldir, I give you this silver ring as a symbol of my love and devotion with my promise and commitment to marry you in six months' time.'" I repeated what he said and placed the ring on Haldir finger.

We stood there holding hands while the priest finished the ceremony.

"Haldir and Shashuwan Shane have promised to return in six months' time to be married. Now Haldir you may kiss your bride to be."

When he kissed me everyone cheered and applauded. Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel wasted no time hugging us and congratulating us.

We left the balcony and joined in the celebration, Haldir and I stood there watching them, there were couples dancing and groups in circular dances. I want to tell you elves really know how to party. They are very wise and quite but elves party and get drunk just like everyone else. It was kind of shocking at first because I had always seen them very busy attending to their affairs.

"Shash come join me in the dance it will be fun!"

I stood there very hesitant, "Haldir, I don't know your dance."

He took my hand, "Shash, just follow me, you will love it." I did as he said. It was the most fun I have ever had in quite a while. I danced with Haldir, Rumil and Orophin. By time the music stopped I was exhausted.

Haldir followed me off the dance floor, "Shash, you are tired so soon?"

I smiled, "Yes, I am and very thirsty."

He led me over to a bench where I sat and waited for him, I watched Haldir as he returned with my water, "Did you require anything else, my love?"

I smiled and fanned my still heated face, "Well just one, do you think that we could go for a walk, just to get some air?"

"Of course, we will see my parents then we will leave." I drank my water and went with Haldir to see his parents.

His parents were talking with Lord Elrond when we approached them.

His father acknowledged us first, "Haldir, Shashuwan, I hope you are enjoying the festivities?"

"We are Ada; everything is wonderful, thank you."

He turned his attention to me. "The ceremony was beautiful and as always Shashuwan, you were exquisite."

I inclined my head, "Thank you Lord Celeborn…"

He interrupted me, "Shashuwan, no more of this Lord Celeborn you may call me Ada."

I was touched by what he requested of me, "You would like for me to call you Ada? Are you sure? It has been a long time since I have called anyone father."

He walked over towards me and gave me the biggest embrace, "Shashuwan, I am your Ada now and that will never change." I hugged him back, "Thank you, Ada."

Haldir saw me trying not to cry, "Shashuwan no tears my love." Lord Celeborn released me and stepped back next to Lady Galadriel.

I looked at Haldir and shook my head no, "Haldir, they are tears of joy."

Lady Galadriel was talking with Haldir and I already knew what he was doing, "I spoke with her about us taking our leave from the celebration," Haldir explained. Which is fine with them, but both my parents would like to speak with us."

Haldir and I followed them to the balcony so we could talk in private. We sat at the table and waited for them. It is very hard to determine what is going on with the Lady of Light, I thought to myself. I have often tried to figure it her out but I have given up as of lately.

"Shashuwan, we wanted to talk with you about your wedding ceremony that Haldir would like for the two of you. But first I wanted to explain what marriage is to our race."

"Is it that much different from the race of men?"

"Yes, it is. When we marry it is a lifelong commitment, we do not ask for a marriage to end, even in death, or by the Oversea passage to the Undying Lands. It depends on the ceremony if they are stilled considered married."

I was thinking, "Even in death? I don't understand?"

"When an elf finds his mate it is life binding, that is why we asked you to return in six months to give you time think about this commitment with our son."

I smiled and placed my hand in his, "I have no plans on changing my mind in six months or ever, Lady Galadriel. I love your son!"

She smiled and looked at Lord Celeborn, "The "Soul Marriage" is perfect for them my husband, do you think so?"

"That is what my son wants, then that is what it shall be."

"Ada, Nana, what is the Soul Marriage?"

Lady Galadriel explained, "The Soul Marriage is joining in the ancient way of sun, earth, water and air. It is a very private ceremony, it will begin in front of your guest but then it moves to a private location and the only guest allowed will be myself, your Ada and of course Katara. We will be escorted by the priest to a private spot with a body of water, you will continue with your vows there and the rings. He will ask if you are in agreement with ceremony of the "Soul Marriage" if both of you agree he will leave to go back and announce that the couple will return in one soul. We will be with you to assist in your ceremony."

I was most intrigued by the ceremony, "It sounds beautiful. Haldir this is what you want for us? Are you sure?"

"When I was falling in love with you, I knew this was for us Shashuwan. We connected in so many ways and I want it to be forever."

I could not help myself but to wrap my arms around and kiss him, I pulled back, "I don't want to leave you and you know that right?"

"I do understand and I do not want you to leave." A tear rolled down my cheek and he kissed it away.

Lady Galadriel stood up to leave, "Shashuwan, earlier you called me Naneth."

"I am sorry, I should have asked please forgive me I meant no disrespect."

She smiled, "Shashuwan, I am not upset. It warmed my heart to hear you call me Naneth. I know that you will be leaving tomorrow but I want the two of you to spend this time together. You have a lot to talk about, enjoy your time alone."

Just as we got up to leave Rumil and Orophin joined us on the balcony. Rumil looked to Haldir and I, "Shashuwan, I know that you will be leaving tomorrow evening, Orophin and I would like to have a family dinner for Shashuwan, if that is fine with every one?"

Haldir was very pleased with his brothers kind offer, "Rumil and Orophin thank you, Shash and I will be there."

"Wonderful! Shashuwan, Orophin and I would be more than happy to come and get your bags tomorrow morning; they will be at our talan when you arrive."

"Thank you that would be nice I will pack them tonight."

Lord Celeborn cleared his throat, "I think it is time that we let Haldir and Shashuwan spend the rest of their evening alone."

He thanked his family and we left to spend our final evening together.

When we left we were headed back to my talan, "I thought we were going for a walk?"

"We are. I thought we would pack your things tonight and set aside a change of clothes for tomorrow morning."

I stopped him in the hall, "My love, are we going to your private spot?"

He smiled, "We are going to our private spot. I thought you would like that rather than staying here in your talan."

"My love that would be perfect, thank you." We hurried off to my talan. When we entered I stopped and just looked around all of the memories came flooding back, "Shash are you alright?"

"I am just thinking of all things that happened in this room, when I first opened my eyes and saw you sitting in that chair next to my bed. Then when you came to me injured and I was your healer. Haldir this is where we started, this is where we connected. I remember when your brothers found me in the woods and bought me back to you in this room. You were so worried about me."

He walked behind me and slipped his arms around my waist and held me, "I was so relieved when I saw you. While you were missing all I could think was "Where is my Shash?"

"Haldir, would you mind if we stayed here tonight and spend the day until dinner at our private spot? I just feel like this is where we need to be tonight. I know it sounds crazy but I want to spend my last night here with you."

He held me tighter, "I feel the same way, pack your things and I will send for some wine for us."

I started packing my things; I left out a pair of blue jeans a white tank, my white tennis shoes. I made sure my wallet, cell phone and house keys were on the table with my clothes. I also left out my pajama short set it was a really warm that night. I went into the bathroom to change. When I returned Haldir was lying on the chaise on the balcony, he had taken off his boots and tunic, his head was laid back and his golden hair was flowing down his chest. I turned on my CD player connected the little speakers and played "Will Downing's" soft love music CD.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "My love what took you so long?"

"Oh nothing just remembering. Did you miss me?"

He sat up looking at me, His eyes roved up and down my form, staring at the expanse of skin he had never seen uncovered before. He took a deep breath, swallowed and answered, "I have never seen you in this before it is different, what is it?"

I was slightly taken aback by the look of naked desire in his eyes. "They are called PJ's something I were to bed back home", I replied. "I could change into the sleeping gown if you would like?"

He took my hand and gently pulled me down to sit with him, I sat in between his legs my back to his front. He took a deep breath or two, where he seemed to master the fire that had burned in his eyes. "No, I love you just the way you are, right now."

He handed me a glass of wine and took one for himself. He lightly wrapped his other arm around my waist and nuzzled my neck with his nose. We sat there and watched the night sky and listened to my CD and sipped our wine. We talked about everything from the first time he saw me and our first kiss.

I had just finished my wine, we were half way through my CD and I enjoyed lying in his arms. "Haldir, do you remember our first kiss?"

He softly caressed my arms with his fingertips and I enjoying the rhythm of his heart beat and he breathed out a husky answer "Yes, I do, I will never forget it."

"Why did you kiss me then, why that moment, Shash?"

I sat up turned to my right and looked at him, "I had this feeling that I would not get another chance or something was going to happen to you and I wanted you to know how I was feeling about you."

He sat up, "Were you? I was feeling the same way, I wanted to kiss you but I was not sure if it was the right time."

"Were you disappointed my love?"

I turned and faced him sitting with my legs on either side of him and repeated the question, "Were you disappointed?"

He slid both his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him and my arms were around his waist also. "No I was not. Many times I had imagined what it would be like to kiss you. It was everything that I thought it would be and more!" He kissed my neck and left shoulder and I in turn was doing the same to him. I pulled back and just stared into his eyes, "You know we should not be doing this, Haldir."

He smiled, "I know but I have everything under control my love, I promise."

With that said I pushed back a little just enough to get my legs underneath me so that I could straddle him. I kissed him and gently pushed him back just to see how much control he had. "We will see how much control you have, my love."

He arched an eyebrow, "Are you going to test me?"

I smiled, "Yes, I am. I want to find out how much control the great Marchwarden of Lothlorien has?"

I started to kiss him and worked my way down his neck. I paid special attention to the area under his ear with sweet little licks. Then I slowly went back to his ears. I found his ears especially erotic, as I stroked them with my lips and tongue. He moaned, "Shash, no not that."

"No, you can't deny me," I replied as I blew my soft, warm breath into his ear. I kissed his earlobe and slowly licked to the tip of that beautiful ear of his. And then I started on the other ear, he started to lose his control slowly. I could feel his heart starting to pound through his chest as I kissed him there and headed down towards his stomach. I teased him by rolling down his pants just a little and kissed his waist and went no further.

When I did that he sat up and grasped me by my forearms and said, "Enough, my love." Breathing heavily, I was shocked, "Haldir, enough? Why? I was just getting warmed up."

He shook his head no. "You are on fire, Shash! I can feel your heat and that I can not control. My love you are different from any woman I have been with, I can not explain it."

I smiled, "You have never been with me."

He took a deep breath and hugged me, "No I have not and even though a large part of me wants to be with you now, I will wait patiently for your return."

I got up, went over to the balcony and looked at the night sky as I tried to figure out how I was supposed to leave him. The pain was consuming me; sometimes it was hard to breathe. I tried not to let the tears fall. I knew Haldir did not want me to feel sadness, but I could not help it this time. I stood there and the tears started to stream down my face, I did not have the strength to stop them. Haldir did not object, he just turned me so he could see my face, "My Shashuwan, I will not deny you, let your tears fall I am here to comfort you."

Nothing else needed to be said, he gently picked me up carried me over to the bed and I watched him as he closed the balcony doors and blew out the candles. He returned to me, kissed my forehead and pulled me in his arms and held me while I cried.

As always the best end to my day is to fall asleep next to my love.


	10. Chapter 10

-Chapter 10-

I was not able to sleep very well and neither could Haldir. I reached for him, but he was not in bed next to me. I looked to my left and saw him on the balcony; I got out of bed to join him. I stood there leaning against the pillar just watching him. He was leaning on the railing of the balcony looking out over Lothlorien in just his leggings and his hair was flowing down his back.

He looked over his right shoulder and smiled, "My love why are you awake?"

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his back. "I could not sleep, I only had thoughts of not leaving you and thinking of excuses not to ever go back home."

He turned around and held me tighter, "Were they all good excuses?"

"I thought of many**,** but responsibility always popped up and not to mention that you must have a lot of work to get back to because of me."

He smiled, "Yes, I have work to do, but you are the only one that matters to me right now."

"But, I know your brothers will be happy to have you back, won't they?"

"They are always happy when I return to take over my duties." He said with a low chuckle.

We went over and sat together on the chaise to gaze at the birth of the sun rise.

"Haldir, you will remember everything about this night, won't you?"

He sat up and gave me a hug, "I will remember everything about this day and days passed, my love." We sat there in each other's embrace. "Haldir, I don't know how to do this."

He sat back, "Do what?"

"Say goodbye to you, leave you. How do I do that? Can you tell me?"

He cast his eyes down, "I don't know Shash**.** That weighs heavily on my heart too. I am sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for it seems we are both pondering the same thing."

The door opened and it was Lyndia, "Haldir, Shashuwan, please forgive my intrusion**.** I did not know that you would be here."

Haldir went and explained to her that we both agreed to stay here instead of staying at the lake.

"Would the two of you like breakfast?"

I went and stood next to Haldir, "Just tea for me, I am not very hungry."

"And you Haldir?"

"I will have the same**. **Lyndia could you pack us a basket for lunch, please? We will be leaving as soon as my brothers come to get her things**. ** You will be joining us for dinner will you not?"

"Yes, I would not miss it, if there is nothing else I will return shortly**. **Shashuwan I was told to let you know that Arwen will be here to speak with you." She left the room and I went to the bathroom and got dressed. When I returned Haldir was dressed and sitting at the table pouring us both a cup of tea. I placed the last of my things in my backpack, zipped it up and sat my laptop next to it. I pulled out a white band for my hair and put it around my wrist for later. I sat in the chair next to him. There was a knock at the door, I answered it. It was one of his men bringing him some papers to look over**.** He waited near the door while Haldir sat at the table going over them.

"Haldir is everything alright?"

He never looked up, "Yes, Shash. I just need to go over the duty schedule. It will not take long."

"Take your time**.** I will be out on the balcony."

I made sure I had everything I needed was in my handbag and went out to the balcony to give them their privacy. Just as I was heading out to the balcony Arwen arrived.

"Shashuwan, I hope that I am not intruding but I wanted to get to talk with you before you left."

"That is fine Arwen**, **but let us go out to the balcony so we won't disturb Haldir." I led her to the balcony and I closed the doors behind us.

I offered her a chair and I sat across from her**.** "Arwen, it is lovely for you to visit, but I must admit I was not sure you would come**,** as we only just met."

She smiled, "My Ada told me of you and I had to meet the woman that had won Haldir's heart."

I softly laughed, "Is everyone amazed by this feat?"

She smiled, "Yes they are! My Ada also felt that it would be good if we got to know each other."

I let out a soft sigh, "Arwen, I would really like that but as you know I will be leaving today. Maybe we can get to know each other better when I return?"

She placed her hand on mine, "Shashuwan, I would enjoy that**. ** I must be going any way and I am sure the two of you need your time together. I look forward to your return and please stay safe." She inclined her head and she left. I stood at the balcony doors and checked on Haldir and he still seemed quite busy**,** so I returned to the balcony. I reflected on how nice it was to meet another elleth who spoke English**.** I continued to look out over Lothlorien taking in all its beauty. I knew I would miss so many things about this lovely place. I slipped my hand in my right pocket and there was a little pouch, I pulled it out and opened it, to my surprise it was a wisp of Haldir's hair. I didn't know what to say or to do**. **I laid on the chaise with my love's hair in hand**. **I inhaled his scent and remembered everything about Lothlorien and us.

"So you found my little gift to you?"

I looked up smiling at him, "I did and I love the gift but why cut your lovely hair for me?"

I sat up and he sat facing me on the chaise, he gently stroked my face, "I wanted you to have a part of me."

I hugged him and stroked his face in return. "You silly elf, a part of you? You gave me your heart; you gave me your strength and so much more."

He smiled, "Hmm, silly elf? I have never been called that before**.**"

"Well you are but I still love you**.** What I meant to say is you don't have to give me anything else because you have given the greatest gift of all, you asked me to be your wife. That is all I need."

"Is that all you need is me in your life?"

He placed his strong hand on the middle of my back and leaned into me, "That is all I will ever need**,**" I responded. He kissed me passionately in return.

"_My brothers are here." _I pulled back a little and gently caressed his full, tender lips. Sometimes I just can't get enough of him! "Would you like for me to answer the door?"

He smiled, "No you stay right here so we can continue." As he rose he pulled down his tunic to adjust it.

He went to the door and let his brothers in**.** I heard them talking but could not make out what was being said.

"Shash, could you come here please, Rumil would like to ask you a question."

I went inside and stood next to Haldir, "What did you need, Rumil?"

"Shash, will you sing for us this evening, please?"

"Sing? Well of course I will, it will be my pleasure."

Rumil gave me a quick hug, "Thank you little sister**. **We will take your bags to our talan and will see you at dinner."

They left with my bags and Haldir turned his attention to me, "What is that look for, Haldir?"

"My brothers are very protective of you already."

"They are? Why would you say that?"

"When they found out what happened to you, they were very uneasy about you going back alone."

I stopped in my tracks and just looked at him in dismay, "Why? Why would you tell them that?"

He was very stern with me, "They are my brothers and they are yours**.** I have no secrets from them. When I am away from you they will be keeping watch over you for me. I have to always keep you safe and I trust no one like I do my brothers!" I sat on the bed and he sat next to me. He gently placed his hand under my chin turning my face so he could look into my eyes.

"Haldir, I will always trust in what you say, but it was a horrible experience and I have been scarred for life. It is my shame and my guilt plus some things are just personal and it is enough that your parents, Lyndia and Lord Elrond, but Oro and Rumil? I never wanted them to know."

He knew I was getting upset and he pulled me in his arms and held me, "Shash, don't ever feel ashamed about what happened to you, yes it did happen but it does not define you. And no part of it was your fault, in any way. You must believe this and you are so much better than that; you are the strongest woman that I know. Please do not ever belittle yourself like that again. You are beautiful and you will be my wife**,** but most of all I will always love you. We can conquer anything we must face, as long as we do it together." Then he gave me that beautiful smile, warmed my heart and lifted my spirits.

"Haldir, I have never had anyone talk to me the way you do**. **It helps to bring some order to the chaos in my mind when I remember what happened**. **I thank you and I love you for it."

We sat there in a "couple's moment." You know the one where nothing else mattered in the world but the two of you. I gently ran my finger along his perfectly curved ear. A small involuntary shutter coursed through his body. "I wish mine ears were like yours. They are beautiful and so perfect."

He smiled at me indulgently, "Your ears are perfect just like everything else about you."

There was a knock at the door and then it slowly opened, it was Lyndia.

"I have your basket as you requested Haldir, would you need anything else?"

"No, I have everything that I need, thank you."

"Enjoy your afternoon and I will see you at dinner." She left but not before she gave me a hug and one to Haldir. She closed the door behind her.

"Haldir what exactly do you have planned for us this afternoon?"

"I thought you would show me your riding skills and your skills as an archer."

I looked at him a little confused, "Why would you want to know that? I thought that being your wife would be enough?"

He picked up the basket, I the blanket and left the room. He followed me and shut the door behind him. "Shash, here in Lothlorien everyone has some kind of fighting skills."

I looked at him awkwardly, "Fighting skills, me? I am not a fighter my dear, I am a doctor. I have been taking a self-defense class, since my rape, would that count?"

"Hmmm, you will have to show me your skills and I will let you know."

We were half way to the courtyard before I stopped and asked him, "And how am I to do that?"

He kept walking and looked over his left shoulder, "You will spar with me."

I ran to catch up with him, "Haldir, I am no way close to sparing with you or anyone**. **What I have learned is simply self-defense to protect myself."

"Then I will train you myself."

We arrived at the court yard and he handed me the basket while he talked with two of his men. I walked over to a bench that sat underneath the shade of a tree. I sat there and thought about Haldir wanting to train me in combat, which to me is just crazy but if that is what I had to do**,** then so be it. I sat there watching Haldir discuss matters with his men**. **You may think that I did this all the time but this was different, I really watched him. What I meant by that is, I observed his facial features, his body movement and his gestures and listened to the tones of his voice. He went from calm to a light irritation; he was disciplining them for something**. **Whatever it was, he was not happy at all. When he finished talking with them he made his way over to where I sat waiting for him.

He sat next to me and was still irritated, "Haldir is everything all right?"

He took a deep breath, "I dislike it when I give my men orders and they are not followed as I told them."

I smiled, "Haldir that is just a part of being in command which I am sure you know. Besides, your men have the upmost respect for you and they will make mistakes. Don't be so upset with them, ok?"

He looked at me with a chaste smile on his face, "Shash there are many things I will miss about you but the one thing I will miss the most is how you manage to make me see things a different way." He leaned over and kissed me on my cheek.

We both stood when our horses were bought to us, Haldir gave me a hand up as I mounted, then he turned and swung up to his own horse's back. Our ride was very peaceful. My love did not speak but his feelings said everything, he was angry, hurt and very sad, in turn. So I decided not to ask him of his feelings instead I decided to sing a song to myself.

"Shash, what are you singing?"

"It's a love song the name of it is "I'll Never Love This Way Again", do you like it?"

He turned and smiled at me, "My Shash, please sing for me I want to hear your voice in my soul always."

I started thinking, "One condition Marchwarden."

"And what is that?"

"No training in combat skills today, not till I return."

He stopped riding and looked over his left shoulder at me, "Will our marriage always be one of bargaining, Shash?"

I rode next to him and stopped, leaned in and gave him a kiss on check, "No not always, only when I want my way, Marchwarden."

He reached for me but I quickly rode off before he could get to me. He rode after me and attempted to catch up with me. Every time he reached for me I eluded him. We both found it rather fun, racing through Lorien's Forest without a care in the world.

Laughing and enjoying myself, "My love what is wrong, can't you catch me?"

He smiled, "I will catch you, my love and you will pay for fleeing from me."

I smiled, "I await your punishment Marchwarden."

I turned my horse and took off again riding swiftly through the forest as if I had been there all my life. Just as I reached the clearing to our private spot he caught up with me. We were both out of breath and in need of rest. I dismounted and led my horse to the lake so he could drink, Haldir followed me.

"Shash, your riding skills are much better than what you said, but you will still pay the price for leading me on a chase."

I backed away from him putting more distance between the two of us, "And you still insist on evading me, why is that?"

As the distance between us decreased, "I cannot always have you thinking you are in control now can I?"

He smirked, "I am always in control Shashuwan as you will soon fine out."

I backed around the boulder putting more distance between us, "I like the thought of you working for what you want."

He raised his eyebrow, "My Shash, I do not have to work for what I want from you, you will always give it to me freely."

I turned to run from him, but before I knew it he was there**. **When I turned he had me in is arms**. **"Haldir, you are so full of yourself but your words are so true, I will never deny you what you want no matter where you are, I will always be there for you." He smiled and traced my lips with his finger and kissed my waiting lips. I returned his kiss with equal fervor.

He pulled back and just stared at me and I did the same, "No more evading me Shash?"

"No more, but sometimes a little chase is fun. Am I right?"

"Yes, you are right about that Shash, now, are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am." He handed me the blanket and he carried the basket and lead me over to our tree. I spread out the blanket and sat down for lunch. I opened the basket and Lyndia had prepared a beautiful lunch for us, our lunch consisted of elven wine, bread, cheese, strawberries and two nicely cooked small hens. I fixed his plate and handed it to him with his napkin**, **then prepared mine. We sat there and enjoyed our lunch together in silence, until I felt him staring at me.

I smiled, "You are staring again**.** Stop."

"Why should I stop?"

"Haldir, I had enough elves staring at me during the celebration, I could only imagine what everyone was thinking."

"Do you want to know? I will tell you if you would like."

I looked at him oddly and shook my head no, "No, that is fine. I would rather not know."

He put his plate down, sipped his wine and then placed my hand in his own. "Shashuwan, would it make you feel better to know that every elf there knew you were half elf and that everyone there was very curious about the color of your skin?"

I looked at him a little worried, "They did? And what about the color of my skin, never mind**. ** I don't need to know but you will tell me, so go ahead."

"While we were on the balcony, Ada explained it to them in your exact words as you told Finrod's daughter. He also told them that they were correct when they sensed that you are half elven and that where you come from you are a healer but with very special skills. He asked everyone to assist in helping you learn our language and treat you as one of our own since you will be part of our family."

I was in shock, "He did that for me?"

"Yes he did, he wanted his daughter to be comfortable and not to be treated as an outsider in anyway."

"Your Ada is a very sweet, I will have to tell him thank you for what he did for me."

"I know you will."

"I have a question for you concerning my combat training."

"So you are showing interest now?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Well sort of, kind of I guess. Can you teach me how to use a staff?"

He finished his wine and smiled, "A staff**, **my love? Not a sword or a dagger?"

"Well, a staff seems less dangerous?" I said hesitantly, not thrilled at the idea of using a weapon, in any universe.

He looked at me and shook his head, "My love I would feel better if you were trained in the use of a dagger or a sword? A staff would have no real effect on any dark creatures here**.** At least with a sword or dagger your chances are much better."

I sat there looking at him, "A sword? I never thought I would have to learn to use one."

"Shash, I would feel better if you did**. **It would give you a fighting chance to survive. I will train you myself, please for me?"

It is very hard for me to say no to him**,** so of course I gave in. "Haldir you win**.** I will learn how to handle a sword and I promise to do my best."

"Thank you Shash, I know you will do just fine."

"If you so say, my love." I lay my head on his lap, closed my eyes and enjoyed this time with him. Haldir gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"Shash, while you are gone will you do me a favor?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"I want you to really think about staying here in my time instead of us being in yours."

My eyes shot open and I immediately sat up facing him, "Haldir, I have told you my decision already and I am not changing my mind! Do not ask me again, ok?" Haldir sat there looking at me not saying a word, I know I had over stepped my boundaries speaking to him harshly, but he had that look on his face. "Haldir, please forgive for me, I should not have spoken to you that way**. ** I am sorry please forgive me?" I leaned forward and kissed his cheek and gave him a hug.

"Shash, you are correct I am not use to be spoken to in that tone but the only reason I said that is because I wanted you to make the best decision for you."

"I am making the best decision for you, our family and myself!I already know this**.** There is no other place I would rather be than right here with you."

"I believe you and I will never bring it up again, I promise."

"Thank you, Haldir."

Haldir lain down on his left side with his head propped up on this left hand and motioned for me to lay down next to him. He gently placed his hand beneath the bottom of my blouse and caressed my stomach and kissed my cheek.

"Shash, tell me what would you like in our talan?"

"What would I like, bookshelves I have a few books that I hope I can bring with me, shelves in my kitchen for some beautiful pieces and a bay window, where I can place candles and pillows so I can read my books or look towards the northern boarders where you are."

"Well, you are not asking for much are you?"

"Haldir, I am sorry is that too much let me know and I will change it."

He smiled, "No, I asked and that is what you will have and nothing less. Is there anything else?"

"Well just one thing our private bathroom, close to the one in the talan that I stayed in?'

"My love, you will have me very busy while you are gone. But I will do my best for you."

I rolled on my right side to face him and kissed him, "There is no doubt in my mind that our talan will be beautiful."

"Shash, we have to be leaving soon, so we can be on time for dinner."

"But, I don't want to leave here. All it does is brings me closer to leaving you." I stood up and walked over towards the lake trying very hard to hold back my tears but I couldn't**. ** I sat on the boulder and let the tears stream down my face. Haldir helped me stand and held me close to him, gently stroking my hair. He called for our horses and they came immediately.

"Shash, I know this would not be easy for you, it will not be easy for me, but in our hearts we will never be apart from each other."

I looked up at him, "I believe in what you said, Haldir"

We mounted our horses, resolved to head back into the city of Lothlorien.

"Come Shash, dinner is waiting for us and let's see if you can keep up with me."

He flashed me a smile and got a head start on me, while I was riding behind Haldir and keeping up quite well, it was exhilarating riding like that especially with him. He was easily repaying me for evading him earlier; I did not mind it because it was just more enjoyable memories of him and me. That and he was a pleasure to look at from the back, as well as the front.

We arrived at his talan, I dismounted and so did he**.** "So you were testing me now, my love?"

He arched an eyebrow, "I wanted to find out how well you can keep up with me and how you can evade an enemy. You did very well and I would feel very safe in knowing that you can get away quick enough. This gives me a chance to hold them off."

"Always thinking safety first, Haldir?"

"Yes, I protect what is mine**,**" he said with a smirk on his handsome face.

"Yes. I understand, My Protector. I will always do what you ask of me in matters of personal safety. About other things," I said with a saucy toss of my head, "we shall see."

"Come let us have dinner with our family." We took that long climb up the stairs to his talan**. **It reminded me why there are bridges in between their talans**,** because this can very tiresome. But there are two good things you will end up with; great looking thighs and a very firm buttock. We reached the top of the stairs which led to a deck and walked a few feet to his door**.** He opened the door and we entered. Everyone was waiting for us.

Lord Celeborn was very pleased to see us, "Haldir and Shashuwan, you are here**! **Did you enjoy your afternoon together?"

Lord Celeborn approached his son and gave him a fatherly hug, "Yes Ada, we did and thank you for asking."

He gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, "_Shash, I feel your pain. The two of you will survive this, I already know." _

I smiled and whispered back, _"Thank you, Ada."_

Rumil and Oro both gave me hugs and showed me where bags were. "Thank you, so tell me what lovely dinner have you prepared for us tonight?" They both placed an arm around me and walked me to the table for dinner**,** sitting me next to Haldir. The Lord and Lady both sat at either ends of the table; Rumil and Oro were on the side opposite us with Lyndia between them. Dinner consisted of a salad, warm bread and fish which smelled delicious and beautiful white wine.

I sat there knowing I had to say something, I just didn't know what but I knew it would come to me**. **"The last time I had a family dinner was right before my parents died**. ** I never thought I would have that again and I am so thankful for it and for all of you! Lady Galadriel, I know it was not easy for you to reveal to me about my past but it was something that I needed to know and I hold no hard feelings towards you. Lord Celeborn, you have given me the feeling that I once had when my father was alive and I thank you for that. Rumil and Orophin, I never thought I would have two older brothers before and I am looking forward to spending more time with the two of you**. **Thank you for accepting me as your sister. Lyndia, the time that I spent with you is most precious to me, for it was like having my mother back in my life. I hope that we will only grow closer. Haldir, my love, you have given back so much to me, never once did you judge me, never did you turn your back on me. You gave me strength to do what I know I have to do, you have given me the courage to go on**,** but most of all you have given me your love and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." By the time I was finished speaking, I know that my eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Lord Celeborn lifted his glass of wine, "Shashuwan, I have heard you say that this the second part of your life**. ** I want you to know that Lord Elrond and I will be looking for your father's family. That is our gift to you."

I just sat there and looked at him shock, "You…will look for my father's family for me?" I quickly got up and gave him a hug, "Thank you, Ada that would be the best gift I have ever received."

He returned the embrace, "You are welcome my daughter."

I returned to my seat and dinner was served**. **It was a lovely time; the conversation at dinner was filled of stories of the three brothers growing up, some were very funny and some were embarrassing for Haldir**. ** He did not want to talk about them. I enjoyed everything about that evening, the closeness that I shared with them made feel like I was already a part of their family in every way. When we finished dinner we went to the family room to sit where Rumil read poetry that he had written, it was beautiful**. ** Haldir wanted to translate for me but I shook my head no**. **You asked why? Because hearing it in elvish was more beautiful than English could ever be.

When he finished I applauded, "Rumil that was beautiful."

"Thank you Shashuwan, I am happy you enjoyed it. Will you sing for us now, please?"

I stood next to the fireplace, "The song that I am going to sing is an old gospel spiritual that Katara and I sang in church. Where I come from some of us believe in God, the creator of everything on earth and his Son Jesus Christ, it is my religion. Just like you believe in "Eru", I believe in God and His Son and it is the one song that my father loved to hear me sing. The name of the song is "Precious Lord" I hope you enjoy it as much I enjoy singing it. I started to sing and usually I am a little nervous but not this time**.** I think it's because my heart was filled with happiness and love. When I finished they stood and applauded and gave me hugs.

Haldir approached me, "Shash, I have heard you sing before but that was beautiful and quite moving."

"Thank you, Haldir I am happy you enjoyed it." He wrapped his arms around me and just held me.

Lady Galadriel approached us and cleared her throat, "Haldir, I need to speak with Shashuwan, it will not take long, I promise." He inclined his head and left us alone. We went outside and walked the deck that surrounded their talan.

"Lady…I mean Naneth, I don't know how to say goodbye to Haldir, how am I supposed to do this? I can't do this!" I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't. She gently took me in her arms; I laid my head on shoulder why she tried to console me.

"Shashuwan, I wish I had an answer for you but I do not. But there is also another reason for the six month wait and I believe that this may help you. No matter how long or how far the two of you are away from each other the connection that the two of you share is strong and you can share everything through that connection."

I stood there thinking about what she said**. ** "Our connection is that strong? He will still feel everything that I do and I will feel the same of him? I thought that was only because we are here in Lothlorien."

"No, it is not**. **It will span time and worlds, remember what I said about when elves marries it is for all time, in life and even in death. Remember that?"

"Yes, I remember Naneth."

"Your connection with my son is eternal; believe in what I have told you. When it is time for the two of you to say goodbye, remember, sometimes one does not have to say anything." She leaned forward kiss me on the forehead, "Shash, it is time for you to prepare yourself to leave.

I followed her into the talan and she told them it was time for me to say goodbyes.

I approached Rumil and Orophin, "I will miss both of your dearly." They both hugged me at the same time that is when I whispered in their ears, _"Please, take care of your brother for me, please?" _They both stepped back at the same and said, "We will do that for you, Shash"

Lyndia sat on the sofa; I went and sat next to her, placing her hand in mine. I tried so hard not to cry and fought back the tears, "Lyndia, I…I don't know what to say to you, you have been like a mother to me and I can't wait to return to learn all that you have yet to teach me**. **I will miss you." We gave each other a hug before we knew it we were both crying**.** We finally let each other go**.** I got up to leave but turned around went back and kissed her on the check and said, "I love you, Lyndia."

I practically ran out the talan and half way down the stairs before I stopped and sat down to cry**. **Before long my love sat down next to me and pulled me into his embrace. "I am sorry," I sniffled through my tears. "I didn't think it would be this hard to say goodbye to everyone." He never said anything he just held me.

Then Lady Galadriel said the words I dreaded, "Shashuwan, I am sorry but it is time."

Haldir helped me up; Lord Celeborn offered to carry my backpack and my case so Haldir and I would not have to be bothered with it. We followed the Lord and Lady to a small clearing and in the middle was a gazebo that was beautifully lit under the moonlight.

"Haldir, Shashuwan this is where you will say your goodbyes and this is where you will meet again in six months' time, when the window opens you must past through my daughter." She approached me and gently took my hands in hers, "I know that when you return to my son his smile will return to his face and you will warm his heart again. But I will miss you more than you will ever know." She kissed me on my forehead turned and walked away, Lord Celeborn gave me a hug he didn't need to say anything, I saw it all in his face.

"I will miss you, my daughter."

"I will miss you, Ada. Ada you will wait for Haldir won't you?"

"I will if you want me to**, **but why?"

"I am concerned about him."

He smiled and kissed me on my cheek and walked back to the entrance of the clearing to give Haldir and me some privacy.

Haldir pulled me into his embrace and I wrapped my arms around him, "Haldir…." He quickly placed his lips on mine and kissed me, first it was gentle then it was full of passion and he held me tightly.

"My love, my heart is breaking and I have not left you yet**. **Oh God**,** I don't want to leave you!" I cried, as I hugged him just as tightly as he held me.

He placed his hands on my forearms and gently pushed me back so he could look directly in my eyes. "Shashuwan, I have already lived a long life and have been with many women in my time**, **but I have never been with a woman such as you and watching you leave me will be very hard for me also. I feel the exact same way you do**.** My heart is breaking just like yours. But I do not want you to lose hope in what we have, will you promise me that? My love for you will never change."

I knew it was time for me to leave. The air smelled different and the wind picked up, I turned my head to the left and the window was just opening. Haldir quickly pulled me in his embrace and kissed me passionately, we both heard Lady Galadriel in our heads, "_I am sorry but it is time_."

Haldir helped me with my backpack and handed me my laptop bag, when we both looked through the window we saw my home from the tree line of my backyard.

"Haldir, what you see is my home." My breathing had become heavy like I could not catch my breath. "I…I have to leave you now." I could not even look at him**,** but he placed his finger under my chin and tilted my face up to meet his and gently kissed my lips**.** He pulled back, "My Shash, I love you."

"I love you, my Haldir." I turned and stepped through**. **I looked back at him and he was watching me as the window slowly closed and I realized I was standing there alone. I felt like I couldn't breathe. There was a log and I slowly sat down took off my backpack and cried putting my hands up to my face but I could not stop**. **My heart was breaking**. ** When I passed through the moon was rising I don't know how long I sat there until I heard the night owls and I knew it must be late.

I slowly got up, pick up my backpack and laptop and walked across the back yard to my deck. I got my key from my purse and unlocked the door. Almost mechanically I went inside**,** turned off the alarm and turned on the lights, closed my patio door and locked it.

I dropped my things on the sofa**. **I just stood there and looked around at everything**.** I realized that all of this meant nothing to me without my Haldir**; **I no longer wanted any of this**. **All that mattered was him, my life with Haldir. I lay on the sofa**,** grabbed a pillow and cried**,** hoping it would ease my pain. It didn't. I could not fall asleep**. **All I could do was think of Haldir**. ** I pulled the pouch from my pocket**,** opened it and pulled out the lock of his hair he had given me. I rubbed it against my cheek repeatedly and lightly kissed it. I wanted to feel the softness of his hair and remember his scent. I was determined to talk to my Aunt and Katara tonight but I had to get myself together first. I realized that it is not an easy thing to leave the one you love**.** It is even harder when you are worlds apart.


	11. Chapter 11

**-Chapter 11-**

I sat on the couch thinking about what I had just said_, "Being worlds apart" am I crazy? How am I to go six months without him, I know we have the bond between us but we are worlds from each other__.__ I just can't get in the car and go to his place or call him on my cell. This is a true test of our commitment and our love to each other."_ I got up walked over to the patio doors opened them and went out on my deck. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, it was nothing like Lothlorien, the air didn't smell fresh, even the stars weren't as bright, I never heard the sweet melody of the trees either. I turned and went back in the house and locked the door behind me. I decided that there are two things I needed to do tonight, talk to my Aunt and Katara.

I sat on the couch opened my purse, took out my cell phone and called my Aunt.

"Hello?"

"Aunt Cloie, it's me Shashuwan, I…I need to talk with you tonight." I was trying very hard not to sound upset. But my heart was aching over Haldir.

"Shashuwan, what is wrong? You sound upset. Has something happened?"

"I…I can't talk about it right now, but I will be there in an hour, ok?"

"I'll be waiting for you."

"See you soon Aunt Cloie." I hung up the phone and then I called Katara.

"Hello?"

"Katara, it's me."

"Shash, hey girl, when did you get back? Are you feeling better?"

"I am not sure what you mean by better, Katara, my entire world has been turned upside down and other …things."

"You sound upset? What happened? Talk to me Shash or I am coming over right now!"

"Could you meet me at my Aunt Cloie's house please in an hour?"

"Now, it's after ten? Are you sure?"

"Yes, it has to be tonight, thank you. I have to go."

"Shash, can you at least tell me what it is about?"

"Not now. I'll tell you everything when you get there."

"Ok, I am getting dressed now, bye."

I hung up, went upstairs to pack a change of clothes and something to wear to bed in my overnight bag. I went back downstairs and pulled out my toiletries that I had taken with me and placed those in my overnight bag. I placed my purse and bag on the sofa and concentrated on Haldir. I closed my eyes and thought of him. I heard his voice, _"Shashuwan? My love, open your eyes."_

I opened my eyes and I was in Lothlorien again and before me was my love, "_Is this real?"_

He smiled, _"Touch me and you will see."_

I slowly walked towards him closing the space between us and laid my hand on his chest. When I did that and could tell that it was real, I threw my arms around him.

I pulled back and smiled, _"But how is this possible? How did you do this?"_

He smiled, _"It is our bond that we have with each other that makes it possible."_

_ "Our bond, I knew what we had was amazing but this is truly wonderful. You must think I am over reacting to us being apart?"_

_ "No, why would I think that?"_

_ "I have not felt anything from you my love__. A__re __you hiding your true feelings from me?"_

He gently took my hand and placed it over his heart_, "I have been, I did not want you to worry about me but you can feel what I am."_

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and exhaled, I felt all his hurt and pain. "_I am sorry, I didn't know but why would you hide it from me?"_

_ "I wanted to be strong for you. The pain I was feeling when you left was something I have not felt for quite some time__.__ I am sorry; I will not hide my heart from you again."_

I smiled, _"Nothing to be forgiven. You were protecting me__. __You don't have to hide your feelings from me, I need to feel them, ok?"_

_ "I understand, my Shash. I must leave you now but if you need me, just think of me."_

_ "I will__.__ I love you Haldir."_

_ "I love you, Shash." _He pulled me into his arms, and we kissed and when I opened my eyes, I was in my home but I could still taste his lips on mine and his scent was all around me. I felt a little better after being with him; I picked up my purse, overnight bag, put my cell phone in my pocket and grabbed my keys off the coffee table. I opened the door to the garage, turned the light on and locked the door behind me. I got in my car and made sure all the doors were locked, buckled up, started my car and was on my way. While I was driving on the highway it seemed like every radio station was playing love songs, so I just settled for my favorite jazz station. I was hoping that it would help settle me but every song reminded of my love that I had to leave behind.

Shash, this is not like you to be so emotional but then I have never been in love like this before. What I feel for Haldir is so deep, so profound and then there is this bond that we share it is amazing. I almost missed my exit thinking about Haldir. I really have to get this under control for I have too much to accomplish in six months. When I exited the freeway I did not have too much further to go; a couple lefts then a right, my parent's house was the third house on the right. It was beautiful four bedroom brick house with a porch and an enclosed deck on the back. I pulled up in the driveway turned off my car and just sat there for minute just to collect my thoughts. The porch light came on automatically. I got out the car with my things, walked up the front stairs and let myself in.

"Aunt Cloie, I'm here." I walked into the living room on the left and there she sat sipping her tea reminding me of the elves in Lothlorien.

"Shashuwan, I have been waiting for you**. **How are you?"

I walked into the family room to join her and to figure out where to begin, I sat in the chair across from her.

"Shashuwan, what is wrong?"

"I have questions for you but I have to wait for Katara to get here so I won't have to repeat it again." We sat there talking about little things. Before long there was a knock at the door and I answered it.

"Shash, how are you?" We gave each other hugs, I was very happy to see her I was only worried about how she would react to all that I have to tell her.

I led her in to the family room where my Aunt sat waiting, "Katara, believe it or not I feel 100% better than when I left."

"That's great but you sounded so upset when you called and I can tell you've been crying**. **Why?"

I smiled at her, "Katara, please sit down and I will explain everything now that you are here." She sat in the chair across from Aunt Cleo and I sat next to my Aunt.

I took a deep breath and began, "I want to thank both of you for being here at this late hour**.** I would have waited until tomorrow, but I just couldn't stand not talking to you about what had happened. "I turned away from them trying calm my nervousness.

"Aunt Cloie, I am pretty sure that you know what I am going to say, don't you?"

She looked at me and smiled, "Yes, I do but please continue."

"When I left here two weeks ago, I never made it to the cabin, I went somewhere else."

Katara sat there with disbelief all over her face, "What do you mean, you went somewhere else?"

"Katara, I need for you to just listen to me because it is very hard for me to relive everything that I have been through because my heart is breaking. So please just listen." She nodded yes and listened.

"Like I said, I was not at the cabin for two weeks**. **As a matter of fact I was not in this world at all. I was taken to another time… another world. I was taken to a place called "Lothlorien" I know you must find this hard to believe but it is true. Lothlorien is beautiful**. **It has the tallest trees you have ever seen in your life and the skies are as blue as the oceans. The people that live there are beautiful, they are much like you and I but for one thing; their ears are curved like seashells. There was a storm of some sort, a tree branch fell and hit on my head I was out cold and that is where I was found in the woods by an elf that took me to his Lord and Lady. They took care of me and helped me heal. I ended up spending a lot of time with the one that found me and I fell in love him**. **His name is Haldir and he is amazing. He has long silver hair, his eyes are so blue they just hold your attention and his smile breathes life in to your soul. While I was there Haldir was wounded and he returned to me, I was his healer that was when I realized that I loved him. While there, I was told that my father was an elf, whom met my mother here in our time. Believe me, when the Lady Galadriel first tried to explain this to me, I was more than upset with all that I had heard. I did not want to believe it but the more that I heard I had no choice. I tried to make sense of it but I just couldn't I was even more confused and upset.

I did not return to Haldir afterward being told about my father. Instead I ran into the woods during a storm and took shelter in a hollowed out tree**. **When the storm ceased I left and tried to find my way back and was discovered by Haldir's brothers**,** Rumil and Orophin. They returned me to Haldir. I expected him to be upset but he was not**. **He was only concerned for my safety and wellbeing. It was then that I discovered how much this ma…elf meant to me. We confessed our love to each other and we knew we were destined to be together**.**" I paused to catch my breath and didn't dare look up at my listener's faces. I was afraid what I might see there, so I plowed ahead.

"Shortly after that time he asked me to be his wife. I said yes. I know it seems like a very short time, and I have never believed in 'love at first sight', and it wasn't really like that in anyway. Even before we confessed our love to each other, we were connecting in some supernatural, spiritual way. We had our engagement ceremony the very next day. We have not made love yet**,** but I promised to return in six months and marry him**. **There is nothing on earth that is going to stand in my way of being with him. Being here without him is breaking my heart and nothing in this world matters to me more to than my life with him. But what I want to know Aunt Cloie," once I finally had the courage to lift my head, "is why did you not tell me of this when my parents died? Don't you think that knowing I am half elf was important to me? **Why didn't you tell me!"**

My Aunt was startled at the tone that I had taken with her, "Shashuwan Shane! It was not my responsibility to tell you! Your parents had made up their minds that the "Lady of Light" was to tell you if they could not."

"But you could have told me something! Do you have any idea how long I have suspected that there was **something missing from my life? You knew this, I have told you this but yet you sat by and said nothing!"**

"Shashuwan, like I said it was not for me to tell you! I have something that your father told me to give you if something were to ever happen to him it may help you, I will give it to you now." She left the room and I sat on the sofa in total exhaustion. Katara sat there looking at me shaking her head in disbelief.

"Shash, I..I don't know what to say all this is so unbelievable. But I think you need more time to think before you marry this so called Haldir, maybe you hit your head so hard that it was all just a dream?"

I shot her a look that could have killed**. ** "What? A dream, are you serious? This is real Katara! Look!" I held out my left hand with my engagement ring, I then pulled out the little sachet and gently pulled out the lock of hair that he had given me. "This is his hair**,** touch it**.** Now smell it! This is him**. **He is as real**,** as I am talking to you right now, so don't sit there and tell me that I dreamed it all up. Ok?"

Katara sat there and gently reached out and touched his lock of hair. "Shashuwan, forgive me, it is just so hard for me to believe. It just sounds so crazy especially for you! You are a woman of science and quite pragmatic about things. You write grants, perform surgery and you have been like a sister to me for so long. " She was staring at my necklace. "Did the necklace come from him?"

"Yes, he gave it to me**,** as a gift to the woman he loves and as a symbol of our bond to one another. It glows when his thoughts are with me."

She stood and stepped towards me, she gently ran her finger along the chain, "It's beautiful**. ** I have never seen anything like it before**. ** Shash**,** you have to understand this is just very hard for me to believe."

My Aunt returned and placed the box on the sofa, I sat down next to it before I opened it I had to ask my Aunt something. "Aunt Cloie, why is it Katara and I have never seen you for what you really are? I mean right now I am looking at you and you are beautiful just like your kin, why can't Katara see you?"

Katara looked at her then me, "What do you mean? See her for what she really is? She is Aunt Cloie**, **isn't she?" Aunt Cloie walked towards Katara,

"Katara people here on earth see what they want to see**. **Please close your eyes." Katara, did as she was told, my aunt passed her hand over eyes and said something in elvish. "Now Katara open your eyes and see me."

Katara opened her eyes and almost fell backing away from her, "Your…your ears are pointed! What are you?"

"I am an elf from Rivendell. I was sent to be with her father and mother to help them raise Shash.

Katara eyes widen, "So Shash, you are an elf also?"

"I am peredhil, half-elf, Katara. It seems that my father was a full blooded elf from Rivendell and my mom was human.

"I need to sit down and take all of this in, this is too much." She, Aunt Cloie and I sat as I opened the box that my Aunt had given me**. ** I was amazed by what I discovered inside the box.

"Aunt Cloie, these are my father's swords, daggers and clothing, I said, looking at them reverently**. "**Lady Galadriel had shown me a vision of what my father as an elf he was very handsome. Katara**, **you have to see this." She looked and could not say a word. She knelt in front of the box in amazement. Katara's hands shook as she reached out and ran her fingers lightly over the objects inside the box. She sat back on her heels and tried to take in some deep calming breathes. I could tell she was pretty overwhelmed, but I had more to tell her. This was the night for revelation and truth.

"Aunt Cloie, I need to talk with Katara alone**. S**he has to hear the rest of what I must say. I have waited too long and it can wait no longer."

"Shashuwan are you sure you want to tell her now? It could be too much for her**.** Do you really want to do that now?"

"What do you mean tell me the rest? What more can there be Shash?"

"Aunt Cloie please, leave us." With a concerned backward glance, Aunt Cloie left the room and now it was just I and my dear friend.

"Katara, I have something to tell you that I should have told you almost seven months ago and I know that you will be upset with me**. **You may not even want to be bothered with me anymorebut I trust in our friendship and love for each other that we won't lose what we have**,**" I told her anxiously.

"Shash, we are sisters and that will never change so please tell me what has been bothering you all these months?"

I took a deep breath and sat on the sofa across from her, "Katara do you remember when James came in town and you had to leave**,** so I looked out for him. Remember that?"

"Yes, I do**.** Why?"

"That evening when I got off work I called and asked James if he would like to go to dinner with me. He said yes, so that is what we did. I picked him up and we went to Mitchells. We had a great time talking about growing up together and everything. Afterwards we went to a club so I could meet some of his friends and had a couple drinks**. **I noticed that he was drinking a little too much so I told him that I needed to get him home**,** so I could take care of some work there. I took him to your place and made sure your fish were fed. I didn't want him to forget to take care of them. Well, I picked up my purse and got ready to leave."

I tried taking slow deep breathes and I was fiddling with my ring, turning it around and around in my anxiety and fear. "Shash are you alright?" She was very concerned about me.

"Katara, I am fine just give me a minute, ok?"

_"My love, you don't have to do this now."_

_ "Haldir, I must, I will be fine."_

_ I felt his smile surround me, "Haldir, just stay with me, please?"_

_ "I am always here for you._

"I am sorry Katara; I can try to finish now**.**" I swallowed nervously, but continued, "I opened the door to leave and he came up behind me and pushed it shut**. **It shocked me and when I turned to face him, he pushed me against the wall and started kissing me**.** I pushed him away and said "James, stop it I don't feel that way about you, you are like a brother to me!"

Katara stood up and was very upset, "Shash, are you trying to tell me that my brother attacked you or that he raped you?"

"Yes he did, he raped and beat me! He took from me what was not his to take and he beat me like I was a dog in the street, Katara!"

I could feel Haldir's rage, "_Haldir please don't be upset, not now."_

She gave me a look that I had never experienced from her before. "James would never do that to you**.** I know that he loves you like a sister Shash, you are wrong! Maybe it was you who had too much to drink and you blacked out or something. James isn't like that!" she responded with tears in her eyes.

"_Shashuwan, I am here. I have not left you."_

I was unzipping my pants a bit and un-tucked my shirt to show her the scars, "Do you remember the belt that you and I bought James for Christmas last year the one with the letter "J" on it?" I turned my back to show her, "Here is my evidence do you believe me now!"

I heard her take a deep breath, "**Oh my God**! **No! Tell me he didn't do this, tell me!"**

She grabbed me by the upper arms making me face her and tried to shake "the truth" out of me. I felt my love's anger swell up inside of him**. **Katara's arms fell heavily to her sides and I looked at her**.**

"He did**. **And dear God, I wish it weren't real, but it is. I am sorry that I waited to tell you, but I did not want to hurt you, I was thinking of you! We are sisters. I didn't want to tear your world apart like James did to mine. Katara, you have to believe me! I would never lie to you." The tears were coursing down my cheeks and my nose was stuffed. I felt so miserable bringing this **thing**to light. But I had to. I learned from Haldir to face the "demons" that hid in the darkness. They can not stand against the truth. I know that now."

_I felt Haldir's smile and his love surround me, "So you did listen to me, I told you, you could do this, Shash. I am so proud of you."_

She was upset and crying, "**Well, I still don't believe you, Shash! You are lying and I will prove it!"**

"Katara, I have no reason to lie!Go to the Police Department and ask for the Detective handling my case. He will show you the file and everything. Katara, I swear to you I am not lying. Did you think I wanted to tell you this? No, I didn't. I wanted to protect you!"

Katara, stopped and just stood there like she was thinking about something, then she looked at me, "Is that why the police have been…No, you are a liar and I will prove it to you once and for all!" She stormed pass me, slamming the door behind her and never looked back. I ran after her to stop her but she got in her car and left.

**"Katara, Please stop you can't tell…. **You can't tell James you know." I stood there not knowing what to do.

Aunt Cloie called out for me. "Shashuwan, come in you need to rest**."** She tried to talk to me and calm me down from the rollercoaster of emotion that I have been on for the last hour.

I turned and looked at her with tears in my eyes. "It's my fault she is so upset, I should have told her when it happened. I don't blame her if she wants nothing to do with me**,**" I shook my head filled with self-recrimination.

_"Shash, you have nothing to feel sorry about, yes you should have told her but it was a horrible experience for you. Do not doubt what you have done." _I felt his love but what I needed was to have him close tonight, I was exhausted and hurt. I just needed to feel his arms around me.

I went inside gathered my things my things to go to bed and sat down feeling exhausted. While I was sitting there Aunt Cloie sat next to me and placed my hands in hers.

"Shashuwan, look at me." Slowly I raised my head to look at her.

"I understand why you could not tell her earlier and I am sure she will come to understand. She just needs time, what about the threat James made against your life have you told her? I bet Katara will go and ask him. There is no way around that. She's going to be looking for the truth and she will have to confront her brother. After all, she loves both of you and doesn't believe this horror could be possible. Does Haldir even know that James threatened your life?"

"No, Haldir does not know. I have kept those thoughts locked away in the back of my mind. But he knows now and I am sure I will have to deal with him soon."

"Shashuwan, you did not tell him? Why not? Why would you hide this from him**?** He has promised to protect you always, how do you think this will make him feel?"

"Aunt Cloie, please stop I can't handle this not tonight, ok?"

"Shashuwan, you will have to deal with this**,** if not tonight, then another time."

"Alright, Aunt Cloie I hear you but right now I am going to bed, I am exhausted and I desperately wish he were here with me right now."

"So, what are you going to do about James? You know how he is, he never forgets! And when he says he is going to do something, he is true to his word!"

. "I can handle James; he is not the man that I once thought he was anymore. I will never be so vulnerable again!"

"Shash, you have to give Katara time deal with everything you have told her tonight, you have to admit you did tell her a lot and I understand why you did. The love of your life is waiting for you and nothing should get in your way of that."

"You understand? Aunt Cloie, I love him so much and leaving him was the worst feeling in the world."

"I know, Shash. Look, I know you're exhausted. Leave your father's things on the sofa and go get some rest." She kissed me on my forehead, "You will always be my little Shash**. **Would you like your favorite breakfast in the morning?"

My face lit up, "You mean banana pecan pancakes with your homemade syrup? You always knew how to make me feel better. Thank you, Aunt Cloie," I told her as I gave her a good night hug.

I collected my bag and went upstairs to my parent's bedroom, usually I would stay in my old room but I needed to be close to my parents so I slept in their bedroom tonight. I changed into my bed clothes and went to bed. I laid there and felt perfectly safe but I stilled missed my love dearly. I closed my eyes and all I could see was him, I curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep. My dreams were only of Haldir which I expected**,** but sometimes they seemed so real. While I slept I felt his arms around me, _"Haldir, our bond is growing you feel so real?"_

_ "My love, I am here because you need me." _I opened my eyes and there he was in bed with me.

_ "Yes I need you, but I did not think you would actually come__**.**__"_

He smiled, "_You will be wife__**.**__ I may be protector of Lorien's borders but your well-being is all ways my concern and my duty as your husband is to protect you."_

_ "I need you, please hold me!"_ I was so upset, I was bordering on a breakdown. He lay back on the pillow and pulled me in his arms while all of what I went through poured out in my tears. After my tears were spent I sat up and looked him, "_Haldir, I am sorry I did not tell you about the threat…"_ He placed his finger on lips to quiet me.

"_Shash, I understand why you did not tell me and also understand why you must confront him on your own but it does not mean that I approve of you not telling me. There is nothing in your world or in mine that I would not do to protect you, I love you. Shash, I will kill to protect you and our family__**. **__So, when you confront him I will be there__**.**__ I promise you__**,**__ on my life__**,**__ he will not harm you again. I swear it._" He kissed me and pulled me to him so, I could sleep. His arms, felt strong and a peaceful spirit wrapped around me like a cloak and I finally fell asleep with no worries.


	12. Chapter 12

**-Chapter 12-**

When I woke, I reached for Haldir but I knew he would not be there. But I was not upset**. **I felt alive. I felt loved. I got up to get dressed, but the aroma of my Aunt's famous banana pecan pancakes beckoned me to the kitchen. I quickly washed my face, brushed my teeth and hurried down stairs to the kitchen.

"Good Morning Aunt Cloie."

"How are you feeling this morning, did you sleep well?" She said with a smile.

I sat at the table knowing I felt a tug at my heart, "I slept quite well and my love was with me."

She smiled, "I knew he would be there for you that is why I did not worry about you too much." She fixed my plate and handed it to me, just like she always had and everything was delicious. She sat at the table and we had breakfast together.

"Aunt Cloie may I ask you a question? Did you want to keep this house or will you return to be with your kin?"

She smiled, "I am staying here. Why are you asking?"

"In six months I will return for my wedding and I have to get started on who is keeping what so my attorney can start working on the deeds for the houses."

She looked a little odd at me, "You are not returning to live here with Haldir?"

"No! I want our children to know how brave their father is and all that he does for Lothlorien and his family. He can teach them so much more than I can; besides Lorien is beautiful and I don't want to rob them of anything that concerns their father. Not like I was robbed of really knowing mine."

She smiled, "The way you are talking reminds me of your father so much. I am happy with your decision."

"Thank you, so Aunt Cloie; I don't understand why you would want to stay here instead of going to your homeland?"

"I have my reasons." She said not looking at me at all.

"Hmm, you have your reason and what are they?"

"Well my dear, I have a love interest here."

"What! You have a man! Aunt Cloie, you have never mentioned him why not?"

"Well he is my little secret." She gave the biggest smile and I had to laugh.

"WOW! Aunt Cloie, I have never heard you talk about a man like that before, he must be special."

"Well he is, his name is Anthony Burban, he has his own law firm and I have traveled with him many times."

"OMG, you have been traveling with him? How long have the two of you been dating?"

"Oh, about two years now and enjoying every second of it."

I sat there in shock, "Aunt Cloie, two years that is serious and I am just now hearing about him? So when do I get to meet Mr. Burban?"

"You will meet him soon I have told him all about you and he can't wait to meet you. How about dinner with just the three of us here? You could help me prepare it?"

"Sounds great just let me know when. But right now I have to go get dressed; I have four stops before I get home and pick up my dog." I got up from the table, gave my Aunt a big hug went upstairs and got dressed. While I was getting dressed, memories of my mother and father flooded my heart, only this time I wasn't crying but laughing and saying, "Thanks mom and dad for all the great memories you have left me."

I gathered up my things and went downstairs, "Aunt Cloie! I'm leaving." She came around the corner.

"You have everything? Including your father's things?"

"Yes, please call me when you set up a date and time, ok?"

"Shash, I want you to know that I am very proud of the decision that you have made about living in Lorien with Haldir. I believe that it is the right thing for you to do."

I gave her a hug, "Thank you Aunt Cloie."

When I left my Aunt's I made two phone calls, one to my attorney and other to my accountant. I left messages for them to call me. I went to the grocery store, pharmacy and then I picked up my dog from doggy daycare where he stayed while I was gone. Needless to say he was very happy to see me and of course**,** I missed him also. My dogs name is "Nanuke" I have had him for seven years now and I just can't imagine my life without him. On my way home I picked up a pizza and my favorite beer. This sort of made me sad, because usually Katara would be joining me for my pizza and beer but she won't be tonight. I stopped at the dog park so that Nanuke could run around for a while. I sat there watching Nanuke chasing the other dogs, they are just like little kids enjoying their friends. I could not help but let my mind fill with thoughts of Haldir**. ** I thought about how our love grew before we even knew what was happening; it struck us both like a lightning bolt from the heavens. The ringing of my cell phone brought me back to reality.

"Hello, Ms. Shane this is your Attorney Mr. Krouse. I'm returning your phone call."

"Yes, Mr. Krouse. I know that it is the weekend but could you possibly find the time to come to my house tomorrow? I need to speak with you about something that's very important and I feel it can not wait until Monday."

"Well of course, I can be at your home by noon. Would that work for you?"

"Yes that would be perfect, thank you."

"I will see you tomorrow."

I hung with him and called Julia my longtime friend from medical school, "Julia, hi it's Shash."

"Hey lady, how are you? I heard you were on vacation for two weeks."

"Yes, I was but I will tell you about that later. Are you able to come out my house this afternoon? There is something I need to ask you, it's very important."

. "Well, yes I can. Roy just took the kids to the movies; I could be there in an hour, okay?"

"Great, I will see you then. Thank you."

"No problem, lady."

I got up and called for Nanuke, "Nanuke, Nanuke come on boy, time to go home."

He came immediately he was very thirsty and I poured him a bowl of water. When he finished, we went to the car and went home. I guess Nanuke was tired, he lay on the back seat and went to sleep. While driving my phone rang again.

"Hello Shash, its Andrew Schotz. I hope you are doing well. What can I do for one of my favorite clients on this fine day?"

"Andrew, I know that it is the weekend but I need for you to come to my house at noon tomorrow. Would that be possible? It's very important and could you bring a copy of my statements and assets."

"Yes, I will be there at noon with the information you requested, would you need anything else, my friend?"

I smiled, "No Andrew nothing else thanks**.** I will see you tomorrow."

I got home, unloaded the car, put the pizza in the oven on warm and put the beer in the freezer. I then put away my groceries and the other things I bought and fed my dog. I put five beers in a cooler on the deck and before I knew it there was a knock at my door.

It was Julia at the door, "Hey Lady, how are you?" We gave each other a hug and of course Nanuke had to get his fair share of attention too.

"You know me, husband and kids. What is going on with you and how was your vacation?"

I smiled, "It was nice, I had an eye opening experience but I will have to tell you about that when my Aunt is with me. But what I have to talk to you about is very important but before all that, there's pizza and beer on the deck. Come join me. It's a lovely day outside." She followed me out to the deck where we sat and ate off the paper plates I brought out. After we were each seated with a couple of slices and a bottle of beer, I started in.

"Julia, the reason why I asked you here is," I took a deep breath before plunging in, "I am getting married, but he does not live here and I will be living with him."

"What, you're getting married and you won't be living here? Who is he and why are you leaving?"

I smiled, "I met him while on vacation and we fell in love it happened before we knew what was going on. He asked me to marry him, I said yes. I know it sounds crazy but I love him, he is everything to me and being here means without him is killing me. I have never felt this way before in my life and you know me very well. So you know I am telling the truth."

She looked at me and smiled, "I know you are telling the truth the look on your face is all I need to see or hear."

"Thank you, I will be leaving on March 25 for our wedding and when I return with my husband, it will just be for four months if that much, I will be here only as a consultant for the transition of ownership and the patients but I will be returning to live with him in his country. And I would like for you to run my clinic with Katara."

"But that clinic is your life! It's what you worked for. It's all you talked about when you were in school. And you want me to run your clinic for you? You trust me to do this for you? I don't know what to say?"

"Say yes; say that you will do this for me, please?"

She looked at me and smiled, "If this is what you really want, I will but I do have a few conditions. First off, Katara has to be onboard, and we have to agree together to accept this responsibility. My most important condition is that I would need an assistant. My family comes first. And then any decision will be decided equally between Katara and me.

I would like for the two of us to be 50/50 on everything. I know that is how you would run it and I want to keep your standards in tack."

"Thank you, Julia, thank you so very much. When I leave, I will have no worries regarding the clinic at all."

"You know I will do almost anything for you and if this man can put a smile on your face like that," she said, pointing to the grin I didn't know I even had on my face, "then I wish you the best in your marriage. So when do I get to meet this man and tell me something did you find an answer to your question?"

I smiled and softly laughed, "You mean my life long question about my life missing something? Yes, I have. Julia, have you ever heard anyone say "The second part of their life?"

"Yes, I have. What does it have to do with you?"

"Well, it has everything to do with me but I can't really explain till my Aunt is present and that won't happen till next week, ok?"

"So, what does your Aunt have to do with this?" she asked, not understanding.

"Well she is a part of this whole thing and without her it is hard for me to explain about anything concerning my fiancé. So after next week you will understand everything I promise**,** but what I need to know is will you consider running my clinic for me? I only trust you and Katara."

"You will probably meet him when we return after our wedding."

"Well my friend, I must go home now before my family starts looking for me. Shashuwan, I want to say thank you for trusting me with your dream and I promise we will all come to an understanding and the clinic will run the way you intended." We embraced each other and I walked her to her car.

"Shash, you know I worry about you being out here by yourself, so if you need somewhere to stay please come to my house**.** You don't have to call, just come ok?"

I smiled, "I am fine but I will call if I need to, I promise." She pulled out the driveway and left. I went into the house and spent the rest of the evening going over some paper work and opening my mail. Before I knew it, it was nearly midnight, I let Nanuke out one last time when he returned, I locked the doors, set the alarm and went upstairs to my bedroom I then locked the outer doors and my bedroom door.

All I could think to myself is if I were in Lorien, I would not have to worry about locking doors and setting alarms because I would have my protector, my Haldir by my side. I should really start saying my husband; yes I like the sound of that - my husband. I changed into my PJ's, set my alarm and got in bed with Nanuke lying at the foot of my bed. I slept but my dreams were filled with images of my husband to be and then I had dreams that I dare not mention. Let's just leave that for my wedding night. When I woke the next morning Nanuke was licking my face to wake me up.

"Nanuke, stop. I know you have to go boy, I am getting up now." I put my robe on and went down stairs to the patio doors to let him out, while I was standing outside watching Nanuke, I noticed an envelope lying on the patio table. I picked it up and read it. It was not what I was expecting. It was a letter; no not a letter, but a warning from James.

**Shashuwan, happy your back home, **d**id you forget my warning about telling my sister? I think you forgot, I told you what would happen if you told her didn't I? **

** I enjoyed you once and I will enjoy you again but you will not tell anyone this time, I promise. Oh and don't worry, I am always watching you.**

** J. T. **

I stood there shaking not knowing what to do. To think he was that close to me and I didn't know it? Oh my God what am I going to do? I quickly called for my dog to come in the house closed the door and locked it rapidly.

I suddenly felt Haldir surround me. He knew something was wrong. _"My love, what is wrong, what has you so upset?"_

_ "James, James was here last night! He left a note on the table that sat on my deck! He was that close to me and I didn't know it, Haldir he has been here!_

_ "Shash, he was outside your home last night?"_

_ "Yes, he left a note!" I read the note to him trying to calm myself but I was just too upset._

_ "Shash, I will not let you go through this alone__**.**__ I will be there tonight! Do not try to stop me, look for me at the high moon."_

_ I was so shaken, I could barely answer him, "Shash did you hear me?"_

_ "Yes, I will look for you. I need you!"_

_ "I will be there for you! I love you, my Shashuwan."_

_ "I love you, my Haldir." _

After I stopped shaking enough to dial the phone, I called the detective that has been working on my case. He said he would come right away. I impatiently waited for Detective Wilder to show up. Just as I was about to call him again, there was a knock at the door.

I looked through the peep hole before I opened the door. "Detective Wilder, I am so happy you came because I…I don't know what to do now! He was on my deck while I was sleeping upstairs in my room! When are you going to catch him?"

"Dr. Shane, please can I have the letter he left so I can read it?" He put on a pair of rubber gloves and read the letter. "And you found this where again?" I led him to my deck and showed him where I found it. He turned to the officers that followed him and told them to look for any other evidence around the house.

"Dr. Shane, you have a home security system?"

"Yes, I do why?"

"Call them today and get your passcodes changed, I am pretty sure James knows the passcodes and have all your locks re-keyed."

"I..I never thought about that but he probably does still have the codes."

"Please make those phone calls today!" The two officers returned and said they found footprints on the right side of the house and nothing else.

"Dr. Shane, there will be a squad car in front of your house every evening but for now, I will leave one of my men out front all day, then another this evening. I will not let him do to you what he did before or anything."

I smiled, "Thank you, Detective Wilder." Just as we had finished talking, my Aunt Cloie who has a key entered the house. Right behind her was Katara who I was not expecting to see at all today.

"Shashuwan, what happened? What's wrong? Why are the police here!" asked Aunt Cloie. I did not bother asking her why she was here or how she knew**.** She has always been there for me no matter what.

"James was here," I couldn't keep the trembling out of my voice. "He left a note on my deck! Katara, did you ask him about what happened? Please tell me, Katara! I won't be upset with you, I promise!"

She was a bit startled but seemed to understand what I was asking. "Shash, please come with me. I need to talk to you." I followed her to the kitchen so we could talk in private.

"Shash, I never got a hold of him," she said, resting her hand on my arm. "I went to Detective Wilder. He told me everything and showed me some of the evidence. That is why I am here**. **I am so sorry that I ran out on you like that," tears were rolling down her face, as quickly as she wiped them away. "It was just hard to believe that James had done this to you, please, forgive me?" She was very upset and I hated seeing her this way, I quickly took her in arms and she wrapped her arms around me.

Reluctantly I let go and she placed my hands in hers**.** "I understood why you did not tell me**. **You are always thinking about and taking care of me. Will you let me take care and be here for you?"

We were in each other arms again. I gave her the biggest hug, "Yes, I..I need you so much, thank you." Once we had pulled ourselves together returned to the family room.

Detective Wilder returned, "Dr. Shane, I also have an undercover police officer to follow you. Till we catch him, so you are to go nowhere without him**. ** I don't care if it is to the grocery store or just shopping he is to follow you always. Do you understand?"

"Detective Wilder, Thank you for everything but my fiancé will be here this evening. I know I will feel much safer when he gets here.

"Also," the detective added, "here is the Officer**'**s name and cell number if you should need him. He will be here this evening? Well**,** I am happy to hear that**. **How long will he be staying?"

"I am not sure but I will let you know first thing tomorrow morning after I have talked with him."

"Good so I will cancel the police officer for tomorrow but I will leave the officer out front for now. But I will inform him of your fiancé arriving this evening. Will he flying in?"

I looked at Aunt Cloie and she spoke up, "Ugh, yes he will but I will be picking him up at the airport."

"I will inform the officer outside, so he will not be alarmed when he sees him.**"**

"Thank you Detective Wilder for everything" I told him, with a heartfelt handshake and shaky smile. Detective Wilder left and the officers that came with him except for the one that was outside of my house. The only ones left inside now were my Aunt, Katara and me.

Katara placed her hand on my arm, "Shash, I am going to go home and pack my things to come and stay with you till James is caught. But if you would rather I didn't since Haldir is coming I will understand." I was going to tell her that it was not necessary but I wanted her here. I thought it might be safer for her too. Who knows what else James is capable of doing.

"Katara, I want you here. Besides, I want you to meet him."

"Well it is settled, it's 11:30 now**. ** I will return by 1:00pm or a little after, ok?'

I was still shaken, but very grateful, "Katara, I will be here waiting for you, thank you."

Katara left and Aunt Cloie insisted on staying until Katara returned.

"Aunt Cloie, thank you for staying but what made you come over in the first place?"

She placed her hand on my cheek, "Shash, I knew something was troubling you and I had to come, did you forget I am elven?"

I smiled, "Yes I did**, **actually. It's something that I will have to get use to along with everything else." I looked down at my watch and noticed the time, "Wow, Aunt Cloie, I have to get dressed. My attorney and accountant will be here in 20 minutes and I have to get dressed could you.."

"Don't worry; I will keep them entertained till you come down. Go get dressed."

I went upstairs, showered and got dressed, I was just about finished when I felt Haldir in my mind.

_"Shash, how are you fairing?"_

_ "I am feeling a little better, my Aunt and Katara insisted on staying with me so I won't be alone."_

I felt his smile, _"Well so I meet Aunt Cloie and Katara?"_

_"Yes, they will be here, Haldir how long will you stay?"_

_"Not long my love__**. **__ I need to ease my mind about you__**.**__ I will only stay for three nights, I cannot stay beyond that__**. **__I am sorry."_

"_Sorry? I will be delighted with whatever time I can spend with you. But__**,**__ I have to go for now. I have a meeting and they are waiting for me."_

_"Go, I will see you this evening."_

_"Till this evening."_

I always seemed at peace whenever I talk with him. Thatjust added to a long list of reasons why I love him so much. I went downstairs to greet my guest.

"Mr. Krouse and Andrew, I am so happy you could come on such short notice." I greeted them with a firm hand shake."

"Mr. Krouse, my accountant Andrew Schotz**, **Andrew** my** attorney Mr. Krouse." They shook hands and followed me into the dining room so I could talk to them in private.

"The reason for me asking both of you here is that shortly I will be getting married and leaving the country."

My Accountant was shocked as so was my attorney, "This is very sudden**. **I am happy you are getting married**,** but leaving the country? That is just a little extreme isn't it?"

"I know it is but I have to move where he is**. ** I can't explain it so please just trust me on this, ok Andrew?"

"Mr. Krouse, I need for you to start the paper work to change ownership of my clinic to Dr. Julia Kane and Katara Tensky**. **The deed to my house is to go to Katara and the deed to my parent's home is to go to my Aunt Cloie. My assets are to be divided between Katara and my Aunt."

"Andrew, I need for you to check all of my assets determine how much they are and divide them evenly between the two women. I also need for you to work with Mr. Krouse to make sure all the funds that come in to the clinic are in order. I will be working at the clinic until July of next year but it would strictly be as a consultant. I will be leaving the beginning of March and will return in two weeks but before I leave I need to see everything so I can look them over and make any changes. Are there any questions?"

Andrew is business focused all the time**,** but this time he was not**.** "Shashuwan, we have known each other for years and I have never questioned you on anything and I am not questioning your marriage either, but your leaving bothers me greatly. Is this because of James at all?"

"No, this has nothing to do with James, I assure you. I would like the two of you to continue to work with Dr. Kane and Katara and be there for them. And Andrew, please set up an account with Mr. Schotz to keep the two of you on retainer. Before you ask, the reason for me remaining for four months or longer is I just wanted to be here in case there were any problems and they need me. I thought that it would be a wise thing to do seeing that the transition of a clinic can be difficult on the employees and the patients. That is the number one reason for returning are my patients."

Mr. Krouse spoke up, "We will work together to get everything that you requested and will have everything to you by February of next year."

"Thank you, gentlemen,"I said as I rose." I don't want to keep you from you families any longer than I already have but thank you for taking the time to see me." They both shook my hand and I led them to the front door and watched as they left.

I saw the Officer sitting in the car and went out to talk to him, when I approached him, he got out the car. "Dr. Shane is there a problem or are you leaving?"

"No, I just wanted to know if you cared for lunch or wanted some water or anything. I know you are on duty and there are no restaurants around here. Can I do or get anything for you?"

"Well, Dr. Shane, I usually have a packed lunch but maybe I will take you up on that today. Thank you. If there are any problems you have my cell number**.** I will be here till nine tonight and another officer will be here later this evening."

I smiled, "Thank you and if you need anything just come and ask, ok?"

"I will Dr. Shane, thank you." I went back in the house and locked my door. I changed into a pair of sweats and T-shirt, turned on some soft jazz and talked with my Aunt while we waited for Katara to come back.

I only opened the door when the dog had to go outside. As I stood outside waiting for him, the sunshine and clear skies did nothing for me. I had to admit I was worried and even though there was a cop out front, I was still a bit scared. All I could do was think about how close James was to me. The whole thing really freaked me out**. ** I was shaking all over when I called for Nanuke to come in because I felt safer in the house. When I locked the patio door, My Aunt came by my side to comfort me.

"So, how did your meeting go with Andrew and Mr. Krouse?"

"Everything went well and they are working on the transfer of ownership of the clinic, the deeds to the houses and my assets."

"Well, that is good I am happy to see that you are on top of things and moving forward**. ** I overheard you say you will be returning after you wedding for a few months. Have you talked with Haldir about that yet?"

"When he gets here I will talk to him and before you ask**,** he will be here for three days. The reason for him coming is he is really concerned about me emotionally and physically. He wants me to feel safer and he is the only one that can do that for me."

"Well there is no doubt in my mind about that at all, what concerns me is how he will react to you wanting to return after the wedding for a few months?"

I looked at her questioning what she had said, "Why would you think there would be a problem? I would just tell him that it is strictly for transitions purposes only and nothing more."

"Shashuwan, you are going to be starting a new life with him, in Lothlorien and there will be so much that you will have to learn and get used to**. ** I am sure they have already given you a position and seeing that you will be the wife to the Marchwarden, you would have to be taught certain etiquette. Plus you have to think about his duties and responsibilities; you have to start thinking in terms of the two of you, ok?"

"You know, you are right I have to start thinking like that, all I am doing is thinking about what I have to do, what is going on with me**. ** I wasn't even thinking about my responsibilities to my husband and Lothlorien. Thank you Aunt C for reminding me and you're right I have a lot to get use to and learn. I promise I will talk to him."

There was a knock at the door**. ** I checked and it was Katara.

"Katara, you are back. Great**! **Why don't you take your things upstairs and I will walk Aunt Cloie to her car then I need to make a couple phone calls."

"Sure, go see Aunt C out**. **I'm fine."

I walked Aunt Cloie to her car and she reminded me to make the phone calls about the password and getting the locks re-keyed.

"I will do it now, thank you." I stood there and watched as she drove off and I went back in to the house and made my phones calls. I called the locksmith and the gentlemen that I spoke with said he would be out in about an hour to take care of it**. **I figured I would have to pay him double, but it would be worth it to me to have that peace of mind. I also called my home's security system. After going through a long process to identify myself I changed all my passcodes**. **I felt a little better after I had taken care of those two things. Katara was coming downstairs just as I have finished.

"Katara are you all unpacked**?** Did you need anything?"

She smiled, "No, I have everything I need, I am here with you and I get to take care of you for a change. That is all I need." I walked towards her and gave her a hug and she did the same.

"Thank you for being here with me, Katara." I reluctantly let her go and sat on the sofa thinking about Haldir.

"Hey, is there something wrong? You seem more distant than usual. Are you mad that I didn't believe you right away? You know, I really am sorry!" she said looking worried. Then another thought dawned on her, "Did he return?"

I shook my head, "Oh no, he has not returned very thankful for that, believe me."

"Then what is it?"

"Katara, I never told you this but you know that ability that I have to read people's thoughts that no one knows about?"

"Yes, I haven't forgotten what about it? Have you been using it again? I thought that it gave you terrible headaches."

"While I was in Lorien, Lady Galadriel helped me to use my gift and concentrate on how to use it without the headaches."

"So now you can read anyone's thoughts whenever you want now?"

"Yeah, pretty much. But I would never do that to you, I promise."

"Shash, I always thought you were a little strange, now I am totally convinced of it**,**" she said with a mischievous grin that reminded me of old times**.** I could not help but laugh.

"The reason I am telling you this is Haldir and I have a bond that lets us feel and communicate no matter where we are."

"So what you are telling me is that you can communicate with him anytime you want? Have you done this since you've been home?"

"Yes, just before everyone arrived." I could tell she was a little unnerved by all of this, but I knew she would understand it all, eventually. "He felt everything that I was going through when I found the note from James. There was no way I could hide it from him."

She had this look on her face of disbelief but did not question me, "Shash, I believe everything you have said because you have no reason to lie to me, but you have to admit that this is just a little over the top right now."

I smiled and softly laughed, "I know that you are probably thinking that I should be committed to the nearest psych ward but I am not crazy. I am very sane and aware of everything around me."

"Shash, I know you are perfectly sane and I have to admit the thought did cross my mind to have you examined. But with everything you have been through in the past couple weeks and how you have protected me, I understand why you did what you did. I would never turn my back on you and I hope that I get to meet this Haldir before your wedding."

"Well, you will meet him tonight." I said smiling.

'WHAT! He will be here tonight, why?"

"He felt how upset I was and I still am. He insisted on coming to be here with me."

"Well, so I will get to meet your Haldir, the man, sorry, I meant elf that loves you. So when will Mr. Wonderful be here?"

I smiled, "He will be here at midnight."

"At least I can find out why you would want to leave everything you have worked so hard for and leave everyone that loves you and would miss you. I hope he is worthy of your love, my sister."

What she said really hit home. Out of everyone that I will leave behind it's hardest to think about leaving Katara forever. I saw the hurt in her eyes and I knew what she was feeling and she was on the verge of falling apart. "Katara, I am sorry. Here I am going on about my feelings for Haldir and wanting to be with him forever but I never gave thought on how this would affect you. I am sorry. Please forgive me?"

She managed a smile, "Shashuwan Shane, will you please stop apologizing for the way you feel about him! You love him and he makes you happy that is all that matters to me. I am not going to lie and tell you that I am not upset**,** because I am. We have been together most of our lives and have rarely been apart. I love you and I only want what is best for you always. I just want to get to know him." She leaned over and hugged me and I in turn did the same.

All I could think about while we were embracing was how was I ever going to do this without her? We have always been there for each other. I didn't expect to see her today, but that is what sisters do for each other. They are always there no matter what.

We gently pulled apart from each other and wiped away our tears as we tried to pull ourselves together. "Shash, I have always wanted to see you happily married**. ** I just always thought you would be here. Well enough of all this crying. I think Aunt C is at the door."

We went to the door and it was Aunt Cloie and greeted her, "Well ladies what is on the agenda tonight?"

"Well Aunt Cloie, Shash is expecting Haldir this evening."

She smiled, "I know and I can't wait to meet him. This reminds of all the times you girls had sleep overs at Shashwans house**. **So**,** what are you ladies cooking for dinner this evening?"

Katara and I looked at each other; we had not given dinner a thought. "Well Katara could maybe prepare her famous Cajun Shrimp and Pasta tonight?" I looked at Katara with pleading puppy dog eyes.

"Ok, Shash, just for you since it is your favorite I will fix it. Do you have everything that I need?"

"Of course I went grocery shopping and bought everything, so go and get started**,**" I said jokingly. There was a knock at the front door I went to answer it, it was the locksmith to re-key all the doors. I showed him all the doors that needed to be done and told him to take of the door that led to the garage too, just to be safe. I left him to his work and returned to Katara and Aunt Cloie.

Katara went to the kitchen, I turned on some soft jazz music and Aunt Cloie poured everyone a glass of wine and we joined Katara in the kitchen. We were talking about growing up together and all the trouble we got into and of course the camping story came up again, it is so embarrassing.

Katara was preparing dinner, while I prepared the salad and garlic bread, Aunt Cloie was sipping her wine. Katara started laughing, "What is so funny Katara?"

"Well, I was thinking about the time we went camping with your family and we had the run in with the skunks?"

I started laughing, "That was quite the camping trip and our parents were so upset with us."

Katara stopped laughing and got very quiet, "I don't understand why our brother did what he did, why would he want to hurt us like that?" Katara started crying and I quickly went and held her, "Katara, I don't know why he did it but I can't have you upset, so new rule tonight ladies, no thinking about him, ok?" I wiped her tears away and kissed her cheek, "No, get back to cooking before I kick you to the curb, ok?"

She laughed, "Like that will ever happen, Vampira." All of started laughing and from then on we were fine.

Before long the locksmith was finished and handed me three new keys, I wrote him a check, thanked him and walked him to the door and locked it behind him.

While Katara finished cooking the main course, Aunt C and I preparing the salad and the toasted garlic bread to go along with our meal**. **We set the table and waited with anticipation for the main course. She came in the dining room with a platter of "Cajun Shrimp and Pasta that smelled divine.

"Dinner is served ladies."

The aroma of the main meal was wonderful, "Katara the meal looks and smells delicious, I think it may be your best yet."

"Well thank you Shash, I hope you enjoy it."

Our meal was awesome! Just like how I remembered it. We talked about everything that had happened today and reminisced about the past. Before we knew it was 11:00 at night; we cleaned up and went out to the deck to enjoy the end of summer evening. I have to admit I was a little hesitant at first because of what had happened but I knew my love would soon be here.

"Shash, are you going to sit out here all night and wait for Haldir?"

I smiled not looking at her, "He said he will be here at high moon, which means he will be here at midnight. If that is too late for you, you may turn in for the night if you would like."

"Oh no, I am not going to miss seeing Mr. Wonderful tonight! Why don't we pass the time with you telling me something about him?"

"Well he is the Marchwarden of Lothlorien. It's a very important position. No one enters the realm unless he deems it so. He is also Captain of the Lady's Galadriem which is the royal Lothlorien army; you and I would call them the best of the best. He is very proud of all that he has accomplished, he may seem arrogant sometimes well all the time, until you get to know him.

Well, let me re-word that he can be arrogant all the time; it is just a part of him and believe there is no way around it. He is wise and respected by all of his men. When he is with me, I see the other more personal side of him. He is gentle, loving, caring and he would do anything to keep me safe." And just as I said that I stood and started walking down the stairs of my deck.

"Shash, where are you going? Come back!"

I stopped and said, "My love, my Haldir is here."


	13. Chapter 13

-Chapter 13-

At that moment I heard Lady Galadriel clearly in my mind, "_Shashuwan, there was nothing I could to do to stop him. He had to come to be by your side. When you see him he will be very weak. When an elf travels through the window of time it drains them of their strength__.__ I sent a sachet of herbs for you to give to him in a tea. He just needs a night of rest and he will be fine. Now go! He has just crossed the tree line."_

I walked across my back yard and there he stood. When he saw me he came towards me rapidly. "Shash, you look so surprised, I told you I would be here."

I hurried to close the space between us. We met in an all-consuming embrace, as I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. My arms slipped under his cloak. I felt so safe. He kissed the top of my head and gently tilted my head and kissed my lips, then he pulled back and smiled.

"Haldir, I don't know what to say. You came so far just to protect me?"

He smiled with pleasure in his familiar, slightly arrogant way seeing the surprise and disbelief in my face. "Shash stop, I told you I would come there is nothing or no one that could have stopped from being by your side"

I felt him shiver and immediately placed his hood on his head, pulled his cloak around him and walked him toward my home. We walked up the deck stairs where my Aunt and Katara anxiously waited. He removed his hood and I introduced him, "Aunt Cloie, Katara I want you to meet Haldir my fiancé. Haldir this is my Aunt Cloie and my dearest friend and sister Katara."

He placed his hand on his chest and bowed his head towards both of them. "It is an honor to meet you Katara, my wife's heart friend, I have heard so much about you and too Aunt Cloie. But, I must admit, your ears are a bit of a surprise, Aunt Cloie," he said with a trace of humor in his voice.

Katara poor thing just stood there with her mouth open staring at him, so I nudged her. "Katara, Katara! He said hello."

She shook herself out of her trance, "I...I am sorry please forgive me Marchwarden, I am pleased to meet you." Unsure of what to do, she returned his slight bow.

"So you are real but Shash," she said as she turned to look at me, "you never told me was so sexy!"

I could feel the heat rise in my face, embarrassed at my friend's forthright manner. Haldir took it all in stride and simply gave her a small smile as he inclined his head to the compliment.

Then Aunt Cloie spoke up, "Marchwarden, I am pleased to meet you she had told me so much about you, I am happy to finally meet you, but I do remember hearing talk of you in my homeland and your many accomplishments it is an honor to finally meet the Marchwarden of Lothlorien and to talk with someone in my native tongue" He smiled

"Well, thank you for saying so, Aunt Cloie and Katara please call me Haldir."

He pulled his cloak tighter around him. I noticed his movements right away and was concerned, "Haldir please come in so you can get warm and do you have the sachet of herbs?"

He nodded yes and gave it to me. When we were inside the house Aunt Cloie offered to fix the tea for me. He leaned against the back of the sofa to steady himself, which alarmed Katara. "Shash, is he alright? He looks very tired."

I tightened my arm around his waist, "He is weak from crossing over. The tea that Aunt Cloie is preparing for him will help him sleep. He will be fine when he wakes tomorrow morning. Could you let Aunt Cloie know that I am taking him upstairs to my room so he can lie down, please?" She did so right away and I escorted Haldir to my bedroom and partially closed the door.

When we entered my room the lights came on instantly, and it startled him! I let him

take in everything. I smiled a little, but I didn't want to make him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable

"Shash, what kind of magic is this?"

I softly chuckled to myself, "Haldir it is not magic, remember when I told you about electricity? And how everything was so different where I live?"

He gently shook his head yes, "I remember now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow about everything. I need my rest."

"Don't worry about it, we will talk tomorrow and I will give you the full tour of my house and show you everything but come lie down so you can rest." He got undressed and I placed his clothes on a chair next to my dresser. He sat down on the edge of the bed and I helped him remove his boots but, I insisted that he leave his leggings on for reasons that I don't have to explain.

"Shash, please sit next to me," he said patting the bed by his side. How are you fairing? Has he made an attempt to contact you since the first letter you told me about?"

"No, he has not, there is a police officer out front and he is keeping watch."

He smiled, "I am happy to hear that, maybe I acted in haste coming to your side?"

"What? Why would you say, "You acted in haste?"

"Where you are concerned I tend to react before I think."

I smiled, "Well that is what happens when the one you love has been threatened or is in danger." When I said that, he leaned in and kissed me, pulled back and gently ran his finger across my moist lips and kissed me passionately. He placed his hand on the middle of my back lowered me to the bed without breaking our kiss, I was so caught up in Haldir that I did not hear the soft clearing of a throat.

"Ahhh, excuse me Shash I have his tea," Katara blushed red as she pushed the door open the rest of the way.

"Haldir, please," I said, struggling slightly to sit up. "Katara is here."

He pulled back, to let me rise and smiled, "Still we are disturbed even in your time."

I kissed the tip of his nose and sat up and motioned for Katara to come over with the tea. She stood there just staring at Haldir. "Katara, hand the tea to Haldir please?" She stood there staring at him. Again I had to fight for her attention! "Katara, it's not polite to stare just hand it to him already."

"Oh, I am sorry Haldir here is your tea. I really am sorry for staring."

"Thank you, Katara."

"Shash, can I talk to you for just a minute, please?"

I looked at her a little strange, "Okkk, Haldir drink your tea I will be in the outer room talking to Katara, I will be right back."

I followed her to the outer room and she closed the door behind us, "Katara, why did you shut the door? Did you know he can hear us? Elves have superior hearing. What did you need?"

She took a deep breath, "Could you please tell me why you haven't had sex with that elf yet? I mean really? He is like the ultimate "Sexiness" and you have not, I mean really?"

I stood there and looked at her. I started to snicker and then laughed hysterically, "Katara, stop, are you serious?."

"Shash, tell me you have not thought of making out with Haldir?"

I arched an eyebrow and smiled, "Katara, I think about being with him all the time! I want to be with him in every way, but sometimes I get a little freaked out about being with him..in..that..way, if you know what I mean, considering what happened to me."

"Katara, I am sorry, but how do you control yourself? It's just that he is FINE!"

"Katara, can we talk about this tomorrow. Besides, didn't you just interrupt a fairly passionate kiss?" I grinned. "Now, I must get back to him, ok?"

"Alright Vampira but I want to know everything, nothing has changed just because he is an elf, a gorgeous elf and that physique! He is beautiful eye candy with a doubt, so enjoy yourself."

"Katara, I said with a little exasperation. There is something you should understand about Haldir, he very arrogant and he knows he is all that he needs no one to tell him that, ok? So go to bed or something. Goodnight."

"Ok, we will continue this conversation tomorrow, ok?"

"Alright, goodnight."

She laughed as she walked down the hall. All I could do was shake my head, that girl is nuts and she knows it. But without her**,** my life would have been out of control. She has been my rock through many hard times. I returned to Haldir whom had just finished his tea. He handed me his empty cup and I placed it on the nightstand next to the bed.

I was going to say something to him but I just remembered something that I had bought a while ago, "I will be right back, ok?" He nodded and I went to my walk in closet and found what I was looking for. I closed the closet door and went back to where Haldir was seated on my bed.

I sat next to him with the box on my lap. "Haldir, I know that this is going to sound a little strange but I think I bought this for you."

"For me, I do not understand. How would you have known of me before your unplanned trip to the Golden Woods?"

"I don't know, but I saw this while I was shopping. I thought it was beautiful and I was thinking if I ever had a man in my life again I would like for him to wear this," I said tentatively. "So since you are the man/elf that is in my life and you will soon be my husband I would like for you to have this." I placed the box on his lap.

"Thank you, Shash" He opened the box and carefully folded the tissue paper aside. He

pulled out what was inside; it was a long silk black robe with matching pajama bottoms.

"Shash, it is beautiful, I have never felt anything like this before. How could you have known?"

"I do not know, but I hope it fits. Please put it on for me?" I went to the other side of the bed and turned my back to him so he could get changed.

"Shash, I am dressed you may turn around."

'WOW! That looks really good on you and it fits you perfectly." He had on the pajama bottoms but not the robe. I walked around him. Strange, I had never noticed before but my husband to be has the perfect ass! He looked very good. I noticed he was getting tired so I forced myself to stop admiring his form and pulled back the blankets on the bed.

"Haldir, lie down. I know the tea is taking affect so please lie down."

He got in bed and stared at me with those beautiful blue eyes, he started to say my name and I stopped him.

"Do not talk my love sleep you need your rest, I will be right here with you so close your eyes and rest." He did as I said and I gently kissed his cheek. I started to lock my door as I have always done but I decided not because he was here and there was nothing for me to fear but I did close it just for our privacy. I then changed into a short white gown and got in bed. I was not quite sleepy so I thought I would read my book but Haldir thought I should be doing something else. He lay across my lap I could not help but gently run my fingers through his long silver hair and gently caress his back. I could not help but notice the faint scars on my lover's back. All I could do was think about what he has done in his long life and all that he had seen. (I know I had my own battle scars too.) But what I really thought about was all that he could teach our children and the stories he would tell them. I softly chuckled at the thought of him with babies; I laid my head back and slowly drifted off to sleep with that image in my mind.

The next morning when I woke Haldir was still asleep. He was lying on his left side with his back to me so I leaned over, gently kissed his neck and pulled the blanket over his shoulders so he could stay warm. I got out of bed did my usual morning routine and went downstairs where I heard my Aunt and Katara in the kitchen

"Good morning ladies, how are you doing?"

"Well Vampira is finally awake! Where is Mr. Wonderful or is he exhausted?"

I can't help but smile when she is around, "Katara for the last time, our night will be our wedding night and not before that. We will not go against what Lady Galadriel has told us."

She frowned at what I said, "That is so crazy! I mean waiting till your wedding is cool but I don't understand why she has made it mandatory for the two of you!"

While she was talking I fixed myself a cup of coffee with my favorite "Sweet Italian Creamer" that I had missed so much while I was in Lothlorien. "Katara, it has to be this way so we can both make sure this is what we want and that we are committed to each other in every way, not just because of sex. Believe me when I say it is very hard for the two of us to sleep in the same bed and not make love, but when that day comes it will be beautiful in every way." I said with a far off look on my face.

"If you and your sexy elf are fine with it then I wish the two of you the best and I already know that the two of you are committed to each other in every way."

"So, where is your lovely elf?"

"He is still sleep, when he is rested he will wake but until then, what's for breakfast ladies?"

"Well we are having omelets, croissants and fruit bowls. H how does that sound?"

"I thought that I would fix something that would please the Marchwarden."

"Thank you, Aunt Cloie for thinking about him."

"Well did you guys need help with anything?"

Aunt Cloie surveyed the kitchen, "Hmm, nope can't think of anything for you to do, unless you want to fix your own omelet, I have already fixed mine and Katara's."

"Sure, no problem thanks." Katara and Aunt Cloie went to the dining room and I was in the kitchen fixing my omelet which consisted of green peppers, onions, mushrooms and zesty sausage.

"Shash, please tell me you have hot sauce for my omelet." As she was looking in the refrigerator, "Yes, Katara I have hot sauce in the fridge to the right on the second shelf."

"Katara, Katara did you get it? Katara, why aren't you answering me?" When I turned to my left she was just standing there staring at the door way, "Katara, what are you staring at?" I turned and Haldir was standing there in his silk pajama bottoms, the long black silk robe that was open and his hair that was not braided back on each side in his usual manner, flowed down his chest on either side.

He walked towards me and slipped his arms around me, "Good morning Shash." And he kissed me. I pulled back, "Good morning my love."

Haldir turned towards Katara, "Katara, how are you this morning?"

"Katara, Katara snap out of it!"

She shook her head, "I am sorry Shash. Good morning Haldir and I do mean what a good morning it is. MY, MY, MY!"

"Katara, you can go now. Go! Bye!." She finally left the kitchen.

"Your friend Katara, does she always do that?"

"Do what, Haldir?"

"Just stare at people that she has met?"

I smiled, "No Haldir, it's just that she is mesmerized by you. I mean if it were me I would be acting the same way."

He smiled at me, "Do I not mesmerize you now?" He placed his finger underneath my chin to gently tilt my face up to meet his gaze.

"My love there are times when I look at you that I am totally captivated by you and then I have to stop and think, this elf loves me for me. What more could I ever want?" Then he kissed me.

I pulled back and he looked a little tense, "Haldir, is something wrong?"

"I need to, I need to relieve myself."

"What? You need to go to the bathroom? I am sorry. Come, follow me."

I showed him the bathroom that was downstairs, "Haldir this is what we call a bathroom. this is a toilet where we urinate and take care of other 'business'.

All you have to do is lift the lid then the seat and go in there. When you are finished push this silver handle down, close the seat and the lid." When I flushed the toilet he just about jumped out of the bathroom. I had to turn my head to keep from laughing.

The look of shock and surprise on his face was priceless, "Shash! What sort of magic is this?"

I quickly went to his side, "Haldir, it is not magic of any kind I promise you. Remember when I told you of how things are different where I come from?"

"Yes, I remember you told me that."

"My love this is just a part of my world, listen please go as I showed you and I will wait right here by the door, ok?"

He looked at me a little wary at first, "Please go, I will be right here I promise, now go."

He went back in the bathroom and did as I asked him, I stood there and heard everything he even dried his hands and came out the bathroom.

"Now was that so bad?"

"No it was not, but I can see that I have a lot to learn."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am."

I gently took his hand in my and lead him to the kitchen where he stood and watched me."

"Haldir, this is a stove and it's how we cook indoors. I will explain how it works later, but right now I am going to fix you an omelet, ok?"

He nodded yes, "But what is an omelet?"

"Why don't you just wait until I serve you." I said with a wink and a small smile. In the meantime, why don't I show you to the dining room? You can sit and talk with Aunt Cloie and Katara while I prepare your breakfast." He nodded yes; I led him to the dining room and had him sit at the head of the table.

"Ladies, I am leaving Haldir in your capable hands to keep him entertained while I am in the kitchen and Katara, no conversation about our engagement arrangements."

As I was leaving the room I hollered back, "Katara, I am serious don't start, ok?"

"Alright Vampira, I promise!"

I left the dining room and went back to the kitchen to prepare his omelet. While in the kitchen I couldn't help but hear the conversation between Haldir and Katara.

"Katara, why do you call my Shash, Vampira?"

"Well Haldir, it has to do with her eyes they have such a strange color and she reminds me of a vampire from a movie we saw together."

I heard nothing from my love but my Aunt had something to say, "Katara, you have to remember when you talk with Haldir, that there is a lot that he does not know about our world. You will have to explain things so he will understand or he won't know where you are coming from. When given a chance, I'm sure Haldir will catch on quickly. He is, after all, a centuries old capable warrior and leader, one of the most trusted elves by the leaders of Lothlorien."

"Haldir, I am sorry, I completely forgot that this is your first day here and I should have explained myself better. Can you forgive me for this oversight?"

"Yes, I do Katara."

"Let me start again, I have been calling Shash, Vampira for a long time now and I do that because there is a fictional creature from myths and legends and it is called a "vampire" its eyes are very strange, their eyes were either yellow or shade darker almost like Shash's eyes. She is the only woman or person that I know of with eyes like that, so that is why I call her Vampira."

He smiled, "Hmmm, I will have to accept you calling my Shash, Vampira. I do not like it but that is between you and her."

I grabbed our plates and hurried to the dining room, "Is everything alright in here?"

My Aunt spoke up, "Yes, everything is fine. I just had to remind Katara to explain herself more clearly when talking with Haldir."

I turned my attention to Haldir, who was very quiet. "My love, are you alright?"

He looked at me and smiled, "I have a lot to learn about this place where you live. For example, what is this on my plate?"

"It is an omelet I know you will like it, go ahead and try it, for me please?"

I picked up my fork and cut a piece of the omelet and ate it, Haldir watched my every move and did the same. I was actually holding my breath watching him take that first fork full of omelet and then the fried potatoes.

"Shash, this is delicious I have never had eggs prepared this way, what did you put in them?"

I started laughing and so did everyone else, "Haldir, I am happy you are enjoying your meal, as for what is in the eggs I added green peppers, red peppers, hot sausage and mushrooms."

"Shash, this is delicious."

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth and sipped my coffee, "It is my first time cooking for you and I was not sure if you would even like what I had prepared for you?"

"My love, I would enjoy anything that you would prepare for me. I know that the way you do things in your world are different from mine but like you, I enjoy learning new things." He reached for my hand and gently bought it to his lips and kissed the palm of my hand. I knew Katara was watching us but my eyes never left his.

"Aunt Cloie, what are the chances of me finding an elf like Haldir?"

Aunt Cloie softly laughed, "Katara, two things you should know. First, it takes a special woman to deal with an elf such as him and second there is only one Haldir."

Clearing her throat, "So Haldir, what drew you to Vamp…I mean Shash?"

He sipped his tea, "Well Katara, to be honest with you it is everything about her."

"Everything, Haldir that is pretty broad is it not?" Katara gave him a friendly wink.

"I have never met anyone such as Shash, her compassion and belief in family, her intellect, her values as a woman and I listen to everything that she has to say. She is a strong, willful, beautiful woman that I will honor and cherish for the rest of my life."

"Haldir, that was beautiful I have never heard a man talk about my sister like that before, it sounds like you are mesmerized just like Shash. Aren't you?"

"If that is what you want to call it then yes, I am."

"Hey lady, would you mind if I talked to Haldir in private?" Katara asked me.

I smiled because I knew what she wanted to ask him, "Of course not, why don't you go out to the deck and talk, Aunt C and I will clear the table."

Katara and Haldir left the dining room and went out the deck to talk, while Aunt C and I cleared the table and did dishes.

"Shash, you know why Katara wanted to talk with Haldir don't you?"

"I know. But why, are you concerned about something?"

"No, not really. Do you mean you are not going to listen in on their conversation?"

"No, Aunt Cloie. She is asking Haldir about his love for me and get to know him on a personal level. She is asking him all the questions that my father would be if he were alive."

She smiled, "I tried to talk her out of it but she felt that it was something she needed to do for you. She wanted to make sure he is right for you."

"I know and I am sure that he will be put her mind to rest, considering he came just to make sure I was ok."

"I know that but Katara you know she will question him about everything, from his love to providing for you."

I looked at her a little shocked, "I have no doubts that Haldir will put all of Katara's worries to rest, I have no worries. Aunt C, I love you but this time you worry too much. You should have faith in my fiancé. "

"I do have faith in the Marchwarden but you know how stubborn Katara can be when she is determined to get what she wants."

"Ok, enough no more talking about them let's finish the kitchen and figure out what I am cooking for dinner." We turned on the CD player in the kitchen, cleaned and enjoyed the music. After we had finished the kitchen we went into the family room to talk. As we entered the room, I noticed that they were still talking. I stood there watching them for a little while. Their conversation did not seem intense at all; they were very relaxed and laughed with each other. I didn't listen to their conversation. I was just happy to see the two most important people in my life finally getting to know each other.

"Shash, come and sit so we can talk." I sat next to Aunt C but still watched Haldir, "Shash, do you think you could tear yourself from looking at him to listen to me for ten minutes?"

"I am sorry Aunt C, what did you want to talk about?"

She smiled shaking her head, "Well I can not blame you for staring but I wanted to tell you that Katara and I will be leaving to give the two of your time to talk about everything and including your plans to come back after the wedding."

"Thank you, I need to talk to him about so many things and I should do it today. But you will return this evening won't you? I will need you to be here with Haldir while I am at work."

"Of course I will be here. It will give me time to talk with the Marchwarden and get to know him better."

"Well great! And thank you for giving me the entire day with him and I just thought of what I would fix dinner smoked salmon, salad and garlic bread. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect and it looks like he is coming in, but Katara is not."

"It only means that she wants to talk with me. Will you sit with Haldir it won't take long?"

"Of course I will."

I greeted him at the patio door and placed my hand gently on his arm. "My love, how did your talk go with Katara?"

He smiled and kissed me, "It was fine my love and she is waiting for you."

"Haldir are you alright you seem tired?"

"Just a little but I am fine." He came into the room and sat on the couch with Aunt Cloie. He seemed very comfortable with her, which would be natural, considering she is an elf. I went out to the deck where Katara sat on the steps waiting; I went out and sat next to her.

"Hey girl what's up? What did you want to talk about?"

She gave me a hug, "Shash, I have to admit something to you."

"What is that?"

"Forgive me for saying this, but I am truly jealous of what you have with Haldir."

I softly laughed and smiled at her, "You are jealous? Why would you say that?"

"Why? He loves you unconditionally and your wellbeing, your safety and your happiness are all that matters to him."

"And that surprises you?"

"I told him of all that you were leaving behind to be with him, but you never told me that he offered to come here to live with you?"

"Yes, he did but I told him I didn't want that."

"But why, everything that you worked for is here, in your time. Why would you want to be with him in his time?"

"Katara, I missed out on the best part of my father living here and I don't want that for our children. I want them to know that their father is a great warrior, that he is the Marchwarden of Lothlorien. Besides he can teach them so much more and I can and just imagine the stories he would tell them. I don't want to rob them of that not like I was, do you understand?"

"I understand what you are saying but did you ever think of what I will be missing? I know it is selfish for me to think that way but I can't help it. We promised to be there for each through everything from getting married to having our kids. But now that won't happen. Everything has changed now. You will be worlds away and I..I will be here missing my sister and all that she will experience in her life."

I gave her the tightest hug and kissed her cheek, "Girlfriend, do you honestly think I could get married without you being by my side? I mean who else would keep from going crazy and give me the last girl's night out here and in Lothlorien. You have to be there. You are my family." I could not help but feel her pain. I gave her a hug when I pulled back she had started crying, I hated to see her like this, "Katara, please don't cry, I never really thought about it and I should have. I have been so caught up in the whirlwind of finding my soul mate, my love. Can you ever forgive me?"

She was wiping eyes when she smiled and nodded, "There is one thing you can do for me."

"And what is that?"

"I want to know every sorted detail of your wedding night." She had a sinister smile on her face.

"You want to know WHAT! You can't be serious, I mean really?"

"Come on Shash, I am your sister and that is one thing we have always shared no matter what. Why should it change now?"

I just laughed and shook my head, "Well he will be my husband and I think he would frown on me telling of our private moments, don't you think?" .

"Shash, we have done this all the time, please don't change now, ok?"

I just shook my head, "Katara, you have to understand Haldir is a very private elf and me telling you about the most private moment on our wedding night would not go well but I can tell you of everything that happens up to that, ok?."

She looked a little disappointed but she agreed, we gave each other hugs, stood and went back in the house. Haldir and Aunt C were busy chatting away in their elven language. I have to admit that it was nice to hear because their language is so beautiful, to me it sounds like a sweet melody. I sat next to Haldir on the sofa where he sat with Aunt C and Katara sat across from us. I placed my hand in his, and he held it gently. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

Aunt Cloie seemed very much at home with Haldir, "Shash as I told you, Katara and I are going to leave the two of you to spend the rest of the day together, so you can talk to Haldir about your coming back. Remember?"

"Yes, I remember. As a matter of fact that is going to be the first thing I talk about when the two of you leave."

"Good, Katara and I will get dressed and leave shortly, but we will return late this evening around 10:00pm, ok?"

"Sure that will be fine, Aunt C."

She turned just before going up the stairs, "Yes, Shash? Was there something else you needed to talk to me about?"

"No. I just wanted to thank you for reminding me that it is us, just not me now." She smiled and went up the stairs.

Haldir wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace. He gave me a gentle hug, "Shash, I am sorry that you went through all of what you did and I was not here."

I gently stroked his arm and lay my head on his shoulder, "You were with me the entire time. I heard your words and felt your arms around me, just like you are doing now. So I was never alone."

We enjoyed just being together and blocked out the world around us, until we were bought back to reality by Aunt C. "Shash sorry to disturb you but Katara and I are leaving. Do you need anything while we are out?"

"Not that I know of, but maybe a nice herbal tea that Haldir may like?"

"Of course, I will pick something up."

Haldir I need to see them out and of course, Katara just had to make one more sly, quiet remark, "Huh, Shash if you feel the need to "do Haldir" I will not tell anyone." She smiled as went to the car. All I could do was shake my head, "That chick will never change."

Haldir was watching me as I returned to sit next to him, "What are you smiling about, my love?"

"Just laughing at something Katara said, that's all."

He smiled, "Why not tell me?"

"No, that's alright. I will just keep it to myself, ok?"

"Hmmm, you will not tell me, why not?"

"Ok, dear I will tell you what our dear friend said; she told me if I felt the need "to do you" that she would tell no one."

He looked at me oddly, "Do me? What does she mean by that?"

"To make love to you, my dear, if I needed to. Do you think I need to do you?"

He took a deep breath and walked over towards the patio doors and looked out, "Shash, I have thought of being with you many times but you know what my Naneth has said."

"I know my love; I was just repeating what she said, no harm done," I smiled up at him, but he didn't return my gaze. "Haldir what is wrong? You seemed troubled."

He walked past me and sat on the couch and I followed. There was a coffee table in front of the couch and I sat in between his legs in front of him. He scooted forward a little so he could be closer to me. He gently took my hand in his giant ones and caressed them.

"Haldir what is it? You seem so sad."

"I should not have asked you to be my wife until I understood where you were from and what you would have to give up."

I looked at him in shock, "WHAT! What are you talking about it? Does this have to do with you talking to Katara?"

"It does, I learned so much just talking to her about you and what I am asking you to do is too much of a sacrifice for you."

I quickly pulled my hands from his, "Sacrifice, what sacrifice are you talking about?"

"Shash, you leaving here all that you have in this world."

I stood and walked away from him, not looking back at all, "Haldir I am going to tell you this one time and not again, ok?" That is when I looked at him and he nodded yes. I went back to where he was sitting and sat on the coffee table in front of him.

"When I stepped through the window of time and I looked back at you standing there my heart was literally breaking, I could not breathe, all I wanted to do was run back and stay with you in Lorien for the rest of my life. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I don't ever want to experience that again. I don't know how long I was in the woods but when I finally made it home and I walked through my patio doors I stood in this room and just shook my head. I thought to myself that I don't want any of this. I don't want this house, I don't want the things in the house, I don't even have the desire to go to my clinic and you want to know why? Because I did not want to be here without you! None of this means anything without you in my life. I have never felt this way about anyone in my life, so believe me when I tell you, all of what you see in this house means nothing to me because I am meant to be with you and no one else."

I dropped my head in my hands and cried. Haldir gently tilted my head up and wiped my tears away. "My Shash, please do not cry forgive me for what I said. I will never question our love again."

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him, he lay back on the couch and pulled me with him so I sat on his lap. I laid my head on his strong shoulder while he soothed me with his touch and kisses.

"Haldir are we good?" I asked with a tremble in my voice that I couldn't hide, "I mean no more talk about us being a mistake or anything like that?"

I raised my head to look at him and he turned and did the same. "As you would say we are good." He gave me the most beautiful smile. I don't know how long we sat there, just holding hands and looking in each other's eyes.

After some time, Haldir asked, "Will you show me your home now?"

I stood to start tour, "Of course sir, let us start here in the family room. This is where I entertain myself and company, these are some of the electronic things I want to share with you a bit later" And over here is where all of my family photo albums, they are you just like the paintings in your time but we call them photos and we will look at those later."

I motioned for him to follow me to the kitchen, "Here is where I cook which I am sure you remember. This is the stove which is fueled by gas. You turn this knob and there if fire." He jumped back a little when I turned the knob.

"Shash, you use no flint?"

I smiled, "No, just turn the knob that is it. You may try it if you would like just don't stand to close, ok?"

He slowly reached over and turned the knob and the flame came right on, only he was not alarmed this time, "Hmm, it is easier than flint." He gave a soft chuckle.

"Over here is the refrigerator, the top part keeps food cold and the bottom freezes the food."

"I do not understand why would you do that?"

"We do not hunt for food; we go to the food store and buy it. What we do not use right away or have left over goes in the top to be kept cold for later or the bottom to be kept frozen."

I opened the refrigerator to show and let him feel the cold and then opened the bottom so he could feel and see the frozen food. "That is different, I have never seen such. It is like winter storage in your home!"

I smiled, "You know I never thought about it that way, winter storage in my home, fascinating."

"This is a microwave, with this you can warm food up quickly and again no flint plus there is no fire used, which I will show you later. Here we have a toaster, which is used to warm and brown bread or bagels. There are other things that are in the kitchen but I will show you that later." From there we went to the dining room, "This is where I serve my dinners and breakfast when I have guest and through this door we are back in the family room. Please follow me and watch your step and I am sure you remember this is bathroom that I showed you before, over here is the door that leads to the garage where I keep my car." I unlocked the door and opened it showing him my car.

"Shash, what is that?"

"It is how we get around town**. **We do not ride horses here, my love, we ride in cars."

"Inside, you have to ride inside?"

I smiled, "Yes, we do. Maybe I will take you for a ride before you leave then you will know it is perfectly safe, ok?"

He looked at me a little oddly, "Well, I have one more room to show you besides my study,"

I led him to a pair of white sliding doors and opened them, he entered and I stood there watching him. He walked towards the piano and ran his hand along the top of it, he looked over his shoulder at me, "What is this?"

"It is my piano it is called a baby grand piano, one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. When played it is an expression of the person that plays it, you feel it emotionally it's quite beautiful."

"Will you play for me? I would like to experience this beauty."

"Of course, I will." I walked over to the piano, sat down and did some warm up exercises. Haldir walked over to towards the fireplace and looked up at the picture of my parents.

"Shash, are they your parents?"

"Yes, that was taken maybe two years before they were killed. I have never been apart from that picture of them; it's like having them watch over me. I know it sounds odd but sometimes I would come in here sit and just talk to them. It makes me feel close to them."

He returned to where I sat at the piano and stood next to me, "What I am going to play is one of my favorite pieces of music to play it was written by a composer named Chopin. He lived many years ago. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I do."

I have to admit when I play, it relaxes me. It calms my mind and soothes my spirit. Even my dog enjoys it! I glance over at Haldir and his eyes were fixed on my hands while I played, he had such a tranquil look on his face.

When I finished he applauded, "Shash that was beautiful! Can you play another for me?

I was delighted that he wanted to hear another song, "Of course I can, I will now play "Beethoven's' Moonlight Sonata". He leaned against the piano and watched me. I started playing, I glanced up at Haldir and he had closed his eyes and was enjoying it just as much as I if not more. When I finished he applaud again.

"Shash, I do not know what to say, that was beautiful. I wish everyone in Lothlorien could hear you play, I know they will enjoy it as much as I did."

He walked towards me and sat down, taking my hands in his and kissed them. "What more is there to learn about you Shashuwan Shane?"

I smiled, "Hmmm, what more is there? Let me think, I got it!"

"Well tell me what it is, my love?"

I smiled and laughed, "Well I enjoy eating ice cream late at night, I love relaxing in my sweats, t-shirt and no shoes all day. And there is one more thing but I kind of like to keep it to myself."

"Hmmm, keep it to yourself, but I will be your husband no secrets."

I smiled, "Ok, I love to swim in the nude late at night."

This look came over his face of total surprise, "You? Well you will be happy to know that so do I."

I looked at him smiled, "That comes as no surprise to me, matter of fact I can actually see…. never mind." All I can do was shake my head. He returned my smile.

A few minutes later he asked. "Shash, could you show me this security system that your Aunt Cloie was telling me about?"

"Of course, follow me." We left the front room and walked across the foyer to where the security system was mounted on the wall next to the garage entrance. I explained to him how the system worked. I asked him if he had any questions.

"So you are still alone in the house - no one is with you?"

"Well yes and no, if an alarm were to go off the person monitoring my alarm would contact the police immediately and they would be here in a matter of minutes."

He shook his head no, "I am not secure with the idea of them being here in a matter of minutes. You would be safer with them here always."

"Well for now there is a police officer right in front of my house. Come I will show you." He followed me to the front door, I opened it and the officer came over right away.

"Dr. Shane is there a problem?"

"No, I was just assuring my fiancé that I am being well protected and your name is?"

"Officer Mills, Dr. Shane."

"Officer Mills, my fiancé Haldir, Haldir, Officer Mills." The officer put out his and Haldir followed in suit and shook his hand.

"Nice to meet you sir and I promise you we are keeping a close eye on Dr. Shane. Did she tell you that there will be an undercover officer following her wherever she goes? If she hadn't mentioned it, we do. So please don't worry too much." Haldir inclined his head and the officer left.

"Do you feel a little better my love?"

"I am not sure yet, let me think about it."

"Well while you are thinking about it let's get dressed and I will show you around upstairs and then outside." He followed me upstairs to my bedroom where we got dressed and I started my tour again.

"This is my bedroom, of course and here is my bathroom." He walked in and looked at everything he stopped in front of the shower and just stared at it."

"Shash, what is this?"

"It's called a shower where I bathe sometimes."

"How does it work?" I opened the shower door and turned on the water and closed the door.

"Amazing you just turn the knob and you have water, it looks like a waterfall."

"You know I never thought about it that way but you are right it does look like a waterfall." I turned the water off and I just followed him and explained in basic terms what everything was. We left the bedroom and walked through the outer part of my bedroom to the hall and stopped in front of my office door.

"This is where I work when I am not at the office." I opened the door and just stood there for a moment, while Haldir was taking it all in. He then started to explore and asked questions. He was interested in all my books.

"Haldir, do you enjoy reading my love?"

"Yes, I do when I was young I read all the time, except when my brothers were always under foot."

I could not help but laugh, "I know Lyndia told me about it, I think it is very sweet."

He shook his head, "No, it was not." We left my office and I showed him the other rooms upstairs and then we went downstairs to the patio doors out to the backyard. When we left the house behind, Nanuke ran towards us.

I knelt down to greet him, "Here boy! How are you? Did you have a busy morning chasing rabbits and whatever you could find?" He was licking my face. "Ok boy, there is someone I want you to meet, so be nice."

"Haldir, Nanuke. Nanuke, Haldir."

Haldir knelt and said something to him in elven and Nanuke instantly bonded with Haldir. I was amazed! "I can't believe that he took to you like that, usually he is standoffish towards everyone he meets."

"Well my dear, elves have a way with animals."

"I guess so, come I will show you my horse Nubian." We walked across the yard towards the fence and waited for Nubian. I saw his caretaker open the barn door and he walked out, he saw me and trotted over towards me.

"Shash, you have a caretaker for your horse? Why?"

"My job keeps me very busy and sometimes I am not home during the week, so I had to hire someone to take care of my horse when I am not here and there are other horses that he takes care of also."

"Shash he is beautiful!"

I climbed the fence and greeted him, "How are you Nubian? Did you miss me?" He moved his head up and down. "I know. I missed you too. Come I want you to meet someone."

Haldir leaped the fence with little effort and walked towards Nubian, just like Nanuke he reacted the same way towards Haldir. "Wow, he really does like you; I am the only one he lets get close to him except for George whom helps take care of him."

"May I ride him?"

"Of course you can." I motioned for George to saddle Nubian and he came right back and went to Haldir with no hesitation at all.

"Shash you did not have to saddle Nubian?"

"I know, I just wanted to protect my future assets." I said with a sinister grin.

He mounted Nubian and they were both enjoying each other, he was riding my horse as if he had ridden him for years. I stood there watching my love, like I am seeing him for the first time ever, I enjoy watching him and he has such a free spirit about him, not to mention it is very relaxing. I was sitting on the fence when he approached me on my horse.

"So did you enjoy the ride?"

'Yes I did, Nubian is a beautiful horse, he is strong and very willful. He reminds me of you in a lot of ways."

"Of course we have been together for a long time, I was hoping that I may take him with me?"

"Hmmm, I think that can be arranged, my love."

He dismounted from Nubian stroked his mane and turned towards me, "I never thought to ask what you might like to take back?"

I looked at him oddly, "I have not given any thought to what I would like to take."

"Well you should." George came and retrieved Nubian to take him back to the stable.

"Haldir, you should never ask a woman what she would like to take with her when she is moving. It might be more than what you asked for?"

We started walking back toward the house and of course Nanuke was there by Haldir's side. "I know. That is why I asked you, my love."

We returned to the house and sat on the deck stairs and talked, "Shash, I know that you have this security to protect you but I am not comfortable with you being here alone. I want to stay with you but I can not."

"I know. But you do not have to worry even though I'm sure you will worry anyway. Katara and my Aunt Cloie will be staying with me they will not leave me alone for any length of time."

He turned his head to me and smiled, "I know they will, Aunt Cloie has told me that they will be staying with you but I should be the one to protect you not them."

I put my arm around his waist and lay my head on his shoulder, "I know you want to but you have your duties at home. I have my patients to see and business to take care of so much to do. Besides having you here all the time and we can't make love is more than I can handle."

He kissed my forehead and chuckled, "I know what you mean, every time I feel your body against mine it is too much temptation. But I try to control myself because I want our first time to be everything that I have dreamed and more."

I sat up and looked at him, "You have dreamed of our night together? I thought I only did that."

"No, every time I lay with you and so many other times too, I think of what it would be like to hold you in my arms and not have to let go…and I admit to pondering more." He then gave a big yawn.

"Are you tired? Didn't you get enough rest?"

"I thought I did, maybe I should rest just a little longer."

I stood and helped him up, he seemed a little unsteady so I helped into the house, "Lie here on the couch and sleep while I do some work, ok?"

He nodded yes and before long he was out like a light. I knew he was just a little tired because he had his eyes open and yes it still gives me the creeps when he does that but I have to get use to that and so many other things.

I gathered up what I had to work and sat in the recliner and watched him sleep and wondered how I got so lucky when my life was going so wrong. I sat there and worked for three hours till I realized I needed to cook dinner. I went in the kitchen and started cooking when I finished, I was thinking it was a nice enough Indian summer evening to have dinner on the deck. So I set the table outside with flowers and a couple candles. I checked on dinner making sure everything was nearly ready; I went upstairs bathed and changed into a simple black dress. But this was more than a simple black dress, this was the black dress! It had short sleeves, cut low in the front, a split on the right side. I put my hair up and added a pair of black stilettoes. I wanted him to see me as I really am when I am out. I went downstairs and he was sitting there looking through my photo albums.

I stopped and just watched him, "I know you are there my love, I have been waiting for you for quite some time. What took you so long?" He turned in his seat then his eyes fell upon me. He said nothing; he just stared at me as if he were trying to take a mental picture.

"Haldir what's wrong? If you don't like what I have on, I will change."

He stood and put out his hand for me and I walked over and placed mine in his. "You are beautiful; I have never seen a dress like this before."

"I wanted you to see how I dress when I go out or have someone very special over for dinner. Come have with me, please?"

He followed me out to the deck where I showed him his seat; I returned to the house to get our dinner and served him. I poured him a glass of wine and sat across from him.

"Tonight we are having smoked salmon, rice and salad, I hope you like it."

"I am sure I will." He started eating while I sat there anxiously awaiting his response.

"This is delicious, I have had fish before but not like this, I applaud the cook."

I let out a soft laugh, "Well thank you, I was not sure if you would but I took a chance."

We enjoyed our meal and the conversation while listening to soft jazz in the background.

I had just finished my meal and decided to talk to my love about me returning after the wedding, I sipped my wine and began. "Haldir, I need to speak with you about something it is very important."

He had just finished his meal, drained his glass of wine. "Of course, it seems serious what

is wrong?"

"What I have to talk to you about is me returning after our wedding but I will only do this if you approve of it."

"Returning after our wedding? Why would you do that? I thought that once you returned with me, you would not need to come back? What has changed?"

"I told you that I had to transfer ownership of my clinic and I have already talked my attorney about drawing up the papers I need. I have already talked to Theresa about taking over and that Katara would be the office manager and her right hand go to person."

"So why would you have to return, it seems you have taken care of what you needed to do, so why return?"

"Haldir, this is my clinic, this is what I went to school for, it is my dream. I am turning over my dream to two of my best friends to run, not to mention the parents of the children that I take care of; they have trusted me with the care of their children and now I am leaving them. I have to be there for the transition, I want to make sure that the parents and the children are comfortable with all of the changes, plus I have to say goodbye to all my little ones. That is why I am asking your permission to do this, you will be my husband and I know you have your duties and obligations to take care of, if you can not come back with me then I will not return."

"Shash, this is very important to you and I understand why, I can not give you an answer right now but I will once I find out. I want to thank you thinking of my duties and my obligations a head of your own. But I know and understand how important your clinic is to you especially the children and their parents; I will let you know as soon as I get home. And how long will you need to be here?"

"Two months if that long, I promise no longer."

He looked at me and smiled, "Just two months, my love?"

"Yes, that is all I would need."

"As I said, I will let you know my love. I know that the transition from your world to mine will not be easy for you and I know that I would want to be there every step of the way with you. Like you want to be there for the children in your clinic, so I promise I will let you know.'

I smiled, "Thank you, my love"

When we finished he helped me clear the table and I showed him how to run the dishwasher, afterwards we had another glass of wine while sitting on the couch listening to the music.

"Shash the meal was wonderful, but the company was much better."

"Thank you, I am happy you enjoyed the meal and the company".

"Shash, the music, what do you call it?"

"It is called smooth Jazz or easy listening music, do you like it?"

"Yes, but what I find calming and easy to listen to is you. Is your dress torn on the side?"

I laughed, "No, it is made that way we call it being sensual."

"Sensual? But you are sensual in whatever you wear. I have seen this for myself. Do you doubt what I say?"

"No, I don't doubt you, I believe everything you have said but you may be a little bias towards me since I will be your wife."

"No, Shash..." I quickly gave him a kiss to stop his rebuttal.

"I don't want to talk anymore; I would rather taste your warm lips."

He nodded and I indulged myself completely. We knew we shouldn't, but we are meant to be together. It felt like drinking you favorite beverage and you can't stop. Before I knew it I ended up sitting on his lap.

"Shash, you are eager tonight and I understand why but sometimes it is better to show control and enjoy every minute we have together. I am not saying that I do not feel the same way. I want you every time I am near you, especially when I lie next to you every night it is hard to control my passion and longing for you. Right now I want to take you upstairs and make love to you all night and in to the next day but I can not. I enjoy being here with you like this caressing you, feeling you in my arms, tasting your lips and smelling the lovely scent of your skin and remembering how soft and beautiful you are. This is what I want while I am here."

"Are upset with me?"

"No, I am not, I could never be upset with you, like I have said before, you are different from any woman I have ever been with. You do not hold back what you are feeling or what is on your mind and you challenge me. We can learn a lot from each other and that is one of the things I look forward to most."

I kissed him on his cheek and laid my head on his shoulder while he gently removed my shoes from my feet. "Shash, are you comfortable in these shoes?"

"Yes, don't you like them?"

"Yes, I do but to me they look more like something you could use to do harm to someone."

I laughed, "No, they simply make my legs look longer and sexier, don't you think?"

He gently stroked my leg and kissed my knee, "You do not need this to be sexy or even to get my attention you will always have my attention but, I do enjoy your creativity."

"Well thank you, Marchwarden. So I have your attention now?"

"Are the doors secured?"

"Yes and I don't have to set the alarm since you are here. Why do you ask?"

He stood with me in his arms and we went upstairs to my room and shut the door behind us. He gently put me down and stood there looking at me.

"Could you do something for me?"

"Yes, what is that my love?"

"What you wore to bed on our last night together, could you put that on?"

I looked at him and smiled, "Of course I can, but why?"

"If you must know, I enjoyed the way you look in it. I think about it all the time."

I went to the drawer and pulled out the same short outfit that I wore that night and went to the bathroom to change. When I returned he was already in bed, in his own silk pajama pants, waiting for me.

"Do you like this one, its silk and in my favorite color red." I got in bed next to him. He pulled me in his arms and held me."

"Yes, I do like it and this is what I need most is to hold you in my arms."

I reached behind him turned off the lights and slept feeling safe as I did when I was in Lorien with him.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

The next morning when I awoke and looked at the alarm clock I realized I was running very late.

"Damn, I am late!" I hurried out of bed jumped in the shower. Just as I got out I heard Haldir calling for me**.** I dried off put my robe on so I could check on him.

"Good morning babe," I said as I walked into the room. How are you?"

"I am fine**,** but why are you leaving?"

I was busy applying lotion and getting dressed for work, I had just put my pantyhose and skirt on while Haldir was asking me various questions.

I didn't know that he was watching me, "Shash, what are you putting on and why?"

"Well they are called pantyhose it is part of being what is called "dressing professionally" and it is something that all woman wear when working in an office. And to answer your first question I am on my way to work"

"May I feel them?'

"Well yes, you may." I walked over towards the bed and sat across from him crossing my legs. I gently lifted his hand and placed it on my leg. He ran his hand down then up my leg just pass my knee sending chills through my body, while gazing in my eyes.

"They are very soft, silky like my PJ's you gave me. I like the way they feel on you." He moved forward and kissed me and I returned the kiss, I almost forgot that I had to hurry and finish getting dressed.

I slowly pulled back and took a deep breath, "Haldir, you keep that up and I will not want to leave you."

"Shash, you do not want to leave me now, but I know you have to go to work."

I sat there staring at him and just shook my head, "You are so full of yourself and sometimes I don't know what I shall do with you!"

He gave me that sexy grin, "I am sure you have some idea by now, don't you?"

I stood up, "Ok, I am not going to respond to what you just said. We will leave it at that."

"As you wish my love, go and continue getting dress, I will sit here and watch if you do not mind?"

"No not at all." I continued getting dressed and there was a knock at the door.

"Yes, come in."

It was Katara, "Good Morning Shash, Haldir, I thought you would be ready to go by now what happened?" she said smiling

Haldir was still in bed, "Katara, please not now. Could you go ahead to the office and I will be there in about an hour or less, ok?"

"Sure so would you like me to push back your appointments?"

"No, wait yes I know for a fact I will get caught in the morning traffic so could you? I will call you when I leave, okay? And could you send Aunt Cloie in? Thank you."

"Sure, I will send her right in and I will see you at work." She glanced towards the hot elf in my bed and told him, "Haldir**,** I will see you later."

I went to my dresser and pinned my hair up, put on a little bit of makeup and my earrings. While I was doing all of this, Haldir was watching my every move.

"My love, I am sorry for rushing but like I said earlier I am on my way to work and I will be back before evening, ok? And Aunt Cloie will be here with you, so if you need anything please let her know."

"You will be gone all day?"

"Well I should be back in time for dinner, I am sorry I have to leave but I have little patients waiting to see me, do you understand?" Just as I said that Aunt Cloie knocked on the door, "Come in!"

"Shash, you are running late, what happened?"

"I forgot to set my alarm and I was sleeping so comfortably with Haldir…"

"No need to finish, I understand."

I was busy trying to find a white blouse to put on while Aunt Cloie was talking to me**. **"Shash, don't worry about Haldir, I will take good care of him. Besides it will be nice to talk with someone from my homeland."

I came out of my walk-in closet and Haldir was getting out of bed putting on his long black silk robe.

"Ok, I have everything," I muttered to myself. "I need, purse, briefcase and files. Oh yes almost forgot my ear piece." I put my ear piece in my ear and left the room, I was followed by Haldir and Aunt Cloie all the way to the garage. I placed my things on the passenger seat next to me and almost forgot something very important**,** kissing my love goodbye.

He looked very oddly at the car as I was getting in, "Haldir, remember I showed you my car and that we don't ride on horses?"

"I do recall, but it is just so strange I must wonder, is it safe?"

He stood there just watching me and did not say another word, "Haldir, I will return much later today but if you should need me just call…wow what was I thinking," I said, lightly smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand" You can reach me with your mind and your love."

"No, need to worry**. **My love is with you always."

"I will miss you." He took me in his arms and kissed me**,** which I did not rush.

"Well I will be home for more of your kisses." I told Haldir with a final sweet kiss. With his arm still around my waist I turned to Aunt Cloie, "Please take care of him for me."

"Of course I will. You better hurry**,** but please drive safely." I got in the car, buckled up and pressed the remote for the garage door opener. They left the garage and went out the front door while I backed out the garage; I stopped to say the good bye to my love one more time. I motioned for him to come over to the car, "Haldir, I know you will enjoy your day with Aunt C and if you need anything she will be more than happy to get it for you, ok?"

He smiled, "I will be just fine with Aunt Cloie, do not worry Shash."

I leaned my head out the window and kissed him, "If you need me you know how to reach me."  
He gave me that stop worrying look, "Shash stop, I will be fine**. **Now go and be safe."

Before I pulled off the undercover officer pulled in my driveway to talk and he got back in his car and waited for me to back out the drive. I stopped, wave goodbye and pulled off. I hated leaving him but I had to go to work and the Sheriff followed me.

When I arrived at work, I parkedandgathered my things**. **As I looked at my clinic**,** I remembered the first day it opened. In the beginning, it was a struggle but once word got out that compassionate, affordable medical care could be had, it was wonderful. I am so proud of it and if my parents were alive they would love it. I took a deep breath, grasped my stuff more securely and I went inside to start my day.

My first day back at work was more than busy, it was downright hectic! I had four consultations and I had six new patients, not mention all the questions that morning about the ring on my finger! During lunch I made the announcement of my engagement. Everyone was very happy to hear about it and insisted on meeting him**. **I told them I would see if he would come to work with me another day.

When I returned to my office, I got the strangest feeling that something was wrong, I tried to ignore it but I couldn't, _"Haldir, what is wrong?"_

"_Shash…"_

"_What is wrong? Is everything alright?"_

"_I have heard so much…everyone and everything was so loud! I could not concentrate on anything and now I am just weary."_

"_Haldir, are you alright? Do you need me? Haldir talk to me please?" _

Immediately I called my Aunt, "Aunt Cloie? What is wrong with Haldir, he had mind spoke me but said sounded very fatigued. Is he alright?"

"Shash, I was just going to call you, to see you so you could check on him before I go home. Can you come out to the car and do that?"

"Well, of course how far away are you?"

"We will be there in ten minutes, ok?"

"I'll be downstairs waiting." We hung up and I immediately let Katara know where I will be.

"Katara, just take my calls, Aunt C is on her way with Haldir. I will be right back," I told her not noticing her look of concern.

I went to the lobby and anxiously waited for them, I was so worried about him that I could not help but pace the lobby waiting. Finally I went outside hoping that would make her arrive quicker and before long she pulled up in her car. I immediately went to the passenger side where Haldir was seated and opened the car door.

I knelt down and gently placed his hand in mine and said his name, "Haldir? It's Shash, please look at me."

He slowly opened his eyes and smiled, "Shash, I am happy to see you."

"How do you feel?"

"My head hurts and I am very tired, I would like to go and lie down. Will you come with me?"

Aunt Cloie filled me in oh what happened, "Shashuwan, I am sure you know that elves hearing is heightened?"

"Yes, I do Aunt Cloie."

"Our heightened hearing makes us very sensitive to very loud sounds. Everything that Haldir heard today was new to him and could have harmed him. I blame myself for what has happened to him, I should have taken better care of him. Do you forgive me?"

I smiled, "Aunt Cloie, I blame you for nothing, besides I am sure he was excited about being out today." I turned my attention to Haldir, "I have to gather up some things in my office, I will stop and maybe get you some earplugs for those beautiful sensitive ears, ok?" He managed a smile for me; I stood and gently kissed his lips and then his cheek.

"Aunt Cloie, please take him home and put him to bed. Oh and if there is any of the tea left that he bought with him, please prepare it and give it to him, ok?"

"Of course, I will do as you ask."

I started to shut the car door when he spoke my name, "Shash, I have so much to tell you of what I saw and heard."

I placed my finger on his lips, "Shhh, no more talking close your eyes and rest. When I get home we will talk, ok?"

"I would like that and I will do as you ask."

"Aunt Cloie, when you get home please keep it quite as possible, ok?"

Aunt Cloie was very concerned, "Shash, please hurry home."

"I will be leaving in about 10 minutes." I gave Haldir a kiss on the cheek, gently closed the car door and watched them leave. I hurried back to my office to gather up my things. At the same time I called Theresa and asked her about the where to buy earplugs. I told her they were for Aunt Cloie and some other lame excuse. She told me exactly what to get and where to go, I quickly thanked her and was off the phone.

Katara, entered the office with a thousand questions, "Shash, what is wrong with Haldir?"

"He is not feeling well, something to do with the noise and his hearing."

"What? What do you mean?" I stopped and took a deep breath.

"I am sorry. It seems that Haldir's hearing is very sensitive to high levels of noise and right now he is feeling the effects of it. So I must go and take care of him."

"Well go now; call me if you need anything, ok?"

"I am sorry about leaving you like this but I have to go to him."

"Hey no apologies! Go see about Haldir." I quickly left. On my way home, I stopped and picked up the ear plugs, I even stopped at an herbal store and asked for an herbal tea for pain, just in case I needed it. I left the store and headed home. When I got home the entire house was very quiet, instead of calling out for Aunt C, I went looking.

She was in the kitchen, "Aunt Cloie, how is he?"

"He is trying to sleep but his headache is very bad but having you here will help him, I have already given him the tea but I think the entire outing was just too stressful for him. Go to him. Put your things on the counter, I will take them to your office." I did as she said and went upstairs to see about my love. I quietly opened the bedroom door not wanting to disturb him but he was very restless.

"Babe, how are you?"

I quickly went to where he lay on the bed and sat next to him, "Shash, I thought you would still be at work but you are here?" He said in a hush voice, he was trying to sit up but I stopped him, 'The noises of your world proved to be a bit too much for me."

"No, don't try to sit up and just lie down what can I do for you?"

"Will you lay with me?"

"Of course I will." I quickly changed out of my dress clothes and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and got in bed. He lay across my lap and I gently stroked his head and back. He slowly drifted off into to a deep sleep. Aunt C came upstairs to check on him, she peaked in and for the first time I mind spoke with her.

"_Aunt Cloie, he just drifted off to sleep. I will be down later. Thank you for taking care of him."_

"_Shashuwan! I had no idea that you had the ability to mind speak but I am proud to know that. You and I will talk later."_

"_Again, thank you."_

She left us alone and I took a little nap myself. I only slept for an hour, when I woke it was close to 5:00pm; I knew he was in a deep sleep and still not feeling quite up to snuff, as his eyes were closed. I am still not used to elves sleeping with their eyes open.

I gently got out of bed so as not to disturb him and went to my study to finish typing, printing and signing my letters, as Katara requested of me. Before long Aunt Cloie joined me in my study.

"Shashuwan, can we talk?"

"Sure Aunt Cloie come in. What is on your mind?"

"When were you able to mind speak?"

"I have been able since I was 12 years old, but most of the time it just gave me terrible headaches. My mother took me to doctor and they just assumed they were migraines, so that is what I let them think."

"Did your father know you had this gift? Did he show you how to control and use it?"

I smiled, "Yes, my father knew and he did try to teach me how to control it but my mother kept giving me the medicine which somehow blocked it. I have to admit my father was not very happy about it, but it was what my mother wanted."

She looked at me and shook her head, "I understand fully why you want to be with Haldir in Lothlorien, it is the best thing to do for you and Haldir and any young ones that come along."

"Do you really understand Aunt Cloie?"

"Yes, I do, if Haldir lived with you here, it would limit him greatly and that would do more harm to him than good."

I leaned over and gave her a hug, "Thank you for understanding and seeing what I am talking about. I want our children to know who their father really is and I want nothing to hinder them from being like him in every way."

"Well, it seems that you know exactly what you are doing when it comes to leaving and going after what you want but, have you given any thought in what it will be like to live in Lothlorien without your luxuries? Like running water, electric, a toilet, stove and a refrigerator?"

"Well? I have thought about it and I have seen how they live but I have not really experienced it on my own because Lyndia has always been there by my side…"

Aunt Cloie sat there just smiling at me, as if she were saying "She finally got it."

"Wait a minute, so Lyndia will be to me what you were to my parents?"

"Yes, she will be by your side every step of the way, like I was there for your father and yourself. Shashuwan, what Lady Galadriel has asked Lyndia to do is like a calling, giving their life to others. It is an honor to be selected to do this, so don't ever think it is something she has to do because I know she loves you as a daughter like I loved your mother."

I gave Aunt Cloie the biggest hug, "Thank you, for telling me that it explains a lot and I too love her very much, when were together it feels right like it was meant to be we just seemed to click. But, can I ask you a question? Has Haldir mentioned anything about any regrets about me becoming his wife?"

"Shash, I know why you asked but believe me, he has no regrets. His only concern is your wellbeing and happiness. You have nothing to worry about where he is concerned, ok?"

I gave her slight smile, "Thank you for putting my heart at rest."

"Don't thank me; I am just repeating what he said."

"Aunt C, could you tell me about his day? How he reacted to everything?"

She smiled, "Of course I can I was hoping you would ask, but tell me what you felt."

"I felt apprehensiveness, anxiety, curiosity and confusion, like he was unable to concentrate on one thing."

"Well you are correct, he had questions about our buildings, highways, people and the way they dressed. But there were two things that bother him the most, the noise and the air."

"I can understand that. He is use to living in Lothlorien where the air is clean and pure. And the noise must have been overwhelming for him in so many ways, they don't have that in Lothlorien, it is peaceful where he is from." I got up and started pacing, "What was I thinking, having him come here and me without thinking about his welfare? I could have harmed him! Aunt Cloie, what have I done, I should have stopped him from coming!"

"Shashuwan, there is nothing you could have done to stop him from coming to be by your side but he is fine now, like myself there were a few bumps in the road but I adjusted. There is only one difference I stayed and he is not." She gave me hug and continued telling me about his day. 'Well our first stop was going to your friend Antonio's clothing store, which proved to be very interesting in more ways than one."

I sat down at my desk, "Aunt Cloie, please do tell."

"Well you know how Antonio gets when he sees a good looking man?"

I smiled, "Oh yes, I remember."

"Well, when he laid eyes on Haldir he just about lost it, I wish you had been there it was so funny but I kept my laughter to myself. Oh and Haldir he stood there giving him that look, like what?"

"I wish, I had been there but did he get through the fitting alright?"

"Yes, he did. He did get a little inpatient with trying on all the clothes but we did pick out three suits and some casual ware, which you did notice when you came to the car?"

"Oh, believe me I did, I was just so worried about him but I will let him know when we talk."

"Good because his intention was to surprise you and make you happy, as always."

"He is amazing and one very sexy elf isn't he?"

She smiled and fanned herself, "Don't think I have not noticed, I know sexy when I see it and your elf, is all that as Katara would say." All I could do was smile at what she said.

"So, you have a thing for my fiancé? Aunt Cloie?"

"Well, he is nice to look at and those eyes, you can get lost in them." She just looked away from me.

"Hum, it's not like I can disagree with you but I have no worries, he is all mine in every way."

"That is true," I looked at my watch and it was almost dinner time. "Hey, have you heard from Katara?"

"Yes, it seems we are having pizza and tonight. Oh and she thought it would be nice to have a family video night."

"Family video night? But why?"

"She, well we thought it would be nice if Haldir could see you with your mother and father."

"You know how I feel about watching them, it's hard and you know that," I sighed in mild frustration, "but if we must; I will do my best not to get too emotional."

She kissed me on my cheek, "Good girl. Why don't you get started on what you have to do, ok?" She left my study and I started working on my letters so they could go out tomorrow morning. I finished six letters of resignation from research projects four I was participating in and the other two were for next year. I had just printed my fourth one when I felt him waking up; I immediately went to check on him.

I entered the room, walked towards the bed where he was just waking up I sat down on the bed facing him. "Hey are you feeling better?'

He sat up and ran his hand threw his hair pushing it back out of his face, "I feel much better because of you."

I took a deep breath, "If you say so, can I get you anything?"

"Water would be a start?" I went downstairs, got him a glass of cold water and returned to him.

"Here is your water," I said handing him the chilled glass. "I hope it helps. Would you like anything else?"

"Your lips are all I need."

I leaned in towards him, "I think I can manage that." And placed a kiss on his lips and started to pull back but he wanted more. He gently pulled me over his hip and laid me on the bed we shared more than just one kiss. He was gently kissing me on my neck before I could say anything.

"I thought it was just one kiss?"

He never removed his lips from my neck, "Never just one." Nothing else was said after that but just pure enjoyment. We know when to stop, but sometimes it can get out of control. He pulled back and took a deep breath. "Shash, I think we should stop, your skin is on fire and so is mine."

I was trying to catch my breath, "Haldir, let me up please I need air." He quickly got up so I could; I went and opened the window, letting the cool night air cool my body while I was taking deeps breaths trying to calm myself. I removed the hair band from my wrist and pulled my hair back in a ponytail still enjoyed the cool breeze.

"Are you alright my love?" Haldir asked with concern in his voice.

"I am fine, it's just getting more difficult to control myself when I am with you and I want you and need you so badly!" He got out of bed, walked over to where I stood and slipped his arms around my waist pulling me back so I could relax against him.

"Shash, I know how you feel for I feel the same way. It will be our time soon. Do you believe me?"

"I do, I believe in everything you say Haldir."

"Good, then no more talk of it and we will have to try a little more self-control?"

I looked at him and smiled, "Really? You and I self-control, do you really think we can do it, Haldir?"

He arched an eyebrow, "We could certainly try?"

"If you say so, but right now I would like to hear about your day with Aunt Cloie." We went to the sitting room just outside my bedroom and talked.

"Shash, I want to apologize."

"Why would you do that?"

"For you having to leave work early; I know you only have a limited amount of time and how important your work is to you."

I placed a kiss on his lips, "Haldir, nothing is more important than you! Don't ever forget that, ok?"

He smiled, "I will not."

"So the noise in my world proved to be too much for you?"

"Yes, I have never heard so much at one time, it was very difficult for me to concentrate on anything. I do not understand how Aunt Cloie does it?"

"Well, when I was little I remember that she always wore ear plugs**. **I never understood it until now**. **And she has been here for a very long time now. So she has adapted quite well."

I reached in my bag on the floor for the ear plugs I had bought him, "To help you with the heighten noise here in my world, I bought you ear plugs for those beautiful ears."

He took them in the palm of his hand and looked at them awkwardly. "What should I do with these?"

"They go in your ears to help soften the noise around you."

"They are so small are you sure then will help?"

"Haldir, are you questioning my abilities as your healer? I will never do anything to harm you." I said with a slight smile on my face.

Haldir arched an eyebrow, "You know I trust you always, Shash."

"I am sorry Haldir; I did not mean to make fun."

"No harm done, Shash, but I will do as you ask."

I smiled, "But you do not need them right now only when you leave the house, ok? Aunt Cloie will insert them in your ears for you."

"I will do as you say."

"Tell me what else did you encounter in my world today?"

He sat back on the sofa and got comfortable, "I saw great towers and many colors upon on them, these towers how are they built?"

"Haldir, some things I am not very knowledgeable but from what I have seen, we use steel and cement, there are also different machines that are used. And here they are not called towers, well some are but we mostly call them buildings, ok?"

"Some are called towers? But some are called buildings, is this correct?"

I nodded yes, "The only way I know of explaining this to you is to show you but we will do this another time. As for the colors, were they lighting up like fireworks in the sky or was the light constant?" He looked at me in puzzlement. "I am sorry Haldir. Do you know what fireworks are?"

"I know of fireworks."

"Ok, good. The many colors are called lights just like in my bedroom but much bigger and they come in different colors. Like I said I will have to show you. Hopefully I can show you tomorrow."

He took a deep breath and let it out, "I have many other questions, but right now I am hungry."

"Great! I think Katara has just arrived with dinner."

"What are we having this evening?"

"Pizza and beer or you may call it ale." We left my bedroom and headed downstairs to join Katara and Aunt Cloie.

Katara greeted Haldir, "Hey, are you feeling better? I was really worried about you." She gave him a brief hug and he did the same.

"Katara, I am fine thank you."

"Great, so tonight Haldir, we are having pizza and beer, we will also be watching some family DVD's of Shash and I growing up." Haldir sat on the couch between me and Aunt Cloie; I placed a slice of pizza on a plate and handed it to him. He looked at it a little strange.

"Shash, what is this?"

"It is pizza and I am sure it is nothing that you have not already had the crust is dough then there is tomato sauce, cheese, sausage, pepperoni, green peppers, onion, yellow peppers and mushrooms and of course we have a pizza with that cheese. Oh, yes and beer."

Katara was watching Haldir and assisted, "Haldir, just pick it up and take a bite. It's great!"

She did it and he did the same, "So this is called pizza? I like it." And finished his slice and started on another.

I was a little concerned as he practically inhaled the new food, "Haldir, slow down I know it is good**, **but I don't want you to get sick over it!Would you like a beer?"

He took the beer I offered and drank it, "It is good, what do you call it again?"

"Well it is a beer and the name of it is Corona, it is my favorite."

He drank some more and ate more pizza, "Maybe you can prepare pizza for my brothers, I know they would like it."

I laughed, "I am sure I can, I will work on that."

Katara did the honors of explain to Haldir what he was about to view, "Haldir, I am sure you will enjoy what you are about to view it is what we call showing moving pictures or a video of your future wife when she was very young." She picked up the DVD remote and started my life, for Haldir. He sat there watching in total disbelief; he even got up walked over and touched the screen to convince himself that these were just images.

"Shash, this is amazing and it is not magic or sorcery?"

"No my love it is how things are done in my world." Come side down and as we say, enjoy the show. We sat there for two hours watching my family and hers.

Katara started laughing, "Shash, remember when we camping and the visitor we had in our tent?"

I started laughing, "You mean the huge snake that was going to eat us?"

She laughed, "Yes! We woke up screaming for our dads and ran out the tent!"

I could not stop laughing, "And our dads ran right into us asking what was wrong?"

She could barely finish from laughing so hard, "There is a big snake and it's going to eat us! And they ran in the tent and came out laughing at us!"

Haldir looked worried, "Why would they laugh at you?"

Katara and I looked at each other and busted out laughing again, "Because it was a little garden snake. Our fathers laughed even harder at us."

Katara finished the story, "Shash, do you remember what James…" Katara looked at me and I at her.

I finished what she started to say, "And James said, "Well I guess you girly girls would be afraid of this hairy spider and chased us around the camp site with it."

Katara looked at me, "All of our memories involve James, is it wrong to talk about them?"

I walked over to where she sat and knelt, "No, because that James is the brother that we want to remember up till a year ago, so there is nothing wrong with talking about our childhood memories, ok?" I gave her a hug and she was fine.

"Shash, did you tell Haldir about the skunk we encountered in the woods?" This time Haldir started laughing aloud.

"Yes, she did and I love that story and Katara your memories of your brother are fine, you should keep those memories alive."

Haldir went to where she sat and knelt next to her and gently took her hand in his, "Thank you, Haldir. I don't know what happened to him and why he did this to Shash, it breaks my heart, I just wish I could understand." She started crying and Haldir held her.

"Katara, it is not for us to understand why men do what they do, it is up to us to make sure it never happens again." Haldir stood and returned to where he was seated on the couch between to Aunt Cloie and reached for another slice of pizza. We started watching the family video's again.

The video started showing my 14th birthday and when my parents were on the screen I could not bear to watch. So I quietly removed the beers bottles and the pizza that was left over and went into the kitchen to put the leftovers away. I also disposed of the pizza box and recycled the empty bottles. I fixed myself a cup of tea and returned to the family room where they had finished watching the video.

I sat down next to Haldir, "So did you enjoy the family video time, my love?"

He smiled, "Yes, I did and you were such, let me think I heard Katara say it, one cute little girl but very willful."

I smiled and turned away, "Yes, I was very willful at one time, but a lot has changed in me since."

"Shash," Haldir asked, while he held my hands in his, "Why did you leave the room during the family video?"

"Haldir come with me and I will tell you." We went outside on the deck so we could talk, "It is around the time when my parents died and they just aren't there anymore," I said with a sad shrug. "Sometimes I can watch it and other times I can't."

Haldir gently placed his finger under my chin and tilted my face up towards his gaze, "Shash, I understand about you being upset about your parents but I also see how you have gone beyond that and accomplished so much. I know that your parents are proud of everything you have done with your life."

I smiled at him, "Thank you, Haldir. Tell me why are you so wise?"

He smiled at me, "My immortality. When you live a long life, you hear and see many things. You learn and grow a lot from watching people, both mortal and immortal."

"Maybe one day I will be wise as you?"

He smiled, "I do not know why not, you are already wise in so many ways."

"Well maybe in this world, but I will still have a lot to learn since I will be moving to Lorien soon." He smiled and slipped his arm around me gave me a hug and kissed my neck. And yet again Katara interrupted a perfect moment.

"All right you two stop enough of that, Shash you and I have to finish the letters so they can be sent out with FedEx tomorrow morning. Once we finish that you can get back to your handsome elf," she quipped with a backwards glance and wink at Haldir.

The three of us went inside and Katara went upstairs to wait for me in the study. I returned the kiss and left my love in the hands of my Aunt whom did not mind at all**.** I know for a fact that she enjoyed the chance to hold a conversation in her own native tongue.

I went upstairs to finish what I had started. We proof read every letter, filled out the FedEx information and before long we were finished. I took them to my car so I could drop them off at the FedEx office tomorrow morning. While Haldir and Aunt Cloie were caught up in their conversation, Katara was still in my study finishing up some paperwork**. ** I went to my bedroom to put together my outfit for tomorrow evening with Haldir. I picked out a beautiful long black strapless dress with a split on the right side, a pair of red ankle strapped open toe stilettos, red hand clutch and a red wrap. I also packed everything else I needed for that evening. I picked up his ear plugs and went downstairs to give them to Aunt Cloie so she could show Haldir, how to use them. As always they were in the midst of another lively conversation.

"Excuse me," I felt badly about interrupting. "Should I come back later?"

"No Shash, Haldir was simply filling me in on everything that has changed over the past years in Lothlorien and Rivendell."

I sat down in front of them on the coffee table, "Well I can tell you that Lothlorien is enchanting, mystical and beautiful, in so many different ways."

Aunt Cloie took a deep sigh, "Humm, I do miss my homeland I can't wait to lay my eyes upon Middle Earth. It's been so long since I have seen the lovely malorn trees of Lothlorien and the celestial beauty of Rivendell." She closed her eyes remembering some of what she had missed, as she watched over me all these years.

Haldir gently placed his hand on hers, "Aunt Cloie, why not come back to Middle Earth? Why would you stay here?"

She placed her hand a top of his and gently squeezed, "Haldir, I have lived here for nearly 34 years now this is my home and I wanted to be close to Katara, I also have other interest that holds me here." She smiled looking at me.

"Haldir, she will be returning for our wedding but I know for a fact that her heart is in my home, you see she follows her heart like I do."

He smiled, "Aunt Cloie, I wish you the best and may the light of Lothlorien shine on you always."

"Thank you, Marchwarden and I wish you the same. If you will excuse me, I shall retire for the evening and Shash do not stay up too late."

"I will be going to bed soon, Aunt Cloie**." ** I almost forgot here are the earplugs that I purchased for Haldir**. **They come withdirections and please clean them before using them. Thanks!" Just as I said that I started to yawn and rub my eyes.

"Shash, are you that tired this evening?" Haldir said with concern.

"Yes, I am but don't worry**. **It is always like this whenever I return, even from a long weekend. There's always lots of work to catch up with, consultations and patients, it is something that I deal with on a constant basis. So yes, I'm tired. But, I'm fine. Did Aunt Cloie or Katara talk to you about tomorrow?"

"Yes, Aunt Cloie had mentioned that perhaps I might come to your job tomorrow but nothing more, why?"

"Well I should have asked if you would like to come to my clinic tomorrow afternoon and I had hoped that we could have dinner tomorrow night just the two of us at my favorite restaurant? That is if you want to and depending on how you are feeling."

"Shash, I would like to see your clinic and have dinner with you. It would be just the two of us?"

"Just you and I, maybe we could go for a walk along the riverbank?"

"I will enjoy spending the evening with you**,** my love."

I looked at him and smiled, "Really? Are you sure you want to go out and brave my noisy world again?'

"There is no place I would rather be than with you."

I gave him a hug, "Thank you, if you don't feel well tomorrow, I will understand."

"Shash, I will be fine."

I started to yawn when Katara came down the stairs, "Hey Shash, I am happy you are still up, I need for you to come look of the last of the letters and sign them and there are two other things that need your attention from your attorney."

"Ok, I am on my way up now."

Haldir and I followed Katara upstairs to my study. "Haldir, why don't you wait for me in the bedroom, ok?"

"I will be reading a book that Aunt Cloie gave me but do not be too long." He said smiling.

"Ok, what is that smile for my love?"

"I always considered this our special time together just the two of us talking**."**

"Well it should not take long." He left and went my room and I to finish up my letters.

"Ok, lady you have my undivided attention now, what do you need?"

"Well I finished up the last of the letters, I need for you to look them over and sign them after that I need you to look over these conventions to see if you wanted to attend them and here is the package from your attorney and accountant. After you have signed just put them in the FedEx envelopes. Would you like for me to drop them off for you tomorrow morning?"

"No, Katara, I will do it but thanks anyway."

"Well I am all finished here, so are you and Haldir going out tomorrow for dinner?"

"Yes, we are and I have already made the reservations for 5:30pm, so please remind me at 3:00pm so I can get ready? You know how I don't pay attention to time."

She laughed, "I will, I am going to go and watch a little TV before I turn in, ok?"

"Sure, Katara I want to thank you for everything you have done for me, I could not have managed anything without your help."

"No need to thank me. We are in this together, I told you that when we started this clinic together. Goodnight Shash." She left and I assumed she enjoyed the rest of her evening. As for me, I was stuck signing letters which did not take long at all and looking over what my attorney and accountant sent me, was a rough draft of what he was putting together for the transfer of my clinic to Theresa and Katara. I only got through half of it before I realized it was going on 11:00pm and I was exhausted and needed to go to bed. I put the contract in my bag, grabbed all the FedEx envelopes and took them to my bedroom with me.

I entered my room and Haldir was still reading what my Aunt had given him; I sat my things on the chair next to the door. I closed my bedroom doors, went to the bathroom and changed into my PJ's and headed towards the bed.

"It must be a good book, you didn't even notice when I walked into the room?" He looked up from his book and smiled.

"Shash, I always know where you are," he told me, with a slightly smug look on his face. Your sweet scent always arrives before you do, it is late; you must have had a lot to do."

"I did but I am finished now and my attention is all on you."

"I am happy to hear that! I would like to know all about you day and do not leave anything out." I sat there and told him about my day from beginning to end, when I finally finished telling him, he kissed my hand.

"What was that for?"

"For what you do for so many and the way you talk about your day at your clinic and about your patients. And did you know that there is a glow about you?"

"A glow? Me? I have never been told that before, ever,"

"Well, it is because no one has never really listened to you quite like I do, because no one loves you as I do."

"As you told me once my love, you see too much**. **But did you ever think that the glow is because of you? You have brought so much back into my life; you have given me joy, love and direction. That is why you see the glow**. **It's not because of my clinic**,** it's because of you."

He kissed my cheek, "You give me too much credit my love**. **All I did was fall in love with you."

I placed my hand on his chest and gently ran my hand across his fine chiseled muscles. "And it made all the difference in my life, my love." He leaned and kissed my lips and gently laid me back on the pillows and I gave in to him**. **It was so easy to sink into his embrace and feel his strength and love. I have to admit at first it scared me how quickly I could give myself to him**. ** I did not know if it was just him or if it was some kind of elf thing so I had to ask.

"Haldir, may I ask you a something?"

"Now?" We were so close; he looked right into my eyes and joked, "You have a question now?"

"Yes my love**,** now."

"Ask your question," he replied with a mock sigh.

"I only wanted to know one thing; do elves have this effect on all women?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have noticed that when I am with you, I give into you so easily, is this normal?"

He gave me that sexy smile of his and gently kissed my neck, "Shash, I have no idea of what you are talking about?" As he slowly kissed my neck while gently caressing my stomach, I let out a moan of desire and want; he did the same in return. Our want and desire for each other gets harder to control every time we are close like this**. **I sometimes wonder how much longer we can keep on like this**. **It is hard for me to deny him what he wants, what we both want! But Haldir always knows when to stop.

"Shash, I want you and I know you want me, I could ask…."

"No, don't even think it my love. We must obey what she said; I don't want her to be upset with us in anyway, ok?"

He let out a deep sigh of frustration he lay back on the pillow and pulled me with him. I buried my face into his willing flesh and smelled his wonderful scent. It reminded me of Lorien and gave peace and rest to my body and mind. "It will be our time soon, my love," he whispered into my ear as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I was up on time and almost dressed for work while Haldir watched my every move with intrigue and questions. I pulled out a pair of panty hose, at the foot of my bed to put them on.

He smiled, "Shash, I remember why you where panty hose. But aren't those…things, uncomfortable."

"They can be, but you learn to adjust over time." I stood after I slipped my shoes on. "So do I look professional?"

"No, you look beautiful as always, my love." He got out of bed walked over to me and helped me with my blazer, handed me my bag, purse and ear piece.

"Now you are ready for work."

"Thank you, but there is one last thing to do before I leave." He leaned in towards me, kissed my cheek, and then my waiting lips.

"Hmm, now I am ready to leave." He followed me downstairs, where Aunt Cloie was busy in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Shash, you do have time to eat breakfast don't you?"

"No, I am sorry but I need to get to work as soon as possible so I can leave when I need to**. ** You will bring Haldir to the clinic at noon**,** correct?"

"Yes, don't worry**. ** I will have him there on time."

I heard Katara calling for me from the front room; I went to find out what she needed. "Yes, Katara what is so urgent?"

"You almost forgot your attire for this evening, silly," she said, as she handed me the garment bag.

"Wow, thank you. I don't know how I almost forgot that! Thank you."

"We had better leave; your schedule is full this morning."

We left for the garage and put our things in our cars while Aunt C and Haldir watched us**.** Katara pulled out first then I, as always I was followed by the same officer. I stopped in the driveway to see to Haldir one last time before leaving. I motioned for him to come over to the car.

"Yes, my love."

I softly stroked his face, "You know I am mesmerized with you, right?"

"Yes and I feel the same about you."

"I want you to know that I have no regrets spending the rest of my life with you and I love you more each day rather we are in the same time or not, I mean that with every breath and every beat of my heart."

"I feel the same and I love you for telling me." He leaned in the window and kissed me, a long tender, lingering kiss that I knew would help me make it through the day..

"I will see you later; be safe." He stepped back and I pulled out the driveway on my way to the FedEx office and then work. When I arrived at work I hit the floor running and never stopped**. ** I had six patients in the first two hours and two consultations. Just as I was finished Katara entered my office in a hurry.

"Hey what is going on? You seem out of sorts?" she hurriedly told me. "Dr. Long had to leave on a family emergency and he has three patients coming and it's too late to reschedule them."

"What! When is the first appointment?"

"They are due here in a half hour, have you finished your consultations?"

I sat there trying to figure out how I was going to do this, "I have one more, bring me the charts I will look over them and let me know as soon as they get here." Two were new patients and the other two had been here once before. Just as I finished reading over the charts, the nurse informed that his first patient had arrived. The first two patients were pretty much routine**,** but the third one took a little longer which ran into lunch and my second consultation. When I returned to my office Haldir and Aunt Cloie were waiting for me**.** I rushed in my office and spoke with them briefly.

"Aunt Cloie, thank you for bringing Haldir!" I gave her a quick hug. "My love I will be right with you as soon as I finish this phone call." Aunt Cloie waved good-bye and left. Haldir made himself comfortable on the couch while I was on the phone**. **Unfortunately, it took a little longer than I thought.

As soon as I was done on the phone, I went over and placed my hand on his arm. "Haldir, I am sorry but I have been busy with my patients plus one of my physicians had a family emergency and had to leave which left me with his appointments. Right now I have 15 mins of before my lunch is over with, are you hungry?"

He was very understanding as always, "Shash, please no need to explain and don't worry about me, I am fine. But, I think you, my love, need to at least stop and take a few deep breaths!"

I did so as I stepped back and looked him, "I am so sorry, I didn't even notice you had on a suit**.** My, my Aunt Cloie and Antonio did very well. But then I doubt you would look bad in anything! Do you like it? Are you comfortable in it?" Haldir had on a black suit, blue shirt with the raised collar and his suit jacket was knee length. He looked wonderful it looked as if it were made for him only.

He smiled, "Yes, it is fine, I do not care for the shoes too much."

"Well I know Katara will love it! Come let me introduce you to everyone." We entered the conference room where everyone was having lunch as we entered all eyes turned to Haldir.

"Well I am happy I have your attention so quickly," I joked. "I know most everyone has seen the ring on my finger and yes**,** I am engaged." Everyone applauded, they were very happy for me. "Thank you, my friends. I would like to introduce to you my fiancé Haldir." Everyone just sat there with a stunned look on their face, well the woman did. Dr. Heisman stood and walked over to introduce himself.

"Haldir, I am Dr. Heisman" they shook hands, "I am happy to meet you and to hear that Dr. Shane is getting married. You are a very lucky man."

Haldir smiled, "You are correct, I am a very lucky man." Dr. Heisman returned to his seat.

Haldir turned to me and asked**, **"Are the woman also mesmerized?"

I laughed as I put my arm through his. "I guess so my love."

One of the nurses finally spoke, "Dr. Shane, please forgive me for saying but you did good!" And everyone agreed at once. Then everyone was asking questions: like "Where is he from?" "How did you two meet?

"Ladies and gentlemen thank you for your congratulations but we will have to answer your questions another time." I fixed myself and Haldir a salad and grabbed two water bottles. As we were leaving everyone wished us well and congratulated me again**. **Haldir and I returned to my office until my next phone call, while I tried to eat my salad.

"That went well I think, don't you?" I asked Haldir.

"Do all women act the same here, Shash?"

"Well? Sometimes it just depends who they are looking at." He gave that look as if to say me? "Haldir don't give me that look you know they were taken with you, as always."

"If you say so**,** but I really do not think so."

I laughed, "Haldir are you serious? You know they were mesmerized by you as women and elleths always seem to be. Don't act like you did not know it." Just as I said that the phone rang again. He gave me that sexy smirk of his as I answered the phone. The phone call took a little longer that what I expected and as soon as I hung up, it rang again. I sat there and gently rubbed my temples.

"Shash, are you alright?" Haldir asked as he stood and walked over to where I sat and gently rubbed my shoulders and neck, which helped a lot. He gently took my hands in his and I stood. "I am fine; I just don't like it when I have days like this." He pulled me into his embrace which made me feel so much better. "Well thank you, I needed that and my next two patients are here. Would you like to stay in my office or with Katara?"

"I would like to stay here if you do not mind**.** I need to speak with the Lady of Light."

"That is fine I will tell Katara you are not to be disturbed, ok?"

"Thank you**. **Shashdo you think you will be long?"

I stood and walked around my desk to where he was standing, "Is there something wrong my love, you seem troubled?"

"I am not sure, butI feel as if something is not right at home."

"Well if you need to leave I will understand." He slipped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace.

"Shash, I am torn about the thought of not being here with you and what I feel in Lothlorien"

"Haldir, I will be fine, if something is amiss and you have to go home tonight, I will understand. It is your duty and loyalty in Lothlorien that calls you. I understand that more than anyone." He gave me the biggest hug.

"You should go**. **Your patients need you," he said as he urged me towards the door. I did not want to leave him because I know how he was feeling. Responsibility is a heavy burden when you have to leave the one you love**. ** I left my office and told Katara that he was not to be disturbed until I returned. I attended to my patients which took a little longer and returned to my office. He was seated on the couch in deep thought but I could tell by the look on his face that the decision was made for him to leave.

I sat my files on my desk and walked over to where he sat; I knelt in front of him and gently rubbed his thigh not taking my eyes off his strong face. He looked at me and shook his head no. "You are to never kneel in front of me; your place is by my side always." He stood and helped me up.

"My love I do have to leave but not till later tonight. We can still have our dinner."

I smiled, "Are you sure, I won't…."

He quickly kissed me, "Now finish what you have to do, so we can spend what time we have left together."

"Ok, let me finish."

I sat down to finish up my patient charts and sign off on some letters that Katara had typed up for me, I looked at my watch and it was nearly 4:15 pm and I was not even dressed yet.

"Well finally I am finished with work and I can get dressed."

Haldir sighed "Good, I am hungry now." I called for Katara so she could come and get the letters that I signed for her.

Katara entered my office, "Hey, you are not dressed yet? You better hurry up you know they will cancel your reservation if you are not there on time."

"Ok, well here are the letters and patient charts and all notes are complete. Could you please call and let them know I might be a little late? Please and thank you."

"Sure, now hurry." I gathered up my things went to the bathroom in my office to freshen up and changed. I had to call Katara to help me. She knocked on the door and I let her in.

"Could you please zip me up?"

"Sure, all done," Katara replied with a gentle pat on my back.

"Did you switch out my shoes, purse and wrap?" I asked.

"Yes, I did, I thought the two of you should match."

"Well thanks."

"Shash, wear your hair up, your silver hair pins are in your bag." She switched out my purses for me and put on the finishing touches.

"Girl, you look fantastic now go on he is waiting," she said, practically pushing me out the door!

I opened the door and stepped out the bathroom, "Hey, I'm ready, do you approve?"

He stood not saying a word while walking towards me, "You surprise me every time. Is it possible for you to be more beautiful than the last time I saw you."

"Thank you, I have never been told that before."

"Well, they were fools not to see what I do." He tilted my face up and he kissed me.

"Hey you two stop all that kissing and go have dinner."

We both looked at her and I replied, "Ok, we are out of here, bye Katara." .

"Shash, don't worry about your things I will bring everything home."

I looked back at my "heart sister" one more time, "Thank you for everything, Katara. I will see you when I get home."

We got on the elevator went to the lobby and out to the car. I unlocked the doors and Haldir let himself in the car and buckled his seatbelt. "Wow, so Aunt Cloie showed you everything didn't she?"

"Yes she did and so much more, she taught about cars how they are made and what powers them."

"Really, so what powers my car?"

We got in the car and he answered my questions, "It is the gasoline. You insert your key here and turn, use this stick to put your car drive and the right paddle makes the car go, the big one on the left allows you to stop the car."

I sat there amazed, "Well did she teach you how to drive also?"

He laughed, "No but she taught me other things, but right now your fiancé is still hungry."

We left the clinic and before long we pulled up in front of the restaurant and stopped at the entrance. The valet opened my car door and helped me out the car, while Haldir let himself out on the other side.

"Dr. Shane, I have not seen you for a while." John the valet said. How have you been?"

I grabbed my wrap out of the car and placed it around the front of me and it hung down my back. Haldir walked around the car where I waited for him, "Oh just very busy and medical school how is that?"

John smiled, "Thanks to Dr. Shane, great! I applied everything you told me and it's been great. Thank you for everything."

"You are welcome John, just keep up the good and you will do just fine during your internship."

"Thank you again**,** Dr. Shane." I handed John my car keys.

Haldir and I went into the restaurant where we were greeted by Steven**.** "Dr. Shane, so nice to see you and whom is dining with you this evening?"

"Steven, I would like for you to meet my fiancé Haldir, Haldir this is Steven. He owns the restaurant."

"You are engaged? That is wonderful news; I will have a bottle of our best champagne sent to your table**. **Please follow me." He led us to a beautiful table**,** with candles and two high back chairs. Right in front of our table was a window looking out to the shimmering city lights.

"Hello my name is Jon and I will be your waiter for the evening**.** I know that you have pre-ordered you dinner. I will return shortly with your appetizers and salad."

He left and finally we were alone, "Haldir is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine; I am as you would say 'taking it all in'. This place is beautiful."

"The music is it too loud?"

"No, I have my ear plugs in and everything sounds fine." We sat there enjoying the music and our conversation.

"You seem distracted," I said to Haldir when I saw a distant, distracted look in his eye. What is wrong in Lorien?"

"A group of scavengers have settled outside the western borders of Lothlorien and my guards are very unsettled by them."

"Do you feel you need to go back now? I would not be upset." The waiter returned with our champagne and poured it for us.

"I will return with your appetizers soon."

He reached across the table for my hand and gently stroked it, "They will let me know, if they need me but until then no more distractions on my part, my love."

"I will not say another word about it**,** but I see you are bothered by what is going on at home."

"It does concern me**, **but as I said**,** if they need me they will let me know."

I lifted my glass, "I would like to make a toast to us and our impending marriage**.** I know that it won't be easy and I know there will be conflicts, but our love will see us through anything**.**" We lightly touched our glasses and sipped our champagne.

"Shash, this is very good, what is it called again?"

I smiled, "It is called champagne."

"Is it possible we could take some back to Lothlorien?"

"If you wish we can do that just let me know and I will order three or four bottles." We had a delightful time at dinner. The food was wonderful, but the company was even better. We talked about our wedding**,** but we both stayed away from any conversation about our wedding night. We finished our meal and decided to take a walk but just as we were getting up we saw Steven was on the dance floor about to make an announcement.

"Good evening friends and guests, I hope everyone is enjoying their evening here at the 'Blue Chalet'**.** I have a very important announcement to make about a very special friend of mine. Her name is Shashuwan Shane or some may know her as Dr. Shane, I have just found out that she is engaged." Everyone applauded "Thank you, but I would love for Shashuwan and her fiancé Haldir to please come and honor us with a dance to one of her favorite songs by Luther Vandross "Here and Now".

I looked at Haldir not sure what to do until he stood and put out his hand for mine. I stood and placed my hand in his as we went out to the dance floor, he took me in his arms and the music started. "I had no idea you could dance my love."

"Shash dancing is the same everywhere you just have to feel the music." And that we did, I felt as if I were dancing on the clouds in the heavens with him. When the song finished everyone applauded**. **Steven came over and presented me with a red rose and a hug. We returned to our table to get my wrap and purse**. **We left the restaurant and John was out front waiting with the other valets.

"Dr. Shane, I will get your car."

"John no hurry we are going for a walk, we will return soon, is that alright?"

"Of course, Dr. Shane take your time, it's a beautiful night."

We walked along the river bank, Haldir wanted to stop so he could take a long look at everything.

"Shash, your city is beautiful and I like the way the lights reflect across the water."

I smiled, "Yes it is beautiful and quiet."

"It is, but not as beautiful as you are Shash."

"Thank you and I must say Haldir you danced divinely! I had no idea you knew how**.**"

"Shash, I am an elf, I know many things and dancing is natural to me, just like playing the harp is." We walked across the street to the park to sit and enjoy the cool breeze. I slipped my arm through his and laid my head on his shoulder.

"You play the harp? I had no idea!"

"Why did you not play for me?"

"I would be happy to play for you some time. I hope you will enjoy it."

"I know I will." I have to admit that I was not looking forward to seeing him leave but I will not stop him.

I shivered little, he immediately took off his jacket placed it around my shoulders and pulled me close to keep me warm. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes trying to sear this moment in my memory.

He kissed my forehead and held me tighter, "Shash, we should leave, I can not have you ill."

I sat up and gently kissed his lips, "I guess I should get you home so you can get ready to leave."

"Shash, please do not be upset."

"Haldir, I am not upset, please don't think that. I understand." He pulled me in his embrace and held me. "Haldir, we must get home." We walked across the street arm and arm, and returned to the restaurant, John was waiting.

"John, could you get my car please?"

"Of course, right away." He returned with my car and tipped him, Haldir and I got in the buckled up and we left.

I took the long way home because I knew he would have to leave soon. As much as I understood the need, I was not ready for him to leave me in anyway. But, before I knew it we were at the house and up the driveway, I reached up to push the button for garage door but Haldir had beat me to it. I didn't say anything I just pulled in, put the car in park and turned it off. We got out the car and I noticed that Aunt C and Katara were not home yet**. ** I was happy for that**. **We went inside, Haldir gently removed his jacket and kissed the side of my neck, I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. "Haldir, my love I will miss you." He laid his jacket and my wrap on the chair. I walked to the entertainment center and I turned on some music and sat on the couch where Haldir was seated, I have to admit I was exhausted.

Haldir saw I was tired, "Shash, would you like to go to bed so I can enjoy holding you near me one more time, I know you are tired."

"I would like that very much but I would rather be down here where we can watch the moonlight, if that is alright with you." He lay back on the couch and I lay with him, I unbuttoned his shirt so I could feel the warmth of his skin on my face. It was a lovely end to his visit and before long I had fallen asleep. I felt my love kissing my forehead and stroking my hair. I don't know how long we lay there, but I did hear him calling my name.

"Shash, I must prepare to leave now, Katara and Aunt Cloie are here now."

I never lifted my head from his chest, "I know you must go**. ** I don't want this moment to end**,** not ever."

"Neither do I but duty calls and you know more about that than anyone." I reluctantly sat up and so did he.

"But I want you know that I have enjoyed being here in your world and learning all that I have so far. But what I most enjoyed was being at your clinic and watching you as you would say "doing what you do". I finally got to see and understand you more than will you ever know**. **I now know, even more clearly than before, that I am going to marry a woman of great importance and one who has a lot to offer Lothlorien**. ** And we will add so much to both of our long lives." He turned and looked deeply into my very soul and said," I love you more with each passing hour, and every passing day. I look forward to our life together so I can continue to learn more about you and grow to love you even more." He kissed me and softly wiped my tears away. "I must go and change now, I will return shortly**." **

When he went upstairs to change Katara and Aunt Cloie came down. Katara sat next to me and placed her arm around me, "Hey girl. How are you?"

"I guess I'm alright," I tried to say bravely, wiping the tears from my eyes. "He is leaving and I don't think I will ever get use to this or will I Aunt Cloie?"

"For elleths of Middle Earth it is different**. **We grew up with our fathers leaving for long periods of time but for women of your time, I have seen how hard it is, the hurt and pain of separation. But this is something that you will have to deal with, well at least find a way to get through while he is gone. I wish I could help you with this but I can't. No one really can."

We all stood when Haldir came down the steps, "Katara, Aunt Cloie I am happy that I get the chance to say goodbye to you**. ** I have enjoyed my stay with you and am very happy that I got to meet you. And I know that I will see both of you when you return with Shash for our wedding."

Katara was very happy and her eyes twinkled. "Nothing is going to keep me from that wedding and meeting your brothers."

He smiled, "I know they will enjoy your company also."

"Marchwarden, I had hoped to visit Rivendell while I am there would that be possible?"

"I would be honored to make the arrangements for you, Aunt Cloie. Now I must say my good-byes."

Katara and Aunt Cloie each said goodbye to Haldir and gave him a hug, "Katara, make sure that Shashuwan gets her rest**, **will you do that for me, please?"

"I will. You don't have to worry about anything. We have been watching out for each other all of our lives. That won't ever change," she said with a smile in my direction.

I had put on a pair of flat shoes and a jacket, "Ladies, I will be right back."

Haldir and I left through the patio doors crossed the deck and back yard. We headed for a point just beyond the tree line. I stood there not wanting to say anything; I just couldn't believe that we were here again. "Shash, I don't want to leave you**.** I hoped that I could stay until they were able to capture James**,** but I can not and I am not happy with this at all**!**" The look of anger and determination on his face was a sight to be seen. I was glad to not be on the receiving end of his wrath. James had better watch his step and stay far away from my elf!

"I know, I have not felt this safe since I have been back and now that you are leaving my sense of security is going too." He wrapped his arms around me and held me**,** not wanting to let go**. **But before long the smell of the air had changed and I knew it was time for him to leave. I held on to trying to keep him from leaving me, but I knew it was futile.

"My love, I must leave, I don't want to leave you but if you need me, just think of me." He titled my head up to meet his gaze.

"I know you will be there in my mind as my comfort and home. I know you will protect me no matter where you are**. **I will trust in that, my love." He kissed me and ran his hands up and down my arms gently, until the very last minute.

"I must leave now, I love you and that will never change." He kissed my forehead then stepped away from me and went through.

"Haldir, I love you."

The window slowly closed and then he was gone**. **I shivered with apprehension and sadness about him going. I returned home where Aunt Cloie and Katara were anxiously waiting for my return. I opened the patio door and let myself in. I then turned and set the alarm system. It was a poor substitute for the safety of Haldir's arms, but it would have to do.

"Shash, babe girl are you alright? I know this can't be easy for you and I understand why," Katara said with compassion. "If I had an elf like Haldir in my life, I would feel the same as you do right now. But I know for a fact that he is feeling the exact same way you are right now**. **Don't you think so?"

"Katara, when did you become so all knowing?"

"When my sister fell in love with her soul mate whom just happens to be an elf." I smiled and she gave me the biggest hug, "I know that I can not stop you from shedding your tears for him, so go to bed, have yourself a good cry and please get some rest."

"Ok, I will do just that. Good night sis and Aunt Cloie; I want to thank both of you for being here with me." I went upstairs undressed and got in bed. I lay there, clutching his pillow to my chest. His scent still lingered. It was a comfort and it made me sad, all at the same time. I cried myself to sleep with thoughts of my love in my heart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

The next three months were long and with the early snow, getting across town was starting be a chore, with Christmas two weeks away I still have not finished my shopping not to mention all the time I was spending at my clinic. I never knew the amount of time and energy it took to transfer a company or clinic to new owners. Beyond that I had to make sure my patients were matched with the right doctors and I needed to hire two more doctors. Will this ever end so I can begin my new life? Julia, Katara and I spent two or three nights a week at the clinic just working but it was nice to be together and of course the hottest topic was my wedding. I did not mind but they kept asking me about the ceremony and I am always avoiding the topic, I wasn't so lucky this time.

"Well Shash, have you heard from your fiancé lately?" Katara said with a curious smile.

"Yes, I heard from him two weeks ago concerning the wedding and of the details."

The two of them sat there and waited for me to finish. I thought I could wait them out, more but Katara just jumped all over me! "Really, is that it? Come on Shash tell us about it, please?"

I smiled, "Ok, I will tell you but it will be the condensed version. The ceremony that he has chosen for us is "Marriage of Souls" it is the one marriage that can not be dissolved because we will be one soul. The ceremony begins in front of our guests where we will return our rings of silver; the cleric would pick up the gelnutre or a beautiful kneeling cloth that is given by the grooms' parents. He would then motion for Haldir and me and our wedding party to follow him to a private setting for the continuation of our wedding ceremony."

Katara looked a little confused, "What do you mean? Is it that different from ours?"

"Yes it is, the setting has to be close to a body of water, there will be an altar and upon the alter would be candles, a bottle of exquisite wine and two wine glasses and a loaf of unleavened bread on a platter or a fine cloth." Katara and Julia sat there and hung on every word that I said but I decided not to reveal any more, I glanced up at the two eager women, my friends. "Stop looking at me like that, I promised him I would not say any more than that."

Julia was disappointed, "Shashuwan Shane, are you serious? You can't tell us anymore? Of course you can tell me, seeing that I can not attend your wedding."

"Julia, I am sure that Katara will tell you everything when we return."

"Well, I guess that I will have to wait for the full report from Katara, when everyone returns."

I smiled, "I know for a fact that Katara will fill you in on everything."

"Well ladies I have to finish some work, I will be ready in about a half hour then we can leave together, ok?"

"That sounds great but I am sure Julia has to leave soon." Katara informed me.

She sat back in her chair, "No, I was hoping to speak with you Shash."

Katara left us, so we could speak privately. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I spoke with your Aunt Cloie yesterday afternoon; she came to the hospital to see me, which was very odd for her."

"What did she want?" As I lay back in my chair and propped my feet on my desk.

"She wanted to talk to me about herself."

I sat there thinking to myself and I already knew what she was talking about, "So you know about her and my fiancé?"

"Yes, I do. She revealed herself to me and told me of you and your father. If I had been had told by anyone else, I would have never believed it. But I understand why you are leaving, I don't blame you, as a matter of fact I can't wait to meet him." Just then Katara entered the room and joined the conversation.

"Julia, you are in for a treat when you meet him, because he is simply gorgeous."

I just shook my head, "Julia, you have to forgive Katara, I think she has a thing for my fiancé since she met him, silly chick." Shaking my head at her and smiling.

Julia started gathering her things to leave, "Well ladies I must leave. My family is home waiting for me, Katara could you please make sure she takes no work home this weekend?

"Julia, that is going to be my number one priority this weekend she has been pushing herself too hard and it is starting to show."

"Katara, I hear you! I am standing right here. Stop already."

Julia gave Katara and I a hug and went home to her family.

Katara went into mother hen mood quickly, "Ok, lady come on we are leaving your car here and I am driving you home for a weekend of relaxation and doing absolutely nothing, the only thing I want you to do when you go to bed tonight is mind speak with Haldir. So get your coat, grab your purse and let's get out of here."

It was about 7:00pm on a Friday night when we left the clinic, on the way home Katara stopped and got Chinese, when we arrived home Aunt Cloie was waiting for us. "Hello ladies! How are both of you?"

"Well, I am fine but Vampira is exhausted, I have already told her that she is to do nothing but rest, relax and mindspeak with that lovely elf of hers."

Aunt Cloie was more than agreeable, "We will make sure that it happens, I have noticed that she has been putting in a lot of hours at the clinic…" I stood there wondering when they would realize I was in the room.

"Hey you two I am in the room? Remember me?" As I stood there waving at them.

The two of them laughed, "We know but if you remember, Haldir did ask us to make sure you were taken care of and not to be over worked."

"Alright, then I will do nothing this weekend but relax, watch some movies and ride Nubian."

The two of them were quite happy with my decision, "Ok, I am going up stairs to change and will be back to enjoy my dinner and a movie, if that is ok?"

They seemed to have a look of relief on their faces especially Aunt Cloie, "Great, I did not want to have to answer to the Marchwarden. You know how he can be, right?"

"Yes, I do so I will do as you asked I will be right back." I went upstairs to change and there lying on the chair in my walk in closet was Haldir's black silk robe I ran my hand down the sleeve and gently rubbed it against my cheek and I could smell his scent, oh how I missed him…

"**Hey, Vampira are you coming down? Remember no working on anything!"**

I love that silly girl, "**Ok, I am coming now**!" I went down stairs and enjoyed my meal and for my video pleasure "Gladiator" and the "300", I know it may seem strange being a doctor and liking blood and guts movies, but I love both of them. After the movie I helped Katara clean up, Aunt Cloie was out on a date with her boyfriend. Which I think is just cute but he is very handsome.

"Katara, I am sorry, but I have to go to bed."

"Darn, so soon? I thought we could chat before you turned in?"

"Can we chat tomorrow over breakfast?" I felt really bad but I was exhausted.

"Sure we can but at noon, I have some errands to run then I plan on spending some time with my man."

"Ok, cool we will chat then. Good night sis."

"Hey say hello to Haldir for me."

"I will, good night." I went upstairs got in bed and quickly fell asleep.

_"Shashuwan, Shashuwan?" _I slowly opened my eyes when I heard his voice, as always I was surrounded in the beauty of Lothlorien.

_"Haldir, how are you?"_

_ "I wondered if you had forgotten about me?"_

_ I laughed, "No, never, you are the center of my world. So how have you been?"_

_ I felt his smile surround me, "Very busy working on my special project as always."_

_ "Humm and you still don't want to tell me what it is?"_

_ "Shash, you should stop, for I will not tell you."_

_ "Wow, you really know how to keep a secret don't you?"_

_ "Yes, I do and one day you will accept that will you not?"_

_ "Maybe and then maybe not, it does not hurt to try does it?"_

_ "But yet, you have not greeted me with a kiss, my Shash."_

I walked towards him_, "Will you forgive me with this kiss, Marchwarden?" _Closing the gap between us, I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed the palm of his hand then I gently kissed each finger and kissed his lips which were very eager on his part.

He pulled back and smiled while passion and lust burned in his eyes,_ "Your ways are different. It makes me wonder even more what our wedding night will be like?"_

I slowly stepped back from him,_ "Well, you will have to wait until that night to discover for yourself. But, my love I feel that neither one of us will be disappointed in any way, don't you think? I know that you have dreamed of it and so have I." I smiled._

_ "Well, I can do something about that if you would like?"_

_ "You can do something? What are you talking about Haldir?_

_ "Don't worry you will find out soon, my love. But I have a question for you."_

_ "And what is that?"_

_ "Why did you not tell Katara and Aunt Cloie that James had contacted you?"_

_ "What do you mean?"_

_ "Did you forget that we are connected?"_

_ "Haldir, I have told no one but the detective handling my case. They don't need to know."_

_ "But why not, why not tell them? I do not understand, tell me!"_

_ "Because, I am sick of James having so much control in my life, I am so tired of dealing with his threats; I want him gone from my life permanently! I can not deal with James and attend to my patients and the clinic!" _I was very upset and I suppose it seemed out of characterto him_. "Haldir, I am so tired of being afraid in my own home and at my job. I can't do anything without the security watching me all the time, I want my life back! Am I asking too much?"_ I demanded as the tears heedlessly spilled down my face.

Haldir really didn't know quite how to react_._ I was angry! _"Shash, I have never seen you in such a state."_

I looked up into his eyes and he gently smoothed my tears away with his big strong hands_, "Haldir, I am sorry, I don't know how to deal with this anymore and I just want my life back but most of all I want to start my new life with you." _He pulled me into his strong embrace and held me. "_I am sorry please forgive me?"_

_ "Shash, you have nothing to be forgiven for, I understand and I know this has taken a lot out of you but you can not let this take over your life. You are so much stronger than the problem! You are a strong woman and very smart don't let this beat you. Be the woman that I know and love. Don't let him do this to you."_

I looked up at him and smiled, "_You really see all of that in me?"_

_ "Yes, I do and that anger is your strength it is not a weakness. I did not know that existed inside of you, but I am happy to see it! So use it when he does it again, can you do that?"_

_ "Yes, I forgot that was even a part of me. But I have it back and I will take that control from him."_

He smiled_, "That is what I want to hear from you. I have to go but I am always here for you. Most of all I love you and your new found spirit."_ He kissed me and when I opened my eyes, I was in my bed and feeling much better and I slept with a new found peace.

When I woke the next morning I felt better and refreshed, I always do when I am with him, I have never had any man that I have dated in the past that made me a priority in his life the way Haldir does, his love is pure in every sense of the word, it is the greatest feeling in the world. I got up and went downstairs to have breakfast with Katara.

She was in the kitchen fixing breakfast when I saw her, "Hey Katara, how are you on this lovely morning?"

"Well good morning; you must have spoken with your lovely elf last night didn't you?"

I smiled, "Yes I did. Why you can tell?"

"Oh yes, you always look like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders."

"Well true he does have the effect on me." She had just finished preparing our plates of scrambled eggs, English muffins and a bowl of fresh fruit; we sat in the kitchen and ate breakfast. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I want to know why you did not tell me that James was leaving you more notes!"

"Katara, I am tired of dealing with James and I did not want to hurt you any more than what you are right now. No one should have to go through what I did and I did not want to do that to you anymore."

"I am not upset with you, but you have to tell me what he is doing! And I don't care that he is my brother! He's not the same James that we grew up with, is he?" Katara said with a hush voice.

I shook my head no, "No he is not and he is nothing like our little brother that went camping with us or would chase through the park. Yes, he did protect as us one time but not anymore."

"I want my brother back Shash, the one I grew up with. I just don't understand what happened to him?"

I hated to see her cry it always hurt me down to my very soul. There was nothing I could do but be there for her, like she has been there for me, so many other times. I took her in my arms and held her till she released a lot of her pent up hurt and pain.

"Shash, I am sorry but there have been many times that I have wish James had never change. Maybe if mom and dad were still alive things would have been different?" I smiled.

"Girl, I think about that all the time, if only our parents had been here so much would be so different."

Katara shook her head no. "Shash, don't ever say that because there is one thing that we both do not wish were different."

"And what is that?" I asked her.

"You meeting that lovely elf Haldir and your wedding that would have to stay the same."

I smiled, "Now, that I would have to agree with 100%, that would have to remain the same! He is my life line and he has brought so much back to me."

"Shash, have you ever wonder what your parents would think of you marrying Haldir and leaving everything you have worked for to be with him?"

I started loading dishes into the dishwasher and cleaning up, "Well I know for a fact that they are very happy for me and wish me the best."

"What? How would you...? Never mind I don't want to know but I am sure it has something to do with "The Lady of Light". Am I right?"

"Yes, you are again. Listen you should be getting dressed to spend your day with William."

"Yes, I should but will you be alright here alone? Because if not I will stay, I don't mind?"

"Katara, your life should not stop because mine is a mess besides I have a lot to keep me busy and the officer is still out front."

She looked at me and smiled, "If you need me just call and I will be here before you know it, ok? Oh, just a little FYI there is a snow storm tonight so I will try to be back early."

"What! A snow storm, I had no idea, I guess I better go and ride Nubian before it hits."

"Yes, you should, I am going to go and change. Aunt Cloie has already left to go shopping with her friend and she said she will not be out too long tonight." She went upstairs to change and before long she returned looking quite lovely as always.

"Hey, I had a thought would you like to come with us?"

"Katara, I will not be a third wheel on your date, I have plenty to do like catch up on my show Spartacus, my reading, tickling the ivories, my violin, playing with Nanuke and riding Nubian. Isn't that enough?"

"Ok, I guess, please be safe and if you need me…"

"I will call now go please!" It was noon when I escorted her outside where the wind was kicking up and the temperature was dropping, I watched her leave. The officer that was in the patrol car came to talk to me.

"Hello, Dr. Shane my name is Officer Rose and I will be patrolling the grounds today will you be leaving at any time?"

"No, I was given strict orders to relax and do nothing but I do plan on riding my horse to day before the storm rolls in. Other than that I will be inside, ok?"

"That is fine, well if you need anything here is my cell just call no matter what it is."

"I will Officer Rose, thank you." He returned to his car and I scurried into the house. It was getting down right cold.

It was strange being in the house alone. Well not completely alone Nanuke was with me and he always had to go out and chase something, so I decided to dress warmly so I could ride. Nanuke and I went to the stable, Nubian was saddled and ready for me.

"George, thank you for having Nubian saddled how did you know?"

"Katara called and informed that you would be riding today."

"Well I will thank her later." I led Nubian out the stable and rode him for about two hours which was more than enough; George met me back at the stable.

"How was he today?"

"Oh he was wonderful as always, strong and eager. Could you make sure he gets a good brushing and extra carrots. Thank you." I usually take my time and rub down Nubian myself, I like that alone time with him, but the storm seemed to be blowing in faster than expected.

"Ms. Shane, I will be leaving before the storm hits and I will be taking the horses with me would you like for me to take Nubian?"

"Yes, I know how he gets when there is a storm of any kind and I really don't want to leave the house, not by myself anyway."

"I could stay if you would like, just to keep an eye on things."

I smiled, "No George, go home and be with your family and take care of Nubian for me ok?"

"I will, you will have nothing to worry about." He said.

I stayed outside long enough to help him give a quick rub down to my black beauty, helped put the horses in the trailer and say goodbye to Nubian. When he left Nanuke and I returned to the house, the wind was picking up. "Well boy, I guess the snow storm is coming early let us go in, I think I will take a shower and then we can curl up on the couch and watch Spartacus, ok?" I showered and put on my sweats and a t-shirt. I headed down stairs fixed myself some hot coco got comfortable on the couch and watched my show. I watched maybe six episodes of my program before I knew it was nearly 9:00pm and wondered where Katara and my Aunt were, so I decided to let Nanuke out one more time and give them a call. When I did the snow was really coming down! It looked like a blizzard. I closed the balcony door and called Katara. Her phone rang about four times before she answered.

"Katara, where are you? I was concerned considering the way it's snowing out."

"Shash, I was trying to get back out there but the weather is really bad right now. I heard the weather report and it should not last too much longer. It should be over with by morning but I really don't want you out there alone. Is the officer still out front?"

I didn't want to admit it to Katara, but I was very nervous about being home alone, "I am checking now." I looked out the front window and I could see nothing but then there was a knock at the door. "I can't see anything," I told her, "but someone's at the door."

"Who is it?" I called out, expecting it to the police officer.

"Katara, no one answered!"

"Shash, are the alarms set!" she asked rapidly.

"No, I just let Nanuke out!" I answered her, feeling more and more frantic by the moment.

"Lock the patio door and set the alarm! Then go to your room. Lock both doors now! I will call the detective and I will be there. Go now!"

"But, Nanuke, he had to go! I let him out!"

"Shash, he will be fine, please go upstairs now! I will call you back! I promise!" I did as she told me and ran upstairs and locked both doors leading to my bedroom; I couldn't believe this was happening not now! I was standing there and the electricity went out, I was scared at what would happen next. I heard glass shattered and then I heard him calling my name from downstairs. It was James, and he was in my house!

"**Shashuwan, where are you!**"

_"Haldir, please answer me!"_

_ "Shash, what is wrong!"_

_ "He is here! In the house, please come!"_ I started crying. _"Haldir, please come!"_

_ "Where are you!"_

_ "In my room, OH MY GOD, HE IS COMING UP THE STAIRS NOW!"_

_ "I AM COMING!" _Before I knew it James had broken through the small locks on the doors and was standing in my bedroom.

He had an evil sinister smile, "I told you Shashuwan, that I will have you again, didn't I?

I stood there frozen, not saying a word.

"**What did I tell you would happen if you told! ANSWER ME!"**

I tried to control my breathing but I couldn't, I kept having flash backs to that horrible night, "You, you said, you would kill me." I stammered as I trembled with fright. He walked towards me and I quickly crawled across the bed to the other side and stood in the corner next to the nightstand. My body shook so badly, I could hardly stand up straight.

He walked around the bed backing me in a corner. He placed his hand around my neck and exerted enough pressure so that I had to struggle to catch my breath. "Shashuwan, it would be so easy to end your life right now." He said rather flatly. "Why didn't you do as I asked you?" I felt his breath on my neck it stuck of liquor; he placed his face on my neck and inhaled. "Hmm, you always smelled so good." He softly laughed, as he placed his filthy lips on my neck and started to kiss me.

"Are you still good, you know what I mean don't you?" I thought I was going to be sick; I groped around for anything that might help me get away. My hand felt and grabbed the bedside lamp. I relaxed momentarily and so did he. I swung the lamp up and smashed it to the side of his head, he dropped to the floor, dazed and I had my chance to run. I ran pass him to the hall down the stairs as I tried to find a place to hide. I just couldn't think clearly. My heart best so fast and I could barely catch my breath. I heard him upstairs calling for me. I slapped my hand over my own mouth, so he couldn't hear me as I gasped for breath.

**"Shashuwan, you bitch! You will pay for what you have done and I will kill the new man in your life too!" **

I stood there in the shadows downstairs. I tried to figure out how he knew about Haldir. How did he know? Then I heard James in the hall upstairs as he made his way to the stairs. "What good would it do for me to hide?" I asked myself frantically. He knows this house just we well as I do. I kept trying to think of something to protect myself with. Then it came to me in a flash and I remembered my father's box that was under the couch! I quickly crawled on the floor behind the couch and reached for the box underneath it, I pulled it out. I quickly opened it and found what I needed, my father's dagger. I pushed the box back and waited for him.

**"**Shash, you must be wondering how I know about your new love?" He laughed, "Oh yes, I have seen the two of you together that evening out for dinner, the walk. So sweet, **WHY COULDN'T YOU LOVE ME! I HAVE LOVED YOU MY ENTIRE MY LIFE BUT YOU NEVER GAVE ME A SECOND THOUGHT! WHY, WHY NOT ME! ANSWER ME, YOU BITCH!"**

Now, I know why he has done this, I slowly stood and there he was on the bottom step. He cast an eerie shadow against the white snow and the cold air that blew through my broken patio door. I held the dagger at my side. He started to walk towards me, "**Shash, I have loved you since high school and I stood by watching you date everyone but me!"**

I backed around the room keeping ample space between us, "**James, I never thought of you that way I always thought of you as my brother nothing more.** **I am sorry but I loved you as a brother! Why can't you understand that?"**

He stopped I saw that his head was bleeding, "**It doesn't matter now because if I can't have you then neither will he**."

He raced towards me and I ran blindly around the couch and into the kitchen. I could hear his curses and knew he was close behind me. I felt a sharp pull and twist as he grabbed me by my hair. He slammed my head into the wall and I fell to the floor, I forced myself not to pass out but I could barely focus. I franticly looked for my dagger and found it. My head was spinning and blood trickled down my face, but I barely noticed. He yanked me up from the floor. The slammed me into the wall. With his hand around my neck and his body pressed against mine, I was pinned to the wall like a butterfly in some bizarre collection. The he licked my face. I shuttered with revulsion!

"**James, please don't do this again, please I beg of you!"**

With his free hand he touched me moving his hand all over me; he ripped my shirt down from the neck and revealed more flesh. Right there and then I chanted to myself not again, not again, **"Never will you have me again, NEVER!" ** With my father's dagger I slammed it into his thigh and twisted it, he hollered in pain and threw me to the floor and as I turned over he was trying to pull it out, I barely got to my feet and ran out the kitchen. He caught up with me and yanked me back by my arm and hit me with his fist in my face and I fell to the floor for the last time. I tried to crawl from him but he pulled me back by my ankles. I started to kick with everything I had. He punched me so hard in my back that he knocked the air out of my lungs. I gasped and curled up on my side and tried to breath. He flipped me over on my back and straddled me. He looked down at me and grinned, "**I love the fight in you but I grow tired now, Shash. You will give me what I want one more time!"**

I looked at him, **"I would rather die than give you what you want, James!**

He smiled, **"Fine then die!" **He placed his hands around my neck and started to strangle me, I tried to fight him but he was too strong, just before I started to past out I dimly heard wood splinters and glass crunch underneath someone's feet. Then out of nowhere I saw Haldir and suddenly I could breathe again. I gasped and coughed as Haldir picked James up by his neck and threw him across the room into the wall. He then started beating him with his fists. I could feel the anger as it rolled off Haldir. James tried to fight back but he was no match for my elf. I became more alert. I looked to my left and saw it was Rumil and Oro.

Haldir could not help but say what he had to say, **"I swore to Shashuwan, that I would not kill you and believe me, I keep my promises!" **As he stood he picked James by his neck and then what James said sent Haldir over the edge.

James laughed in his face, "**She is good isn't she, I remember when I had her, she was delicious oh but maybe you have not had her yet, maybe she prefers only me to you?"**

The rage in Haldir's eyes is something I have never seen before, with one swing of his arm he sent James flying out the broken patio door and slammed him into the railing of the deck, James never moved again. Haldir started to go after him again but I knew he would kill him. I pleaded with him to stop.

Rumil helped me sit up as the blood continued to drip down the side of my face. "**Haldir**, **stop,** **please!** He is done. He won't harm me again." Haldir quickly came to my side and gently took me in his arms.

"Rumil, Oro bring him and make sure he does not move."

I threw my arms around his neck, my body sagged against his, but I couldn't stop the tears.

"My love it is alright I am here now, he will never harm you again." He picked me up and carried me over to the couch and wrapped me up in the throw that was lying on the back of the couch.

He took me in his arms, "I knew you would come!" I babbled. You saved my life! I knew you would come."

He got up to leave, "Where are you going?" I said franticly not wanting him to leave me.

He knelt in front of me, "I am going to get something from the kitchen to put on your head I have to stop the bleeding. I will return, I promise." He placed a pillow behind my head so I could lay my head back. He quickly went to the kitchen and came back with a wet dish towel and a dry one. He gently cleaned the blood off my face and put the dry one on my head to stop the bleeding. The electricity came back on and James came to.

James sat up and Haldir quickly went to him, "**You say anything and I swear I will kill you and this time she will not save you, because if it were not for her and your sister you would be dead!" **

I felt light headed and laid my head back for a minute and then it hit me. "Haldir, where is Nanuke? I had let him out before I went upstairs and I have not heard anything from him. Please find him, please?"

He smiled, "Of course, I will look for him. Rumil stay with Shashuwan, Oro come with me." A few minutes after they left Katara arrived with the Police and the detective.

Katara was so frantic she ran right past everyone and wrapped her arms around me, "Shash, I should have never left you, I should have stayed."

I smiled, "I..I am fine, Haldir saved my life." The detective and the police came in right after her. The police handcuffed James and read him his rights.

Detective Wilder came to my side, "Dr. Shane the ambulance is on its way can you tell me what happened?

"Yes, I can. Katara could you get me a glass of water please?" She went to the kitchen and I told the detective what happened, I sat up and told the detective everything from beginning to end, "That is everything, Haldir only did what he had to do to save my life. The dagger is in the kitchen on the floor where James removed it."

"And this dagger it is yours?"

"Yes, it belonged to my father." He told the police officer to go get the dagger and bag it; he walked through the house taking notes, pictures and evidence.

She returned, "Babe girl, here just sip, ok?"

"Katara, aren't you concerned about me, your brother?" She went over to him and just looked at him.

"Concern for you, are you serious? **Do you see what you have done to her! James, you raped her and now you tried to kill her, NO! I have no concern for you at all, you are not my James!"**

"But Katara, I love you we are blood, you can't stop loving me and you are all I have left."

"No James, you killed that love the day I found out you rapped my sister." She turned and walked away from him and never looked back. Haldir returned and knelt in front of me and gently took my hands in his.

"My love, I am sorry but Nanuke is dead."

I looked at him and I shook my head no, "No, he can't be, Haldir are you sure?"

He placed his hand on my cheek, "I would not lie to you, we found him on the side of the house and this was lying next to him." He handed me am empty syringe and I gave it to the detective.

"Dr. Shane, we will get this analyzed to find out what was in it or I could just ask James if you don't mind."

He went over to James and asked him, "What was in it James?"

He laughed, "What the fuck, why lie now? It was poison; I killed your precious dog, I couldn't have him barking now could I?"

Before I could say anything Katara got up and slapped him, "You are evil James; I am convinced of that now if I wasn't before." He just stared at her with disbelieving eyes.

The EMTs came in and Aunt Cloie followed, "Excuse me sir**,** but we need to take care of her." Haldir reluctantly moved so they could do their job**,** but he stayed close by. The ambulances, sirens, and a bunch of police men in uniforms were new and I could tell they disturbed him.

Another ambulance came and the EMT's checked out James and decided to take him because of the wound on his thigh and the broken nose. They helped him up and handcuffed his hands in front of him and lead him out to the ambulance.

"Dr. Shane, I am leaving now and if I need or find out anything else I will call you and just to let you know there will be someone to take pictures of your face and neck for evidence while you are at the hospital. Dr. Shane, I am that this is over now." Detective Wilder and the officers left.

Aunt Cloie was so upset she gave me a hug while the EMT's were trying to help me. "Shash, I am so thankful that you are alright and Haldir, thank you for saving her life. I owe you so much."

She went and stood by him. He put his arm around her shoulder. "You owe me nothing Aunt Cloie; I would do it again and again without hesitation."

When the EMTs finished, they told me I would have to go to the ER to get checked out. "We would like to take you to the hospital now, Dr. Shane."

"No, Katara will take me and I will go tonight, thank you."

Katara shook her head no. "Shash, you let them take you to the hospital. I will bring Haldir as soon as we put something over the patio door. That is a nasty cut on your head, and you probably can't tell, but you are in shock. So you should go."

The EMT's went and got the gurney and helped me lay down. They covered my lap and shoulders with blankets and the warmth of it did make me feel a little better. Then they started an IV. Haldir knelt next to me, shocked and amazed at what they were doing. I knew he must have a million questions. I grasped his arm with my other hand. "Haldir did they take Nanuke?"

"Yes, they did my love but they gave me his collar to give to you." He handed it to me and I finally released my hurt and pain. Haldir just held me as I cried.

"Sir we will take good care of her but we need to get her to the hospital." They strapped me in and I called for Katara. "Katara please bring Haldir to the ER with you and explain to him that I will be fine or he will worry, ok?

She smiled, "Of course I will. We will be there as soon as he changes and we put some plastic over the broken patio door, ok?"

"Thanks, Katara."

Haldir came to my side,kissed me on my cheek and that is all I remembered, after that everything faded to black. When I woke up I was in the ER and Julia was there. I was very groggy and the light that was over my bed was blinding. I squinted.

"Hey, you're awake good. I need you to answer some questions, ok?" She was busy checking my vitals. "What is your name?"

"Shashuwan, Shashuwan Shane."

"Good, what day of the week is it and do you remember what happened?"

"It, it is Saturday and I was attacked in my home by James." She was very relieved to hear my responses.

"One more question, what is your fiancés name?"

I smiled, "His name is Haldir. Is he here with Katara?"

She smiled, "Oh yes he is and he is everything Katara said he was and more." I closed my eyes trying to focus.

"Shash, we will do a brief physical and neurological evaluation. This will be followed by CT scan of the head and spinal X-rays. A nurse will be in to check your vitals again. And you know the drill from here – neuro checks every two hours. I groaned. Also there is a Detective Wilder here with a female officer to take pictures of your injuries. When they have finished I will have them send in Haldir and Katara."

I nodded and then thought better of that action. "Good, when can I go home?"

"No you won't be going home tonight. You should know we are going to keep you at least overnight just to keep an eye on you, ok?"

I smiled a bit, "You're the doctor."

She was busy looking over my chart, "First I will send Detective Wilder in so he can get his pictures and then we will send Katara and Haldir in, but not for very long, ok?"

"Shash before I leave I wanted you to know that I am so thankful that you are alright and that this is finally over!" She leaned over and kissed my forehead. "I am happy my dear friend is still with me! That's what I am thankful for." she said with tears in her eyes.

She left the room and all I could think about is if it weren't for Haldir in my life things would have been so different tonight**.** I closed my eyes and said a little prayer. _"Dear God, thank you for keeping me and most of all thank you for Haldir. Amen"_

Detective Wilder and the woman officer came in to take their pictures. I tried to be patient while they did what they had to do, but my head was throbbing. I have to say it was alittle degrading in some ways also. I mean James has been threatening me for months and he held true to his word and now I am still suffering from it all. I was happy when they finally left. All I wanted was to see Haldir and my best friend. Something for this awful pain would be nice too!

The curtain to my room pulled back and it was Haldir and Katara, finally! The only two people I really wanted to see. Katara quickly came to my side, "Babe girl, how do you feel?"

I felt so much better knowing that the two of them were with me, "Oh, I have had better days. It feels like a drummer has taken over inside my head and it hurts like hell. My back is killing me and it hurts to swallow. It's all such a blur. I don't know why I feel half the pains I do. But they sure are there!"

She kissed me on my forehead, "But you are still with me and you still have your sense of humor, good." She got very serious and whispered, "Shash, I know that Haldir can hear me but he is very upset with himself for what has happened to you. Could you please help assure him that he has nothing to feel bad about? I tried talking to him, like you asked, but I don't think he really heard me."

It bothered me that he was feeling this way, "I will talk to him, thank you Katara."

"I will, let you two be alone for just a minute." She stepped out so I could talk to my elf.

Haldir kissed me, "What is on your mind, my love?" He asked.

He sat on the stool next to my bed, "Haldir, I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened to me, ok?" I gently caressed the side of his beautiful face.

"Shash, I do! If I had been there sooner, you would not be here."

"Haldir, you listen to me! You saved my life that is why I am here now, James wanted to kill me but not before… taking me again. And you came in and did what you did. You are my hero and my guardian angel, so don't blame yourself for this, ok?"

He smiled, "I will do as you ask Shash." Just as we finished our little talk, Julia entered my room, Haldir acknowledge her with a glance.

"Haldir, I need to run some tests on Shashuwan and take care of her head wound." He nodded yes and left the room.

The orderlies came and wheeled me out the room so they could run their cans. I never knew how long these tests took I think I even fell asleep a couple times**. ** When they finished I was returned to my room and waited for Julia to return.

A short time later, Julia returned. I think she must have put a rush order on those tests! "Well, you will be happy to know that all of your tests look and now I will put four or five stitches to close that cut on your head, ok?"

"Great well let's get started." She proceeded to prep me. She waited for the area to get numb from the lidocaine injections and stitched up my head. Once she finished with her needle work, she cleaned the blood off the side my face off and gave me something for the pain.

"Julia, may I ask you a favor?"

She sat down, "Of course, what is it**?**"

"I know hospital policy, but would you please let Haldir stay with me since I will just be here over night?"

She looked at me, "Shashuwan, you know that is not allowed."

"Well, what if I had my own room? Please, let him stay**?**" I'm sure it sounded like I was begging, but I need him and he needs me." I tried to explain to her.

"Shashuwan, I will do this for you simply because I know who he is and he is not from this time. But let him know to be very quiet, ok?"

"I will thank you." She smiled and left the room.

Before long I was visited by Katara and Haldir, "Hey Katara, Haldir, I am so happy to see both of you!

They both greeted me with hugs and kisses, "Hey Vampira, how are you?"

I smiled, "Girl, I am tired, I hurt all over and more than anything I want to sleep."

"Well girl, as soon as they assign you a room, you can get all the sleep that you want, ok?

I yawned, "Well, I think it may happen a little sooner, I can barely keep my eyes open so let me say what I need to, ok? I spoke with Julia and she will let Haldir to stay with me tonight, as long as it's hush, hush. I just can't handle being a part from him not right now! And I think he really needs to be with me too."

"Katara, if it's okay, I will call you as soon as I get word of when they will discharge me, butI am sure you will be here first thing in the morning, right?"

"Of course, I will be here with a change of clothes and breakfast for both of you, ok?"

I shook my head, "I don't know what I would ever do with you, Katara**!**"

She gave me a hug, "Shash, I thank God that you are still here with me**! **My life would have never been the same without you in it. Damn, that fool man, James! I refuse to call him my brother anymore!"

Two patient assistants came in to wheel me to my room, "Dr. Shane, are you ready to go to your room?"

"Yes, I am thank you. What is my room number?"

"Dr. Shane, your guest will have to go to the front desk to get that. Besides you know they can't stay long, right?"

"Yes, I know. Katara, could you bring Haldir up with you please?"

"No problem, hey go up to your room and get settled. We will be right up."

They took me to my room and the nurse came in and helped me change in to my gown and tried to make me comfortable. A half hour later or so, Katara brought Haldir to my room.

"Katara, thank you for brining Haldir but I am so tired. I just want to close my eyes, I am sorry." Before I knew it I fell asleep. But, in the hospital no one sleeps through the night, without being awakened. For me that was every two hours! In between, my dreams were filled with my encounter with James, I felt as if I was fighting in my sleep but Haldir was there to keep watch over me and my dreams. When I awoke the next morning Haldir was standing looking out the window as if he were on guard duty.

"Good morning my love," I said, as I tried to sit up a little but it seemed as if every muscle in my body did not want to move. He came to my bed, "Could you help me please?"

He gently helped me sit up and sat on the bed next to me, "How do you feel this morning? Better I hope."

"Yes, I do feel a little better, my head is not pounding it's more like a throbbing now but my body aches all of over. Did you sleep at all?"

"No, my love I kept watch over you**. ** I promise I will sleep tonight when we are safely home."

He looked so troubled, "Babe what is wrong? I am fine."

"I hate, well you know how I feel you just have to give me time to as you would say, "move past it."

I smiled, "I will give you, your time if you will stop being so hard on yourself, ok?"

He smiled, "I will, but I have to admit I am very proud of the way you fought back."

I gave him that "who me look? ". "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"The dagger and the fighting back, I can't wait to train you. You will make a great fighter."

"Oh, I would not read too much into what I did, ok? It was pure anger, so just let it go for now, ok?" There was a knock at the door and it was Julia.

"Good Morning, Shashuwan, how do you feel?"

"My head is not pounding, it's more like a throbbing, my body aches and the middle of my back is very stiff. But other than that I feel better and I am ready to go home."

"Well, you will be happy to know that your vitals were very good all night long and everything else you are feeling is perfectly normal. I have already called Katara and she is on her way.**"**

I laid my head back in total relief, "Great! I just want to go home and get in my own bed."

Julia agreed, "And that is exactly what I want you to do but there is one thing that you have not done yet."

I looked at her strangely, "What are you talking about?"

"You have not introduced me to your fiancé yet?"

"Well I am sorry, Julia, let me introduce you to my fiancé Haldir, Haldir my good friend Julia and the same one that will be running my clinic."

Julia, smiled and reached for Haldir's hand, "It is a pleasure to finally meet you Haldir."

Haldir shook her hand, "It is an honor to meet you Julia and thank you for taking care of my Shashuwan."

"Haldir, it seems that I should be thanking you for saving her life**.** Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"No need to thank me, I will always protect her, Julia."

She smiled, "I know you will Haldir. Shash, I have to go and finish your discharge papers and write out a script for you. I will return soon, a nurse will be in to remove your IV, also. But I will leave you two alone for now. Oh and Haldir, please make sure she gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom. Thank you." He nodded yes and right after she left the nurse came into remove the IV. Haldir stood by and watched with curiosity, when she left he immediately did as Julia had asked him.

When I returned to my bed Katara had just gotten there, "Hey Vampira, you are up and moving good! So how do you feel?"

"I feel like my body is one great big bruise."

She had a sympathetic look on her face, "Shash don't worry you'll be better in no time. But in the meantime, I have breakfast for both of you, so sit down so you can eat. I also brought you a change of clothes. Haldir and I sat down to eat and I had questions for Katara.

"Katara, were you able to get someone to come repair the patio door and the wall, yet?"

"Yes, there is a private company fixing the patio door now and I have a friend whom owns his own construction business that is coming out to repair the wall."

"You are the best, thank you very much."

"No, problem girl, how is the breakfast, you two?"

Haldir was trying to swallow his food so he could speak, "Katara, it is delicious, thank you."

"Same here girl, I really needed that and the coffee fantastic." The door opened and it was Julia.

"Hey Katara, how are you?"

"I am good can I take my sister home, now?"

"I am happy to say yes, you can. But, she is to remain in bed the next couple days and get plenty of rest. I have also written a script for pain. And as for the work this week no and no, not till I see you again I want you to be stress free and lots of rest, ok?"

Haldir smiled, "Julia, that will not be a problem, I promise to take care of her." He looked at me and arched an eyebrow, "Shash that means no work and no laptop. Do you understand?"

I could not help but smile, "Ok, Haldir, no work, no laptop just rest, I promise."

"Shash, I just need for you to sign your release papers and you can be on your way." I did as she asked and Katara helped me change into the clothes that she had bought for me. Before long the nurse came in with a wheel chair. Katara had to assure Haldir that is strictly hospital regulation. When arrived at home I had fallen asleep, instead of waking me up Haldir carried me upstairs to bed.

"Haldir…we're home?"

"Yes, we Cloie is on her way up to help you get dressed for bed and I will return."

. "Oh, ok." Haldir had left the room while my Aunt helped me change moving just seemed impossible. When she finished she helped me to bed, I was exhausted

"I almost forgot. Don't forget to take your pill." She handed me a glass of water along with the pill and I did as she asked.

"Thank you, Aunt C." Before long Haldir was upstairs and in bed next to me, I felt his warmth and slipped off into a very deep sleep.

When I finally woke up Sunday it was late afternoon and the first person I saw was Haldir sitting there next to my bed reading. It bought back fond memories from when I first saw him in Lothlorien sitting with his legs stretched out reading.

I tried to sit up and Haldir quickly came to help me. "Shashuwan let me help you. How do you feel?"

I managed a smile, "My head is pounding and every muscle in my body is one giant knot."

"Can I get you anything? Are you thirsty? Hungry? Just tell me and I will get it."

"I would like some water and I am hungry, but first I need help to get up." I looked at him desperately.

He helped me out the bed which proved to be very painful, "Shash would you like for me to carry you?"

"No my love, I have to walk**. **It helps loosen up the muscles. But if you would just place your arm around my waist and place your hand underneath my left arm that would help give me balance, I think." He did exactly what I asked. It was painful, but I managed to walk all the way to the bathroom. "Thank you, I have it from here."

"I will stay right here and wait for you." When I returned he was there waiting and I was almost tempted to have him pick me up but I didn't ask and he did not offer. He helped back to the bed.

"Would you like to lie down while I go and get you something to eat?"

"No I will sit right here if you don't mind."

He kissed me on my forehead, "I will return."

When he returned with my tray everyone came with him, "They insisted on seeing you, I hope that was alright," he told me, he seemed slightly unsure of himself.

"Yes, it is fine, Haldir. Could you help me, my back hurts and I need to lay back some."

He fluffed my pillows and helped me get comfortable and placed my tray on my lap. He let everyone know they could come in. I was very happy to see all of them. The first to greet me were Rumil and Oro, they each gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Rumil gave me the biggest hug, "Little sister, how are you fairing? Oro and I were so worried about you."

"Thanks to your brother I am feeling much better. I want to thank you for coming to help me."

Oro gently took my hand, "Shash no thanks is needed as long as you are well and that animal will be put away."

"Thank you, Oro and he will be put away for a long time, I hope."

"Shash, I need to speak with my brothers but I will return." He kissed me and left with his brothers. Katara and Aunt Cloie stayed with me to keep me company.

Katara gave me hug, "Babe, how are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

I smiled, "Of course I slept well Haldir was with me."

"Well after you have finished your food would like a nice warm bath with Epson salt?" Aunt Cloie suggested.

I took a deep sigh, "That sounds wonderful, I would truly enjoy that, thank you."

"Good, I will prepare your bath and in the meantime, eat your soup before it gets cold, ok?"

"I will make sure she finishes all of it, Aunt Cloie." Said Katara." She left the room to get what she needed.

I started eating my soup which was warm and delicious, it felt so good going down, "Katara, I know you have something to tell me what is it?"

She was pacing the floor, "Katara, stop pacing and tell me what is wrong?"

She sat down and began, "Detective Wilder, phoned me and asked to come see me, him so I went. He wanted to show me something."

"Ok, what was it?"

"He went to James apartment to find more evidence and they did, he took pictures of what he saw."

"Katara, what is it?" She handed me an envelope. "You have to see for yourself."

I finished my meal and she took my tray, just as she did that Haldir came in the room and just stood there.

"Haldir, what is wrong?" I said.

"Did she see them yet?"

Katara looked at Haldir with a worried look, "No, not yet, I just gave it to her."

I was really worried so I opened what she gave me, what I saw horrified me. They were pictures of me leaving home, entering my clinic, out on dates, out with Katara but what really upset me was that there pictures of Haldir and I when we went out.

"How did he take all of these? What a sick bastard! Damn! Will this ever end?"

"Shash, Detective Wilder said James bedroom walls were covered with pictures of you, he was obsessed with you. In his own mind he always wanted you but when you dated other men, it consumed him. Then he found out that you told me about it and when he saw you with Haldir it sent him over the edge. That is why he started sending the notes and you know the rest."

Haldir finally said something, "Shash, I should have never come. If I hadn't then he would have never attacked you." I looked at him totally shocked.

"Katara, could you please take my tray? I need to talk with Haldir alone, please."

"Sure, Shash don't be so hard on him, ok? He loves you, his only concern is you."

"I know." She left and closed the door behind her.

"Haldir, please come sit next to me." He did but reluctantly, "Haldir, please tell me you don't blame yourself, do you?"

He gently touched the side of my face, "My love, I never wanted to put you in danger; I only wanted to protect you. What has happened to you is breaking my heart."

"Haldir, this is not your fault, this is all James, we are innocent, we did nothing wrong. Are you telling me that us falling in love was wrong?"

"No, I am not, I am just saying that.."

"That what, you acted before you thought?"

"Well, maybe."

"Haldir, look at me, you are second guessing yourself, that is not like you. You are a warrior your decisions are always correct and your enemies fear you. Don't do this to yourself, I won't have it. You saved the woman that you love, the woman that you are going to marry. If you hadn't I would be dead now and we would not be sitting here having this conversation."

He smiled, "Shashuwan, I love you, that will never change and I will never second guess myself again. I will always be your warrior."

I gently pulled him to me and kissed his lips and he returned the kiss with gentleness, I smiled, "You are my "Guardian Angel" don't ever forget that."

"I will never forget that as long as there is breath in my body, as long as you are by my side."

There was a knock at the door and it was my Aunt, "Excuse me you two but I have come to prepare a bath for Shash.

I looked at Haldir, "Of course Aunt C, I am ready for that warm soak."

She walked over to where I sat with Haldir on the bed. "How is your face? Is it still swollen?" She gently placed her hand under my chin to tilt my face up. "Well the swelling is surprisingly not that bad compared to yesterday." She gave me a kiss on my cheek and prepared my bath.

"Well my "Guardian Angel", are you good now?"

He smiled, "Yes, I am good and I will leave so you can bathe."

"Thank you." He left and I knew he was feeling better.

Aunt Cloie returned, "Your bath is ready, let me help you." She helped me get undressed and assisted me getting in the bathtub. The water felt so good that all I could do was lay back and relax. She sat with me so we could talk.

"Shashuwan, how are you, I mean really?"

I laid there in the tub with my eyes closed but I could not stop my tears from falling**.** I opened my eyes sat up and cried, "I want my Nanuke back and more than anything I want him back!" She leaned over the tub and held me while all my hurt and pain came pouring out of me.

"Babe, its ok just let it go. You can't heal unless you let it out. It's alright, I am here for you."

"Aunt Cloie, all I could think about is what happened the first time but I was determined not to let it happen again."

"Babe, you did well, it's alright it's over now**. **He can no longer harm you." She reluctantly let me go.

I sat there trying to pull myself together, "Aunt Cloie, I have never thought of James that way," I told her as I shook my head. I always thought of him as a brother and nothing more. Did I do something to make him think there was something else there?"

"Shash, we can't understand why some men just get obsessed or what they feel they may think it is love in their own twisted way. Shash, look at me, don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong, ok?"

I nodded yes and she kissed my forehead, "I am going to go downstairs and would you like a cup of hot chocolate?"

I smiled, "With three marshmallows?"

"Of course, now lay back and relax, ok?"

"I will, Aunt Cloie? Thank you for everything." She blew me a kiss and left, closing the door behind her. I sat there alone in the bathroom thinking about everything that has happened to trying to figure out exactly where everything went wrong but I could find no answer. My bath water was getting cool so I managed to get myself out the tub, dry off and apply my lotion. I went to the bedroom put on some other PJ's and got back in bed.

I was expecting my Aunt but instead it was my love, "Hey, how are you?"

"I am fine Shash, Aunt Cloie asked me to bring this to you. Are you in pain?"

"Yes, could you hand me that little bottle? Thank you." I opened them and took out one pill and took it with my hot chocolate. I sat there drinking it and got very sleepy.

"Shash, would you like for me to stay?"

I place the cup on my nightstand, "Of course, you don't have to ask." He gently stroked my face, "What is wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking how you told me that you were not a fighter but just a healer."

I smiled, "And you are thinking what?"

"That you could be a very good warrior if you let me train you."

I softly laughed, "If you wish to train me, I will be one of your best students. Now will you come lay with me and keep me warm while I sleep."

He closed the blinds and got in bed with me, I gingerly turned over to lie in his embrace, "Shash are you in that much pain?"

I managed a smile, "I am, but the bath and the medicine did help some. I will take another hot soak tomorrow but right now, I have made no plans to leave this bed anytime soon."

"Shash, it pains me to see you like this, I wish there was more that I can do for you."

He pulled the blankets up around my shoulders and gently pulled me close to him. I sighed gently into his ear, "Haldir, you are doing it right now."

He gently kissed my lips and I drifted off to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It has been two days since I was attacked by James in my own home. Sometimes I think it was a nightmare but I know it wasn't. The pain in my body is real, as are the scars on my face. My beloved dog is dead and I know that is real because my heart breaks every day that I don't see him. But Haldir and his brothers came to my world and saved my life. They are truly my heroes and with that, my love for Haldir grows stronger every day. Some other miraculous things have happened to me, also.

When I woke up, I felt no pain in my head and my back was not 100% better but at least I could move a lot more. I was very thankful for that. But I was more curious as to why Aunt Cloie and Haldir were in my room watching over me, they both seemed very worried. Haldir was seated on the chair next to my bed and Aunt Cloie was pacing the floor.

"Aunt Cloie? What's wrong? You look worried**.**" She set at the foot of my bed.

"Shash, yes I have been worried, you have been asleep since yesterday!"

I looked at her, "What? I have been sleep since yesterday afternoon? Are you serious?"

"Yes, we thought it was best to let you rest."

I sat there trying to take all of this in, "I think I might need to go and see my friend Theresa." Who treated me in the ER on the tragic night of my attack, "I don't want to take a chance of this happening again, I mean it could be anything." Just as I said that Rumil and Oro entered the room.

Haldir was sitting in the chair next to my bed, "Will you let me remove your bandage? I may know what has happened." I nodded yes. He gently removed the bandage and for a second I thought everyone was staring at my messed up face.

"Haldir, what is wrong? Has it gotten worse? Is it infected?"

He gently took my hand in his, "No, it is fine. You healed yourself."

I looked at him like he was crazy, "I WHAT! Are you serious?"

Aunt Cloie went to my dresser and got my mirror and handed it to me. "Here look for yourself**.**" she said.

I slowly brought the mirror to my face and what I saw shocked me, "It..it's just a scar but how, how did that happen?"

Haldir placed his finger under my chin and gently turned my face to meet his, "There is nothing wrong with you. The elf that is within you must have been awakened when you were in Lothlorien."

I tilted my head, "My elf side is awake? But I have always been able to read people's thoughts. Why did I have to be in Lothlorien for this to happen?"

"Shash, I am not the one to answer your questions, you would have to speak with the "Lady of Light" to get your answers."

Oro sat at the foot of my bed, "Well little sister, it is good that your elf side is alive, is it not?"

I smiled, "It is, but it is a little strange at the same time**. **I feel like I don't know my own body anymore**. ** I mean first it was James and now this? What else is going to happen?"

Haldir smiled, "There is nothing strange about it, just think of it as a part of your new life."

I laughed, "You are right, it is a part of my father and I am proud of that, I can heal myself! Who would have thought? But it is still kind of crazy."

Aunt Cloie was laughing, "Shash, I am happy to see that beautiful smile on your face again. Can I get you anything? You were asleep a good long time!"

"Yes, I am very hungry."

"Well what would you like?"

"A ham sandwich with tomato, lettuce and onion on wheat bread with two pickles and a glass of apple juice**,**" I told her with a smile.

She laughed, "You have quite an appetite, don't you? I am very happy for it though! Is there anything else?"

"I think another hot soak would be nice."

"Of course it would. You must still feel pretty battered, even with this wonderful new healing ability. I will return with the food shortly. Would you gentlemen like anything to eat?"

Haldir answered first, "I will have what Shash is having, if you don't mind?"

"Of course Marchwarden, Oro, Rumil would you like anything?"

Rumil answered, "We will have the same**, **but may we help?"

"Of course, extra hands in the kitchen are always welcome." They followed Aunt Cloie shutting the door behind them.

I got out of bed, with hardly any pain which was very nice but Haldir hurried to tell me, "Shash, you need to take your time when you move, let me help you." He helped me up so I could go to the bathroom.

"Thank you, Haldir. I guess I am not completely healed."

When I came out the bathroom, he was sitting on the bed, "I thought I would let you walk back on your own."

I slowly made it back to my bed but I did not stop there I started to make up my bed, it was painful but I did it. When I finished I sat in the chair in front of the window as if I was waiting for someone or something, "Shash, is there something wrong?" Haldir asked.

I took a deep breath, "I keep looking for Nanuke. Winter was his favorite season. I just miss him so much, Haldir. He has always been with me. I want him back, I want to see him playing in the snow and lying at the foot of my bed!" I started crying, "Why did James have to take him away from me? He did nothing wrong! Why?"

Haldir knelt in front of me and took my hands in his and gently wiped the tears from my face, "Shash, look at me, please?"

"Yes?" sniff, sniff.

"I wish I could do something to take your pain away and the loss that you are feeling, if I had the power, I would give him back to you but I do not."

I smiled, "Haldir, you have done more than enough for me, as long as I can look into your beautiful blue eyes and feel your arms around me, I will be fine." He leaned in and kissed me. "I think I should return to bed I feel a little light headed."

He pulled back the blankets on the bed and sat up the pillows for me so I can lay back. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes, I do but I will feel even better after my warm soak." Just as I said that there was a knock at the door. It was my Aunt with our lunch.

"Sorry, it took so long but I had two elves that insisted on fixing lunch for both of you and they did a fantastic job."

Haldir laughed, "My brothers prepared our lunch?"

"Yes, they did and do not make fun of them!" she admonished Haldir with a raised eyebrow.

"Shash, Katara called to check on you and she wanted me to tell you that she has a surprise for you."

"She does? She is always doing something for me," I said with a smile. "Well if she calls again**,** let her know I am patiently waiting for her."

She had set the tray on my lap, "Well I am going back downstairs with my helpers and I will be back in an hour to start your bath, ok?"

"Ok, Aunt C, one thing, I am just curious what has Oro and Rumil been doing to pass the time?"

"Well, Katara introduced them to Wii."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yes, they have been playing Just Dance 3, Mario and Michael Jackson." She said smiling.

I laughed, "Really?! Rumil and Oro! Are they any good?"

"Oh, yes they really enjoy the dancing."

"Well, I can't wait to see that, maybe tomorrow if I am feeling better."

"I think they would enjoy showing off what they have learned."

"Ok, thank you, Aunt C. See you later."

"No problem, enjoy your lunch you two." She left the room and closed the door behind her.

I started eating my lunch which was delicious**.** "Haldir do you like your sandwich?"

"Yes, I do. Shash, it amazes me that a lot of the foods that you eat are the same foods that we eat in Lothlorien."

"They are the same almost, we prepare them differently and some of our food is processed."

"Processed? What do you mean by processed?"

"Well, some food is processed so it last longer but a lot of processed food is not good for you. But a lot of people**,** myself included that try to eat more organic foods. It is better for you, it may cost a little more**,** but it is worth it. Or some people grow their own vegetables."

He looked at me oddly, "So, what about the meat on my sandwich?"

"The turkey meat, I bought that from a market, no processing at all."

Haldir nodded his head in understand and then asked, "Shash, would you like to come back to Lothlorien with me?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I have spoken with Nana about it and she had hoped that you would come back with me**. **It would give you a chance to heal and as you would say; a change of scenery."

I smiled, "Yes, I think I would like that very much. Getting away right now would be great for me. I think I could use a break from this world! Is it possible I could talk with Lord Elrond?"

"I am not sure**, **but I think he may still be in Rivendell."

"Humm, if he is not there it's okay. Just being in the peaceful quiet of Lothlorien will be a welcome break."

We enjoyed the rest of our lunch together and discussed a variety of topics**. **After we had finished our lunch; Haldir took the tray downstairs and let Aunt C know that I was ready for my bath. When he left I managed to get up and undressed by myself, I just wish my back would fully heal. I put my robe on and lay down; it was not long before I heard Lady Galadriel in my thoughts.

_"Shashuwan, how are you?"_

_ "Nana, I am fine. Thank you for asking."_

_ I felt her smile, "I have been feeling the pain that you are in and I am concerned about you."_

_ "My body aches all over especially my back, where he...he hit me."_

_ "I have something that will help you and I will let Haldir know at once."_

_ "Thank you, Nana for your help."_

_ "Will you return with Haldir and his brothers? Did he talk to you about it?"_

_ "Yes, he did and I would love to come to Lothlorien and visit."_

_ "I await your arrival"_

_ I took a deep breath, "Thank you Nana."_

_ "Good bye, my daughter."_

When I opened my eyes, Aunt C was busy in the bathroom preparing my bath. I sat up in bed as she came out the bathroom.

Good you are up, are you ready, "Yes, I am."

"Shash, what is wrong?"

"My back really hurts sometimes**.** I can't get comfortable at all**.**"

"Here let me help you into the bathroom."

When I was in the bathroom, I took off my robe and Aunt Cloie she saw the bruise, "Shash your back! I had no idea that your back looked that bad are the pills helping at all?"

"Sometimes, they do, I just end up taking another in the middle of the night."

"Julia called and wants to see you tomorrow at 1:00pm."

I stepped into the warm bath and eased my way back into a reclining position. The warmth felt so good**,** all of my muscles just seem to relax. "Thank you Aunt C."

"If you need help getting out let me know and I will be right up."

"I will thanks again." She left and went downstairs so I could relax and wouldn't feel the need to talk or anything else. As I laid there I thought about everything that happened Saturday and I thanked God for Haldir and his brothers! If they had not come when they did, I might not be writing this now, or ever! There was a soft knock at the door**. ** "Haldir, why are you knocking? Come in."

"Are you sure?"

"It's fine," I assured him. "I am covered, come in, please?"

He slowly opened the door**,** not sure of what he would see**.** "I could come back later if you would like?"

"No come in, it's perfectly ok."

I was covered completely in my bubble bath so he had nothing to worry about he slowly opened the door and peaked around it. "You are correct about not seeing anything; I have never seen you bathe before not even in Lorien**.**" Said Haldir.

He sat on the chair next to my bathtub**. ** "What did you need or want?" I asked him.

"Did Nana talk to you?" I could tell he was very distracted by being in bathroom with me while I was bathing.

"Yes, she did and I have what was left for you."

"What is it?"

He opened his hand and it was a small clear vial, "It is healing oil that should be gently rubbed on your back and a warm towel is applied afterwards."

I smiled**.** "Thank you, she had told me that she would send something to help with the pain."

He had this smile on his face and he softly chuckled to himself.

"What was that for, Haldir?"

He reached over and gently pulled back a wet hair that was lying on my face, "I was reminded when you were in Lothlorien and I came to your door to ask if you wanted a tour of Lothlorien, you were standing there with the same hair lying on your face and the way the water was dripping on your robe. You looked so beautiful I could not take my eyes off you."

I laughed out loud, "You remembered that?"

"Yes, I forget nothing where you are concerned**.** I remembered thinking that one day I hope she will be my wife and let me love her forever."

"You knew I would say yes then?"

"No, not really, Shash, I had no idea what you would say**. ** I just hoped for the best."

"I have to admit that you had my heart when you kissed me back on the balcony**.** I will never forget that kiss for as long as I live!" He leaned over the tub and kissed me and there was a knock at the door.

"Shash, are you ready to get out?"

"Yes, Aunt Cloie, you can come in."

"Haldir, I did not know you were here, I could come back if you would like?"

"No, please take care of Shash; I will wait just outside the bedroom**.**"

"Haldir, I have a warm towel for you by the bed," my aunt told him.

"Thank you**.**" He left the bathroom and Aunt C, helped me out the tub. I managed to dry off and lotion up**.** Aunt Cloie came back with my night clothes. I put them on and sat on the bed while she dried my hair.

"Now take your pill, dear, Haldir is waiting."

I did so, I then lay on my stomach and waited for him. He entered the room and Aunt Cloie had placed the warm towel on the night stand next to my bed.

"Would you like for me to stay Marchwarden?"

"No, we will be fine, thank you." She left the room closing the door behind her.

He sat on the bed next to me and gently rolled my shirt up, "Shash, this oil is very warm. When I have finished I will lay the warm towel upon it for more heat, it will help with the healing and your pain."

"Ok, you may start when you are ready."

He poured the oil in his hand and rubbed them together and gently rubbed my back in a circular motion. His large hands felt so good on my back, I could not help but let out a moan of pleasure.

"Haldir, your hands feel so good, please don't stop." He leaned over and softly kissed my cheek. He continued until about half the bottle was gone. When he finished he placed the warm cloth upon my back.

He then went to the bathroom and washed his hands. When he returned, I was trying to stay awake so I could thank him. "Shash, you are not sleep why?"

I lifted my head, "I was waiting for you."

He removed his boots and got in bed next to me, "Now, close your eyes and sleep." He kissed my lips; I closed my eyes and drifted into a deep healing sleep.

When I awoke hours later, Haldir was just coming out of the bathroom, "Well, you are awake, how do you feel?" He asked as he walked over to greet me.

I sat up with no pain, "I feel great, I mean I really do."

He smiled, "Well that is nice to hear, may I see your back?"

I turned over on my front and Haldir pulled up my shirt to see if the bruise was still there, "Shash, you will be happy to know that the bruise is completely healed."

I sat up and pulled my shirt down in the back, "Does this treatment always work so quickly?"

"Yes, but you are still healing on the inside so please be careful."

I got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up, "Haldir, I really want to go downstairs, will that be alright? Please?"

"If you must, but do not do too much." He placed his arm around my shoulder and led me to the hall and down the stairs.

"Hello, Rumil and Oro."

"Little sister, why are you out of bed?"

"Well I am feeling much better and I wanted to spend some time with the two of you." Aunt Cloie came out the kitchen and was very surprised to see me.

"Hey so you have come to join us this evening, this is a surprise, but let's gets you off your feet." She went upstairs to get a blanket and pillow for me and I sat on the couch. She returned and placed the pillow behind me and covered me with the blanket. I looked at the patio door to my left and then to my right at the wall, everything that happened started flooding back. I closed my eyes trying to force the unwanted memories out of my head.

Haldir whom was sitting next to me placed his arm around me, "Shash, is this is too much for you? I can take you back upstairs."

I shook my head, "No, I will not be afraid in my own home any longer," I told him with determination. "This is my home and eventually the memories of James will fade away and I am done running and living in fear!"

He gently hugged me, "I am happy to hear you say that."

"Shash, Katara is on her way home and will be getting pizza and beer, would you like something different?" said, Aunt Cloie.

"No, that is fine**. ** I will have pizza but no beer."

"Of course, what would you like to drink?"

"Pepsi would be nice but for right now a cup of hot tea would be even better." She left the room to prepare my tea.

"So, brothers**, **tell me what have you been doing to keep your selves busy?"

Rumil was more than happy to tell me, "We have been playing the Wii".

"WOW! The Wii, huh? So what do you think of it? Did you like it?"

"It is great fun! Once Katara explained everything to us, we can not get enough of it**. ** Oro and I like to dance."

"I will have to see that one day."

Oro finally spoke up, "Shash, I hope you do not mind but Aunt Cloie let us watch your family DVD."

I smiled, "No, I don't mind. Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, we did, you were a pretty little girl and very funny." They both smiled.

"I know, I loved to keep people laughing, I just like to have a good time." Before long Katara was home, Rumil and Oro wasted no time helping her.

Katara was very happy to see me, "Girlfriend, I was so happy to hear that you were up and moving around." She gave me the biggest hug. "Girl, you have no idea how worried I was about you and then Aunt Cloie told me how you healed yourself and how the bruise on your back is gone! So is it really true? May I see your head and back? Please?"

The excitement on her face was just precious, "Of course you can." I took the bandage from my head and showed her, she was in shock, "OMG, I can't believe this it is just a scar, are you serious? Show me your back!"

I turned my back to her and let her lift my shirt**.** "This is amazing! So, what Aunt Cloie said was true, that your elf side has awakened?"

I pulled my shirt down a bit more after she lowered it and turned around to face her, "Yes, it is." Haldir left us alone and went to the kitchen with Aunt Cloie and his brothers.

She gave me a hug, "Are you ok with this? I mean considering all that has happened and now this, I am sure it can be a little overwhelming."

"Katara, I am a little freaked out by this awakening thing and I really need to talk with someone about this, who understands."

"And who is that?"

"Well either Lady Galadriel or Lord Elrond."

"But wouldn't that mean you going back to Lothlorien?"

"Yes, I need to go back I need to speak with one of them."

She looked at me a little oddly, "I have to admit it sounds a little strange but all I want is for you to heal and feel better. If you need to go to Lothlorien to heal and get past what James had done to you, then I am all for it. I want what best for you, ok?"

We hugged, "Thank you, Katara; I knew you would understand. Thank you."

"No problem Shash, but I do have something for you, I hope you don't mind that I did this for you." She handed me a box with a red ribbon around it. "Open it, I hope you like it."

I opened the box and took out a medium sized box that had a picture frame attached to it, it was picture of Nanuke and I, in the box were the remains of Nanuke.

"Oh, Katara this is beautiful, I miss him so much, thank you." We were both crying when everyone returned.

Haldir sat next to me, "Shash, what is wrong?" I handed him what Katara had given me.

"Katara, gave this to me, isn't it beautiful?"

He smiled, "Yes, it is, thank you Katara for doing this for Shash." He handed it back to me.

"Katara could you please put this on my night stand, it would make me sleep better knowing that he is close by."

"Sure, I will do that for you, I'll be right back." She wiped my tears away and gave me a kiss on my cheek, she then went upstairs.

Aunt Cloie, Oro and Rumil returned from the kitchen with pizza and beer which they set on the coffee table**.** I was wondering what my two brothers would think of their meal. I sat there with my plate and dove into the pizza. I found I was really hungry! Haldir started eating and his brothers joined right in. Katara returned downstairs to join us.

I was very curious as to what she thought of Oro and Rumil so I asked her to join me in the kitchen. "So, Katara what do think?"

She looked at me oddly, "Think about what?"

I smiled, "Rumil and Oro, I know you have been spending time with them."

"Well yes, I have and taking my time explaining everything to them." Then this smirk came across her face. "Can I keep both of them, please?"

I laughed, "I kind of thought you would like them, they are very sweet aren't they?"

She took a deep breath, "Girl, if I were not involved right now, I would consider…."

I looked at her in shock, "Katara, really? You are talking about the two elves whom will soon be my brothers and yours."

"I know but I can think about it, dream about it can't I?" She was trying to give me the innocent look but I knew there was nothing innocent behind that look.

I just shook my, "Katara, I am very happy you are involved right now and I don't even want to know what is going on in your head, ok."

"Ok, fine no more talk about my fantasies concerning Rumil and Oro."

"Thank you. So how is work? Is everything running smoothly?"

"Things are fine, matter of fact I almost forgot something I will be right back." She left the kitchen and returned with a gift bag. "This is for you and please don't ask what it is, I have no idea. So open it," as she nudged my hand. "I am very curious."

She handed me the box and inside was a card which everyone hand signed and a silver picture frame that included a picture of everyone from the clinic, "Shash they really miss you and everyone is praying for you. It is their way of letting you know that they are all thinking of you."

I really didn't know what to say I was consumed with joy and love, "Katara, they are all amazing, aren't they?"

She smiled, "Yes they are and you have the best team working for you and I want you to know that no one has even considered leaving after you do, they want to stay on and carry on what you have started."

"Thanks, tell them I said thank you and I will return to work soon." I felt myself tearing up**,** but Katara quickly averted the entire scene.

"Ok, stop it! No more crying**! ** I won't have it any more tears I think that we have shed enough to last a lifetime now let's return to Haldir and his brothers."

When we returned to the family room Haldir was out on the deck talking to his brothers**.** When they returned he informed me that his brothers had to leave but requested that I play for them on my instrument with keys.

"Haldir, of course I will it will be my honor to play for them and I know exactly what to play." I asked Katara join me on her guitar, they followed us into the front room where they saw the portrait of my parents over the mantel.

"Shash, are they your parents?" Rumil asked**.**

"Yes, they are it was painted before their death."

"They are a beautiful couple." said Oro. They were both very interested in my piano especially Oro, "Shash, what is this called?"

"It is a piano, Haldir could you explain it to them**? **I need to ask Katara a quick question." I went and asked Katara if she could accompany me on her guitar I wanted to play something special for Rumil and Oro before they left, she was more than happy to comply. Aunt Cloie and I entered the front room, Haldir and his brothers were standing around the piano waiting and just as I sat down Katara entered the room with her guitar. She pulled up a chair next to me.

"Tonight I would like to play a song for my husband to be and my two brothers that saved my life, the name of the song is "Hero" Katara will be playing her guitar and singing with me." I began playing and Katara joined in half way through my intro, she turned and smiled because it brought back a lot of memories for the two of us and how much we enjoyed playing together. When we finished every one applauded, Rumil and Oro gave Katara and I the biggest hugs.

"Shash and Katara that was beautiful and your voices are strong but gentle." Rumil said.

Katara smiled, "Rumil, thank you. That was very sweet of you to say."

"Shash, I have never heard such beautiful music played on such an unusual instrument. Thank you I will remember it always."

I gently took each of their hands into my own. "I wanted you to know how much I love you and appreciate you coming in my time of need, I knew Haldir was coming but when I saw the two of you, I knew that I had the best brothers in all of Middle Earth." They gave a group hug.

"Well my brothers, it is time for you to leave I will walk with you. Shash I won't be long but when I return I expect you to be in bed." He kissed me and left with his brothers. We turned off the lights in the front room and closed the doors behind us, I started to pick up my things but Katara and Aunt Cloie insisted that I stop what I was doing and sit down.

"Ok, you two, what are you up to now? "

Katara sat across from and Aunt C sat next her, "Well we were not sure that you have given too much thought into certain things concerning your wedding." Katara said.

I looked at her a little oddly, "My wedding? Hummmm… such as what?"

Katara looked a little shocked, "What do you mean such as what? Your wedding dress, the dress you would wear after the ceremony and what you would wear on your honeymoon?"

"Oh yes, well the wedding dress is already being taken care of and I have to admit that with everything that has been going on, I have not given each much thought."

Aunt Cloie shook her head, "Well don't worry about it anymore**. ** Katara and I are taking care of everything."

I gave a big yawn, "Well ladies, I had better get in bed before Haldir returns and I want to say thank you for doing this for me**. ** I have been thinking about our wedding… especially the wedding night," I told them with a smile on my face.

Katara laughed**.** "Well at least your mind is on what is really important, Shash**. ** Aunt C and I just wanted you to be able to heal from everything that has happened and to let you know that we are taking care of things for you. So, when you go to Lorien with Haldir, don't worry about anything here and just relax. Can you do that for us?"

"You guys are the best! And, I will do exactly that, as a matter of fact the only thing I will take with me is a good book to read, ok?"

Aunt Cloie was very pleased, "Sounds great, now off to bed."

I gave them each a hug and went upstairs to go to bed before Haldir returned to me**.** I was not sure what time Haldir came up to bed, but I know I always sleep better when he is next to me.

The next morning I had a very nice breakfast with Haldir and Aunt Cloie, I was very happy to go to my appointment with Theresa. When we arrived I did not have long to wait to see her. She was shocked to see how quickly I had healed.

"So, Ms. Shane would you like to tell me how you managed to heal so quickly?" She asked with curiosity.

I arched an eyebrow, "Well you know if I tell you, I would have to get rid of you."

She laughed, "Shash I'm serious, how did this happen?"

"Theresa it has to with my father's amazing gene pool and that is all I can say, ok?"

"Well if you insist but we will visit this topic again, ok?"

I arched an eyebrow, "I have nothing to say about that right now, so am I free to travel?"

She sat on the stool to finish some last minute notes, "Travel, where are you going?"

"I am going home with my fiancé."

"Well I see no reason why you can't so you but please don't overdo it, ok? But you are free to leave town with your lovely fiancé."

I smiled, "Thank you, for everything." I gave her a hug and started to leave.

"Hey Shash, you are coming for Christmas dinner aren't you? I have already invited your Aunt Cloie and Katara. Oh and one other thing is he here?"

"Of course I will be there and let me know what I can bring, yes he is here, why?"

"I just wanted to thank him again."

I smiled, "Really, you already thanked him once."

"Well he is very sexy looking."

"Come on I am sure he would like to see you also." She followed me to the waiting room where Aunt Cloie and Haldir were patiently waiting.

Haldir stood to greet Theresa, "Theresa, I am pleased to see you again and is my Shash, is she free to travel?"

"Yes, she is but don't let her overdo it and I wanted to thank you for everything that you have done for her, Haldir."

He smiled, "No need to thank me, I would do anything for her."

Theresa smiled and looked at me, "My my my, you are a lucky woman. Well you are free to go and enjoy your time away and when you get back we can talk some more, ok?"

I had just opened the door to leave, "Shash, I will see you Monday at the clinic, right?"

"Yes, I plan on being back early Sunday evening and Theresa thanks again for everything."

She smiled, "I am just happy that this whole ordeal is over with, so you have a lovely time with your fiancé."

"I will thank you." We left Theresa's office and went straight home because I was more than anxious to leave for Lothlorien.

When we arrived home I immediately went to my study to look over some mail that Katara had left for me. Both my attorney and accountant are fantastic, I am anxious to read over what they had sent me. I sat at my desk and read over the contract for transferring my clinic over to Theresa and Katara, the deeds to the houses and my finances everything was great, I made just a few changes and I will return them when I get back.

As usual when I am in my study I am oblivious to my surroundings and the time**. **I didn't even hear Haldir enter the study**. **"Shash, you should be resting not working**,**" he gently scolded me.

He sat on the desk facing me and I sat back to get a full view of him, "Haldir, thank you for your concern but believe me, I am doing much better. Besides,I am too excited to sleep right now**. ** I can't wait to be back in Lothlorien**!**" I said smiling.

"I'm glad you are looking forward to going back to my homeland."

"Yes, I am starting to think of your home as my home now."

He smiled, "It pleases me to know that you feel that way."

"Yes, I am it's like going back home and I know that being there would help me deal much better with what is going on in my life right now. I just hope that Lord Elrond is there so I can talk with him."

"Well my love, I hope being back helps you because I only want what is best for you and if you feel Lord Elrond will help you then I hope he will be there too. Did you mention this to the Lady of Light?'

"Yes, I did, why?"

"Then she will do her best to make sure he is there for you." I stood and wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Haldir, will you always be watching out and taking such good care of me, the way you have been doing?"

He gave me a soft smile and gently kissed my lips**.** "Shash, next to my duties for the Lord and Lady, you are the most important part of my life and don't ever forget it!"

"I will remember that**,** always."

He looked down at the papers on my desk**.** "So, tell me what are you working on?"

I reluctantly slid my arms from around his neck and returned to my seat**.** "Well they are papers that my attorney and accountant drew up for me, concerning the houses and my assets."

He looked at me a little oddly and sat there as if he were thinking about what I said, "I remember you talking about your attorney and your accountant these men, but I do not remember what they do for you. Would you please explain it to me?"

"Well Of course! My attorney is a legal advisor; in other words he helps me if anyone wants to sue me or any other legal matters concerning my clinic. He's working on the transfers of the deeds to my home to Katara and my parent's house to my Aunt. Oh and also the transfer of my clinic to Katara and Theresa. My accountant advises me on my business and personal finances. He's trying to divide my personal finances between Katara and my Aunt Cloie and then making sure the business finances are in place for Theresa when she takes over my clinic."

"And they help you with all decisions that concern you and your clinic?"

"Yes, I consult with them on everything."

"Everything in your world is so different from mine; sometimes I am amazed at how you keep everything together or as you would say, running smoothly."

I smiled, "Well thank you for that lovely compliment and believe me when I say, I am not always so organized and Katara is the one that keeps me on top of things. I am learning from her every day." During our conversation Aunt Cloie was calling me from downstairs.

"Shash, we will be eating dinner in 20 minutes we are waiting on Katara, ok?"

"Ok, no problem we will be down in a few minutes." I paused and looked back at Haldir and asked him, "Will I have time after dinner to freshen up before we leave?"

"Of course, if you would like to you can."

I heard Katara come in and Haldir and I headed downstairs, to greet her, "Hey girl how was your day?"

She took a deep breath, "Girl, it was busy and everyone is missing you so much and even your little patients are asking for you. Oh yes, before I forget here are some drawings from your patients." She handed me the drawings that my "kids" had sent me.

"WOW! These are really good and so sweet of them to do. Please tell them I said thank you and that I will return Monday."

She smiled, "Of course I will**! ** Aunt Cloie said she was fixing something special for dinner tonight. She even had me invite my friend. Do you have any idea what is going on tonight?"

I shook my head, "Nope! I don't have a clue. This is all her idea." There was a knock at the door and Katara went to answer, it was her friend William and Aunt Cloie's friend Anthony was with her also.

She soon came out the dining room, "Good evening, I am happy everyone is here**.**"

I looked at her, "So, Aunt Cloie what is all of this about?"

"You will find out soon enough, please follow me in to the dining room."

We followed her into the dining room and everything was just beautiful**.** "Aunt Cloie**,** you should have told me you were doing this," I told her. "I feel under dressed for such a beautiful place setting**!**"

She just shook her head and said, "It is fine dear.

She had set a beautiful table, there were candles and my best china and a beautiful tablecloth. And the dinner smelled wonderful. We all sat down at the table. Katara and I offered to help but she refused. She insist on doing everything herself, the meal looked and smelled delicious! We started with a Greek salad with a homemade dressing and homemade bread, which was followed by her homemade lasagna and a delicious red wine. Everything was just fantastic, during the meal Aunt Cloie stood to talk.

"I know everyone is wondering why I have asked you here this evening**. **It has dawned on me that we had not given Haldir and Shashuwan an engagement party**,** so I thought it would be nice if they had an engagement dinner."

I looked at her in shock but everyone else was applauding. I didn't know what to say**.** "Katara, you said you had no idea what was going on?"

"Sorry, I had to lie to you, but I promised her I would not say anything about it."

"Aunt Cloie, you didn't have to do this for us, you really didn't." She walked to where I sat and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

"I wanted to do this! You and Haldir deserve this more than any other couple that I know, so just enjoy."

When we finished our meal, Katara and Aunt C cleared the table, I started to get up and help but Aunt C said "No, we are not finished so just have a seat."

Before long Aunt Cloie came in with a cake, it was a three layer yellow cake with white icing and green leaves around the cake and on top it said, "Happy Engagement Haldir and Shashuwan" Aunt Cloie came back from the kitchen and behind her was Katara and John with a number of boxes in their arms. They set everything on the table and asked Haldir and I to cut the cake. We did the honors and sat down to enjoy our desert with everyone else. After a while Katara and Aunt Cloie stood side by side.

"Shash, you and I have been friends since first grade, matter of fact we never consider ourselves friends, but sisters. Aunt Cloie and I have been wondering exactly what to get the two of you for an engagement gift from the two of us. We knew it should not be modern, but we hope that the two of you will enjoy it for years to come."

`Haldir and stood and walked to the end of the table where we started opening the huge box. Inside was an eight piece silver place setting in the other two boxes was a silver serving platter and silverware.

I stood there in amazement, "You two should not have done this it is all so beautiful and where did you find it?"

"It took some time but Katara and I did not give up. We just knew that the two of you would love it." Aunt Cloie said.

Haldir turned to both of them, "It is beautiful, we will take them back with us tonight."

I had not noticed but Katara had left the room and rushed right back in, "Haldir, Shash had told me about your wedding ceremony I bought this and I hope you can use these in your ceremony." She handed the box to Haldir and he opened it and what was inside was exquisite, it was pair of Celtic wine flute glasses."

Haldir gave Katara a huge hug, "Katara, we will be honored to use them during our ceremony and we will cherish them always, thank you."

"Haldir I am so happy that you like them, I hoped you would and Shash only told me what you allowed her to, ok?"

He looked at me and smiled, "I was not worried."

"And Shash before you ask you may take them with you." Said, Aunt Cloie

"Shash, if you wanted to freshen up before we leave you should do it now, we will be." Haldir said with a smile.

"Before I go, I want to say thank you to everyone for a lovely evening and the surprise engagement dinner, Aunt Cloie and Katara." I gave them a quick hug and went upstairs to bathe and change. When I returned Katara and Aunt Cloie's friends had left and it was not long before it was time for Haldir and I to leave.

Haldir went upstairs to change and I put on my brown furry boots and my matching winter coat, "Well ladies, I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me, I would have never gotten through this without your love and support and I really love you guys."

Katara put her hand up to stop me, "Shash, stop you don't have to thank us for anything, we have always been there for each other and that will never change, ok?"

"You know you are right, that will never change."

Haldir, returned from upstairs, "Shash, it is time for us to go, Aunt Cloie and Katara again thank you for everything."

Katara gave Haldir a big hug and he did the same, "Haldir maybe one day you will call me your little sister?"

He smiled, "It will be my honor to call you my little sister, Katara."

"Shash, it is time for us to leave can you carry the smaller two boxes and I will get the other?"

"Sure, I can." Haldir lifted the box like it was nothing and I got the smaller ones. "Ladies I will see you Sunday early evening and if my attorney or accountant should…

"Okay, okay!" Katara said shaking her head, "Girl, if you don't leave I will push you out the door. Now take, your satchel, where is it?" She was literally pushing out the patio door.

I said, "Haldir has it."

Haldir and I turned and said goodbye one more time and walked across the backyard and into the forest, we walked for about a thirty minutes before he stopped and put the box down, "Shash, you need to rest for a bit. Please sit."

"Haldir, I am fine really."

"My love you are tired and your back is in pain, I can feel it. So, please sit for a short while." I did as he asked because he was telling the truth. It did hurt, the further we trudged along. Sometimes it hurt to breathe.

He knelt in front of me and placed his hand on my cheek, "Are you warm enough?"

I gave him a little smile, "Yes, I am, but my back does hurt."

He smiled, "Shash, can you travel a little further?"

"Yes, I can."

He helped me up I went to pick up the two smaller boxes and he said, "No, I will carry all of them are you sure you can go a little further?"

"Yes, I can do this just slow down a little, ok?"

"Of course, I will."

We walked a little further and I smelled the change in the air and I knew it was time for us to cross over.

When we crossed over I felt like this dark cloud that was hanging over me**,** was no longer there. A gentle cold breeze and beautiful snowflakes filled the air. I stood there taking it all in. I didn't even hear Haldir calling my name.

"Shash… Shashuwan are you ready to go?"

"Yes, Haldir, I am sorry. Did you say something?" When I looked towards him there were two other elves on horseback and he had given them our boxes. Then out of nowhere I had a horrible, gripping muscle spasm in my back! It was so strong, I could not breathe! Haldir quickly came to my side.

"Shash, what is wrong!?" He wrapped his arm around my waist and I put my hand in his and held on to it tightly.

"Oh God, it's a muscle spasm in my back!" I gasped. Please, just give me a minute, ok?" I tried to take those calming breathes they always tell pregnant women about.

The muscles in my back finally relaxed some and so did I. "Haldir, I need to lie down please."

"Shash, can you ride?"

"Yes…I guess I can, as long as I don't have another spasm."

He walked me over to the horse and helped me up and he mounted behind me, "Shash, you are tensing up again." I nodded yes, he gently turned my face to meet his, "Shash, I need for you to close your eyes and concentrate on my voice, I am going to help you relax so you can ride." I briefly nodded yes, I closed my tear-filled eyes and he placed his hands on either side of my face and chanted something in his native tongue. It was almost like I heard him from a distance. His voice was so soothing that I slowing slipped off into a deep sleep and that is all I remembered for some time.

When I awoke I was in my room in Lorien. It felt as if it was late evening and Haldir was right there watching over me. I started to get up, "No, Shash," Haldir stopped me. "Lay down please. Do you need anything?"

"Just some water please." He poured me a cup of cool water and raised my head so I could drink it. I could tell by the look in his face that he was really worried about me; he placed the cup back on table.

"How is your back?"

"It hurts a little, Haldir don't worry, I will be fine."

"I should have waited until you were better, please forgive me."

"Forgive you for what? Theresa said that I could travel and I felt better so you are not to blame, ok?"

Just then the muscles in my back were tensing up like they were twisting and this time I actually cried out in pain and he called for Lyndia and sent her to get Saelanu the healer. I was trying to control my breathing but I couldn't. The tears streamed down my face as Haldir gently wiped them away. Finally Lyndia returned with Saelanu.

"Marchwarden, please tell me what happened to cause her this much pain, please?" Saelanu asked.

Haldir explained to him what had happened and he was gently rubbing my back. Afterwards Saelanu went to his bag to retrieve some herbs and prepared a tea for me, when he finished he brought it to me.

"Lady Shashuwan, I have prepared a very strong tea that will make you sleep very deep and when you wake you will no longer have this pain in your back."

I was so tired and my back hurt so bad I could barely answer him, "Yes, I understand."

He handed the tea to Haldir, so could help me drink it he gently lifted my head, "Shash, this tea will taste bitter, but I want you to drink all of it, please?"

I looked at him and smiled, Yes, I will." He put the cup to my lips and I drank it when I finished he laid my head down.

He gently kissed my forehead, "Now I want you to close your eyes and sleep. I will be right here all night I will not leave you."

"Thank you Haldir." Then I slipped off into a deep sleep under his watchful eye."

.


	17. Chapter 17

**When I first started writing this fic, the name of it was "My Endless Love" and it was not the best matter of fact it was the worst. I was looking for a BETA and I ran across MaryKay, she is a life saver and she has helped me in so many ways. **

**She showed me where my writing needed to improve and she showed me how to pull the reader in to my character's world. She has even been there for me through some personal things in my life and I know for a fact that I could not have done this without her help.**

**So, I want to take this time and say thank you to MaryKay (My Beta) for all her help and support.**

**~Chapter 17~**

When I woke, Haldir was preparing for his day, "Shash, how are you this morning?"

I smiled, "I am feeling much better thank you for asking."

He kissed me. "I am happy that you are faring well, I was worried about you last night."

"Did you sleep at all or did you keep watch over me all night long?"

He smiled and gave me that you know what I did look, "Haldir, you should have slept."

"Shash, I will rest later, I promise."

"Ok, but where are you off to this morning?"

"I have to talk with Lord Celeborn and my captains. It is very important but I will return to have lunch with you, ok?

I laughed, "Hmmmm, sounds like a business meeting to me."

"You are right but I should return by noon and I have put some more wood on the fire for you. Lyndia will be here with your breakfast and Shash, I want you to relax and heal after your ordeal, ok?

I saluted him. "Yes sir, Marchwarden, I will do as you command."

He laughed, "Well, stay at your post and be alert." He gave me a hug and kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you, Shash."

"I love you, too Marchwarden." He left my room and I could still feel his presence even after he has left. I got out of bed and did not have one dizzy spell**. ** I felt stronger and more alive. I went to the bathroom to freshen up and I walked around the room remembering everything that happened. The first time I saw Haldir to when I took care of him to our last night together. They are all lovely memories and I will never forget them as long as I live. I went back to the balcony doors and looked out over Lothlorien, there is not one place where I am from that can come close to the wonder of Lorien. All the lanterns that are lit look as lovely as the stars in the sky and their music is soothing in more ways than one.

"Shashuwan, Shashuwan didn't you hear me calling you?" Lyndia asked as she placed the tray on the table.

I turned to greet her, "Lyndia, I'm sorry. I was lost in thought! I missed you so much**.**" I gave her a hug and she did the same. "I could not wait to see you how have you been?"

"I am fine, I was very worried about you, come sit by the fire and drink your tea."

We sat at the table and had our tea and talked, "Shashuwan, you don't have to tell me what happened unless you want to because I know that Lord Elrond is here to hold counsel with you but please know that I am here for you also."

"Lyndia, I have been through a lot, the incident with James was horrifying! It was not the James I knew at all. He even killed my most cherished pet, Nanuke. Nanuke was grey and white Siberian husky he loved James. But that did not seem to matter at all, he just…killed him with no regret at all, he even smiled when he told me. Lyndia, he accused me of not loving him, not giving him a chance but I did love him – but as a brother nothing more." I tried to hold back the tears but I could not, not when it came to my Nanuke.

"Shashuwan, that was not love, he was obsessed with you beyond being a brother. I don't know why mortal men do what they do and I wish I had an answer for you but I do not, I am sorry. But I must tell you that I am grateful to the Marchwarden and his brothers for keeping you safe."

"Lyndia, right before they arrived, I knew I was going to die. I felt it but within a blink of an eye, Haldir was there and snatched James off me. I never knew what kind of a warrior he was until that moment. I felt as if I had fallen in love with him all over again."

She smiled, "Now that is love, which Haldir has for you and no one else."

I sat there drinking my tea but the thoughts of what happened to me were setting my nerves on edge, setting her cup of tea aside and gently taking my hands in hers, "Shash, close your eyes and take two deep cleansing breaths and slowly breathe out." I did as she asked, "Shash, we can sit here and try to figure out why he did it and why he felt the way he did but I refuse to let it continue to make you upset and haunt you."

"Lyndia that is why I am here I am haunted by what happened**,** but being here in Lothlorien will help a lot."

She smiled, "It seems that was going to happen regardless because Haldir has already informed everyone that you are to relax and not to be disturbed. But I know exactly what you need."

I looked at her oddly, "So how should this begin?"

"You would need to take a change of clothes, put your slippers on and follow me." I picked something out to wear, Lyndia had my other things. We left my room and I followed her down the hall and a long flight of stairs and through double doors. Inside it reminded me of a spa almost there were three cushioned chaises surrounding a hot bath and there was a light scent of lavender in the air which made it very relaxing.

"Lyndia this is beautiful I had no idea that this was here, whose ideawas this?"

She smiled, "Haldir. He thought you would like it. Afterwards the two of you will have lunch in your room, so get undressed and enjoy."

I did as she said and enjoyed my private spa time. I relaxed and let my mind go totally blank which is something I have not done in quite a while all I could think about was our wedding and other things.

"Shash, are you sleeping?" A soft voice interrupted my reverie, it was Lyndia.

"No, just thinking about our wedding ceremony, why?"

"Good, I have been working on your gown and I need for you to try it on to make sure it fits right." I opened my eyes in shock.

"You have finished it all ready?"

"Of course, Lady Galadriel told me that your gown was to be perfect, so I have worked on it every day."

"My wedding dress is finished? I can't wait to see it! Can I see it now?" I asked eagerly.

She laughed, "Later after your lunch with Haldir and you know how he gets if he has to wait."

She handed me two towels as I got out of my soothing spa and wrapped it around me and the other around my hair. She was staring at me oddly.

"Humm, is there something wrong Lyndia?"

"No, well I hope not, I was just looking at you and I hope the dress fits."

"What? What do you mean? Did I put on weight?"

She smiled, "No, your gown is form fitting from your breast just above your hips but you have to admit, you are built differently from any elleth in Lothlorien, you are fuller."

I looked at her a little worried, "I know, I am but there is nothing I can do about that, where I come from men adore fuller hips, thighs and breast."

She shook her head and smiled, "I have watched the Marchwarden when you enter a room, sometimes he can not take his eyes off you."

We both laughed, "Well Lyndia, I would just call it love."

"If you say so, I have not seen him like this in quite a while and I am very happy for both of you." I applied my lotion and got dressed. I picked a dark blue with long white sleeves and delicate design around the collar of the dress it was elegant. She also gave me a pair of dark blue slippers.

"Shash, we have to go they will bring the lunch to your room soon and you have to be there, when it comes, to make sure it is what he wanted."

"But he did not tell me what he wanted so how would I know?" We had left the cleansing room and we were on our way back to my room.

"I am sure you know what Haldir's likes and dislikes by now, right?"

"Well yes, I do but…"

"Don't worry you will be fine." I was busy trying to dry my hair with a towel and hurry down the hall at the same time. We reached my room and I quickly made my bed pulled the table from against the wall and closer to the balcony doors, Lyndia had given me a table cloth. Before long there was a knock at the door, I asked them to come in. There were three maidens that came in with our meal. They were talking but in their tongue and Lyndia translated for me.

"Shash, they have prepared your lunch and would like for you to make sure it is what the Marchwarden wanted."

I asked them to uncover the plates; they had prepared fish, with carrots and tomatoes, bread and wine.

"Tell them it is perfect and to please place it on the table." They did as I asked, I thanked them and they left.

"Shashuwan, go fix your hair he will be here soon and I have to leave. Enjoy your lunch and send for me if you need anything,"

"Thank you Lyndia." She left, closing the door behind her and I hurried to the bathroom to check my hair before long there was a knock at the door and hurried to answer it.

I opened the door, "Good afternoon my love, how are you?" He came in and slipped his arm around my waist and closing the door with the other, pulled me close and kissed me. But it was different. I didn't say anything, I led him over to the table so we could eat, I prepared his plate and poured him a glass of wine.

I couldn't stand it anymore so I asked, "Haldir, what is wrong?"

He looked up at me, "I have a lot on my mind, I will tell you after lunch and I have not rested yet."

I smiled, "Would you like to rest after lunch?"

"I would like that but after we talk… and Shash, you look beautiful."

"Thank you for my private spa this morning."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, I did, it was the best." He ate his lunch and drank his wine but he still seemed distracted. "Haldir, please tell me what is lying so heavy on your mind."

He took a deep breath, "Shash do you remember when I left to go fight at the northern border?"

"Yes, I do but why are you bringing this up now?"

"They are headed this way, they should be here late this evening."

I sat there in shock and all I could think of is that these people tried to kill him once, "Why are they returning?"

"I do not know why but we have to be ready for anything." He held out his hand which meant for me to sit on his lap.

"Haldir, I know I should not worry, but I do. Please be careful."

"Shash, I will return to you, I promise."

"I know you will and I know I should not worry but that is just natural when you love someone, since you are going into battle you need your rest."

He smiled, "Will you lay with me?"

"Of course, I will but finish your wine and I will call for Lyndia to remove the dishes**.**" I went to the door and asked for Lyndia.

She soon returned with a maiden to clear the dishes, "Shashuwan, would you need anything else?"

"No but please leave the wine and glasses, Haldir is going to lie down and rest for a while. Could you ask that we not be disturbed unless it is one of his men?"

"I will let them know, would you need anything else?"

"No, we will not." She left and I went over to where he stood.

"Haldir, come sit down so I can remove your boots, you need your rest." He had already placed his cloak and arsenal on the table; he walked over towards the bed and sat down. I removed his boots for him.

"Now get in bed and I will be there soon."

I went to the door and asked for Lyndia. A few minutes later she arrived.

"Lyndia, can you bring the dress when he leaves this evening?"

"Of course I can."

"Thank you, Lyndia." She left and I closed the door behind her.

I slipped in bed next to Haldir; he rolled over on his back "I thought you were sleep."

"No, I was waiting for you."

I lay in his arms and listened to his breathing as it slowed and all I heard was a soft snore from my love. I eventually went to sleep, I dreamed of Haldir fighting and I kept seeing the dagger being thrown and hitting Haldir in his shoulder. I just wish I could have seen the person who threw it. I could no longer sleep, so I got up and dressed. After I had dressed I noticed that Haldir's swords and daggers were displayed on the table. They were beautiful. I have never seen anything like them before and his bow was a piece of art. The detailed carving was something I had never seen before, aside from my father's weapons. I had not noticed that he was watching me.

"Shash, do you like them?" I almost dropped his bow when he said my name.

"Haldir, I had no idea that you were awake, I hope you don't mind me touching your bow and swords." He sat up and put on his leggings and the shirt he wore under his tunic, he walked over to the table sat down on put on his boots then his tunic.

"Will you come and see me off?"

"Of course I will."

I stood there watching his every move, "Shash, you are staring is there something wrong?"

"No, no nothing is wrong I am just watching you, I have never seen you prepare to fight and do the whole Marchwarden thing."

He smiled and shook his head, "The whole Marchwarden thing, Shash?"

I laughed, "Well you know what I mean, this is all new to me and watching you is the best way for me to learn more about you."

There was a knock at the door and I went to answer it, "Haldir, it is for you, one of your men." He went to the door to talk to him and returned. He grabbed my cloak and helped me put it on.

"It is time. Come with me." We made our way down the hall, then the stairs where we stopped at the door.

He turned to me, "Are you warm enough?" he asked, as he gently pulled my cloak around me and pulled my hood up on my head.

"Haldir, I am fine stop fussing over me, ok?"

He kissed me and opened the door, we stepped out and continued down the outside stairs and without thinking I looked to my left and what I saw shocked me. I saw maybe 35 or 40 elves lined up and waiting.

"Haldir, are they all under your command?"

He looked shocked when I asked him that, "Shash, I told you of what I do, did you not believe me?"

"Certainly I do, but to actually see them… I am just amazed." He gently placed his arm around me and we continued down the spiral staircase.

His troop stood at attention when we reached the landing, an elf approached us**.** "Marchwarden, it is good to see you again."

They clasped arms, "Glorfindel, I did not know you would be joining us."

"Well I was with Lord Elrond and they informed me of the situation and I thought I would help, that is if you would let me?"

Haldir placed his hand on Glorfindels shoulder, "You are always welcome my friend."

Glorfindel turned his attention to me, "Marchwarden, who is this lovely woman at your side?"

Haldir placed his arm around me "Glorfindel, I would like for you to meet my wife to be Shashuwan."

He inclined his head, "Lady Shashuwan, it is a pleasure to meet you. Haldir she has a rare beauty."

I inclined my head, "Glorfindel I am happy to meet you and thank you for the lovely compliment."

"Haldir, I did not think there was a woman out there who would marry you," he jokingly said.

"Glorfindel, my friend I am happy, but we must be on our way."

He talked to his men and turned his attention to me, "Shash, do not worry I will return to you soon."

I hugged him, "I know you will, I love you."

He mounted his horse gave a smile and left quickly his troop rode off behind him.

I turned to leave but Lyndia stopped me, "Shash, Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond would like to speak with you in the Ladies study."

"Ok, thank you."

"Shash, are you all right? You seem troubled."

"I am concerned for Haldir; I just pray that he returns to me soon and not injured."

"He will be fine. Now come, they are waiting for you."

"Lyndia, could you take my cloak to my room for me, I know my way. Thank you."

I went to Lady Galadriel's study and I let myself in, I saw their welcoming faces. "Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond, it is so nice to see both of you." I gave them both a hug.

I sat at the table across from both of them, Lady Galadriel reached across the table and placed her hand on mine, "My daughter, we were so worried about you when Haldir informed us that he had to return to you with such urgency. He was filled with such rage and worry for you. But I am happy that he was there to protect you."

I smiled, "I thought I was going to die, all I could think about was never being with Haldir again but he came and saved my life. I will never forget that as long as I live."

"Believe me my daughter, nothing or no one could have stopped him or his brothers from being by your side," she assured me.

"I know that and I am very happy to have such protective brothers and a loving husband to be. I am blessed."

She nodded in agreement, "That is true, Rumil and Orophin told me of your home and what they experienced. They seemed to have enjoyed themselves."

"Yes, they did and I enjoyed having them there."

"Shashuwan, I know you have questions for Lord Elrond and myself."

"Yes, I do but my first question is for you Naneth, why is it that I have been able to read the thoughts of other people all these years but not to heal myself?"

"Your elf side has always been a part of you but it was not fully awakened until you were here amongst your kind."

"My kind, so Haldir was right."

"He had already told you this but yet you still ask me?"

"Yes, I did, I should not have doubted him."

"It is alright, sometimes we need confirmation of what we already know and now I will leave you with Lord Elrond." I stood and quickly gave her a hug.

"Nana, thank you for everything and I promise I will never doubt him again."

"I know you will not." She left Lord Elrond and I alone.

I walked over to the window to look out**.** "Lord Elrond, so much has happened in my life and I have changed so much, sometime I do not recognize my own body anymore. Even when I look in the mirror I see me but sometimes it does not look like me." I shook my head in frustration, "I know it may sound like I am not making any sense but it is just the way I feel."

"Lady Shashuwan…"

"Lord Elrond, please call me Shashuwan."

"As you wish, Shashuwan, there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling, because of everything you have been through; it is a lot for anyone elf or mortal to come to terms with. But with your strength, conviction and love, you have come through it stronger."

I smiled, "Lord Elrond, do I have the same choice as you did?"

He smiled, "You would like to be immortal as I?"

"Yes, I would. Is this possible?"

"If this is what you have chosen then it will be. This will take place when you have returned."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you Lord Elrond, I did not think it would be possible."

"Lady Galadriel and I would have to speak with the Valar, the Valar would have to agree as one for this to happen, that is why it is best to wait till you return."

I sat across from Lord Elrond, "Shashuwan, you seemed troubled, what is wrong?"

"I am haunted by many things."

"What is haunting you?"

"Thoughts of James trying to kill me and I have had dreams of Haldir fighting and someone trying to kill him."

He placed my hands in his, "Shashuwan, these are just images that have impacted your life and they will soon fade but it will take time, so please do not worry about these images but you should talk to Haldir about what is haunting you. He will be your husband and you should have counsel with him."

I felt a calm over me, "Lord Elrond, thank you for everything and I know that I should be talking to Haldir about this but I just felt the need to talk with you, I know you are very busy but I want to thank you for taking the time to listen to me."

He stood, "Shashuwan, anytime you need to talk to me is fine."

"Thank you."

"Shashuwan, would you like to help us in the healing room?"

"Well of course I would love to, thank you."

He was a little hesitant, "I will, but with Haldir approval. He informed everyone that you are to relax and we would not go against what he says."

I smiled, "I know what he said and I will abide by it but if I am needed please don't hesitate to ask. But I do have to return to my room and try on my wedding gown."

He smiled, "Please do not let me stop you from that, Shashuwan."

I left the study feeling much better now that I had the chance to talk to him. I returned to my room and Lyndia was there waiting on me.

"Shash, how are you fairing since Haldir left?"

"Well Lyndia, on one hand I am scared for him, but on the other hand I am so proud of him. Until today I knew what he did but to actually see his elves waiting on their leader, their Marchwarden, the elf that I am in love with, it was overwhelming. So I have a lot of mixed feelings right now."

"I understand, I went through the exact same thing and I am sorry to tell you it does not get any easier but if you need to talk, I am here for you."

"Thank you, Lyndia**.** It makes it easier just knowing someone else understands how I am feeling… So, can I see my wedding dress now, please?"

Lyndia went behind the dressing screen and brought out the most beautiful dress I had ever seen, it was white silk material, strapless, the sleeves went past my hands and the bodice part was cut to fit with little clear gemstones stitched in and it flared out towards the bottom, but the back of the dress laced down the back. It was truly exquisite, and to top it off there was a white cloak with a hood that was also made of silk.

"Lyndia it is beautiful! How did you know that this is what I wanted? And the back of it… I don't know what to say but thank you! Thank you for all your hard work!" I could not take my eyes off my dress.

"Well do not thank me yet. I need for you to try it on so I can make sure it fits right. Let's go," she motioned towards the screen, "try it on, hurry along now."

I went behind the screen and put it on and returned to Lyndia, "Can you lace it up for me?"

She did, it fit so well that there was no need for me to wear a bra! I mean it really lifted me in the front more than what I am use to, but damn, I looked good. I turned and looked at the back in the mirror, it laced all the way up and tied off in a bow at the top, the ends hung down the length of the gown.

I turned and looked at Lyndia, "Lyndia, this is the most beautiful wedding dress I have ever seen in my life and to think it is mine! I gave her a hug and thanked her again.

"It fits you perfectly, Shash!" she assured me as she looked at me again. "But, we know that all that really matters is that Haldir will love this gown on you, which he will. Now get undressed so I can make a few adjustments and put it away until your special day." I did as she asked**.**

"Shash will you be helping in the healing room this evening?"

"Yes, I will if they need me."

"But until then I think I will lie down and read my book for a while**. **If they do need me, please just let me know." I almost reluctantly took off my wedding dress and gave it back to Lyndia. I put on a grey dress that was nice, but it seems very plain by comparison.

"Shash, would you need anything else?"

"No, like I said, I will read my book and go to sleep." She left**. ** I read for about an hour and started to drift off to sleep, until I heard Haldir in my dream.

"_My love, how are you?"_

"_I am fine, Haldir, how are things where you are?"_

"_They are quiet for now, but they are close."_

"_Haldir, please take care and return to me."_

_I felt his smile surround me, "Shash, stop, I will return."_

"_I will try but I can not promise you anything, I love you."_

"_I love you."_

I slept a warm deep sleep till Lyndia awaked me, "Shashuwan, Shashuwan you are needed in the healing room."

I awoke groggy of course, "What did you say?"

"I was sent to ask you to come to the healing room."

I sat up not fully awakened, "They want me in the healing room?"

"Yes, so please hurry, they need your help." I hurried and pulled my hair back in a ponytail and followed Lyndia to the healing room.

When we arrived in the healing room Saelanu and Lord Elrond approached me, they both inclined his head, "Lady Shashuwan, I am happy that you could come, Lyndia I need for you to stay and assist her." Saelanu instructed me.

"Of course Saelanu, I will assist in any way I can." Lyndia responded. Saelanu directed me towards four elves that had just come in from battle. Lyndia and I quickly assessed their injuries and went to work. Although I was very busy attending to my patients, my thoughts were always on Haldir. I hoped that he would return to me soon**,** but I knew for a fact that I would not see him till later today. Lyndia and I attended to the injured until late in the afternoon, that is when we were able to sit and rest for a while.

"Lyndia, I have not worked that hard in quite a while, I would have to admit."

"Shashuwan, I have to admit the same, but then taking care of Haldir and his brothers it is much the same."

I laughed aloud, "I can only imagine."

Lyndia looked very concerned about something, "Lyndia what is wrong?"

"I am concerned about Haldir's reaction when he finds out that you were helping in the healing room, he will be very upset with Saelanu, Lord Elrond and especially you."

I took a deep breath, "Lyndia do not worry, I will handle this with Haldir there is no other reason for anyone else to suffer through his anger."

As we sat there talking we heard a commotion as a tight group of men entering the room. We went to find out what was going on, we saw Haldir and Finrod assisting someone followed by Lord Elrond's sons. They quickly laid someone upon a bed, I still did not know whom, I was just grateful it was not my love.

I quickly ran to his side, "Haldir, what is wrong? Who is so badly injured?"

"It is Glorfindel, he is seriously injured and we fear he may die."

"What? Die? But what is wrong with him?" I went to Saelanus side while he was examining him and I quickly saw what was wrong.

Saelanu looked at me with despair in his eyes, "He will not survive this."

I looked at him in shock, "Die? Why would he, Saelanu?" I immediately started to exam him, he could not breathe and he was coughing up blood. He was obviously experiencing severe pain on right side and there was dark bruise already forming there. I knew what was wrong with him and I knew I could help him.

I turned to them, "I can help him, will you let me help him, please?! Saelanu, I know what is wrong. He has a punctured lung and he is bleeding in his lungs, I have had cases like this before, I can save him!"

Lord Elrond looked at Saelanu and he immediately spoke up, "Saelanu let her. If we don't we will lose him again and that I do not want to happen."

I immediately went to work, I asked for two big empty bowls, a hollow tube, alcohol and supplies to stitch with. I quickly cut off the remains of his tunic and shirt he had on underneath. I moved his right arm up and started feeling for a place to make an incision. I found it, asked for a knife made a slit between to ribs and inserted the tube to relieve the pressure in his lungs as soon as it was inserted blood came through and into the bowl, I had no tape so I had to hold it in place. Nobody moved. Their eyes stayed on me and what I was doing. I asked Lyndia to remove the first bowl and replaced it with the other. The blood slowed and his breathing leveled out and his respiration slowed down. This went on for two hours before I could safely remove the tube, I gently moved the rib back in place and stitch up the incision I made**,** inside and out.

"Glorfindel, do you hear me? It is Shashuwan. How do you feel now?"

He slowly opened his eyes and talked in a whisper, "_I feel better, I can breathe now but right side is still in pain."_

"Glorfindel, I have moved the rib back in place but the cut your lung has to be taken care of still. But before that happens they are going to put in a deep sleep, so please do as they ask." He nodded yes; I stepped away because what they were using was too strong for me to be near. I walked over to the table to sit down, but first I scrubbed the blood from my hands, arms and even under my nails. I was more than willing to sit down and waitfor their medicine to take effect.

The others had followed me, I looked up at Haldir and noticed that he had a cut on his arm, "Haldir, I am sorry I didn't even notice that you were injured. "

I saw the look of disappointment in his face, "I am fine it is just a scratch, I need for you to sit and rest." I nodded yes. Lord Elrond, his sons and Saelanu came over to where I sat.

"Shashuwan, how did you know what was wrong without examining him and where did you learn that?" Lord Elrond asked me.

Haldir walked behind me and massaged my shoulder, back and neck**. ** "Lord Elrond you remember when I talked about attending school, that is where I learned everything and when I was working in the emergency room at the hospital. I knew what was wrong by the way he was breathing and all the frothy blood he was coughing up. He was unable to get air in his lungs, so I knew what to do."

"I had never seen that done before."

Saelanu informed me about our patient, "Glorfindel is sleeping soundly and you can proceed when you are ready, but if you would like I would be more than happy to take over for you. As I went to rise, I had another back spasm only this time it was really bad, it stopped me in my footsteps.

"Oh my god, not now please!" Haldir quickly came and placed his arm around my waist. I was trying to breathe but I could not**.** I heard Lord Elrond's voice, "Saelanu, you will have to finish what she started, Haldir take her to her room immediately. Lyndia go and prepare her a hot bath to help relax her muscles, we will bring something to help ease her back."

Haldir, started to leave with me but I could not move it seemed like every muscle in my back was a huge ball of knots**. ** I could not move. He lifted me in his arms and carried me to my room. He did not say one word but I knew what he was thinking.

"Haldir, I was not there long at all**,** but I did save Glorfindels life."

"How is your back, are you feeling any better?"

"No it does not but I don't under… never mind, I just need to lie down and I will be fine."

I was back in my room and he gently laid me on the bed, he took off my shoes, "Haldir, will you talk to me please? I know you are upset with me."

He still said nothing, he glanced at me and shook his head, "Shash, I did not want you to be in the healing room, I told you that but still you went, why!?"

I was taken aback by what he said, "Haldir, I am a doctor and here I am a healer**. ** I took that oath to help people where ever I am and I did save your friend's life. Aren't you happy for that?"

He took a deep breath, "Shash, I am happy for everything you did for him and it is because of you that he is still with us. I just want you to think about you for a while can you do that for me?"

"I do think about me," I could tell he was upset with me and then I realized we were having our first argument, I held my breath and struggled to sit up because he was going to hear what I had to say, "Haldir, I need you to sit down and listen to me, I am a doctor, I took the oath to help people where ever I am at or needed, why would you want me to not assist when I can help?"

He looked at me and I could tell he was upset, "Because you are my first concern as you will be my…."

"All right stop right there, yes I will be your wife but I would not stop you from being the "Marchwarden" for Lothlorien, nor would I ever ask you not to attend to your duties or what the "Lady of Light" ask of you, would I?" He just looked at me and turned away, "No, I would never ask that of you because it is your duty, so why would you ask me not to do my duty? What makes yours any greater than mine, Haldir?" I did not mean to be so stern with him but I had to and it was aside of me that he has not encountered before.

I gently placed my hand on his cheek to turn his face so he would look at me, "My love, I will honor everything that you ask of me but please do not ask me not to do my duty when asked, please? I am not saying that I will be working side by side with Saelanu when I return because I have something else I need to do and that is to make you a priority in my life and to be your wife, nothing comes before that, ok?"

He smiled, "I understand my love and I am just concerned about you considering all that you have been through, so please lie down and rest, I promise that I will never keep you from your duties and I will support you the way you have supported me."

I did as he asked, "Well it seems we have survived our first argument, right?"

He shook his head with a grin upon his face, "Yes we have and I have experienced the fighter in my love."

"Yes, this is the Shashuwan that had gotten me through many trials and hard times, I lost that side of me when James did what he did but that is the past now, I am only looking forward to our future."

There was a knock at the Haldir went to answer it, "Lyndia, where are Lord Elrond and Saelanu, I thought they would be here by now?"

"I was sent to start the hot bath for Shash, Saelanu will be here to assist with the other treatment."

"Thank you, Lyndia just let me know if I am needed for anything." They quickly came in with pails of steaming water and filled my bath. I lay on my side while Haldir gently rubbed my back trying to help me to relax.

"Shashuwan, your bath is ready."

"Thank you, Lyndia, I am coming."

I tried to sit up but I could not**. ** Haldir, without asking, lifted me in his arms and carried me in the bathroom and placed me on the stool next to the tub.

I sat there bracing myself against bath tub, Lyndia started to undress me.

"Lyndia, I will be in the bedroom if you need me." She nodded yes and he left.

She helped me with my clothes and I did attempt to get into the tub but I could not, she told me to wrap my towel around me while she got Haldir. He had so much concern in his eyes; he rolled up his sleeves, lifted me and placed me in the tub.

"Shash, I will leave you for now but will return when Saelanu is ready for you."

"Thank you." I lay back in the tub and tried to relax, I even managed to nap a little which I really needed. When I closed my eyes, I once again saw Haldir in battle but this time he was different in some way or maybe it was me, all I know is that I was not frightened this time because I knew he would return to me. I heard a soft knocking on my door.

"Come in." I didn't have to ask who it was because I already knew.

Haldir peeked around the door, "May I come in? I just wanted to check on you."

"Sure just one minute," I grabbed an extra towel and put it over me while I was in the tub. "You can come in now."

"You can sit next to the tub, I am covered up."

"Lyndia told me that Saelanu will be here soon, so you may what to hurry along with your bath, she also left a gown on your bed."

I smiled, "Could you get it for me, please?" He left the bathroom and I was able to step out the tub on my own and when he returned I was standing there with nothing but a towel wrapped around me, he walked in and just stood there looking at me.

"Haldir, are you alright?" He walked towards me and handed me, my gown and we never lost eye contact.

He took a deep breath and placed his hand upon my bare shoulder, he gently pulled me in his arms, kissing me passionately. He picked me up in his arms took me to my bedroom and laid me upon my bed, I was still holding my towel up against me. He took off his shirt returning his attention to me, he kissed me on my neck bracing himself with his right and with his left he pulled down my towel from the front of me and laid prone on me, when our bare skin touched it was like fire. He kissed me and I feverishly returned not wanting to stop, he quickly kissed my neck and I gave in to him even more. My hands moved down his back to his perfect butt and I grinded my hips against him, but I let out a wince of pain and immediately he picked up on it and stopped. "Shash, I am sorry, I lost myself." He sat up and I pulled my towel up to cover myself while he caressed my face. We were both breathing deeply trying to settle down. "Shash, please forgive me, but I wanted to… I needed to feel your body against mine with no barriers. I had to know what that fire felt like, I did not mean to cause you pain, do you forgive me?"

I sat up and placed my legs on his lap, I looked deeply in his eyes, "My love you have nothing to be forgiven for, we have lain together many a night but we have never lain together as we just did. I too had wondered what your body felt like against mine." I said with a smile. "I wonder if part of it might have to do with being so close between the barrier of life and death with you and your men."

"Perhaps," he admitted with a slight nod of his head. "When I walked in and you were standing there, I do not know what came over me, I had to know."

I took his hand in mine and kissed it, "It is ok, we did nothing wrong and I am sure the Naneth knows that and if not she will ask."

He caressed my face leaned in and kissed me, he pulled back and whispered in my ear, "_I have dreamed often about our first night and it will be beautiful_."

I closed my eyes, whispering in his ear, "_I know, I have dreamed of it also_."

"You should put your gown on they will be here soon." He went to the bathroom and returned with my gown. He turned his back as I put my gown on and he his tunic, I went to the bathroom and splashed some cool water on my face so I would not look so flushed, I put my robe and returned, Haldir was staring out the balcony doors and walked up behind putting my arms around him.

"Haldir, so how often have you dreamed about our first night together?"

"As many times as you have, my love." I stepped back and when I did he quickly turned around, "Shash are you are alright?"

"I am just tired; I need to lie down, ok?" I walked over towards the bed and there was a knock at the door, Haldir went and answered it.

It was Lyndia and Saelanu, "Marchwarden, I have come to help Shashuwan and Lyndia is here to assist me."

"What is this treatment, Saelanu?" Haldir asked.

Saelanu quickly answered, "We will be using this oil with herbs for deep healing and we will put her in a very deep sleep, we do not what to cause her any undo pain, there will be a little bit of a burning sensation and nothing else."

I saw the look he gave Saelanu, "Saelanu, I want her in no pain she has been through too much already."

"Marchwarden, I will do my best." He inclined his head and went to the table to prepare his herbs, Lyndia followed.

Haldir returned to me where I lay on my side, "Shash is the pain back?" I nodded yes and he continued to gently rub my back.

Lyndia came over to where I was laying down, "Haldir, I need to prepare her, Shash, I need you to sit up so I can unfasten your gown in the front and pull it down around you waist." I let her help me and she instructed me to lie down on my stomach.

Lyndia took time and explained to Haldir what would happen, Saelanu brought over a glass candle holder that sat in a metal base and in the base was a flame, the herbs inside the candle holder smelled heavenly. Saelanu told me to inhale the scent of the herbs which would put me in a deep sleep. I did as he asked and before long I was out like a light. I heard nothing; I did not even feel anything but I did dream of that horrible confrontation with James and Haldir coming to my rescue. That is all I could remember.

When I woke, I thought it was the same day but it was not, Lyndia informed me that it was late afternoon the next day. Which did shock me, "Really? I am going to have to get use to this elven side of me."

I was busy looking around the room and Lyndia spoke up, "Haldir was summoned by his parents he will return soon**.** Shash you should go and look at your back in the mirror."

I looked at her oddly, "What do you mean, is there something wrong with it?"

She came over to where I sat and helped me stand and to my surprise I was not dizzy at all. I slowly made my way to the bathroom. I unfastened my gown and let it fall off my shoulders just below my back. I could not believe, I was speechless, "Lyndia! Come here quickly!"

She hurried in, "What is wrong?"

"The scars, the scars are gone like they were never there, I can't believe it!"

She smiled, "Remember when I told you that Saelanu could remove the scars that were left by James on your back and we decided to do it when you returned for your wedding?"

"Yes, it was going to be my wedding for Haldir."

"Well, Saelanu, decided to rid your back of the scars while healing the pain you were having."

"Haldir, he did not see my back did he?"

"No Shash, your wedding gift to him is still a secret."

I let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you."

"That is why he is not here. I had mentioned to the Lord and Lady that I needed him out of the room before you awakened but he is due to return soon. So, fasten up your gown and put your robe on." I did as she suggested. Then she asked me, "Would you like anything to eat?"

"A couple biscuits with honey and a cup of tea would be just fine, and Lyndia,"

"Yes Shashuwan?"

"You know, I can't thank you enough."

She smiled, "You do not have to keep thanking me. You are my goddaughter." She quickly left the room and I stood there staring out the balcony doors, watching the elves continue on about their business.

"Haldir, I know you are here."

"Hmmm, your sense of smell is improving. That is good." He walked up behind me**,** slipped his arms around me and slowly but gently pulled me close. "I am happy to see you up**.** How do you feel?"

"I feel wonderful, my back is 100% better, I even feel stronger and you will be happy to know that I was not dizzy when I awoke."

"Good, I am sorry that I could not be here when you awoke. Ada and Naneth wanted to see me."

"It is fine; I can't expect you to be with me all the time."

He hugged me, "But I will feel better when you are here with me in Lothlorien, having you close will bring me great joy." The door opened and it was Lyndia.

"Marchwarden, I did not know you were here, I should have knocked please forgive me."

He smiled, "It is fine, no need to apologize."

"Shash, I have what you requested. If you need anything else please let me know." She left closing the door behind her. I sat at the table to enjoy my biscuits and tea. She even thoughtfully added a second cup to the tray for Haldir.

"So what do you have planned for us this evening?" I asked, smiling at him over the rim of my cup.

He smiled, "I was thinking we could go to my talan and just talk."

"Talking would be nice. We have not been able to just talk about us, our future together and all of the changes this would mean for both of us."

He smiled, "You are correct about the changes that are about to happen to both of us, especially you." Haldir said.

Haldir sat there just staring at me, "Is there something wrong you are staring."

He sat in the chair across from me, "May I just enjoy your beauty?"

"If it makes you happy, you may stare all you want."

"I have something for you, Shash."

"Something for me, what is it?"

He walked over towards the chaise picked up a huge package and placed it on the table in front of me, I was very surprised, "My love, what is it?"

"Open it, I hope you like it."

I opened the package and to my surprise was my very own tunic, leggings, boots and cloak. The material was soft grey suede and the boots were trimmed in grey fur but the cloak was a heavy material that was also trimmed in grey fur. "Haldir, this is beautiful! Thank you."

I sat there admiring what he had given me, "Well are you going to put it on or just look at it?"

I immediately got up and went behind the privacy screen to change, my new outfit fit me perfectly, even the boots, I was so excited that I almost knocked the screen over, but I caught it just in time. "So what do you think?"

"Well Shash, as you have said before, "You wear that very well!"

"Thank you, for always thinking of me." I gave him a hug and a well-deserved kiss.

"Someone wants to see you."

"Me? Who is it?"

He smiled, "Come and bring your cloak, because you will not be returning tonight." I grabbed my cloak and followed Haldir. He led me to a private room, he knocked and Lord Elrond answered the door.

"Haldir, Shashuwan, you are here good, please come in. He has been waiting." And to my surprise it was Glorfindel reclined in the bed. I was very happy to see him.

"Glorfindel, how are you?"

"I am feeling much better and I am told that I have you to thank for saving my life."

I could tell he was still in pain. "I am just happy to see you are doing better and you do not have to thank me." I sat in the chair next to his bed.

"Yes, I do, thank you Lady Shashuwan for everything."

"You are most welcome, My Lord."

"Haldir, you have a healer for wife and she is beautiful, Eru has blessed you." Glorfindel looked over at me and grinned, "Shash are you positive that you want to marry Haldir?"

I looked back at Haldir and smiled then back at Glorfindel, "There is no doubt in my heart that I want to be with him, he is the only one for me."

Haldir, smiled at my response, "Well my friend, she did answer your question. There is nothing more for me to say."

Glorfindel shook his head in amusement, "The reason why I asked you here is to offer my services to you Lady Shashuwan and what I mean is if you ever had to travel outside the realm of Lothlorien and Haldir is not here, I would be more than happy to escort you to where ever you have to go. Haldir, you know I would protect her with my life."

I was shocked, "Glorfindel, thank you but I would never what you to put your life in danger for me! And that is not for me to decide, you would have to ask Haldir."

He looked to Haldir, "Haldir, will you let me do this for her."

"My friend, I will accept but only if I am not here or my brothers or Finrod can not escort her. We will accept."

Glorfindel was happy that Haldir accepted his offer, "Lady Shashuwan, I am at your service whenever you need me."

I stood. "Thank you, My Lord. But right now you should be resting, you are still in a lot of pain and that is a request from your healer."

Haldir turned to follow me, "Haldir."

"Yes, my friend."

"You would be doing all of Lorien a great honor if Shashuwan worked alongside Saelanu."

Haldir looked to me to answer, "I would like that but I have a wedding coming up soon and I am looking forward to making a particular Marchwarden a priority in my life."

"Lady Shashuwan, I have the upmost respect for you, enjoy your day."

We left his room and started down the hall so we could begin our day together. Finally, when we reached the court yard the wind had picked up,and there was a definite nip in the air. One of his men approached us with two horses. Haldir inclined his head; we mounted the horses and we were on our way. We arrived at his talan, just before the snow started to come down. His talan was very warm and cozy. In front of the fire place was a beautiful brown fur rug with assorted pillows and a tray of wine, cheese, crackers and fruit. I removed my cloak and handed it to him.

"Haldir where are your brothers?"

"They offered to leave for the evening so we could be alone."

"That was sweet of them and you did not have to ask them?"

"No, I did not." He said with a smile.

"Did they set this up also?"

"They had to, I was with you, remember?" he said with a smile. "Come sit by the fire." Haldir sat down he put out his hand for me, I placed my hand in his and sat down with him, "Shash, you know that moving here would mean a lot of changes for you and me."

"To be honest, my main concern is failing you, I do not want to disappoint you or cause you shame."

He gently stroked my hand, "Shash, you fail me? I do not understand that, why would you think you would fail me?"

"Because I know nothing of living in Lorien, I have never cooked on a wood burning stove nor do I know anything about planting, knitting or …." He placed his finger on my lips.

"Shash, I know this will be strange and very new for you that is why Lyndia will be here every day by your side helping you through your everyday tasks. Just like how you want to be there for the transition of your clinic to new owners."

"That is very sweet of you, so you will not be upset if I accidently burned dinner a couple times?"

He had this worried look on his face, "I hope that will not happen but if it does I will not be upset and as for you causing me shame, no. The thought never entered into my mind, ever. Having you by my side would let my people know that I have a heart and the capability to love. But I do need to know is there anything that you could think of that would make you feel more comfortable?"

"The only thing I can think of would be a working toilet."

He laughed, "Shash that I can not do, but I do have something in mind and I hope you will like it."

"I know Haldir but you did ask! I am sure whatever you have planned for us will be perfect."

Haldir sat there thinking, "Shash, come with me in to the kitchen."

"I was wondering what smelled so good." I followed him to the kitchen where a pot was warming on the stove; I stood there watching him as he was stirring the pot of food. "Who cooked our meal?"

He turned and smiled, "Our brothers, Oro cooked the stew and Rumil baked the bread."

"That was very sweet of them."

He showed me where the dishes and utensils were so I could set the table; he placed the small pot on the table and served me. He waited for me to taste the meal.

"I have to admit, I am enjoying my meals more and more in Lothlorien, this soup is very good and the bread is delicious."

"Well you can thank them tomorrow morning. They will be joining us for breakfast and will also bring your things with them."

We sat there enjoying our meal and each other's company, "Haldir, I have made a decision and I want you to share it with you."

He sat back in his chair, "A decision, what is it?"

"I have decided to be immortal, I talked to Lord Elrond about it and he said once I return to stay we will talk about it further. But he did tell me to let you know right away, so is that alright with you?"

He reached across the table and gently squeezed my hand, "Shash, you have made me very happy and I could not be more delighted than I am right now."

"Thank you, Haldir but there are some other things that I need to talk with you about also."

"Other things? It sounds serious my love, what is it?"

"Well, can we discuss it after dinner in front of the fire?"

He smiled, "Of course, if that will make your more comfortable, yes."

We finished our meal and I helped with dishes, there was nothing left over from dinner because they only prepare what they need. We blew out the candles that were lit and returned to the front room.

"Now, my love what is it that you needed to tell me?"

"Haldir, I have been having dark images of James chasing me through the woods trying to kill me and awful images of someone trying to kill you and I have no idea why!"

He sat up and held me in his arms, "Shash, why did you not tell me of this sooner?"

I felt so safe with him, "Haldir, I did not want you to worry but I know now that I was wrong, please forgive me. I need for these nightmares to stop. Can you please help me? Is that even possible?"

He pulled back and took my hands in his, "Shash, you have been through a lot in the last few months but I will protect your dreams as always and I will also talk with Naneth about it."

"You will? Thank you." I tried to hold back a yawn so he would not pick up on it.

"Shash, you are tired, let us go to bed and I will protect your dreams."

We went upstairs to his bed room and he handed me one of his night shirts. Then he turned his back so I could change**. ** After a minute or so, I told him with a teasing voice, "Haldir, you can turn around. It's a little big but I think I wear it quite well don't you think?"

He smiled, "Yes, you do as always." I started looking around his room just taking in everything.

"Shash, is there something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing is wrong this my first time being in your room, I have always wondered what your bedroom would looked like and wondered how many maidens you had taken in your bed?" I said with a smile.

He grinned, he pulled back the blankets so I could get in bed, I sat there and waiting for him as he was getting undressed. "My love why would you wonder about how many maidens I have had in my bed?"

"I really don't want to know, I was just picking with you. That is your past; I am only concerned with our future."

He got in bed and took me in his arms, "Shash I have never had a maiden in my bed, you are the only woman that has been in my bed."

I lay in his arms, "Are you warm enough, my love?"

"Yes, I feel wonderful," I placed my arm around him and slowly drifted off to sleep, "I love you, Haldir."

I felt a kiss upon my forehead and my dreams were protected as he promised.


	18. Chapter 18

To all of my loyal readers,

My goal was to have chapter 18 posted, it would have led to the morning of the wedding but I had a setback, my home was broken into, they stole several items which included my laptop with everything on it, I have not been the same since. And I am trying to get back to my writing right now and I have not felt safe in my home since it happened but I will be moving in February.

I will try to get 18 posted as soon as possible, please just keep me in your prayers.

Thank you,

Luthien Calmcacils


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